Anti-Episode Wars—The Worst of All Seasons

[BadToad]

Episode 4 : Echo
Episode 5: Roulette
Episode 6: Harvest

[Xanderman]

Hey Supsfan, I figured a more appropriate place to respond to your post was the anti-Smallville thread... (for obvious reasons )

I liked(but didn't love) Homecoming but my big beef with the episode was to make it work you had to have alot of bad storylines from the previous 100 episodes.

I ranted about this after the episode aired, here are my beefs: The writing/dialog for the ep was awful. Cliched and exposition heavy. Brainiac in particular was nauseating. The Chloe/Wall of Weird groupies/wannabes stuff was beyond a travesty. That woman who was remembering the past and listing characters/"ships" off the way online bloggers do was frightfully lame. The Legion ring nonsense rearing its hideous head again, the lame flashbacks, the lameness/cheapness of bringing back barely any significant past characters/actors given the episode was about a high school reunion/homecoming. Bugboy, that's it, really now. This "landmark" 200th episode also sealed things in terms of making every last thing "Superman" is or will be a result of other people's influences or other people beating him to the punch. The idea that born-again Brainiac's visit from the future, Clark seeing that future, etc, being critical to that future resulting in the first place is awful. That's fine for stories like Terminator, but not Superman. Kara beats him to the costume/colors/flying, and the glasses idea and his own future costumed appearance is also something that is arguably a future-creating-the-past thing itself. I hated Season 10 and the show-running in general since Season 7. Homecoming wasn't so much a homecoming as it was a funeral, the final nails in Smallville's coffin.

^^I can't believe how bitter I've become...can you?

[Supsfan]

That woman who was remembering the past and listing characters/"ships" off the way online bloggers do was frightfully lame.

I actually thought punchbowl Maddie was a highlight of the episode

[Xanderman]

I actually thought punchbowl Maddie was a highlight of the episode

I cringed through the whole scene...somebody must've spiked the punchbowl in the writers' room when they were writing this episode...

[Supsfan]

I cringed through the whole scene...somebody must've spiked the punchbowl in the writers' room when they were writing this episode...

I don't see anything wrong with adding a little comedy to the episode to lighten things up. As you said Maddie sounded like online bloggers which is what made it funny

[SGuthrie27]

Once again, I’m going to go ahead and share my picks for the worst choices among the episodes we have been voting for during Round 2, and then we’ll be ready to begin Round 3!

Episode 4: Hmm... This is a tricky one. Do I go for “Slumber,” which was a downright boring snooze-fest that did little to propel the storyline of the season forward? Do I choose “Devoted,” with its ridiculous use of kryptonite as something to be mixed with a “love molecule” to spike sports drinks and make football players insanely devoted to cheerleaders? Do I go for “Cure,” which I’ve voted for in the past, and which is a bit too gory for my taste, and one of the worst Chloe-centric episodes (and that is almost an oxymoron for me to say it)? What about “Instinct,” with the woefully shallow character of Maxima, and the way the writers stomped all over the “Fever” letter? And what about “Echo,” where Clark backhands a hostage into the hospital without unmasking him first to check and see if he’s the real criminal? So many choices... But in the end, I think I’ll have to go with... “Cure.” There was too much Chimmy angst in this episode for me, and besides that, Chloe being willing to undergo brain surgery and possibly lose years of her memory just so she wouldn’t even be tempted to use her powers again (or potentially go insane like other meteor freaks) sort of rubbed me the wrong way. Plus, using Dean Cain as a person portraying a cold-blooded serial killer surgeon who lives forever? That’s a major step down from being the former Man of Steel.

Episode 5: “Thirst.” I didn’t have to blink or think twice about this one. “Thirst” is one of those episodes that I completely despise, other than a few minutes here and there, most of them featuring my favorite tiny blonde and her attempts to join the staff of the Daily Planet. But seriously, Lana as a vampire was enough to land this episode in the bottom spot for me, hands-down. I’m not too thrilled by “Nocturne,” “Committed,” or “Isis” either, but all of them have features that I enjoy, and I really actually like “Roulette” for the most part, other than a few little missteps.

Episode 6: I’m tempted to vote for “Harvest,” but I don’t think that would honestly be fair, considering I’ve never actually viewed that episode myself. So, to give it a better chance... hmm... what DO I choose? “Prey” is one of my least favorite episodes of Season 8, so it’s a contender. The mere idea of strippers on Smallville makes me almost gag at the mention of “Exposed.” “Redux” is just plain stupid, and introduces what could have been two wonderful additions as recurring characters in William Clark and Principal Reynolds... I guess, even though I know it won’t make a difference since no one else voted for it, I’m sticking by my principles and voting for “Exposed.” Deal with it.

