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  1. #16
    Custom Title VersesBatman's Avatar
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    Chandler: Why yes, a piece of gum would be perfection.

    I love Lucy

    Ricky: Lucy, in the fifiteen years we have been married, this is the craziest stunt you've ever pulled!

    George Reeves(Superman): Wait a minute. You're telling me you've been married to this lady for fifteen years?

    Ricky: Yes we have been married for fifteen years!

    George Reeves: And they call me Superman!
    Last edited by VersesBatman; 05-06-2004 at 06:33 AM.

  2. #17
    Site Groupie Renee28's Avatar
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    I love that last one, Verses. (Very appropriate for this board, too!)

    I could quote from "MASH," "Monk," and "MST3K" all day long! Here are some from each (hope it's not an overwhelming amount).

    From "Monk" (the show about the obsessive-compulsive detective, for those who haven't seen it):

    Monk (explaining why he won't sit on the ground): "Animals do things on the ground. Terrible, terrible things."

    Monk (trapped in a cave and answering his cell phone): "Hello? Can't talk now, I'm trapped in a cave."

    Sharona, Monk's assistant: "You know when you can drive? When hell freezes over, then you can drive. No, you know what? Even if hell does freeze over, you can't drive, because I don't want you driving on the ice."

    Police captain: "We'd like permission to search your pie."
    Suspect: "What?"
    Captain: "Please, don't make me say that again."

    Psychiatrist: "The answer is inside of you."
    Monk: "No, the answer isn't inside of me. It's inside of you. If you told it to me, I would hear it, and THEN it would be inside of me."

    From "MASH":

    Henry: "Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank."
    Hawkeye: "Well said, Henry."

    Henry (after someone tries to blow him up): "BOOM!"

    Radar: "Ah, Bach!"

    And I can't remember the exact lines, but I love the scene where Hawkeye teaches the Korean kids to call Frank "Ferret Face."

    From "MST3K":

    Mike: "Okay, hold it. Everyone go up a shirt size."

    A guy in a Japanese movie is dressed like a lounge singer.
    Mike (singing): "When I was Japanese, it was a very good year. . ."

    Guy in movie: "Come back here! I'll kill you!"
    Mike: "Actually, that's more of a disincentive."

    Guy in movie: "What happened to [the co-pilot of the space shuttle]?"
    Mike: "He kept babbling about truth and beauty, so I shot him out the airlock."

    From the blooper video --
    Joel: "Kind of makes you wonder what the next line is, doesn't it?"

  3. #18
    Custom Title VersesBatman's Avatar
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    MST3K

    A woman speaks Spanish: Por Favor?

    Crow: *snickers* Yeah right!

    Another woman starts to speak in a very bad English accent

    Mike: Oh cut it out you two. You're both from Nebraska.
    Last edited by VersesBatman; 05-07-2004 at 10:59 AM.

  4. #19
    Forum Whiz SwedishSuperhero's Avatar
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    The Amanda Show at Nickelodeon:

    Foreighn video rental manager: This movie better.

    FVRMs children: MUCH BETTER!!


    Penelope: I need to see Amanda, please!


    Kyle: Totally!


    Tony Pyjamas: Im stah-ving ova hee!


    Courtney: Mwa-haa!

  5. #20
    Site Groupie Renee28's Avatar
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    Originally posted by VersesBatman
    MST3K

    A woman speaks Spanish: Por Favor?

    Crow: *snickers* Yeah right!

    Another woman starts to speak in a very bad English accnet

    Mike: Oh cut it out you two. You're both from Nebraska.
    Oh, yes, I love those!

  6. #21
    Custom Title Dukegirl's Avatar
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    More quotes from MASH, when Frank gets really drunk.

    Frank: (singing) A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I ... I got a gal from Kalamazoo.
    Hawkeye: Frank!
    Frank: Zoo.

    Hawkeye: Frank, you do requests?
    Frank: Yep
    Hawkeye: Shut your cakehole!
    Frank (sings): Oh shut your cakehole...

    Frank: I've got brains as big as hers are!
    (to which Hawk opens his eyes and you have to see the look on his face )

  7. #22
    Custom Title VersesBatman's Avatar
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    MST3K

    A villian gives an evil laugh

    Joel: Ohhhhhhh, observational humor! God I love Seinfeld!

    A heroine is locked in a cage and looks for a means to escape.

    Joel: A paperclip, string and coal. What would Macgyver do?

    Some cavemen are eating in a cave.

    Tom Servo: See Grog throw bone in air. Watch it turn into spaceship.

