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Author: TheAmazingApe
Requester: Bkwurm1
The prompt: “Chloe/Clark, Set during season 6, at the end of Nemesis when Lex and Clark emerge from the collapsed tunnel, Chloe doesn't know what comes over her, but it's Dark Thursday all over again - though this time, she can't blame it on the world almost ending.”
Title of the work: It’s Only Fair
Pairing: Chlark
Type of fill: Fic
Rating: PG-13 (that’s new for me)
Length: 5,273
Notes: An alternate ending to “Nemesis.” For the purposes of this fic, I’m going to ignore that Chloe/Jimmy are back together after their first break-up (of many) because… I mean. it’s hard to help dealing with Lana in this. I just don’t want to deal too much with Jimmy, too. *whine, wobbly lip, doe eyes*
Summary: Chloe plants a kiss on Clark… again. This time, he’s not letting her off so easy.
Clark stared up at the clouds, not even hearing the explosion as much as feeling it beneath him and wondering if he was staring up at the heavens in a way that was permanent. If it was heaven, maybe he’d earned it after being trapped in a sort of powerless purgatory with the man who was once his best friend. Lex was now his worst enemy. And why?
The answer, as always, was Lana. Lana had been the answer to everything since he could remember looking for answers, for goals, for reasons to do anything, be anything, put on a clean shirt and comb his hair.
Lex had her now, even in the eyes of the law. And that couldn’t be forgiven, except…
Did you really think I was gonna let you die alone down here, Clark? Guess you never knew me at all.
He blinked up at the sky. He wasn’t dying. He was healing even now. And that was due, in large part, to Lex coming back for him. He pushed himself up as he felt his strength returning, his wounds closing where the late afternoon sun touched them, started to look to his side, now worried that Lex hadn’t somehow made it out. But he saw him through the smoke. A paramedic moved to him and Clark pointed him to his right silently, hoping he’d move on to Lex instead. He turned away only to find Lana staring at him.
She moved to him quickly, her hand going to the bandage on his arm, now doing nothing but sit there constricting him. He gripped her hand, ready to push it away. It belonged to Lex, after all. She’d married him. But he gripped it selfishly for just a second. It was hard to accept, after all, having wanted her for so long, but she was no longer his and hadn’t been for some time.
Her hand slipped out of his and he almost didn’t need to turn to see why.
Lex.
Lex had saved him down there. Before Clark had used what was left of his strength to hoist them both out of that hatch, Lex had come back for him, trapped and weakened as he’d been. They’d never have gotten out if not for that.
He stared at the two of them, thinking maybe Lex deserved this, a hero’s welcome and a woman’s embrace. She’d married him. Maybe he was kidding himself that there was anything more to it.
Lex’s eyes met his and he turned sharply away, figuring he’d have to find a way to get past the police and paramedics and Chloe… Chloe?
She was striding toward him through the wind and smoke, her brows drawn together, her hair mussed in the wind, and her eyes intent upon his. She probably had all kinds of questions about what went on down there and he strode to her, ready to tell her that they could wait till later when she flew at him, one hand gripping his shoulder and the other curling around his neck until he found his lips against hers.
This wasn’t the first time this had happened and, like that other time, he wondered how someone so small could so easily pull him down. Then again, like last time, it wasn’t like he was putting up a fight.
Her lips clung to his as her hands moved, one slipping into his hair while the other almost surreptitiously crept under his bandage. She pulled away. “You’re not hurt, right?” She ripped at the fabric, stared at his bloodied, but unmarred arm, then her eyes moved to his lips again before she met them again.
“No,” he blearily heard them say, muffled against hers. Then he started to wonder why the hell he was even trying to talk when her lips moved, then opened.
He was supposed to be doing something, wasn’t he? He’d had some vague ideas about speeding away before the paramedics could discover he was perfectly fine a few moments before, but now there was something more important. That hero’s welcome. Didn’t he deserve this after this hellish day?
They’d been here before and he hadn’t had time to do more than stand there and be kissed.
Not this time.
He moved his hands to her sides and then downward, stopping at her hips, shaking just a little as he slipped them around to her back, barely even getting to consider where they might go next before her tongue slid between his lips and robbed him of all free will. He gripped her waistband, feeling a belt loop snap in his hands as she pressed against his chest… and not in the good way.
Suddenly, her lips were gone. So was the rest of her.
“You’re okay. That’s all I wanted to…” She stumbled backwards.
He failed to catch her, considering most of him was still stuck in that kiss.
Luckily, she caught herself, still walking backward. “So I have, you know, work to do. Like professionally and everything. Okay?”
He found himself nodding.
“Okay, then.” She pointed at him sharply. “You’re okay and that was just… all that was for and… and about.”
“But…”
“We’ll talk later,” she yelled over her shoulder as she ran back to that plain police car.
He turned around, dazed, then caught sight of Lex and Lana, staring at him, their expressions as dumbfounded as his must be.
*******
He wasn’t sure what he was doing, returning to the scene two hours later.
He’d gone home, showered off the dirt, the blood, that kiss… Well, as much as anyone could. He should be grateful no one was looking for that guy with no injuries. So why was he back here again, tempting them to remember? There were still police scattered around.
Maybe he was just hoping to get it all straight, the sequence of events. Sometimes he thought every moment since he emerged from those tunnels was some kind of fever dream. First Lana, slipping out of fingers, then Chloe, slipping into them… Her hands grasping him, her lips…
It had been over so quickly, he almost thought he’d imagined it. But he hadn’t… had he?
He saw her now, some yards away, eyes on a blueprint, pacing among the last of the police cars. She’d hightailed it out of there so quickly before, he’d barely had time to say a word, once his lips had been freed, that is. He’d say something now, damn it.
“Chloe!”
She turned to him and, for half a second, he wondered if it would happen again. If she’d just run at him, grab him, pull him down and…
Chloe quickly turned away, striding ahead and pacing the dirty path with one eye on her blueprints and the other eye on some sort of blank space ahead. Neither of those eyes on him. Maybe that was just as well.
“I've X-rayed these tunnels over a dozen times,” he said, catching up to her. “They all just seem to lead to Reeves Dam.” So maybe they could talk about something besides Lex, just considering…
“Maybe so, but if Lex was willing to go up against Tomb Raider for them, I can't retire my reporter's notebook just yet.”