Be that as it may, these are the final results for which episodes were chosen as the worst of Episodes 4-6:
Episode 4: Cure (beat “Echo” by 1 point and won two other years, “Devoted” winning once)
Episode 5: Roulette (“Nocturne” and “Thirst” were almost tied for second; those two episodes won the last three years)
Episode 6: Redux (Easily beat the rest of the episodes, with “Harvest” 3 points behind; “Redux” is a four-time champion in this category!)

Let’s see what’s up for grabs in Round 3, shall we????

Episode 7:

Craving: A girl who drinks meteor rock veggie shakes in an effort to look thin and pretty enough in her own eyes to attend Lana Lang’s birthday party becomes a fat-sucking vampire that devours roadkill deer and tries to eat her date (Pete Ross) as dessert. Ewww. If it wasn’t for Amy Adams portraying Jodi’s character, and the good character development of some of the main cast members, I would almost automatically award this episode the title.

Lineage: Rachel Dunleavy arrives in Smallville, ambushing Clark at school and claiming to be his long-lost biological mother... which is impossible, unless she fell out of the sky or walked through a time portal from Krypton in the 1980s, which is not all that likely. It turns out she actually had a son with Lionel Luthor, and she ends up kidnapping Lex to try to get to the truth, while Clark and Chloe have some verbal blowouts over her continued digging into his adoption records. After the axe-wielding mommy-wannabe ends up in the psych ward, she is later released, only to hand over refugee humans to the skitters. Or wait, was that in “Falling Skies?”

Magnetic: A dude with a crush on Lana (what an original plotline) gets beaned in the skull with a meteor rock snow globe. Shards of the green stuff, plus electricity from the MRI they try to give him at the hospital, give him the ability to manipulate metal objects, as well as the feelings of others, which gives him an instant new girlfriend in Miss Lang! Meanwhile, Chloe teaches Clark the joys of candy-striping, and Lex inches closer to the deadly truth about his father’s past.

Jinx: Mxyzptlk, a famed Superman comic book character, is transformed into a foreign exchange student from the Balkans who is a bookie for high school and Metropolis Sharks football games, and can make people do whatever he wants just by giving verbal commands. Also, Jason Teague gets fired for having a behind-the-scenes relationship with Lana while being a coach at her school (bad idea!), and we get a first glimpse of Level 33.1!

Splinter: Clark’s gone all paranoid and craaaaaaazy after getting a sliver of silver meteor rock jammed in his finger. After believing that Chloe and his parents have been making shady deals with Lionel Luthor to turn him into a lab rat, he has visions of Lana and Lex making out (yeah, ‘cause that could NEVER happen), and then almost chokes Lana to death! Luckily (?), Clark’s professor, Milton Fine, arrives on the scene to extract the splinter and keep him from doing something he’ll regret (but many reviewers won’t) for many years to come, and reveals himself to be a Kryptonian... sort of.

Rage: Oliver gets mad. A lot. He throws Lois through tables, shoots Lex with an arrow, nearly killing him, and breaks glass with his bare hands. Yeah, this title ended up proving pretty apt. Oh, and did I mention it’s Thanksgiving in Smallville? I’m sure Oliver will be thankful for rehab by the end of this episode!

Wrath: This emotion is brought out in me in spades anytime I watch this episode. What do I hate about it the most? Is it Lana’s turn to almost cold-blooded killer when she gets a dose of Clark’s abilities? Is it the earthquake-inducing... recreational activities she has with Clark? Is it the way that the character of Grant Gabriel makes me yawn more each time I see him? All in all, this episode makes me want to turn green, hulking, and with a desire to smash things.

Identity: Could Jimmy have really stumbled onto Clark’s red-and-blue secret? Maybe so, and it has him worried enough that he wants to pull off a major switcheroo trick to make Jimmy think he’s not the genuine article as Metropolis’s newest, blurry mystery hero. Meanwhile, Chloe gives a memory-stealing freak a major brain drain, and Tess tries to hunt down the thief who took a crystal she found in the Arctic. Oh, and Lois looks hot in a red dress, but we all knew that already.

