While doing her annual fall closet clean out, a tradition she learned from her mother, Carrie finds $20, lip gloss, a lollipop, and Sebastian’s jacket, throwing the latter back in the closet once she realizes what it is. Aside from needing to reassess her clothing storage space, she began digging into her closet due to the stress she’s under from her class at The New School, where she’s just been given an open-ended writing assignment that will count for half her grade. The problem? Carrie has no idea what to write about or how to begin going about picking a topic. After some teasing from Weaver, as well as yet another afternoon sex session, Carrie gets advice from her boyfriend regarding how she should proceed from here. He tells her to pick the topic that scares her the most, that knocks her the farthest out of her comfort zone that she’s ever been.
Back in Castlebury, Mouse learns that West has decided to apply for safety schools rather than simply shooting for the Ivy League and hoping that his impressive resumee pulls through for him in the admissions process. As Mouse is dead set on attending Harvard, she doesn’t accept that safety schools are a thing for her and dismisses the idea of applying to them, even as West tries to extoll the virtues of a collegiate safety net. Elsewhere, with Stanford moving to Ibiza for a year, Bennet can no longer afford to live in their apartment and as such, has moved into seedy Alphabet City, a neighborhood that scares Walt to death. When she gets back from the city, Carrie brings Mouse along for a trip to the pharmacy and refuses to make “eye contact” with the condoms in one of the aisles, citing the fact that people would think she’s a pervert for checking them out. Mouse reminds her that people wouldn’t think of her as a pervert for practicing safe sex, apropos considering the reason they’re in the pharmacy in the first place is for birth control. However, before the prescription can be filled, Carrie and Mouse spot Maggie and the trio have a decidedly awkward, tentative conversation that ends on a hopeful note with both Maggie and Carrie agreeing to get together and talk.
Due to the events in the pharmacy, in addition to her past relationship experience, Carrie decides to write about sex in her essay and begins doing her research by talking to Samantha and Larissa, the two most perverted women she knows. But Carrie soon finds out that they’re too advanced to talk with her about sex, as the conversation turns to questions of Weaver’s size and stamina, as well as Carrie’s favorite positions. Overwhelmed and not wanting to hear about what Harlan likes in bed, Carrie leaves and Larissa gets Samantha to come with her to the wardrobe closet in hopes of replacing the latter’s clear, used heels that she bought from a girl named Sapphire. Samantha walks out in a pair of black pumps that she finds boring, yet she flirts with Harlan when he arrives in the offices of Interview, not knowing that he’s Larissa’s boyfriend. Larissa’s not mad, though; in fact, she’s turned on somewhat and invites Samantha to have a threesome with the two of them, which the latter accepts.
Maggie approaches Sebastian in the hallway, the two absent from a college prep assembly for seniors. Sebastian doesn’t mind, since he knows his parents will buy his way into whatever university they pick for him, and Maggie has given up on the idea of going to college. Instead, she’s settled on the idea of living a life like her mother, marrying a cop and popping out babies while their relationship quickly turns sour. Soon enough, though, she starts feeling hot and just makes it to a nearby trash can before vomiting and pulling out the pregnancy test she bought at the pharmacy. In Manhattan, Carrie broaches the topic of her essay with Weaver and enthusiastically declares that she’s ready to start writing about sex. However, she doesn’t exactly get the response that she was looking for, as he declares it a cheap topic that’s beneath her writing skills and compares it to fart jokes and gossip rags. He doesn’t want her to simply go with the first idea that popped into her head, not when the professor she’s taking the class under is as connected in the publishing industry as he is. Weaver claims that this essay could be make or break for Carrie’s writing career and sending out an essay about sex would be kind of dumb on her part. The entire rant destroys what little bit of confidence Carrie had built up about her idea and her skills as a writer, in addition to making her question her relationship with Weaver.
But she still participates in his “writer’s boot camp” and is forced to endure his brainstorming without a break, since he won’t let her outside to procrastinate. He wants her to dig deeper as a writer and find something that makes her soul hurt when in actuality, he’s the source of a majority of her hurt right now. After taking the pregnancy test and having it come out positive, Maggie finds Simon and tells him about the results and that he’s the 
only guy who could be the father. She thinks that this could mean that they would have permission from her father to be together, provided Simon breaks up with his fiancée, but he doesn’t want anything to do with the pregnancy and advises Maggie to find a way to get rid of it, despite the fact that he can’t financially help her and that she doesn’t have near enough money to do it herself. In his mind, she knew what this was and what she was getting herself into, so Maggie is on her own for the time being. Back at school, Walt tells Carrie and Mouse about how scared he is of Bennet’s neighborhood, a place that Carrie has heard horror stories about. While Walt contemplates Mouse’s suggestion of getting mace or brass knuckles, Carrie is noticeably on edge about her relationship with Weaver and the writing assignment lingering over her head. Despite claiming that everything with her boyfriend is going well, she’s in panic mode and thinks that if she turns in a bad essay, she’ll fail the class, fail as a writer, and end up in a bad enough shame spiral where she’ll eventually find herself living in Bennet’s neighborhood.
