Ch II, section 2
(About Eight Months Earlier)
Chloe walked up the long stairway of creaky wooden steps to Clark’s loft, and with each step the weight in her heart grew heavier, until she could barely move. He was waiting for her, standing in front of his old couch, his hands nervously kneading together.
It had only been a week since Bizarro was defeated, but to Clark it had felt like an eternity. He had barely seen Chloe since that afternoon in her apartment, and he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what had happened between them. He wanted to talk to her at Lana’s funeral the other day – but neither of them could vocalize even a single word. So he had finally got up the nerve to leave her a message on her cell, asking her to meet him in his loft.
Ever since then Clark had been pacing back and forth. He couldn’t wait to see her. Despite the mountains of sorrow, guilt, rage, and confusion that he had been drowning in all week – he couldn’t help but smile whenever he thought of Chloe. Just being around her was like a drug, and the happiness wiped everything else away - leaving only a bright white feeling of joy that blinded him to every other emotion or thought. And when he was away from her all he could think about was how he needed to get back to her. He was addicted.
And now she was standing in front of him, and he could barely breathe.
“You wanted to talk?” Chloe asked, trying to stay calm. But Clark could hear her heart pounding like thunder. He had been listening to it for the last five minutes while she was still on her way.
“Yeah,” Clark nodded, “Well…um… it’s just that we haven’t really had a chance to talk since…” Clark was amazed at how nervous he was.
“Oh yeah… right.” Chloe looked down with obvious apprehension. “Well, I don’t think we really need to talk Clark. I mean, we were linked somehow, so I could see your thoughts, you could see mine… and so I think we already know how the other person feels… ” Her heart pounded impossibly harder.
“No, you’re right, you’re right…” Clark kept nodded nervously, but then stepped closer to her, taking her hands into his and took a deep calming breath. “But I just wanted you to know that I still feel the same way. I could do what I’ve done in the past - and obsess about what happened,” he paused to take another deep breath, “…and I won’t lie Chloe, I regret a lot of things that have happened over the last few months – and wish I could change them…”
Chloe looked down to hide the tears rising into her eyes.
“But,” Clark continued, lifting her chin back up with his index finger, till he could see her glassy green eyes, “The one thing I wouldn’t change is what happened between us. I could never ever regret that – okay?”
Chloe nodded shakily and let out a sigh of relief, “Okay, me neither. It’s just such a huge change for us. I guess I got worried that it would be easier for you to just slip back into the way things were, into just being friends, or friends-with-benefits or something.”
“Chloe!” Clark exclaimed, a hurt expression on his face. He was surprised that she would even think that. “Of course not! I would never take you for granted like that!”
“I know, I know. It’s just… well it’s just that…” Chloe couldn’t bring herself to say what she was really thinking; especially now that he had just said everything she could have hoped for.
“What is it Chloe?” Clark pressed.
“Clark, what happened - happened, and I’m not going to pretend it didn’t – but…”
Clark’s heart fell…
“You just lost Lana, you were emotionally vulnerable, and so was I. Maybe we still are…”
“Chloe no!” Clark interrupted. “You know that’s not what it was about…”
“Maybe – but that is why it happened – admit it,” she pressed, “It never would have happened if we both weren’t so distraught. We just can’t build a relationship on top of this tragedy …”
Clark couldn’t deny that she was dead-on about the reason – but now everything had changed for him – and he wasn’t going to let her resort to her classic defensive mechanisms this time. He couldn’t risk wasting another moment with her.
“Okay… maybe you’re right,” he conceded, “…and maybe it’s not a good time to start a relationship, I mean – I still love Lana on some level, maybe I always will, and so maybe it’s not healthy or whatever… maybe I should take some time to grieve or to heal or something…”
Clark suddenly threw up his hands in simulated surrender, "But I can’t help it Chloe, I’ve never felt like this before, and I don't even know how it's possible to feel this way - especially right now… but ever since that day I can’t stop thinking about you, can't stop thinking that maybe I'm falling for you - and I just can’t go back to being friends. If we do that then I’m not sure we’ll ever have another chance at… well, at this…”
And with those pleading words he leaned down and kissed her softly, holding his lips to hers for what seemed like a torturously short second, then pulling back to look into her teary eyes, he continued…
“I’m not proud that it took something like this to bring us together, and I’m still a wreck inside, but you know that… you understand…” His voice cracked with emotion as her little hand squeezed his in response.