Kandor: Let’s party like it’s 1989 -- Krypton-style! This episode features flashbacks galore, showcasing Jor-El’s early interactions with a young Major Zod, and their falling out over Jor-El’s unwillingness to clone his deceased son, killed in Black Zero’s bombing of Kandor. In the present, Clark tries to track down the cloned, physical form of his deal old biological dad, while Jor-El himself is given a tour of the past and present by Chloe Sullivan, gets kidnapped by Tess Mercer, is beat up repeatedly by Zod and his cronies, and then meets his son for the first time, only to die in his arms. Sad.

Ambush: I’ve only seen this episode once, so I know that there’s something about Thanksgiving, General Lane interrogating Clark for dating Lois, Lucy Lane continuing to foul things up for everyone, and Rick Flagg blowing up the Talon. Maybe there’s a reason I don’t remember this episode all that well...

Episode 8:

Jitters: Earl Jenkins is sure that there’s a secret experimental Level 3 at Luthorcorp’s fertilizer plant, and he’s willing to take the students that are visiting there on a field trip hostage in order to prove it! Can Clark figure out a plan in time to stop him from making a terrible mistake? Will Lex be able to make up for his father’s dirty little secrets? Will Gabe Sullivan make any other manure-themed jokes? All signs point to the answer of all these questions being: YES.

Ryan: Ryan James returns to Smallville after he’s rescued from Summerholt Neurological Institute by his big brother figure, Clark Kent. Unfortunately, the boy has developed a brain tumor due to his burgeoning telepathic powers, and in spite of Clark’s super-speeding to catch a neurosurgeon before he can depart for South America, he learns the hard way that he can’t save everyone. This is a super-sad episode, but also incredibly poignant, and one of my favorites of Season 2. Rest in peace, Ryan James...

Shattered: Lex Luthor has gone absolutely nuts!!!! Or has he? That’s what Lionel wants the world to think once Lex’s uncovered the fact that Lionel murdered his own parents in a tenement fire with the help of Morgan Edge. Clark must choose whether or not to give up on his friend, or to try to help him find the truth, which could put his own secret and life in jeopardy! Plus, Lana meets a horse who doesn’t instantly like her... and that’s an understatement.

Spell: Lana takes a walk on the witchy side when a spellbook imbues her with the spirit of burned-at-the-stake 16th-Century witch, Countess Margaret Isobel Thoreaux. She manages to get birthday girl Chloe and her cousin Lois equally bewitched by the spirits of her BFFs from ages past, turns Clark’s barn into an NC-17-rated party central while a talent scout comes to check out Clark for a potential scholarship, steals Clark’s powers, hunts down one of the three mystical Stones of Knowledge, and causes plenty more chaos in the process. Personally, I’d rather watch a season’s worth of “Sabrina the Teenage Witch.”

Solitude: When Martha comes down with a deadly Kryptonian illness, Clark is persuaded by Milton Fine that Jor-El is to blame. He rushes off to the Fortress of Solitude to deal Ice Palace Daddy Dearest a major blow, but ends up opening the portal for Zod instead and getting trapped by Brainiac with a piece of meteor rock on his chest. Oops! Lucky for him, the Chlo-Lo Detective Agency gets the 4-1-1 on Clark’s cyber-killer professor, and his favorite tiny blonde rescues him from his least favorite green rocks, just in time to stop the Kryptonian supercomputer and save Mama Kent’s life! Hooray!

Static: A phantom arrives in Seattle, supping on the bone marrow of any humans he can find by ripping out their spines and crushing and eating the rest of the bones in their body. Can you say “major gross out?” Meanwhile, Lex has been pulled into an alternate frequency by one of the meteor freaks he was experimenting on in Level 33.1, and Lana must do whatever he can to bring him back, including allying herself with the best suited guy for the job... Jimmy “The Infuriator” Olsen?!

Blue: Clark starts listening to talking crystals again, which is never a good sign. This time, it leads to a cloned version of his mother, Lara, arriving on Earth, but she brings with her the doppelganger of Kara’s tyrranical father, Zor-El, who wants to create an eclipse that will extinguish the life of the planet’s human population, preparing it for the New Krypton he hopes to establish. It sure helps that Clark put on a blue kryptonite ring, which stripped him of his powers, and allowed him to get tossed around like a rag doll. Clark does manage to stop his evil uncle, but at the cost of a major grounding by Jor-El, and Kara getting teleported, free of memories and powers, to Detroit. Nice move, C.K. Next time, when a mystical Kryptonian artifact tells you to do something, just say “No.”