Or not.
Clark fell into step with her, knowing there were bigger things going on, almost ashamed at his single-mindedness, coming back out here for something as silly as a kiss that she was obviously not going to repeat or even talk about. It’s not like he hadn’t been here before. He’d once spent a significant amount of time trapped in another dimension without much more than the thought of a kiss from Chloe Sullivan to keep him going only to find, on returning, that it was just no big deal to her. Maybe this was the same.
“I still don't understand how you thought to come out here. Lex said no one knew about those tunnels, not even…”
“Lana?” Chloe cut in, stopping.
Clark stopped, too. “She led search and rescue out here?”
Chloe silently confirmed.
“I guess I had it all wrong. This whole time, I thought that Lex had forced her into that marriage, but now I don't think he did.” And maybe it was time to accept that. He’d already kidnapped her from her engagement party, then practically from her wedding. Neither had changed anything. From Lex’s point of view, maybe it was Clark who was the ******* here.
“Don't give up on your hunch just yet, Clark,” Chloe said, cutting into his thoughts. “Lana knew about the other entrance to those tunnels the whole time, and it wasn't until she heard you were down there that she magically produced them.”
Clark frowned. “Lana was gonna let Lex die down there?”
“I think the Luthor mansion has a lot more secrets than we realize.”
“Well, maybe we should let them stay there. I mean, Lana would have let Lex die,” he repeated. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“I was only saying that maybe it wasn’t Lex she wanted to save.”
“I get that, but what am I supposed to do with that? Like I have some kind of shot here? I didn’t exactly want to go out of my way to save Lex, but I went down there. You said it yourself. I don’t get to choose who I save. You helped me save him, even after all he did to you. Am I supposed to give Lana a pass on that?”
Chloe sighed. “I don’t know what I’m saying. Maybe I just want you to feel better.”
“Is that what that kiss was about?”
Chloe fumbled her blueprint open. “You know, if we look more closely, I wonder if these tunnels have some special features. I mean, I hate to have this day be all pain and no gain.”
Clark stared at her. “So we’re not going to talk about it?”
“Is there a reason to?” She said, smiling blandly. “I mean, that was just me.” She smiled wider. “You know me.” She laughed. “World’s ending, grab a guy…”
“And how was that the world ending?”
“It wasn’t,” she said, still blandly, still smiling. “Look, I was just… overcome with relief.”
“But you’ve…”
“Obviously, planting one on you was a major overreaction. But, you know, I’ve done this before.”
“That’s kind of what I was going to say.”
“I know. It’s like this pattern with me. I’m sorry it makes you so uncomfortable.”
“I never said…”
“It actually has nothing to do with you.” She stared at her blueprints again. “Just me and… adrenaline and… and this thing we used to have.”
“Used to…”
“It’s actually funny, when you think about it. But it’s just a blip. It’s not like I’m trying to go anywhere. As you know, Jimmy and I are considering a reconnection and I’m very excited about it,” she said, eyes still glued to those blueprints. “So I think it’s best we just forget this happened.” She looked up and smiled.
He didn’t. He was staring at those blue prints and a few familiar words scrawled in the corner. “Is this a speech? I mean, did you write that down?”
Her eyes widened and she quickly started to close them, but he grabbed them before she could, scanning the untidy scrawl in the corner. Just a blip… obvious pattern… nothing to do with you…
She snatched them back, lips tight. “Okay. It’s getting dark. I think I need to look these over back at The Planet.”
“Chloe…”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she cut in, staring down as she folded them again. “It happened. It was stupid. Just because I wrote a few notes doesn’t mean…” She met his eyes. “Can you please just let it go?”
Clark stepped back, seeing the naked pain in her eyes. “Is that what you want?”
She stared at him for a long moment before speaking. “That’s what I want.”
He stepped back further, nodding. “I should get home.”
She nodded as well. “Like I said, I should get back to The Planet and look at these under some actual light.” She forced a smile and moved away.
He started away as well, a bit dazed. Why had he come here, anyway? To get shot down again?
“Clark?”
He turned back, saw her stopped at her car. “I promise it won’t happen again.”
************
I promise it won’t happen again.
He threw a tennis ball at his ceiling, catching it over and over as the words repeated in his head. He should be relieved. Every time Chloe did this, she managed to take it back, practically in the next moment.
When she said it was a pattern with her, speech or not, she was right. She was always there, like some road not traveled, and every time he thought about what it would be like to explore that road, there she was, saying they were better as friends, that she wasn’t expecting them to hook up, that it was just a blip, that it wouldn’t happen again…
He caught the ball and sat up, still bothered by that more than anything. This thing between him and Chloe, whatever either of them might call it, the one thing it wasn’t was finished. For her to just make that decision, not even giving him a vote or even the chance to talk about it, made him feel cheated. Then again, hadn’t she done that before? Pretty much every other time? He just had to sit there, getting kissed, then getting brushed off almost immediately after.
Damn it, maybe it was for the best if it didn’t happen again. She was almost more confusing than Lana. Scratch that. No one would ever be as confusing as Lana, dangling herself in front of him while dating Lex, engaged to Lex, now married to Lex. He was finished taking the bait. Right now, that bait didn’t even seem very tempting. Lana would have let Lex die down there, he reminded himself. It bothered him, made him wonder who he’d been chasing all these years. Deep down, he was always thought, on an ethical level, that he and Lana were alike.
He tossed the ball away, towards the wide window. He barely knew how far. Maybe he’d never find it again. Maybe that was for the best, too. He was sick of that ball. He was sick of this year, sick of himself, sitting here and brooding alone… Well, except for when Chloe was here trying to cheer him out of it. When he wasn’t brooding, he was wearing himself out, chasing after Lex’s suspicious doings or whatever else was terrorizing the tri-state area, always feeling like he alone could do every damned thing… Well, with Chloe always burning the midnight oil beside him or pushing him to stop moping and do something!
He stood, then, the realization hitting him with a resounding beep. He frowned and looked around. It was actually his phone that beeped. But the realization was still there. Why was he sitting around, moping over a girl who made him miserable when he could be moping over a girl who made him… well, better?
