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  1. #61
    Posting Pro X-Terminator's Avatar
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    That's a funny one VB, I think I've seen that episode and it's a very good one (like many are on The Simpsons).

    While many dialogues from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are memorable. This one I always find very funny, mainly because I'm also a fan of Dungeons & Dragons:


    DINING ROOM AT BUFFY'S HOUSE - NIGHT
    Giles and Xander are looking intently at a map that's laid out on the table.

    GILES
    I'm—I'm—I'm all turned around. You're here?

    XANDER
    By the pillar, yeah. I'm protecting this area.

    GILES
    That puts me over by the door. Demons around the perimeter— Right! I open the door.

    Pan over to show Andrew is also at the table, but he's wearing a red hooded cloak.

    ANDREW
    (reading from a book) You go through the door and are confronted by Trogdor the Burninator.

    GILES
    Oh, bugger it. Fight. (rolls dice, sips wine)

    ANDREW
    Adios to 5 hit points. Trogdor has badly wounded you.

    GILES
    Well, wait a minute. What about my... (puts on glasses) bag of illusions?

    ANDREW
    (scoffs) Illusions against a Burninator? Silly, silly british man. (Giles sips his wine again)

    AMANDA
    I invoke a time flux on Trogdor.

    ANDREW
    (looks at Amanda) Step down, girlfriend, you can't just—

    AMANDA
    Ninth level sorcerer, and I carry the emerald chalice. Trogdor is frozen in time. Deal with it. (writes something down)

    XANDER
    Smackdown on Red Riding Hood. This could get ugly.

    GILES
    Could it possibly get uglier? I used to be a highly respected watcher, and now I'm a wounded dwarf with the mystical strength of a doily. I just wish I could sleep.
    Hmm, reading it is less fun than seeing it on the show.
    Last edited by X-Terminator; 07-09-2005 at 10:21 AM.

  2. #62
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    BtVS:Spike to Giles: "Cup of tea, cup a tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea."

  3. #63
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    Everybody loves Raymond

    Marie: I'm more than just a trophy wife you know.

    Frank: Trophy wife? What contest in hell did I win?

  4. #64
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    Maria from Roswell:
    "I'm sorry. When humans need rides, they take Jettas. And when aliens need rides, they take spaceships. Oh! Find one." gets me everytime, poor Maria always being car-jacked

  5. #65
    Incurable Postaholic aqua's Avatar
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    Glory: The slayer's a robot?! Did everyone else know the slayer was a robot?!

    I love Glory and Clare Kramer's delivery was classic.

  6. #66
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    How do you guys remember these?

  7. #67
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    The Simpsons

    Homer: Rock stars, is there anything they don't know?

  8. #68
    Posting Pro X-Terminator's Avatar
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    Friends:

    Rachel: Ohh, Lilies. Joey, they’re my favorite. Thank you.

    Joey: And, a brownie! (Hands her a bag with the brownie in it.) well, half a brownie. Actually, it’s just bag. It’s been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin’ to feel faint so…
    Classic Joey

  9. #69
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    Friends

    Ross: I wish I was married again!

    *Rachel enters the coffee shop in a wedding dress*

    Chandler: I wish I had a million dollars. *looks toward the door*

  10. #70
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    Willow: I wish Buffy was here.
    Buffy: I'm here
    Willow: I wish I had a million dollars (The Scoobies give her weird looks). Just checking.

    "You're my friend! You're my Xander-shaped friend!"--Buffy Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer...lol Loopy Buffy

    "Crap! Look at this. Now I'm burdened with a husband, several tiny pink children, and more cash than I can reasonably manage."
    "That means you're winning."
    "Really?"
    "Yes, cash equals good."
    "Ooh, I'm so pleased! Can I trade in the children for more cash?"
    --Xander and Anya, Buffy the Vampire Slayer


    "I realize that every Slayer comes with an expiration mark on the package, but I want mine to be a long time from now. Like a Cheeto."--Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

  11. #71
    Incurable Postaholic aqua's Avatar
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    Spike (holding a box of chocolates, talking to a mannequin intended to represent Buffy): "Um... there's something I got to tell you. About showing you Riley in that place. I didn't mean to... (long pause) Anyway, I know you're feeling all betrayed — by him, not me. I was trying to help, you know. Not like I made him be there, after all. Actually trying to help you. Best intentions. I mean, you know, pretty state you'd be in, thinking things are all right while he's toddling halfway round the bend. (He stares at the mannequin and starts to get increasingly angry.) Oh, I'll insult him if I want to! I'm the one who's on your side! Me! Doing you a favor! And you, being dead petty about it — me, getting nothing but your hatred and your venom and— you ungrateful *****! Fuc— *****!"
    (He loses control and smashes the box of chocolates over the mannequin's head. He then sighs, picks up the mannequin and replaces it. He rearranges the wig, picks up the box of chocolate, and tries to stuff the chocolates back in. He composes himself and faces the mannequin again. )
    Spike: "Buffy... there's something I want to tell you."

    Willow (imitating Anya): "I like money better than people. People can so rarely be exchanged for goods and/or services!"
    Anya (very perturbed): "Xander, she's pretending to be me!"

    Anya: If you ever decide to go, I want a warning. You know? Big flashing red lights, and-and-and one of those clocks that counts down like a bomb in a movie? And there's a whole bunch of, of colored wires, and I'm not sure which is the right one to cut, but I guess the green one, and then at the last second, "No! The red one!" and then click, it stops with three-tenths of a second left, but then you don't leave. Like that, okay?
    Xander: Check. Big bomb clock.