Bloodline: Lois Lane is moving back into the Kent farmhouse! At least, that’s what she was planning on doing, before Clark got a mysterious package containing an all-too familiar crystal, which immediately beams the Cloisy pair to the Phantom Zone. Uh-oh! Luckily, they’re aided in their attempt to flee this barren, harsh, horrible place by none other than Kara, who has been trapped there since she was replaced by Brainiac in late Season 7. Chloe harnesses her inner Chloeiac to hack into a device using the crystal to teleport Clark and Kara out of the Zone so that they can stop Lois, who was possessed by Faora when she got out earlier. They’re successful, but none of them realize that Faora impaled Davis with a pole, making him invulnerable to being stabbed, and forcing him to realize that he’s something more (or less?) than human.

Idol: The Wonder Twins, Zan and Jayna, idolize the Blur, and will do anything to help him in his crusade against crime, even if it means messily botching crimes themselves, and knocking out the city’s power grid in the process. Whoops. In the meantime, Lois is having psych therapy sessions about the futuristic visions she’s been having, and when a technical glitch causes the Blur’s voice-changer to go on the fritz, she believes that her boyfriend Clark and her mysterious hero are one and the same. Can she protect him from the evil Ray Sachs, who wants to expose his identity to the world? And even if she does, will she have to give her life up in the process? And if she doesn’t, will she know his secret from now on?!? Watch this episode to find out!

Abandoned: Lois watches lots of recorded movies left for her by her mother, Ella Lane, which inspires her to whisk Clark away to the Fortress to view a special message that Jor-El apparently never thought to show him until now. Meanwhile, Tess begins to remember creepy aspects of her past, such as when she was kept in an orphanage by a mysterious old lady, who ends up being the memory-wiping, immensely powerful, and pure evil Granny Goodness, leader of the Female Furies, who are a lot less scary on screen than they are in the comics. This episode does feature one of the best Cless lines ever, and a sweet handhold to boot, even if the rest of it isn’t particularly all that memorable.

Episode 9:

Rogue: Clark stops a bus from crashing on the streets of Metropolis, right in plain sight of a dirty cop, Sam Phelan, who was watching from the shadows. The next thing he knows, Clark’s being asked to commit crimes himself for Officer Sam, and when he tries to get out of this dangerous situation, Phelan has Jonathan arrested. Will Clark be able to come up with a plan to stop Sam Phelan, rogue cop, once and for all? Probably so. Will Victoria Hardwick end up being all that interesting a love interest for Lex? Probably not.

Dichotic: Home Improvement’s Jonathan Taylor Thomas brings a whole new meaning to the term “two-timing,” when he uses his ability to clone himself into two separate Ians to take way more classes than the average kid would be able to, and to date Chloe and Lana at the same time -- double-burn to Clark! His protests that they’re dating yet another meteor-infected killer fall on deaf ears -- until the Ians try to chuck the girls off a dam. How do they thank Clark? By giving him a lecture at the Talon and forcing him into a “let’s just stay friends” agreement. Nice.

Asylum: Lionel Luthor actually committed his own son to the Belle Reeve Sanitarium, and is prepared to fry Lex’s brain using electroshock therapy to remove those pesky memories of Lionel’s past crimes. Clark’s not about to let that happen, but he might not have much of a choice when Lex’s therapist winds up murdered, and Clark himself is left at the mercy of Van McNulty (sort of; he died before Clark even showed up for the attempted rescue), Ian Randall (again?!), and Eric Summers (of “Leech” fame!). Meanwhile, Lana meets a very snarky physical therapy buddy in the mysterious Adam Knight.

Bound: Lex has been having a plethora of one-night stands, but the latest one turns out to have a rather dead personality. Actually, he wakes up to find her dead, period, and he himself is wanted for her murder. Clark visits a Hannibal Lecter-ish mentor in the form of Lionel, who helps him and Chloe find the evidence they need to exonerate Lex of the crime, and expose the true culprit, another jilted former lover who he doesn’t even recognize without her glasses (that explains a lot, actually). And while this episode is pretty gag-worthy, IMO, it does feature one of the hottest elevator scenes of all time.

Lexmas: Clark Kent saves Santa Claus! Lex and Lana are married! Lana dies! Chloe and Clark are dating while Chloe writes a book exposing all of Luthorcorp’s secrets! Jonathan Kent is already a senator! Lillian Luthor keeps popping up at inopportune moments! Lex gets shot! What’s real and what isn’t in this Christmas tale of holiday cheer with a little doom and gloom? Find out for yourself by re-watching Lexmas!

Subterranean: A philosophical debate about illegal immigration meets a formulaic FOTW plot involving a farmer who can turn himself into a human groundhog to fertilize his own fields. Add a little bland Chimmy to attempt to spice up the mix, and you’ve got a recipe for a pretty blah excuse for an episode.