“I know I have no right to ask this of you Chloe, and I don’t want to hurt you, or take advantage of your feelings, but I want to give this a chance. That is, if you want to…”
Chloe smiled in awe at the hope and affection in Clark’s eyes. She knew it was a bad idea. She knew she should say no, give him space to really recover from Lana on his own. But she couldn’t. It was like he was the sun itself, pulling her in with a gravity she could never hope to resist. All she could do was nod in response. For once she was speechless and he could not stop talking.
Clark smiled in relief, “I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow Chloe, or how things will work out. The only thing I DO know is that you have always been here, beside me, through every imaginable disaster and tragedy – and you have never given up on me. You’ve always been so much more than a friend to me Chloe, and now… after the other night… well I can’t help what I am feeling, and maybe it is wrong, but I won’t apologize for it either…”
Chloe nodded with a faint smile, her eyes on fire with a love that Clark now recognized…
“I’m not sorry either Clark, although I guess I should be since it was my fault. But I had no idea that my abilities could affect you that way, affect us both…”
“I’m glad they did Chloe. But this isn’t about your abilities,” He replied with a smile. “They’re not affecting me anymore, and I still want to be with you.”
“That’s a very good point,” Chloe said, blushing slightly at the intense look in Clark’s eyes. A shy smile flitted across her face as she glanced nervously away. She knew she would never get used to him looking at her that way. She felt like she would just float away if he didn’t stop.
But he didn’t stop. Instead, he leaned in to kiss her again, deeply this time, his lips parting just enough so that he could pull her lower lip into his mouth. She kissed him back, opening her mouth farther, letting his tongue find hers again and again. And this time he was thinking clearly. And all he could think about was her…
Chloe stood on her tip toes at the top of the stairs, wrapped her arms around Clark’s neck, and kissed him with all her heart, sinking into his body as he wrapped his arms around her – pulling her so tight against him that she could barely breathe.
Time seemed to stand still for just a moment, but the spell was broken as Clark pulled away - his eyes flashing with an unabated hunger for something he couldn’t quite articulate.
“I just wish I could get into your head again, you know – like last time…” he complained – never taking his eyes off her lips.
“Well it’s not a light switch Clark, I can’t just turn my powers on and off at will, I can’t really control them at all.”
“I guess I knew that, I was just hoping…” he hinted as his hand trailed little circles across her lower back.
“I know…” Chloe replied. “I wish I could get there too, under your skin I mean. It was pretty incredible…”
“Yeah.” Clark was silent for a long time, his finger tracing a lazy line from Chloe’s jaw to her neckline. She started to get dizzy as her knees began to buckle at his touch. Oh God, she thought, I’m not going to make it…
“But you know…” he finally said, “…there was something about last time that I didn’t like…”
“What?” Chloe asked nervously…
“I kinda regretted that my first time… with you… like that… was well…”
“Just spit it out Clark.” Chloe interrupted impatiently – already picturing his naked chest and hating that red-flannel shirt more than she had ever hated anything.
“Well it’s just that I was so detached from what was going on – you know – physically. I mean – don’t get me wrong – it was incredible, like you said, but the physical parts are kinda fuzzy – except at the end – which was…”
“Yeah, I know Clark, I was there too…” Chloe giggled, and immediately felt silly for doing so. “I gotta say though - I was happily surprised at the whole alien/meteor freak combo. Between the two of us it was quite a light show.”
Clark smiled down at her, showing her with the gleam in his eye that he shared her opinion. He started to back her slowly towards the couch, suddenly feeling like an encore.