He sat down hard, reminding himself that it all boiled down to the same thing. What had he been doing most of tonight if not moping over Chloe? She didn’t want him. She wanted Jimmy. He would be angry at that, if he didn’t kind of get the appeal. Wasn’t that half of what made Lana, at least the idea of Lana if not the reality, so tantalizing? Lana and Jimmy, they were normal. They were outside the secret world he and Chloe seemed to inhabit every night and most days. Maybe she wanted normal. Maybe she wanted Jimmy. Either way, she didn’t want him. She’d made that clear. Again.
He grumbled and reached for his phone. He just hoped it would turn on this time. It had powered down in the tunnels, barely even taking a charge after draining itself so heavily searching for a signal where there was none to be had. When It finally powered on, he saw another reason for the drainage: at least eleven voicemails. And all from one number. Chloe’s number.
He didn’t even want to listen, thinking they’d contain more explanations of that kiss that was never going to happen again. But they were all from earlier today. He picked the first.
Hi, Clark. Just making sure you got down there okay. I thought you might call me when you were in, but… Okay. Maybe you’re not in yet. Forget I left this.
Okay, so the word is there’s been a little explosion down there but, considering you’re… well, you, then I could just assume you’re okay, but since you’re not answering… Clark, just call me back. Please?
Alright. I’m basically assuming you’re not okay at this point, but Lana has these blueprints and, if I have to, I’m coming in after you. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. This jacket is new.
As he listened, he could feel something growing inside him, something like hope. By the time he got to the last one, there was something else: determination.
**************
He found her in The Planet’s basement, sitting at her desk and staring into a cup of coffee. “Hey, we have a situation,” he said, pulling her up without preamble.
“What? Where are we going?”
“Somewhere we can talk.” He found a supply closet and pulled her in after him. Actually, he wanted to sling her over his shoulder and speed back to the barn, but he wasn’t sure how she would react to him going that far, let alone what was about to happen.
“Is it the tunnels?” she asked breathlessly. “Did you go back and find something?”
“No, it’s this,” he said, shutting the door and pulling her against him, meeting her lips as she let out a muffled squeak. He kept a hand firmly at her back, but she wasn’t pulling away. In fact, she’d gone a bit limp. He angled his head to the side, pressing more firmly and wondering how long he could keep this up before she either pushed him away or wound her arms around his neck. Either way, he came here to do more than kiss, though kissing would be featured heavily, at least until they were even. After that… who knew? He gripped her arms and held her firmly away. “That’s for the records room,” he said levelly.
Her eyes fluttered open. “What?” she asked, looking dazed.
“Remember that time in sophomore year? In the hospital? You just grabbed me and kissed me.”
Her eyes cleared and she stepped away, backing toward the shelves of paper and staple boxes. “Well, that was only so…”
“No. I’m sure you had a reason. You always have a reason or an excuse. Well, so do I,” he said firmly. “And mine is making things fair.”
She squinted at him. “Well, you can’t just grab someone and…”
“Why not? You do it all the time.” He threw up his hands. “And the thing that’s really unfair about it is you’re always the one who gets to decide where it goes, which is always nowhere. Doesn’t even matter how I might feel.”
“Let me get this straight,” she took a deep breath, “are you trying to imply that I have somehow played with your feelings?”
“You keep kissing me and then acting like it didn’t happen.”
“I keep… That’s ridiculous!” Chloe scoffed. “Three times is not exactly…”
“Five after today. But it’s actually seven,” he said levelly, “but there was amnesia involved for a couple, so I’m going to let those two slide.”
“Well, how generous of you,” she sneered.
“How generous of you,” he threw back at her, “always deciding for the both of us.”
“Maybe I’m just saving you the trouble.”
“Maybe I don’t want to be saved. Here’s the thing…” He grabbed her again. This time, she did push against him, but seemed to decide pretty quickly that it wouldn’t do much good. She gripped his lapels instead, either holding herself up or holding him down to her. He really hoped it was the latter. The more he kissed Chloe, the more he wondered why he hadn’t been doing it all along. Every time she kissed him, he’d been so surprised it was even happening before it was over. Well, maybe not that time on the red K. But his memories of that were still a bit fuzzy. This was definitely bringing them back, especially when his tongue touched the seam of her lips and they opened on a little gasp.
He barely got to taste the coffee just inside her lips before she twisted her head away. “You need to stop doing that,” she said, pushing at his chest.
He let her go this time. “That’s for senior year,” he said firmly.
“Okay. I’m sensing a pattern here.” She shook her head. “Senior year? I didn’t…”
“Show up in my loft wearing my jersey and nothing else?”
“Okay, maybe I did, but that doesn’t count. I was drugged on meteorade.”
“I’m counting it,” he said with a shrug.
She stared at him mutinously. “If you’re going to delving into ancient history, then let’s go into your side of senior year. You’re the one who told me, pretty much the next day, that you don’t even find me attractive.”
“What? I never said…”
“Maybe not in so many words, but between the lines. You said, and I almost quote, ‘I don’t feel that way about you, at least not right now.’” She jabbed a finger at him. “And those stupid words and the ‘maybe someday’ of it all kept me hooked for the last two years, at least. But you are not doing this to me. Especially not now. I have other options, you know.”
His eyes narrowed. “You mean Jimmy?”
“Yes. He’s…”
“He’s wrong for you.”
“And who's to say that you're right for me?”
“I'm not even saying that I am, but we'll never know if we don't try. This question mark has been hanging over us since the beginning, since the first time you kissed me. Speaking of that...” He gripped her by the shoulders and, this time, she didn’t even try to pull away. She just stood there stiffly, lips closed tight, determined not to respond, which was no fun at all. He pulled away. “Eighth grade,” he said dully, stepping away.
“Where is this coming from?” she exploded. “Is this all because I kissed you?” She took a deep breath. “Okay. I get it. It’s just confused you. You’re vulnerable right now. I probably should have seen this coming.”
“What?”
She put up a hand. “This has been a tough year for you, Lana-wise, and it’s possible you are projecting some feelings onto me after that stupid kiss. And I understand that…”
“Now you’re deciding how I feel?”
“Clark, would we even be here if I hadn’t kissed you?”
“Probably not. But we are, so why can’t we just… be here? Why can’t we just see where this goes for once?”
