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Lois' Lana-esque reaction to Clark not telling her about Oliver

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  • #61
    Originally posted by Ella
    This situation hit real close to home for me. And I can say that it’s not about who is wrong or right it’s just about two people being in the middle of a terrible situation. Two years ago my best friend, Adrian, committed suicide. His sister Beth, also a close friend of mine, had actually heard Adrian say he would kill himself on two different occasions. She didn’t tell anyone. She didn’t tell her parents. She didn’t tell me. A few days after the funeral she mentioned it to me. It was weighing heavily on her mind. I reacted very much like Lois did, and actually quite worse. I was very upset. On the one hand I knew this may be something that could be seen as a personal matter (maybe even a family matter) but on the other hand, I was best friends with Adrian since the second grade. I felt like his family. And even if I wasn’t his family or his best friend, suicide isn’t something you keep a secret. Eventually we reconciled. No one was wrong, I ended up realizing. She didn’t keep this a secret because she wanted to hurt Adrian. She just didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to take something like that. So I understand Clark just like I understood my friend. But I also understand Lois. This is someone she cares about who is in so much pain that he tried to kill himself. When she asks Clark if he knows if something is wrong and he lies to her, she has a right to be upset. It’s an upsetting situation for all parties. Lois wasn’t right. Lois wasn’t wrong. She was just human in that scene.
    I have to say that what you wrote Ella I very much understand and feel where you are coming from. Thoughts of suicide and/or suicide attempts are definitely not something that should be a secret. It is a very delicate matter that most people have no clue how to respond. It has such a stigma in society and there is no real knowledge on how to respond when someone is feeling that way. I also lost my uncle to suicide. Because of this, I took suicide prevention training. One of the things I learned is this is not a secret to be kept. This is something that needs attention immediately. They taught me that no matter what context the person has said it, it should be addressed directly.

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    • #62
      Originally posted by Dyanara
      Uh yeah right that is a clear stretch. Everyone knew going into this season that Oliver would attempt suidice and this was the way they did it. Oliver did not step off that platform to save some imaginary person who might be outside the door. He clearly stated that he knew Clark would survive the blast. He took into account that no1 was there to get hurt and he decided to take that moment to kill himself and end his pain and what he thought was a downward spiral. If he was jsut trying to sacrifice himself he wouldnt have been so disappointed that the bomb was fake.
      I just don't believe it. The writing is very inconsistent. The writers have been unable to persuade me that Oliver was on a suicidal kick. He never tried to specifically kill himself before or after that scene. He lived recklessly, yes...but he never did anything that drastic before or after that 1 scene in Echo. So I'm just not convinced.

      Comment


      • #63
        Originally posted by Ella
        This situation hit real close to home for me. And I can say that it’s not about who is wrong or right it’s just about two people being in the middle of a terrible situation. Two years ago my best friend, Adrian, committed suicide. His sister Beth, also a close friend of mine, had actually heard Adrian say he would kill himself on two different occasions. She didn’t tell anyone. She didn’t tell her parents. She didn’t tell me. A few days after the funeral she mentioned it to me. It was weighing heavily on her mind. I reacted very much like Lois did, and actually quite worse. I was very upset. On the one hand I knew this may be something that could be seen as a personal matter (maybe even a family matter) but on the other hand, I was best friends with Adrian since the second grade. I felt like his family. And even if I wasn’t his family or his best friend, suicide isn’t something you keep a secret. Eventually we reconciled. No one was wrong, I ended up realizing. She didn’t keep this a secret because she wanted to hurt Adrian. She just didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to take something like that. So I understand Clark just like I understood my friend. But I also understand Lois. This is someone she cares about who is in so much pain that he tried to kill himself. When she asks Clark if he knows if something is wrong and he lies to her, she has a right to be upset. It’s an upsetting situation for all parties. Lois wasn’t right. Lois wasn’t wrong. She was just human in that scene.

        ----- Added 1 Minutes later -----


        Oh geez, let's not muddle things up here.