“Yeah, and I wouldn’t mind seeing that show again…” he teased, pulling suggestively at the low-cut collar of her red silk blouse with his index finger. She pretended not to have noticed his advances and continued, sitting down next to him.
“So what did you think? About what you saw, in my mind - I mean…” Chloe asked with genuine curiosity. But Clark was not going to let her change the subject. He was sick of being somber and serious. His heart was overflowing with joy at being near her, kissing her, seeing her contagious smile. It was time to play, and this time he was determined to win. Chloe had no idea what she was in for...
“Well…” He answered slowly, a determinedly playful smile spreading across his face. “It was a little overwhelming – and that’s not even including the electrical finale… I don’t know Chloe – maybe you’re just too much for me to handle…” He said jokingly as he rolled her onto her back, kissing her neck with a smile.
“I don’t know about that...” she pretended to wonder out loud, trying hard not to giggle as he kissed a trail down the line of her blouse. “But I have a lot of faith in you Clark. You do have super powers after all, if anyone can handle me – it’s gotta be you.”
“True...” Clark drawled out slowly, his eyes panned down over her hungrily as she stretched out on the couch beneath him. The look in his eyes was positively primeval. “I guess there is only one way to find out. I just wish...”
And then a cunning smile spread across his face, his eyes lighting up as an idea dawned on him, “Hey - just promise me one thing Chloe…”
“What’s that?” Chloe asked, biting her lip with anticipation as she worked impateintly to undo the buttons of his red flannel shirt, wishing she could just rip it open.
“Don’t take your eyes off mine – even for a second – okay? Promise me.” He seemed very serious all of a sudden and Chloe gulped as the butterflies in her stomach started to turn to a deep twisting heat. I guess there is more than one way to read someone’s mind, she thought with excitement.
“I promise…” she barely got the words out before she felt the weight of him pressing down on her as he pinned her to the couch. But all she could see was the fire in his eyes – and she never blinked.
...
To jump to section three click here
Chloe walked up the long stairway of creaky wooden steps to Clark’s loft, and with each step the weight in her heart grew heavier, until she could barely move. He was waiting for her, standing in front of his old couch, his hands nervously kneading together.
It had only been a week since Bizarro was defeated, but to Clark it had felt like an eternity. He had barely seen Chloe since that afternoon in her apartment, and he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what had happened between them. He wanted to talk to her at Lana’s funeral the other day – but neither of them could vocalize even a single word. So he had finally got up the nerve to leave her a message on her cell, asking her to meet him in his loft.
Ever since then Clark had been pacing back and forth. He couldn’t wait to see her. Despite the mountains of sorrow, guilt, rage, and confusion that he had been drowning in all week – he couldn’t help but smile whenever he thought of Chloe. Just being around her was like a drug, and the happiness wiped everything else away - leaving only a bright white feeling of joy that blinded him to every other emotion or thought. And when he was away from her all he could think about was how he needed to get back to her. He was addicted.
And now she was standing in front of him, and he could barely breathe.
“You wanted to talk?” Chloe asked, trying to stay calm. But Clark could hear her heart pounding like thunder. He had been listening to it for the last five minutes while she was still on her way.
“Yeah,” Clark nodded, “Well…um… it’s just that we haven’t really had a chance to talk since…” Clark was amazed at how nervous he was.
“Oh yeah… right.” Chloe looked down with obvious apprehension. “Well, I don’t think we really need to talk Clark. I mean, we were linked somehow, so I could see your thoughts, you could see mine… and so I think we already know how the other person feels… ” Her heart pounded impossibly harder.
“No, you’re right, you’re right…” Clark kept nodded nervously, but then stepped closer to her, taking her hands into his and took a deep calming breath. “But I just wanted you to know that I still feel the same way. I could do what I’ve done in the past - and obsess about what happened,” he paused to take another deep breath, “…and I won’t lie Chloe, I regret a lot of things that have happened over the last few months – and wish I could change them…”
Chloe looked down to hide the tears rising into her eyes.