    Anya: Humans make the same mistakes over and over. I saw it when I was a vengeance demon. Some guy dumps a girl, she calls me, I exact vengeance, blah blah blah, the next year, same girl, different guy. I mean, after you smite a few of 'em you start going, "My goodness, young lady... maybe you're doing something wrong here too."

    Buffy: So, um... about being a nun... you know, um, with the whole abjuring the company of men? You know, how's that working for you? The... abjuring?
    Nun: Um... good.
    Buffy: Yeah, do you have to be, like, super-religious?
    Nun: Well, uh...
    Buffy: How's the food?

    Giles: Dealing with people requires a certain, uh, finesse.
    Anya: I have finesse! I have finesse coming out of my bottom! I can completely lie to the health inspector! I can, you know, distract him with coy smiles, and bribe him with money and goods!

    Willow: You're the fish!
    Anya: What?
    Willow: Th-the fish in the bowl, in The Cat in the Hat. He was always saying that the cat shouldn't be there while the mother was out.
    Anya: What are you talking about?
    Tara: It's a book. This cat does all this mischief.
    Willow: It's so cute! He balances a bunch of stuff, including that fish in the bowl! A-and— but don't try it for real when you're six, because then you're not allowed to have fish for five years.
    Anya: You're referencing literature I have no way to be familiar with. You're trying to make me feel left out, and you're stealing!
    Willow: I'm not stealing. I-I'm just taking things without paying for them. In what twisted dictionary is that stealing?
    Tara: Willow, maybe we should just pay.
    Willow: Anya, Giles would be totally fine with this. Come on, it'll be fun. We could show you how to do some stuff! You could be floatin' pencils by the end of the day.
    Anya: Sometimes I miss having powers... Oh. Oh! I know what this is! This is peer pressure! Any second now you're gonna make me smoke tobacco and-and have drugs!

    Anya: I know what broke up him and Cordelia, you know. It was you! And your lips!
    Willow: No, it was not! Well, yes it was so, but... that was a long time ago, do you think I'd do that again?
    Anya: Why not?
    Willow: Hello? Gay now!

    Anya (to Xander): Oh, and Willow likes you too, but not in a sexy way. You know, 'cause she's gay. And she's not gonna try to break us up, so, you know, it's all okay.

    (curtesy of BuffyGuide) All these are from the episode "Triangle."

  12. #72
    KryptonSite Moderator yellowqueen22's Avatar
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    Logan: Now, see, why can't it just be like this? Why do there have to be all those other people in this world? - Veronica Mars, "A Trip to the Dentist"

    Veronica Voiceover: Whoever said it's a man's world had no idea how easy it is sometimes to be a girl. - Veronica Mars, "Betty and Veronica"

    Spike: I have heard a few complaints over the years, but then I just killed whoever spoke up, and that was pretty much that. - Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Get it Done"

    Fred: Uh. Because. You're not real. Or I'm not real... Somebody here isn't real and I suspect it's you. So if you're not real, then that means my head came off back there and then I'm dead now. Dead. And with me being dead and you not being real I can hardly be expected to have some big conversation at the moment because it's just a little too much pressure, alright?! - Angel, "Through the Looking Glass"

    Buffy: I didn't jump to conclusions. I took a small step, and conclusions there were. - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

    Keith: Have you been playing nice with the other children?
    Veronica: You know, Dad, I'm old school. An eye for an eye.
    Keith: I think that's actually Old Testament. - "Meet John Smith", Veronica Mars

    "I've been meaning to ask you something. Does your super sleuth kit come with a decoder ring? Do you have a pen that writes with invisible ink? Never mind. Don't care... Annoy tiny blonde one. Annoy like the wind." - Logan, Veronica Mars

    "You know what you are? You're a sheep. All you ever do is what everyone else does, so you can say you did it first. And here I am scrambling for your approval, when I'm way cooler than you are because I'm not a sheep! I do what I want, I wear what I want..." - Cordelia, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

    "Sure, we saved the world. I say we party. I mean, I got all pretty..." - Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

    "Things fall apart. Not everything can be put back together, no matter how much you want it." - The Host, Angel

    "I play a crucial role in this little circle. I'm the girl everyone loves to hate. I'm the one you can take all your anger and aggression out on." - Abby, Dawson's Creek

    "Strong is fighting. It's hard and it's painful and it's every day. It's what we have to do and we can do it together, but if you're too much of a coward for that, then burn." - Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

    "Soul's not all about moonbeams & penny whistles, love... It's about self-loathing. I get it. I had to travel around the world, but I understand now. I understand the violence inside." - Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

  13. #73
    Custom Title VersesBatman's Avatar
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    The Simpson's

    Homer: Stupid TV! Be more funny!

    Homer: I'm not a praying man but if you're up there, save me Superman!

    Marge: Homer, here's someone who can help us!
    Homer: Batman?
    Marge: No, he's a scientist.
    Homer: Batman's a scientist?
    Marge: It's not Batman!

  14. #74
    New In Town sunday445's Avatar
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    “How you doin?” Joey Friends

    “Where are we some kind of freaky feminist parallel universe” Lois Smallville

  15. #75
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    "Why you little" - Homer Simpson

    "D'oh" - Homer

    "mmm... donuts" - Homer... again

    "Austrailians breed for barwork, its instinct ... I...N...S...T...I...N...C...T" - The Guv'nor (Time Gentelmen Please)

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