        Lois falling into that dangerous game tonight has NOTHING to do with Clark keeping Oliver's attempted suicide a secret. Lois was put in danger tonight because Chloe decided to treat the people around her like pawns in order to get Oliver back into the hero track.
        This only post here that make any realistic connection. I don't care want anyone else has to post hereafter, this is the most relevant. Nice post

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        • #64
          Originally posted by xrayvision
          If I was in Oliver's shoes, I wouldn't want anyone to know. And it wasn't really suicide. Would he have stepped off the platform if those people were still there? No. He didn't know what the Toyman was planning and stepped off when he got the opportunity that everyone else was gone. It was messed up, but in a way was also heroic.
          Uh...it would have still been SUICIDE. Just not HOMICIDE. He was stepping off when he knew it would kill him. Suicide. Instead of waiting for Clark or the bomb squad or anything else. He stepped off KNOWING and INTENDING to kill himself.

          That's, as far as I can tell, pretty much the definition of attempted suicide.

          Comment


          • #65
            So let me get this right people are upset that lois was lied too? Uhhm how many times has lois lied about something? (i guess it's cute when she does it so it doesn't count!)

            when did it become lois "right" to know anything about someone else business? I don't care what the situation( apparently, the situations justifies it for some!), the point is if Oliver wanted to tell "queen" lois he would have! guess what he didn't so conclusion none of her da$% Business!

            If she's mad about Oliver! wait tell she finds out about clark and you know what? if clark said "i didn't wanna tell you because it's none of your snoopy...i'm entitled cause i'm lois business, he is well within his right!

            Comment


            • #66
              Originally posted by xrayvision
              I just don't believe it. The writing is very inconsistent. The writers have been unable to persuade me that Oliver was on a suicidal kick. He never tried to specifically kill himself before or after that scene. He lived recklessly, yes...but he never did anything that drastic before or after that 1 scene in Echo. So I'm just not convinced.
              He's been popping pills, drinking and having sex with strangers since the begining of the season. Not only that but he purposley picked a fight with those guys in the bar, and he was part of an underground fight club where they beat the crap out of him on a regular basis. He was fighting drunk for goodness sakes. I'm sorry I can't sign off on this man he was on a serious suicidal spiral since the end of season 8.

              Comment


              • #67
                I think lois is right at being angry. But i also can see why clark didn't tell her.

                Comment


                • #68
                  Im watching Grey's Anatomy right now where Meredith Grey decides at the spur of the moment to just give up on life. She was accidentally pushed into the water but she made the conscious decision to stop swimming and let herself sink. Even the bathtub scene earlier in the ep doesnt compare to how Oliver was acting before hand. He wasnt putting bullets in his head, but the bar scene in Mexico yells, I want to die! So yes he did not take the usual normal steps into suicide, but it still was suicide. That whole monologue toyman wrote up was like a twisted version of a suicide letter. So in the end when Oliver recognized that everyone was out and the only people left were the industructable Clark and Toyman he decided to end his life. Why worry abotu someone walking in the door when all he had to do was wait for Clark to turn around, run to save him and get him and if need be the others out of there.

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    Originally posted by Ella
                    This situation hit real close to home for me. And I can say that it’s not about who is wrong or right it’s just about two people being in the middle of a terrible situation. Two years ago my best friend, Adrian, committed suicide. His sister Beth, also a close friend of mine, had actually heard Adrian say he would kill himself on two different occasions. She didn’t tell anyone. She didn’t tell her parents. She didn’t tell me. A few days after the funeral she mentioned it to me. It was weighing heavily on her mind. I reacted very much like Lois did, and actually quite worse. I was very upset. On the one hand I knew this may be something that could be seen as a personal matter (maybe even a family matter) but on the other hand, I was best friends with Adrian since the second grade. I felt like his family. And even if I wasn’t his family or his best friend, suicide isn’t something you keep a secret. Eventually we reconciled. No one was wrong, I ended up realizing. She didn’t keep this a secret because she wanted to hurt Adrian. She just didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to take something like that. So I understand Clark just like I understood my friend. But I also understand Lois. This is someone she cares about who is in so much pain that he tried to kill himself. When she asks Clark if he knows if something is wrong and he lies to her, she has a right to be upset. It’s an upsetting situation for all parties. Lois wasn’t right. Lois wasn’t wrong. She was just human in that scene.

                    ----- Added 1 Minutes later -----


                    Oh geez, let's not muddle things up here.

