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  1. #31
    New In Town DonnyV5150's Avatar
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    10 West Wing quotes, all from the first season (y'know, when a show is usually trying to find its footing)

    Rev. Van Dyke: If our children can buy pornography on any street corner for five dollars, isn't that too high a price to pay for free speech?
    President Bartlet: No.
    Rev. Van Dyke: Really?
    President Barlet: On the other hand, I do think that five dollars is too high a price to pay for pornography.


    Toby: You accidentally slept with a prostitute.
    Sam: Call girl.
    Toby: Accidentally.
    Sam: Yes.
    Toby: I don't understand, did you trip over something?


    Josh: Let's say your cut of the surplus is $700. I want to take your money, combine it with everyone else's money and use it to pay down the debt and further endow social security. What do you wanna do with it?
    Donna: Buy a DVD player.
    Josh: See.
    Donna: But my $700 is helping to employ the people who manufacture and sell DVD players, not to mention the people who manufacture and sell DVD's. It's the natural evolution of the market economy.
    Josh: The problem is, the DVD player you buy might be made in Japan.
    Donna: I'll buy an American one.
    Josh: We don't trust you.
    Donna: Why not?
    Josh: We're Democrats.
    Donna: I want my money back!
    Josh: You shouldn't have voted for us.

    Keep that one in mind if you're ever tempted to vote for a Democrat, folks

    Josh: Five White House staffers in the room. I would like to say to the 1.6 of you who are stoned right now, that it's time to share.

    Josh:I was interrogating this intern from the Legislative Liaison's Office, and she broke down crying while telling me about the bong she had made out of an eggplant.
    Leo: You can do that?
    Josh: I used to use a potato.
    Leo: You've always been industrious.

    Josh: An hour with you in a rare book store. Couldn't you just drop me off the top of the Washington monument instead?
    President Bartlet: It's Christmas, Josh! No reason we can't do both.

    President Bartlet: We meant 'stronger' here, right?
    Sam: What does it say?
    President Bartlet: I'm proud to report our country's stranger than it was a year ago"
    Sam: That's a typo.
    President Bartlet: Could go either way.

    President Bartlet: You know, I was watching a television program before with a sort of a roving moderator who spoke to a seated panel of young women who were having some sort of problem with their boyfriend, apparently because the boyfriends had all slept with the girlfriends' mothers. Then they brought the boyfriends out and they all fought right there on television. Tell me Toby, these people don't vote do they?

    Danny: Want to have dinner?
    CJ: With you?
    Danny: Yes.
    CJ: I have to read a report on Sex Education.
    Danny: Hey!
    CJ: I'm anticipating any joke you could possibly make right now, and I'm not finding any of them funny.

    Toby: You're concerned about American labor and manufacturing.
    Congressman: Yeah.
    Toby: What kind of car do you drive?
    Congressman: Toyota.
    Toby: Then shut up.

  2. #32
    Custom Title VersesBatman's Avatar
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    More MST3K

    Crow: This movie dares you to watch it.

    Crow: It's like they took a whole bunch of movies, put them in a blender and turned it on really fast!

    Tom Servo: Ennnnnnnd! Ennnnnnd!

    Mike: Hey guys, what did I miss?

    Crow: *gasps* Only the best opening credits ever!

    Crow: Looking at space makes me feel so insignificant. But then again, I always feel insignificant.

    [Woman hands a glass to these two woman] Drink this!

    Mike: But it's got chunks!

    [The women giggle while drinking it]

    Crow: It's like we're smart but we're not!

    [An airplane starts to turn green]

    Mike: All of a sudden, I'm a refreshing mint flavor.

    [The airplane flies upside down]

    Tom: Aw dammit, I spilled my Big Gulp!

    [Airplane flies past watch tower]

    Tom: Maverick!

    [Airplane pilot starts using the stick shift]

    Crow: Uh Mike, should they be showing this?

  3. #33
    Site Groupie Renee28's Avatar
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    Originally posted by VersesBatman
    Crow: Looking at space makes me feel so insignificant. But then again, I always feel insignificant.
    Reminds me of a line from a space scene in another episode:

    "Kind of makes you feel huge and significant, doesn't it?"

    Two more from "MST3K," from episodes where there were awkward scene breaks:

    "I think my neck got broken in that jump cut."

    "Just because you CAN edit doesn't mean you SHOULD."

  4. #34
    Forum Whiz lexslave's Avatar
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    thanx for all the laughs guys..
    going with the friends line of thought...

    (from the best episode EVER! (imo) -the one with the leather pants

    joey (who is on the phone): what color is the lotion?

    ross:why?

    joey: well, if it's the same color as the pants, you can make yourself a pair of paste pants!