Carrie then goes to write alone on a typewriter in the library, only for her ideas to range from snakes to creepy clowns. Frustrated, she throws a wadded up paper ball behind her, hitting Sebastian. He assures her that she has a special enough perspective for anything she writes to shine and advises her to write about something that makes her smile, which proves to be exactly what she needed to hear and inspires her to dig into an idea that she likes. The topic? Sex. But Weaver respects her choice, especially after hearing the specifics of the paper that she’s already turned on. The focus is on the weird details she notices/thinks about while having sex, specifically how when she has sex with the window open at Weaver’s place, she knows that the guy across the way can hear them. Not wanting him to be able to hear, she closes the window and turns on the AC, which produces enough of a draft to make her cold, thereby causing the cycle to repeat itself. She admits to enjoying writing about sex, even though she doesn’t plan on making her living off of it, and Weaver again brings up his opinion that self-doubt is the key to being a great writer and that great writers are constantly digging for the next personal truth to splash across the page. While Carrie may respect his thought process, she doesn’t want her boyfriend to be filling her up with even more self-doubt than she already has, something that frustrates Weaver due to her willingness to be comfortable rather than good. But can a writer be both comfortable and good?
While Walt heads to Bennet’s apartment and accidentally maces himself in the eyes when he thinks someone’s trying to attack him, Maggie goes to Sebastian’s and the two start drinking, to the point where he says that sometimes it seems like it’s them against the world and she replies that she likes the idea of an “us” with him. Carrie and Weaver make it to the steps of a nearby brownstone and gives him back his jacket from earlier in the evening when it got cold. She doesn’t want something that doesn’t feel right, referring to both the garment and her relationship, and she laments that maybe they were too similar to be together, that they didn’t complement each other enough. In her opinion, being made to feel unsafe doesn’t equal a good relationship, nor does being with someone who relishes challenging her rather than wanting to grow together as people and writers. Weaver accuses her of never letting go of Sebastian and always comparing their relationship to her time with him; he then admits to reading more in her journal and the topic of conversation always coming back to Sebastian.
Maggie and Sebastian make out on his couch before he puts a stop to it, seeing as how things are complicated with Carrie and Maggie’s too drunk to give any type of consent. She admits to being pregnant and coming over to his house so that she didn’t have to be by herself, not after what happened with Simon. Sebastian tells her that she can spend the night and that they’ll figure out what her options are the following morning. Meanwhile, Carrie almost has all of her fall cleaning down now that she decided to stay at home for the night and receives an interesting piece of advise from Tom, who tells her that sometimes it’s okay to hang on to things from your past. She then asks to borrow the car and puts on Sebastian’s jacket before heading out the door.
Bennet tends to Walt’s eyes following the mace attack and mentions that if Walt is this scared of coming over, that he doesn’t have to anymore and that they can figure something out. But while things outside are scary, Walt feels safe in the apartment and as such, he’s not going to stop coming over. The two then say “I love you” for the first time. Samantha and Larissa’s threesome with Harlan fails to get off the ground, despite the rose petals, chains, and dominatrix gear. Harlan is at least an hour away from coming over, so both ladies get quite discouraged at the wasted opportunity and proceed to boast about the extensiveness of their sexual experience. Larissa leans over for something and gets smacked on the butt by one of Samantha’s riding crops, which leads to Larissa getting the camcorder and setting it up by the bed so that they can tape themselves having sex and show Harlan later.
Carrie sees Maggie asleep on Sebastian’s couch and leaves his jacket on his doorstep, a moment that upsets Mouse more than it upsets Carrie. Since she had been ignoring them both for months, Carrie knows that she doesn’t have any right to be mad about their perceived hookup and she inadvertently causes Mouse to have an epiphany and decide on applying to a safety school. While Sebastian pledges to help Maggie out in whatever way he can, things at Alphabet City have improved for Walt and Bennet and Carrie managed to get a B+ on her essay “Getting Cold When You’re Getting Hot”. However, she decides to chuck her birth control pills and never write about sex or the city again.
Additional thoughts and observations:
-“I don’t think the whole world is in this pharmacy.”
-“And by avant garde, I mean ugly.”
-“It’s nice to finally miss someone new.”
-“And if you’re going to make a joke about him being stuck in a tunnel…don’t.”