                    Lois falling into that dangerous game tonight has NOTHING to do with Clark keeping Oliver's attempted suicide a secret. Lois was put in danger tonight because Chloe decided to treat the people around her like pawns in order to get Oliver back into the hero track.
                    Twenty years ago my father commited suicide.If any of his friends and family had known,perhaps it could have been prevented. Those left behind feel guilt and pain thinking perhaps they should have seen the signs. Suicides often leave clues for others to pick up on and help.Oliver had certainly hinted enough about his mental state.
                    I feel Lois anger was justified. Sometimes even just some positive words from some one close can diffuse a deadly situation.Thats one secret that should NOT be kept.

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      So let me get this right people are upset that lois was lied too?
                      Nope, that's not what people are saying.

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        Originally posted by LadyH
                        Ok. Are you talking about the part where Lana was angry with Clark for not siding with Whitney? I don't remember the episode very well.

                        The thing is, Clark saw how upset, nervous and worried Lois was about Oliver, so Lois' reaction was understandable to me. Clark seem to be afraid of her reaction when he realized she was going to find out, and that, IMO, shows that he knew she was right in being angry.

                        Suicide is very serious, so I also understand and agree with Lois on this one.
                        Yes, I was referring to the situation with Kyle being attacked by Whitney & Lana wanting Clark to defend Whitney.

                        The problem is, I'm not convinced this is a true case of suicide. Oliver never before or after did anything as drastic that would end his life in a moment. He lived recklessly, which Lois knew about before Clark. Oliver in Roulette acted like he did in Rabid (taking pills, chasing women) & most of Echo (drinking booze, chasing women). He would not have been in that situation had Toyman brought it to him. And he had plenty of chances since then to kill himself all on his own, but didn't.

                        Oliver didn't value his life, but Lois knew how he was acting. If she was so worried, why didn't she stick by him back in Rabid after seeing him be the mess that he was. She knew he was enrolling himself in fight clubs and wasn't himself. The mess he was in Rabid suggested that he was on something. Lois walked out on Ollie in Savior to search for the Blur. So the writers neither convincd me that Oliver was in a true 24/7 suicidal mode nor did they convince me that Lois & Oliver were that good friends since she would have intervened long before had that been true.

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Originally posted by keddy22
                          I have to say that what you wrote Ella I very much understand and feel where you are coming from. Thoughts of suicide and/or suicide attempts are definitely not something that should be a secret. It is a very delicate matter that most people have no clue how to respond. It has such a stigma in society and there is no real knowledge on how to respond when someone is feeling that way. I also lost my uncle to suicide. Because of this, I took suicide prevention training. One of the things I learned is this is not a secret to be kept. This is something that needs attention immediately. They taught me that no matter what context the person has said it, it should be addressed directly.
                          Thank you, couldn't have said better.

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Originally posted by amandaa125
                            I think lois is right at being angry. But i also can see why clark didn't tell her.

                            Find be angry,, but she totally pulled a lana,, " i am lois, how dare you not consult me! You lied"? hypocrite! As much as she's lied on this show!

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              look no one is saying lois should know everything, but if her friend is trying to kill himself she has a right to be upset that clark didn't say anything. he obviously told chloe.

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Originally posted by theotherJane
                                I don't know about you but if I found out that a close friend of mine tried to comitt suicide and the other friend knew about it but kept it from me, I'd be PISSED.
                                And if a friend of yours just felt it was okay to tell others that you intentionally did something that would likely result in your death you'd be okay with that?

                                I'd add that as much as I love Lois, it's not like Oliver's actions since the beginning of the season haven't been self-destructive and Lois has been in the dark about it. She saw him in the MMA fight, she saw him drunk when she needed a hero, she saw him trashed when he came in the Planet in Rabid. It's not like his behavior was golden up to the point he stepped off that pressure plate. Has she been trying to help him all along?

                                Originally posted by alienkinfolk
                                Clark did the right thing not to tell. CK maybe the only one of them that can actually keep a secret. Plus check this out...let's just think strategy on Ck's part... CK loves Lois. Lois used to love Ollie. Ollie is hurting. Lois finds this out and runs to his aide. Then they may hook up again. Leaving the Blur without a chance. I'm just sayin....
                                Please - quit baiting. Take a look at a Superman comic book and get an idea about CK and his strategies when they come to Lois Lane.
                                Last edited by Jack-El49; 10-23-2009, 08:00 PM.

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