“Because I know where this goes. It goes back to Lana.”
“Not this time.”
“Clark, up until this afternoon, were you or were you not still crazy in love with Lana?”
“I don’t think you can call it ‘in love.’ Not when you see it clearly. I feel like I have been spending so much of my life wanting her, but when I had her, it wasn't any better. Because it's always so crowded with all the things I can't say.” He moved closer. “I don't trust her to react the way you did. I don't see her as someone who can be by my side the way you can. Chloe, I don’t even know how I would have survived these last years without you. Whenever I feel like giving up, you’re the one who’s there, making me try harder, be better.”
Her eyes softened, just a little, and she opened her mouth.
“And what about you,” he went on quickly. Damn it, he was getting somewhere and he wasn’t going to let her derail it again. “Look at everything you’ve gone through this last month. Do you really want to be with someone you can’t share any of that with? Jesus, Chloe! I actually think he’s a nice kid. But, compared to us, compared to what we’ve been through, that’s just what he is. A kid.”
“Jimmy’s… He’s been through some things, too,” she said, rather weakly. “You know, I met him again on Dark Thursday and he looked pretty roughed up.”
“Yeah, we can’t forget Dark Thursday.” Clark moved to her, but she put a hand up.
“Clark, this isn’t fair.”
He moved closer, pressing his chest against her hand. “That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to fix,” he said softly. He leaned down as that hand curled into his flannel and slid to his neck. This time, her lips softened under his, opened slightly and he didn’t waste the opportunity, tasting her this time. She tasted like coffee with hazelnut creamer. When his arms slid up her back and his hands delved into her hair, she melted against him, both her arms looping around his neck as he gathered her closer, lifting her off the floor.
Her tongue met his tentatively, also briefly.
She twisted away. “Please don’t do this to me.”
Just like earlier, there was real pain in her eyes. He let her down.
“You know, maybe I have been kind of impulsive with the kisses from time to time,” she said, moving away as soon as her feet touched the floor, her face and neck red. “But that’s exactly what it is. It was impulsive. It wasn’t calculated. I don’t even know what to call this. It’s like you’re punishing me.”
“Is that it feels like to you?”
“Look, about Dark Thursday,” she said quickly. “I was afraid you were going to certain doom. Like I said…”
“Yeah. It was the end of the world and you weren’t expecting us to hook up,” he rattled off quickly, still hurt by her words. Punishing. “Did you write that one down, too?”
She glared at him. “It was the truth. I was done expecting anything from you by then, believe me.”
“And, just like now, it didn’t matter what I had to say about it.”
“You said ‘me neither.’”
“Only because you said it first. Then I didn’t get another word in, because you were standing there flirting with Jimmy!”
“What are you saying? That you were prepared to sweep me in your arms right then? Come on, Clark!”
“I don’t know what would have happened!” he burst out. “You shot me down! Just like you did after homecoming and just like you did today! You acted like it didn’t mean anything!”
“Because it didn’t! Today was just…. I don’t know. It was adrenaline, relief, and maybe some remnants of this whole confusing thing we used to have.”
“Used to. So you’re saying there’s nothing there now?”
She crossed her arms. “Not that I can see. No.”
“And what if I had proof, from your own lips?” He dug in his pocket.
“I think you and my lips are done for the day, thanks very…” She trailed off as her voice was replaced with her last voicemail.
Hey, Clark, it's me again. Where are you? I feel like your stalker ex-girlfriend, even though I was never your girlfriend. It was just an analogy -- a bad one. I'm sorry. This is awkward. Okay, call me. Bye.
Clark gestured to her. “Explain that.”
“Explain what?” Chloe scoffed loudly. “What does that prove?”
“Well… you said you felt like my stalker ex-girlfriend.”
“As a joke. I also said I was never your girlfriend. If anything, this is… well… whatever the opposite of proof is.”
“It wasn’t what you said. It was the way you said it.”
“Okay. You’ve made all your little arguments. Whatever this is,” she said, gesturing vaguely between them, “it’s done because…”
“It’s not done. I don’t think it’ll ever be done between us, Chloe.”
“There is nothing between us.”
“So you have no feelings for me?”
“Clark, there’s no point in…”
“Do you still have feelings for me?”
“We have so many more important things to focus on.”
“It’s a simple question, Chloe. It’s a yes or a no.”
She stared at him, then away. “Look, it’s been a long day and I’m sure you’re exhausted after the green…”
“Just say no.”
“Clark, will you just step back and look at this objectively? Everything was fine up till now. It still could be. But you’re taking this stupid, little, inconsequential kiss and turning it into something…”
“Possible? Real?” He stepped closer. “You still haven’t said no.”
“I’m getting there.” She lifted her eyes to his. “Look at everything we’ve done together, the difference we’ve made, the lives we’ve saved. Do you really want to risk that?”
He shook his head. “Do you really think that, if this didn’t work, that we’d stop doing any of that? Chloe, that’s not who we are.”
She stared at him, taking in a shaky breath. “Maybe that’s not a chance I’m willing to take.”
He stared at her, then nodded. “I guess that’s as good as a no.” He moved past her to the door, then stilled with his hand on the knob. “I’d say I’m sorry I asked, but I’m not. I mean, now I know for sure.”
She let out a watery laugh behind him. “How is that for sure?” He turned to find her swiping at her eyes. “I mean I said ‘maybe it’s not a chance…’” She shrugged and sniffled. “But if you’re going to give up that easily, then…”
“You’re killing me,” he groaned, moving to her quickly, crushing her lips to his. She pushed at him only to pull in a gasping breath before kissing him back hard. He lifted her against him, holding her there as he smiled against her lips. “By the way, that was for today. Now we’re even.”
She pulled back, her arms still looped around his neck and her feet still dangling off the floor. “Didn’t you mention two more?”
“Well, you don’t remember them.”
“Yes, and you never saw fit to tell me, but we’ll talk about that later.” She sighed and played with his collar. “But the fact is you do remember them, so I’ll always feel kind of cheated. I’m not sure how to even up the injustice of it all.”
He huffed out a laugh and held her tighter. “So I should probably just keep kissing you indefinitely.”
“It’s only fair,” she said, grinning against his lips.
THE END
My first story below an R. I didn’t know I had it in me!