“But,” Clark continued, lifting her chin back up with his index finger, till he could see her glassy green eyes, “The one thing I wouldn’t change is what happened between us. I could never ever regret that – okay?”
Chloe nodded shakily and let out a sigh of relief, “Okay, me neither. It’s just such a huge change for us. I guess I got worried that it would be easier for you to just slip back into the way things were, into just being friends, or friends-with-benefits or something.”
“Chloe!” Clark exclaimed, a hurt expression on his face. He was surprised that she would even think that. “Of course not! I would never take you for granted like that!”
“I know, I know. It’s just… well it’s just that…” Chloe couldn’t bring herself to say what she was really thinking; especially now that he had just said everything she could have hoped for.
“What is it Chloe?” Clark pressed.
“Clark, what happened - happened, and I’m not going to pretend it didn’t – but…”
Clark’s heart fell…
“You just lost Lana, you were emotionally vulnerable, and so was I. Maybe we still are…”
“Chloe no!” Clark interrupted. “You know that’s not what it was about…”
“Maybe – but that is why it happened – admit it,” she pressed, “It never would have happened if we both weren’t so distraught. We just can’t build a relationship on top of this tragedy …”
Clark couldn’t deny that she was dead-on about the reason – but now everything had changed for him – and he wasn’t going to let her resort to her classic defensive mechanisms this time. He couldn’t risk wasting another moment with her.
“Okay… maybe you’re right,” he conceded, “…and maybe it’s not a good time to start a relationship, I mean – I still love Lana on some level, maybe I always will, and so maybe it’s not healthy or whatever… maybe I should take some time to grieve or to heal or something…”
Clark suddenly threw up his hands in simulated surrender, "But I can’t help it Chloe, I’ve never felt like this before, and I don't even know how it's possible to feel this way - especially right now… but ever since that day I can’t stop thinking about you, can't stop thinking that maybe I'm falling for you - and I just can’t go back to being friends. If we do that then I’m not sure we’ll ever have another chance at… well, at this…”
And with those pleading words he leaned down and kissed her softly, holding his lips to hers for what seemed like a torturously short second, then pulling back to look into her teary eyes, he continued…
“I’m not proud that it took something like this to bring us together, and I’m still a wreck inside, but you know that… you understand…” His voice cracked with emotion as her little hand squeezed his in response.
“I know I have no right to ask this of you Chloe, and I don’t want to hurt you, or take advantage of your feelings, but I want to give this a chance. That is, if you want to…”
Chloe smiled in awe at the hope and affection in Clark’s eyes. She knew it was a bad idea. She knew she should say no, give him space to really recover from Lana on his own. But she couldn’t. It was like he was the sun itself, pulling her in with a gravity she could never hope to resist. All she could do was nod in response. For once she was speechless and he could not stop talking.
Clark smiled in relief, “I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow Chloe, or how things will work out. The only thing I DO know is that you have always been here, beside me, through every imaginable disaster and tragedy – and you have never given up on me. You’ve always been so much more than a friend to me Chloe, and now… after the other night… well I can’t help what I am feeling, and maybe it is wrong, but I won’t apologize for it either…”
Chloe nodded with a faint smile, her eyes on fire with a love that Clark now recognized…
“I’m not sorry either Clark, although I guess I should be since it was my fault. But I had no idea that my abilities could affect you that way, affect us both…”
“I’m glad they did Chloe. But this isn’t about your abilities,” He replied with a smile. “They’re not affecting me anymore, and I still want to be with you.”
“That’s a very good point,” Chloe said, blushing slightly at the intense look in Clark’s eyes. A shy smile flitted across her face as she glanced nervously away. She knew she would never get used to him looking at her that way. She felt like she would just float away if he didn’t stop.