-Here’s my dirty little secret: I think Maggie is the most important character on this show. She’s not the flashiest and doesn’t get the sexiest storylines, but her stories thus far have provided such a great balance for the fluffy romance of Carrie, the tender way they’ve gone about approaching Walt’s sexuality, and Mouse’s comical overachiever-ness. For all the hardships and stress those three have faced, they still have a lot of hope about their respective situations and you feel like everything is going to tie itself perfectly for each of them. Carrie will find herself through her writing and become more comfortable with her sexuality; Walt will take the steps necessary to begin accepting who he is and what that’ll mean for his life after high school; Mouse will go on to rule the world while the rest of us are sleeping. But Maggie, Maggie is someone whose fate is less certain, who brings a certain amount of sadness and darkness to a show that’s decidedly optimistic and sunshine-y. And I love that. It makes the show more grounded and realistic, in that not everybody makes it after high school. Not everybody goes on to live the life that they want, especially not a girl like Maggie who doesn’t get good graces, lacks any kind of home support, and has been all but ex-communicated from her group of friends. Earlier this season, I was feeling a little antsy about how they weren’t tying what Maggie was doing with any of the rest of the group, but that made the reveal of her pregnancy tonight all the more effective. It’s a horrible situation for her to be in anyway, especially considering the fact that she was seriously entertaining the thought of college earlier in the season, and for her to have to do this without her longtime friends is pretty devastating.
-The show handled the break up with Weaver in a surprisingly poignant way. Nevermind the fact that I was right about her latching onto him so quickly due to infatuation and that he was seemingly the antithesis of Sebastian, it was interesting to see Carrie come to the realization that just because you share interests with someone doesn’t mean that they’re good for you. Just because someone is, on paper, a perfect match for you doesn’t mean that it’ll play out like that in real life. Just because someone is more experienced than you are, whether it be at sex, writing, or whatever, doesn’t mean that they know it all or that they should have the right to guide you down the path that they took. We all have our own path in life and as such, we need to find someone who will respect that and allow us to grow as a person in the way that we see fit. It’s an important lesson for her to learn and a conflict that would have to come up eventually, considering how inexperienced she is at dating and how adamant her subconscious was about breaking from Sebastian, as well as something that showcased the finer points of her character while acknowledging the weaknesses.
-Even if she could get past how demanding and insensitive Weaver was, she would have had to break up with him due to reading more of her journal, because that’s one of the bigger douche moves he could have pulled. And it shows just how insecure of a man he is, having to spy on a new girlfriend because he didn’t trust that things were going well and he didn’t respect her enough to talk to her about the state of their relationship/her past.
-I hope the plot of Sex and the City 3 is Carrie’s take on the history of trains. And that it features 79823923 puns about tunnels from Samantha.
-Fun nods to the mothership: Carrie wanting to shoe shop; the ending line/monologue; Stanford in Ibiza; Carrie not wanting to make a living writing about sex. I was going to rant about them making Samantha go through with a threesome since she tried one in Sex that didn’t go so well/made her uncomfortable, but they smartly subverted that.
-One thing I like about The Carrie Diaries is that it’s not afraid to shift around screen time and balance the tones of stories that it’s telling. This episode, Maggie and Carrie handled the dramatic heavy lifting, while Mouse, Walt, Larissa, and Samantha were much lighter, allowing the stories of teen pregnancy and self-identity to breathe and hit that much harder due to the contrast. Carrie’s always in the center, but each of the supporting players is well fleshed out and can pop in and out of the narrative whenever their stories need to be advanced. Going off that, the show paces itself well, not needing everybody in every single episode or every storyline to move at the exact same speed, and has done a fine job of building up the world that birthed the Carrie Bradshaw we watched for six seasons and two movies. This was one of the most peak Sex and the City-ish episodes of the season, particularly regarding how they handled Carrie’s breakup and the threesome.
-So, Samantha and Larissa hooked up. I’m usually pretty good at anticipating story beats and where a storyline will go, especially on a show like this. Not perfect by any means, but this isn’t the type of show that shocks me that often. But my jaw was on the ground when they started kissing and eventually got the camcorder for Harlan. I mean, it’s completely in character for Samantha and Larissa to be sexually free and competitive enough to want to prove themselves to be the superior sexual being, especially since sex is such a huge part of both of their identities. It was just amazingly funny (in a great way) to me, for some reason, for it to take that turn. Maybe it was the dominatrix gear?
-Nice use of “The Safety Dance” during the episode – similar to the use of “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” in the pilot. Although I would like if the show was filled with wall-to-wall 80’s music, having the original at the beginning and a cover at the end made for nice book ends.
-For the record, there are no such sex positions as the Moroccan Moustache, King Henry, and Reverse Bat Cave. If you guys want to invent them, go right ahead. We can trademark ’em, I guess. If that’s a thing you can do with sex acts.
-Mouse seemed awfully quick to go the violence route when talking to Walt about Alphabet City. I think she might already have those nunchucks she suggested Walt buy.
-I’m not here for cream cheese, either, hobo. I would have thrown the bagel at Walt, too.
-Next week on The Carrie Diaries: Samantha does damage control when a nasty rumor about Carrie gets published in a gossip rag, while Walt helps Bennet at Interview, Mouse tries to spice things up with West, and Sebastian comes to Maggie’s aid during a health crisis.