Requester: Bkwurm1
The prompt: “Chloe/Clark, Set during season 6, at the end of Nemesis when Lex and Clark emerge from the collapsed tunnel, Chloe doesn't know what comes over her, but it's Dark Thursday all over again - though this time, she can't blame it on the world almost ending.”
Title of the work: It’s Only Fair
Pairing: Chlark
Type of fill: Fic
Rating: PG-13 (that’s new for me)
Length: 5,273
Notes: An alternate ending to “Nemesis.” For the purposes of this fic, I’m going to ignore that Chloe/Jimmy are back together after their first break-up (of many) because… I mean. it’s hard to help dealing with Lana in this. I just don’t want to deal too much with Jimmy, too. *whine, wobbly lip, doe eyes*
Summary: Chloe plants a kiss on Clark… again. This time, he’s not letting her off so easy.
Clark stared up at the clouds, not even hearing the explosion as much as feeling it beneath him and wondering if he was staring up at the heavens in a way that was permanent. If it was heaven, maybe he’d earned it after being trapped in a sort of powerless purgatory with the man who was once his best friend. Lex was now his worst enemy. And why?
The answer, as always, was Lana. Lana had been the answer to everything since he could remember looking for answers, for goals, for reasons to do anything, be anything, put on a clean shirt and comb his hair.
Lex had her now, even in the eyes of the law. And that couldn’t be forgiven, except…
Did you really think I was gonna let you die alone down here, Clark? Guess you never knew me at all.
He blinked up at the sky. He wasn’t dying. He was healing even now. And that was due, in large part, to Lex coming back for him. He pushed himself up as he felt his strength returning, his wounds closing where the late afternoon sun touched them, started to look to his side, now worried that Lex hadn’t somehow made it out. But he saw him through the smoke. A paramedic moved to him and Clark pointed him to his right silently, hoping he’d move on to Lex instead. He turned away only to find Lana staring at him.
She moved to him quickly, her hand going to the bandage on his arm, now doing nothing but sit there constricting him. He gripped her hand, ready to push it away. It belonged to Lex, after all. She’d married him. But he gripped it selfishly for just a second. It was hard to accept, after all, having wanted her for so long, but she was no longer his and hadn’t been for some time.
Her hand slipped out of his and he almost didn’t need to turn to see why.
Lex.
Lex had saved him down there. Before Clark had used what was left of his strength to hoist them both out of that hatch, Lex had come back for him, trapped and weakened as he’d been. They’d never have gotten out if not for that.
He stared at the two of them, thinking maybe Lex deserved this, a hero’s welcome and a woman’s embrace. She’d married him. Maybe he was kidding himself that there was anything more to it.
Lex’s eyes met his and he turned sharply away, figuring he’d have to find a way to get past the police and paramedics and Chloe… Chloe?
She was striding toward him through the wind and smoke, her brows drawn together, her hair mussed in the wind, and her eyes intent upon his. She probably had all kinds of questions about what went on down there and he strode to her, ready to tell her that they could wait till later when she flew at him, one hand gripping his shoulder and the other curling around his neck until he found his lips against hers.
This wasn’t the first time this had happened and, like that other time, he wondered how someone so small could so easily pull him down. Then again, like last time, it wasn’t like he was putting up a fight.
Her lips clung to his as her hands moved, one slipping into his hair while the other almost surreptitiously crept under his bandage. She pulled away. “You’re not hurt, right?” She ripped at the fabric, stared at his bloodied, but unmarred arm, then her eyes moved to his lips again before she met them again.
“No,” he blearily heard them say, muffled against hers. Then he started to wonder why the hell he was even trying to talk when her lips moved, then opened.
He was supposed to be doing something, wasn’t he? He’d had some vague ideas about speeding away before the paramedics could discover he was perfectly fine a few moments before, but now there was something more important. That hero’s welcome. Didn’t he deserve this after this hellish day?
They’d been here before and he hadn’t had time to do more than stand there and be kissed.
Not this time.
He moved his hands to her sides and then downward, stopping at her hips, shaking just a little as he slipped them around to her back, barely even getting to consider where they might go next before her tongue slid between his lips and robbed him of all free will. He gripped her waistband, feeling a belt loop snap in his hands as she pressed against his chest… and not in the good way.
Suddenly, her lips were gone. So was the rest of her.
“You’re okay. That’s all I wanted to…” She stumbled backwards.
He failed to catch her, considering most of him was still stuck in that kiss.
Luckily, she caught herself, still walking backward. “So I have, you know, work to do. Like professionally and everything. Okay?”
He found himself nodding.
“Okay, then.” She pointed at him sharply. “You’re okay and that was just… all that was for and… and about.”
“But…”
“We’ll talk later,” she yelled over her shoulder as she ran back to that plain police car.
He turned around, dazed, then caught sight of Lex and Lana, staring at him, their expressions as dumbfounded as his must be.
*******
He wasn’t sure what he was doing, returning to the scene two hours later.
He’d gone home, showered off the dirt, the blood, that kiss… Well, as much as anyone could. He should be grateful no one was looking for that guy with no injuries. So why was he back here again, tempting them to remember? There were still police scattered around.
Maybe he was just hoping to get it all straight, the sequence of events. Sometimes he thought every moment since he emerged from those tunnels was some kind of fever dream. First Lana, slipping out of fingers, then Chloe, slipping into them… Her hands grasping him, her lips…
It had been over so quickly, he almost thought he’d imagined it. But he hadn’t… had he?
He saw her now, some yards away, eyes on a blueprint, pacing among the last of the police cars. She’d hightailed it out of there so quickly before, he’d barely had time to say a word, once his lips had been freed, that is. He’d say something now, damn it.
“Chloe!”
She turned to him and, for half a second, he wondered if it would happen again. If she’d just run at him, grab him, pull him down and…
Chloe quickly turned away, striding ahead and pacing the dirty path with one eye on her blueprints and the other eye on some sort of blank space ahead. Neither of those eyes on him. Maybe that was just as well.
“I've X-rayed these tunnels over a dozen times,” he said, catching up to her. “They all just seem to lead to Reeves Dam.” So maybe they could talk about something besides Lex, just considering…
“Maybe so, but if Lex was willing to go up against Tomb Raider for them, I can't retire my reporter's notebook just yet.”