But he didn’t stop. Instead, he leaned in to kiss her again, deeply this time, his lips parting just enough so that he could pull her lower lip into his mouth. She kissed him back, opening her mouth farther, letting his tongue find hers again and again. And this time he was thinking clearly. And all he could think about was her…
Chloe stood on her tip toes at the top of the stairs, wrapped her arms around Clark’s neck, and kissed him with all her heart, sinking into his body as he wrapped his arms around her – pulling her so tight against him that she could barely breathe.
Time seemed to stand still for just a moment, but the spell was broken as Clark pulled away - his eyes flashing with an unabated hunger for something he couldn’t quite articulate.
“I just wish I could get into your head again, you know – like last time…” he complained – never taking his eyes off her lips.
“Well it’s not a light switch Clark, I can’t just turn my powers on and off at will, I can’t really control them at all.”
“I guess I knew that, I was just hoping…” he hinted as his hand trailed little circles across her lower back.
“I know…” Chloe replied. “I wish I could get there too, under your skin I mean. It was pretty incredible…”
“Yeah.” Clark was silent for a long time, his finger tracing a lazy line from Chloe’s jaw to her neckline. She started to get dizzy as her knees began to buckle at his touch. Oh God, she thought, I’m not going to make it…
“But you know…” he finally said, “…there was something about last time that I didn’t like…”
“What?” Chloe asked nervously…
“I kinda regretted that my first time… with you… like that… was well…”
“Just spit it out Clark.” Chloe interrupted impatiently – already picturing his naked chest and hating that red-flannel shirt more than she had ever hated anything.
“Well it’s just that I was so detached from what was going on – you know – physically. I mean – don’t get me wrong – it was incredible, like you said, but the physical parts are kinda fuzzy – except at the end – which was…”
“Yeah, I know Clark, I was there too…” Chloe giggled, and immediately felt silly for doing so. “I gotta say though - I was happily surprised at the whole alien/meteor freak combo. Between the two of us it was quite a light show.”
Clark smiled down at her, showing her with the gleam in his eye that he shared her opinion. He started to back her slowly towards the couch, suddenly feeling like an encore.
“Yeah, and I wouldn’t mind seeing that show again…” he teased, pulling suggestively at the low-cut collar of her red silk blouse with his index finger. She pretended not to have noticed his advances and continued, sitting down next to him.
“So what did you think? About what you saw, in my mind - I mean…” Chloe asked with genuine curiosity. But Clark was not going to let her change the subject. He was sick of being somber and serious. His heart was overflowing with joy at being near her, kissing her, seeing her contagious smile. It was time to play, and this time he was determined to win. Chloe had no idea what she was in for...
“Well…” He answered slowly, a determinedly playful smile spreading across his face. “It was a little overwhelming – and that’s not even including the electrical finale… I don’t know Chloe – maybe you’re just too much for me to handle…” He said jokingly as he rolled her onto her back, kissing her neck with a smile.
“I don’t know about that...” she pretended to wonder out loud, trying hard not to giggle as he kissed a trail down the line of her blouse. “But I have a lot of faith in you Clark. You do have super powers after all, if anyone can handle me – it’s gotta be you.”
“True...” Clark drawled out slowly, his eyes panned down over her hungrily as she stretched out on the couch beneath him. The look in his eyes was positively primeval. “I guess there is only one way to find out. I just wish...”
And then a cunning smile spread across his face, his eyes lighting up as an idea dawned on him, “Hey - just promise me one thing Chloe…”
“What’s that?” Chloe asked, biting her lip with anticipation as she worked impateintly to undo the buttons of his red flannel shirt, wishing she could just rip it open.
“Don’t take your eyes off mine – even for a second – okay? Promise me.” He seemed very serious all of a sudden and Chloe gulped as the butterflies in her stomach started to turn to a deep twisting heat. I guess there is more than one way to read someone’s mind, she thought with excitement.
“I promise…” she barely got the words out before she felt the weight of him pressing down on her as he pinned her to the couch. But all she could see was the fire in his eyes – and she never blinked.
...
To jump to section three click here
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