  8. #23
    Site Groupie Renee28's Avatar
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    Oh, you just reminded me of another "MST3K" line (though I forget who said it):

    "Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"

  9. #24
    Banned EmperorZoom's Avatar
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    Married with Children

    Al: I'm gonna hate these people.
    Peg: You will not hate them, they are very nice.
    Al: If they were nice, they'd be dead and I'd be at the game

    Al: Who called Vancouver? Peg, did your mother get so fat she spread across the border?

    [Al comes in and bucket falls on his head]
    Peg: Al, did you have to come home?
    Al: Well, the summer house was closed up. The yacht was in dry dock. So I figured, what the hell, I'll go to the ghetto home.
    Marcie: We're waiting for Steve.
    Al: So the bucket of death wasn't meant for me.

    MST3K

    [When the eskimos' find out there could be a war]
    Joel: There's nothing more tragic than a war in an Eskimo village.

    [While opening theme is playing]
    Crow: Music by the Edgar Allen Poe Marching Band!

    [As Jimmy writes a farewell note to his mother]
    Crow(As Jimmy): I'll just put this over here next to mom's suicide note.
    Last edited by EmperorZoom; 05-08-2004 at 01:24 AM.

  10. #25
    Posting Pro Miranda's Avatar
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    Spin City, the one where Christopher Lloyd had a guest appearance as Owen:

    Owen: Micheal Flaherty!
    Mike: Owen! Look at you. I'll tell ya, this is eeh, this is like stepping back in time.
    Owen: The past was the prologue, Micheal. Men like us have to keep looking to the future.
    Mike: What the heck are you talking about?

    And ofcourse the quote from The Invisible man in my sig!

  11. #26
    Custom Title VersesBatman's Avatar
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    Originally posted by EmperorZoom
    Married with Children

    Al: I'm gonna hate these people.
    Peg: You will not hate them, they are very nice.
    Al: If they were nice, they'd be dead and I'd be at the game

    Al: Who called Vancouver? Peg, did your mother get so fat she spread across the border?

    [Al comes in and bucket falls on his head]
    Peg: Al, did you have to come home?
    Al: Well, the summer house was closed up. The yacht was in dry dock. So I figured, what the hell, I'll go to the ghetto home.
    Marcie: We're waiting for Steve.
    Al: So the bucket of death wasn't meant for me.

    MST3K

    [When the eskimos' find out there could be a war]
    Joel: There's nothing more tragic than a war in an Eskimo village.

    [While opening theme is playing]
    Crow: Music by the Edgar Allen Poe Marching Band!

    [As Jimmy writes a farewell note to his mother]
    Crow(As Jimmy): I'll just put this over here next to mom's suicide note.
    I love "I accuse my parents"!

    [Jimmy walks into a chair]
    Joel: Oo, my area!

  12. #27
    Registered User vyperman7's Avatar
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    Married with Children :

    Al : "Marcy, I'd call you a chicken but I don't see any breasts".


    Bud : " Jeez Kel, do you remember when you were in that van with the bumper sticker "If this van's a rockin, don't come a knockin"

    Kelly : "That can be taken a lot of different ways"

    Bud : " Yeah, and so can you".

  13. #28
    Banned EmperorZoom's Avatar
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    MST3K

    "...And the Lord said DIE CHILDREN DIE!!" -Joel

    "Any similarity to actual persons would be really sad." -Tom Servo

    "Can I show you something in a size *me*?" -Crow (as Jimmy).

    "Help me, Obi Wan...oh, wrong movie." -Crow

    "I'd rather share a needle with Keith Richards." -Tom Servo (as Ken).

    "I'd slap this movie if I could." -Tom Servo

    "I hate movies where the men wear shorter skirts than the women." -Crow

    "I have the feeling *Satan* would regret making this movie." -Mike

    "Let's crap in our hands and throw it at people! Heh heh... You know, no matter how much you evolve, that's still damn funny." -Crow (as Ape Lieutenant)

    "Meanwhile, at Kurt Cobain's house..." -Tom Servo.

    "Oscar Wilde only *wished* he were this gay." -Joel

    "Outtakes from the Manson Family Christmas." -Crow


    The Simpsons

    "All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer."-Homer

    "If he is so smart, how come he is dead?"-Homer

    "Kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers."-Homer

  14. #29
    Site Groupie Renee28's Avatar
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    Another "Monk" line. . . .

    Monk: "Are you trying to kill me? It's okay if you are. I just need to know."

  15. #30
    Forum Whiz clarksmyman's Avatar
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    as soon as i saw this i thought of the "we were on a break!" line.

    Friends

    The thanksgiving/football episode. Chandler and Joey are fighting over the dutch girl.

    Chandler: Joey, where are the dutch from?

    Joey: Umm...

    Chandler: Isn't it somewhere near the netherlands?

    Joey: Oh no you can't trick me. I know that is wher Peter Pan lives.

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