Or not.
Clark fell into step with her, knowing there were bigger things going on, almost ashamed at his single-mindedness, coming back out here for something as silly as a kiss that she was obviously not going to repeat or even talk about. It’s not like he hadn’t been here before. He’d once spent a significant amount of time trapped in another dimension without much more than the thought of a kiss from Chloe Sullivan to keep him going only to find, on returning, that it was just no big deal to her. Maybe this was the same.
“I still don't understand how you thought to come out here. Lex said no one knew about those tunnels, not even…”
“Lana?” Chloe cut in, stopping.
Clark stopped, too. “She led search and rescue out here?”
Chloe silently confirmed.
“I guess I had it all wrong. This whole time, I thought that Lex had forced her into that marriage, but now I don't think he did.” And maybe it was time to accept that. He’d already kidnapped her from her engagement party, then practically from her wedding. Neither had changed anything. From Lex’s point of view, maybe it was Clark who was the ******* here.
“Don't give up on your hunch just yet, Clark,” Chloe said, cutting into his thoughts. “Lana knew about the other entrance to those tunnels the whole time, and it wasn't until she heard you were down there that she magically produced them.”
Clark frowned. “Lana was gonna let Lex die down there?”
“I think the Luthor mansion has a lot more secrets than we realize.”
“Well, maybe we should let them stay there. I mean, Lana would have let Lex die,” he repeated. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“I was only saying that maybe it wasn’t Lex she wanted to save.”
“I get that, but what am I supposed to do with that? Like I have some kind of shot here? I didn’t exactly want to go out of my way to save Lex, but I went down there. You said it yourself. I don’t get to choose who I save. You helped me save him, even after all he did to you. Am I supposed to give Lana a pass on that?”
Chloe sighed. “I don’t know what I’m saying. Maybe I just want you to feel better.”
“Is that what that kiss was about?”
Chloe fumbled her blueprint open. “You know, if we look more closely, I wonder if these tunnels have some special features. I mean, I hate to have this day be all pain and no gain.”
Clark stared at her. “So we’re not going to talk about it?”
“Is there a reason to?” She said, smiling blandly. “I mean, that was just me.” She smiled wider. “You know me.” She laughed. “World’s ending, grab a guy…”
“And how was that the world ending?”
“It wasn’t,” she said, still blandly, still smiling. “Look, I was just… overcome with relief.”
“But you’ve…”
“Obviously, planting one on you was a major overreaction. But, you know, I’ve done this before.”
“That’s kind of what I was going to say.”
“I know. It’s like this pattern with me. I’m sorry it makes you so uncomfortable.”
“I never said…”
“It actually has nothing to do with you.” She stared at her blueprints again. “Just me and… adrenaline and… and this thing we used to have.”
“Used to…”
“It’s actually funny, when you think about it. But it’s just a blip. It’s not like I’m trying to go anywhere. As you know, Jimmy and I are considering a reconnection and I’m very excited about it,” she said, eyes still glued to those blueprints. “So I think it’s best we just forget this happened.” She looked up and smiled.
He didn’t. He was staring at those blue prints and a few familiar words scrawled in the corner. “Is this a speech? I mean, did you write that down?”
Her eyes widened and she quickly started to close them, but he grabbed them before she could, scanning the untidy scrawl in the corner. Just a blip… obvious pattern… nothing to do with you…
She snatched them back, lips tight. “Okay. It’s getting dark. I think I need to look these over back at The Planet.”
“Chloe…”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she cut in, staring down as she folded them again. “It happened. It was stupid. Just because I wrote a few notes doesn’t mean…” She met his eyes. “Can you please just let it go?”
Clark stepped back, seeing the naked pain in her eyes. “Is that what you want?”
She stared at him for a long moment before speaking. “That’s what I want.”
He stepped back further, nodding. “I should get home.”
She nodded as well. “Like I said, I should get back to The Planet and look at these under some actual light.” She forced a smile and moved away.
He started away as well, a bit dazed. Why had he come here, anyway? To get shot down again?
“Clark?”
He turned back, saw her stopped at her car. “I promise it won’t happen again.”
************
I promise it won’t happen again.
He threw a tennis ball at his ceiling, catching it over and over as the words repeated in his head. He should be relieved. Every time Chloe did this, she managed to take it back, practically in the next moment.
When she said it was a pattern with her, speech or not, she was right. She was always there, like some road not traveled, and every time he thought about what it would be like to explore that road, there she was, saying they were better as friends, that she wasn’t expecting them to hook up, that it was just a blip, that it wouldn’t happen again…
He caught the ball and sat up, still bothered by that more than anything. This thing between him and Chloe, whatever either of them might call it, the one thing it wasn’t was finished. For her to just make that decision, not even giving him a vote or even the chance to talk about it, made him feel cheated. Then again, hadn’t she done that before? Pretty much every other time? He just had to sit there, getting kissed, then getting brushed off almost immediately after.
Damn it, maybe it was for the best if it didn’t happen again. She was almost more confusing than Lana. Scratch that. No one would ever be as confusing as Lana, dangling herself in front of him while dating Lex, engaged to Lex, now married to Lex. He was finished taking the bait. Right now, that bait didn’t even seem very tempting. Lana would have let Lex die down there, he reminded himself. It bothered him, made him wonder who he’d been chasing all these years. Deep down, he was always thought, on an ethical level, that he and Lana were alike.
He tossed the ball away, towards the wide window. He barely knew how far. Maybe he’d never find it again. Maybe that was for the best, too. He was sick of that ball. He was sick of this year, sick of himself, sitting here and brooding alone… Well, except for when Chloe was here trying to cheer him out of it. When he wasn’t brooding, he was wearing himself out, chasing after Lex’s suspicious doings or whatever else was terrorizing the tri-state area, always feeling like he alone could do every damned thing… Well, with Chloe always burning the midnight oil beside him or pushing him to stop moping and do something!
He stood, then, the realization hitting him with a resounding beep. He frowned and looked around. It was actually his phone that beeped. But the realization was still there. Why was he sitting around, moping over a girl who made him miserable when he could be moping over a girl who made him… well, better?