    (this cracks me up EVERY time)

  5. #35
    Custom Title VersesBatman's Avatar
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    I love that ep!

    The Simpsons

    Homer: When that baby is born, he'll see a man with a job.

    Homer's sister in law, Patty: Yeah, the doctor.

  6. #36
    Custom Title smallville_girlie's Avatar
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    From The OC

    Luke: Welcome to The OC B***h


  7. #37
    Forum Regular Wall Of Weird's Avatar
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    YES! OC quotes! I was actually just a/b to put a few...

    The O.C.

    Summer: You may not believe this, but I am going miss you!
    Anna: Awww! Whats even more unbelivable is I'm going to miss you!
    Summer: Pretty unbelievable!
    Anna: Bye Blanch!
    Summer: See you, Rose.

    Seth (to Anna): Please, don't go. Who will I play Jenga with?

    Marissa (to Ryan a/b a video game): Yes, but what I lack in numchucks, I make up for in saber.

    Summer (about Seth): Wait, I'm loosing my head over him?
    Marissa: Um, yeah, you are.
    Summer: Oh wow.

    Seth: It's Christmakah... the best holiday of the year!

    And finally,
    Luke (in the hospital): Who knows, maybe I'll end up falling for the quarterback's girlfriend. Welcome to Portland, b**ch

  8. #38
    1000 More To Go!! SMLVLFAN89's Avatar
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    From Monk:

    Old Lady: I should have kicked him in the paticulars when i had the chance!


  9. #39
    Site Groupie Renee28's Avatar
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    I love that one!

    Hurray, a fellow "Monk" fan!

  10. #40
    Custom Title VersesBatman's Avatar
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    The Simpsons

    Lisa: Doesn't the bible say "Judge not lest ye be judged."?

    Chief Wiggum: Yeah well, the bible says a lot of things.

  11. #41
    New In Town KHStar88's Avatar
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    Favorite TV Quote?

    I have a lot. Especially from FRIENDS .

    Here's a few.

    Phoebe: [Right after playing a song in the coffee shop ] If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.

    [After seeing Monica and Rachel's Prom Video]
    Joey: Some girl ate Monica!
    Monica: The camera adds ten pounds!
    Chandler: So how many cameras are actually on you?

    Rachel: Hey, just so you know: it's *not* that common, it *doesn't* happen to every guy, and it *is* a big deal!

    Ross: We were on a break!

    Monica: I'm Rachel. I love Ross. I hate Ross. I love Ross. I hate Ross.
    Rachel: I'm Monica. I can't get a boyfriend so I'll stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find there.

    Joey: It's a rented tux. Okay? I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.


    And many many more from other shows as well.




    What's yours?

  12. #42
    Custom Title VersesBatman's Avatar
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    Mystery Science Theater 3000

    (A woman approaches two other women)

    Por favor?

    Crow:*snickers* Yeah right!

    (one woman speaks in a very bad English accent)

    Mike: Oh knock if off you two. You're from Nebraska.

  13. #43
    New In Town KHStar88's Avatar
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    From Will and Grace.

    Grace: You know what my Aunt Pescha would say if she were in this room right now?
    Will: "Why the hell did my parents name me Pescha"?

    Will: C-3PO wasn't gay, he was British.

  14. #44
    Custom Title VersesBatman's Avatar
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    Mystery Science Theater 3000

    (A young man walks into a chair)

    Joel: Oh my area!
    ~~~~

    (some drifters sit around a campfire drinking coffee)

    Crow: It's a Sumatra blend, I think you'll really like it.

    ~~~~

    (some women in togas are fighting in the dirt)

    Tom Servo: Beaches. The alternative ending

    Joel: It's the break-up of Wilson Philips.

    ~~~~

    (some soldiers are preparing to fight giant grasshoppers)

    Crow: *singing* We're not afraid of great big bugs! Army guys like lots of hugs!

  15. #45
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    buffy:
    spike:since when do people use there tongues to say hello?

    buffy:if xander kills himself he will be dead

    battlestar galatica:
    starbuck:be careful these things are more sensitive than a schools girls...(suddenly speechless as he relizes he is talking to all women)

    angel:
    pretty much everything from smile time

    gunn:you take the 3000 on the left


    ok this is a movie but i have to chuck some quotes from my fav movie of all time-ghostbusters;

    ray:dickless her turned of our machine!
    mayor:is this true
    peter:yes it is-this man has no dick

    the mental hospital docters knock on door,janine answers and looks at them and relize who they are
    janine:dropping off or picking up?

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