He sat down hard, reminding himself that it all boiled down to the same thing. What had he been doing most of tonight if not moping over Chloe? She didn’t want him. She wanted Jimmy. He would be angry at that, if he didn’t kind of get the appeal. Wasn’t that half of what made Lana, at least the idea of Lana if not the reality, so tantalizing? Lana and Jimmy, they were normal. They were outside the secret world he and Chloe seemed to inhabit every night and most days. Maybe she wanted normal. Maybe she wanted Jimmy. Either way, she didn’t want him. She’d made that clear. Again.
He grumbled and reached for his phone. He just hoped it would turn on this time. It had powered down in the tunnels, barely even taking a charge after draining itself so heavily searching for a signal where there was none to be had. When It finally powered on, he saw another reason for the drainage: at least eleven voicemails. And all from one number. Chloe’s number.
He didn’t even want to listen, thinking they’d contain more explanations of that kiss that was never going to happen again. But they were all from earlier today. He picked the first.
Hi, Clark. Just making sure you got down there okay. I thought you might call me when you were in, but… Okay. Maybe you’re not in yet. Forget I left this.
Okay, so the word is there’s been a little explosion down there but, considering you’re… well, you, then I could just assume you’re okay, but since you’re not answering… Clark, just call me back. Please?
Alright. I’m basically assuming you’re not okay at this point, but Lana has these blueprints and, if I have to, I’m coming in after you. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. This jacket is new.
As he listened, he could feel something growing inside him, something like hope. By the time he got to the last one, there was something else: determination.
**************
He found her in The Planet’s basement, sitting at her desk and staring into a cup of coffee. “Hey, we have a situation,” he said, pulling her up without preamble.
“What? Where are we going?”
“Somewhere we can talk.” He found a supply closet and pulled her in after him. Actually, he wanted to sling her over his shoulder and speed back to the barn, but he wasn’t sure how she would react to him going that far, let alone what was about to happen.
“Is it the tunnels?” she asked breathlessly. “Did you go back and find something?”
“No, it’s this,” he said, shutting the door and pulling her against him, meeting her lips as she let out a muffled squeak. He kept a hand firmly at her back, but she wasn’t pulling away. In fact, she’d gone a bit limp. He angled his head to the side, pressing more firmly and wondering how long he could keep this up before she either pushed him away or wound her arms around his neck. Either way, he came here to do more than kiss, though kissing would be featured heavily, at least until they were even. After that… who knew? He gripped her arms and held her firmly away. “That’s for the records room,” he said levelly.
Her eyes fluttered open. “What?” she asked, looking dazed.
“Remember that time in sophomore year? In the hospital? You just grabbed me and kissed me.”
Her eyes cleared and she stepped away, backing toward the shelves of paper and staple boxes. “Well, that was only so…”
“No. I’m sure you had a reason. You always have a reason or an excuse. Well, so do I,” he said firmly. “And mine is making things fair.”
She squinted at him. “Well, you can’t just grab someone and…”
“Why not? You do it all the time.” He threw up his hands. “And the thing that’s really unfair about it is you’re always the one who gets to decide where it goes, which is always nowhere. Doesn’t even matter how I might feel.”
“Let me get this straight,” she took a deep breath, “are you trying to imply that I have somehow played with your feelings?”
“You keep kissing me and then acting like it didn’t happen.”
“I keep… That’s ridiculous!” Chloe scoffed. “Three times is not exactly…”
“Five after today. But it’s actually seven,” he said levelly, “but there was amnesia involved for a couple, so I’m going to let those two slide.”
“Well, how generous of you,” she sneered.
“How generous of you,” he threw back at her, “always deciding for the both of us.”
“Maybe I’m just saving you the trouble.”
“Maybe I don’t want to be saved. Here’s the thing…” He grabbed her again. This time, she did push against him, but seemed to decide pretty quickly that it wouldn’t do much good. She gripped his lapels instead, either holding herself up or holding him down to her. He really hoped it was the latter. The more he kissed Chloe, the more he wondered why he hadn’t been doing it all along. Every time she kissed him, he’d been so surprised it was even happening before it was over. Well, maybe not that time on the red K. But his memories of that were still a bit fuzzy. This was definitely bringing them back, especially when his tongue touched the seam of her lips and they opened on a little gasp.
He barely got to taste the coffee just inside her lips before she twisted her head away. “You need to stop doing that,” she said, pushing at his chest.
He let her go this time. “That’s for senior year,” he said firmly.
“Okay. I’m sensing a pattern here.” She shook her head. “Senior year? I didn’t…”
“Show up in my loft wearing my jersey and nothing else?”
“Okay, maybe I did, but that doesn’t count. I was drugged on meteorade.”
“I’m counting it,” he said with a shrug.
She stared at him mutinously. “If you’re going to delving into ancient history, then let’s go into your side of senior year. You’re the one who told me, pretty much the next day, that you don’t even find me attractive.”
“What? I never said…”
“Maybe not in so many words, but between the lines. You said, and I almost quote, ‘I don’t feel that way about you, at least not right now.’” She jabbed a finger at him. “And those stupid words and the ‘maybe someday’ of it all kept me hooked for the last two years, at least. But you are not doing this to me. Especially not now. I have other options, you know.”
His eyes narrowed. “You mean Jimmy?”
“Yes. He’s…”
“He’s wrong for you.”
“And who's to say that you're right for me?”
“I'm not even saying that I am, but we'll never know if we don't try. This question mark has been hanging over us since the beginning, since the first time you kissed me. Speaking of that...” He gripped her by the shoulders and, this time, she didn’t even try to pull away. She just stood there stiffly, lips closed tight, determined not to respond, which was no fun at all. He pulled away. “Eighth grade,” he said dully, stepping away.
“Where is this coming from?” she exploded. “Is this all because I kissed you?” She took a deep breath. “Okay. I get it. It’s just confused you. You’re vulnerable right now. I probably should have seen this coming.”
“What?”
She put up a hand. “This has been a tough year for you, Lana-wise, and it’s possible you are projecting some feelings onto me after that stupid kiss. And I understand that…”
“Now you’re deciding how I feel?”
“Clark, would we even be here if I hadn’t kissed you?”
“Probably not. But we are, so why can’t we just… be here? Why can’t we just see where this goes for once?”
“Because I know where this goes. It goes back to Lana.”
“Not this time.”
“Clark, up until this afternoon, were you or were you not still crazy in love with Lana?”
“I don’t think you can call it ‘in love.’ Not when you see it clearly. I feel like I have been spending so much of my life wanting her, but when I had her, it wasn't any better. Because it's always so crowded with all the things I can't say.” He moved closer. “I don't trust her to react the way you did. I don't see her as someone who can be by my side the way you can. Chloe, I don’t even know how I would have survived these last years without you. Whenever I feel like giving up, you’re the one who’s there, making me try harder, be better.”
Her eyes softened, just a little, and she opened her mouth.
“And what about you,” he went on quickly. Damn it, he was getting somewhere and he wasn’t going to let her derail it again. “Look at everything you’ve gone through this last month. Do you really want to be with someone you can’t share any of that with? Jesus, Chloe! I actually think he’s a nice kid. But, compared to us, compared to what we’ve been through, that’s just what he is. A kid.”
“Jimmy’s… He’s been through some things, too,” she said, rather weakly. “You know, I met him again on Dark Thursday and he looked pretty roughed up.”
“Yeah, we can’t forget Dark Thursday.” Clark moved to her, but she put a hand up.
“Clark, this isn’t fair.”
He moved closer, pressing his chest against her hand. “That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to fix,” he said softly. He leaned down as that hand curled into his flannel and slid to his neck. This time, her lips softened under his, opened slightly and he didn’t waste the opportunity, tasting her this time. She tasted like coffee with hazelnut creamer. When his arms slid up her back and his hands delved into her hair, she melted against him, both her arms looping around his neck as he gathered her closer, lifting her off the floor.
Her tongue met his tentatively, also briefly.
She twisted away. “Please don’t do this to me.”
Just like earlier, there was real pain in her eyes. He let her down.
“You know, maybe I have been kind of impulsive with the kisses from time to time,” she said, moving away as soon as her feet touched the floor, her face and neck red. “But that’s exactly what it is. It was impulsive. It wasn’t calculated. I don’t even know what to call this. It’s like you’re punishing me.”
“Is that it feels like to you?”
“Look, about Dark Thursday,” she said quickly. “I was afraid you were going to certain doom. Like I said…”
“Yeah. It was the end of the world and you weren’t expecting us to hook up,” he rattled off quickly, still hurt by her words. Punishing. “Did you write that one down, too?”
She glared at him. “It was the truth. I was done expecting anything from you by then, believe me.”
“And, just like now, it didn’t matter what I had to say about it.”
“You said ‘me neither.’”
“Only because you said it first. Then I didn’t get another word in, because you were standing there flirting with Jimmy!”
“What are you saying? That you were prepared to sweep me in your arms right then? Come on, Clark!”
“I don’t know what would have happened!” he burst out. “You shot me down! Just like you did after homecoming and just like you did today! You acted like it didn’t mean anything!”
“Because it didn’t! Today was just…. I don’t know. It was adrenaline, relief, and maybe some remnants of this whole confusing thing we used to have.”
“Used to. So you’re saying there’s nothing there now?”
She crossed her arms. “Not that I can see. No.”
“And what if I had proof, from your own lips?” He dug in his pocket.
“I think you and my lips are done for the day, thanks very…” She trailed off as her voice was replaced with her last voicemail.
Hey, Clark, it's me again. Where are you? I feel like your stalker ex-girlfriend, even though I was never your girlfriend. It was just an analogy -- a bad one. I'm sorry. This is awkward. Okay, call me. Bye.
Clark gestured to her. “Explain that.”
“Explain what?” Chloe scoffed loudly. “What does that prove?”
“Well… you said you felt like my stalker ex-girlfriend.”
“As a joke. I also said I was never your girlfriend. If anything, this is… well… whatever the opposite of proof is.”
“It wasn’t what you said. It was the way you said it.”
“Okay. You’ve made all your little arguments. Whatever this is,” she said, gesturing vaguely between them, “it’s done because…”
“It’s not done. I don’t think it’ll ever be done between us, Chloe.”
“There is nothing between us.”
“So you have no feelings for me?”
“Clark, there’s no point in…”
“Do you still have feelings for me?”
“We have so many more important things to focus on.”
“It’s a simple question, Chloe. It’s a yes or a no.”
She stared at him, then away. “Look, it’s been a long day and I’m sure you’re exhausted after the green…”
“Just say no.”
“Clark, will you just step back and look at this objectively? Everything was fine up till now. It still could be. But you’re taking this stupid, little, inconsequential kiss and turning it into something…”
“Possible? Real?” He stepped closer. “You still haven’t said no.”
“I’m getting there.” She lifted her eyes to his. “Look at everything we’ve done together, the difference we’ve made, the lives we’ve saved. Do you really want to risk that?”
He shook his head. “Do you really think that, if this didn’t work, that we’d stop doing any of that? Chloe, that’s not who we are.”
She stared at him, taking in a shaky breath. “Maybe that’s not a chance I’m willing to take.”
He stared at her, then nodded. “I guess that’s as good as a no.” He moved past her to the door, then stilled with his hand on the knob. “I’d say I’m sorry I asked, but I’m not. I mean, now I know for sure.”
She let out a watery laugh behind him. “How is that for sure?” He turned to find her swiping at her eyes. “I mean I said ‘maybe it’s not a chance…’” She shrugged and sniffled. “But if you’re going to give up that easily, then…”
“You’re killing me,” he groaned, moving to her quickly, crushing her lips to his. She pushed at him only to pull in a gasping breath before kissing him back hard. He lifted her against him, holding her there as he smiled against her lips. “By the way, that was for today. Now we’re even.”
She pulled back, her arms still looped around his neck and her feet still dangling off the floor. “Didn’t you mention two more?”
“Well, you don’t remember them.”
“Yes, and you never saw fit to tell me, but we’ll talk about that later.” She sighed and played with his collar. “But the fact is you do remember them, so I’ll always feel kind of cheated. I’m not sure how to even up the injustice of it all.”
He huffed out a laugh and held her tighter. “So I should probably just keep kissing you indefinitely.”
“It’s only fair,” she said, grinning against his lips.
THE END
My first story below an R. I didn’t know I had it in me!
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