Gemini: After returning from the Fortress of Solitude, Clark manages to reunite with Lana, help track down the truth about Lex’s Project: Scion, and save Chloe and Jimmy from being blown up in an elevator! Only one problem... it’s not Clark! Meanwhile, Lois is all set for the interview of a lifetime with Lex, but she gets used as a pawn in the game of a clone who exposes the truth about Grant Gabriel to Grant himself -- that he’s actually nothing more than a clone created using the cored blood of Lex’s long-dead little brother, Julian Luthor! How’s that for an early Christmas present?

Abyss: Chloe has been losing bits and pieces of her memory, as they’re systematically being replaced by Kryptonian code thanks to her ever-growing Brainiac infection. Clark attempts to help her hold on to her memories, but when she loses even her knowledge of first Clark’s secret, and then her best friend completely, the only person she feels safe to turn to is... Davis Bloome?! Clark manages to rebuild the Fortress of Solitude and enlists Jor-El’s help in restoring Chloe’s memories (minus those of his abilities and alien origins, causing many Chlarkers and Chloe fans to facepalm themselves repeatedly), and all seems well as the characters prep for the upcoming Chimmy wedding -- except for Davis, who apparently isn’t willing to give up without a fight. Foreboding, much?

Pandora: Tess Mercer kidnaps Lois in an attempt to hack into her memories using Project: Intercept, and catches glimpses of the post-apocalyptic future that Lois was sent to using the Legion ring way back in “Doomsday.” In this world, Chloe and Oliver are part of a resistance movement fighting against Zod and the Kandorians, who Tess has allied herself with, which ends up leading to her untimely death... and she’s not the only one! Chloe gets skewered by a sword-wielding Alia (BOOO!), Clark gets stabbed by a green kryptonite knife after Clark and his pals shut down the solar tower that’s been turning the Sun red, and I don’t imagine Oliver fared well against the Kandorian army that was flying his way when we saw him last. But that’s all in the past... or future... or alternate reality... or something. ‘Cause now that Clark and Chloe also know Lois’s memories (and she doesn’t... nice mind-wipe again ), they plan on setting things straight and stopping Zod once and for all... by befriending him? Great idea, Clark! Let’s see how that works out for ya!

Patriot: Aquaman and his new wife, Mera, have been blowing up VRA facilities across the globe, landing them in hot water (pun definitely intended), along with Oliver, all of whom end up in the crosshairs of one Colonel Slade, who will one day become Deathstroke, the Terminator! Clark is caught in the middle of their struggle, and must work against the clock to save his future JLA buddies! Umm... maybe some other things happen in this episode, too, but I won’t remember ‘em until I get my Season 10 DVD set. Sorry!

So, that’s it for the synopses. Now it’s YOUR turn! Which episodes will YOU choose as the worst for Episodes 7, 8, and 9? Send your choices in by 7:00 PM CST on Wednesday, August 31st, 2011!

[wellinglover66]

Episode 7: Magnetic
Episode 8: Static
Episode 9: Abyss

[MrsK]

Episode 7: Magnetic
Episode 8: Blue (Static was a close second)
Episode 9: Bound (Subterranean and Patriot were definitely in the running)

[skully]

Episode 7: Magnetic - just bad!!!
Episode 8: Blue - the actors phoned in their performances. This episode sums up S7. Lame.
Episode 9: Patriot - awful episode that got way too caught up in Slade Wilson's boring gravelly-voiced grumpiness and AC and Mera's terrorist acts. Remind me what part Clark and Lois played in the ep again?

[Supsfan]

Episode 7: Magnetic

I don't hate this episode as much as some but it still wasn't that good. I think the fact that the last Clana scene is so over the top bad(where Lana makes a passive aggressive comment towards Clark about how Seth had the courage to be honest with her just before she storms out of the place), it becomes a parody of most angsty Clana scenes and I actually find humor in it as opposed to get annoyed so it wins a couple brownie points.

Episode 8: Solitude

This episode has way to much tie in to the terrible Season 5 plot of Clark screwing up and losing his powers in Arrival(my choice for 2nd worst first episode), dieing then regaining his powers only to have somebody die in his place in Hidden(my choice for worst 3rd episode) then Jonathon dieing in Reckoning(want to guess where that places on my worst 12th episode list). Watching Clark be depressed for the bulk of the episode and knowing where this episode is leading to just makes the rewatch factor low. Beyond that Solitude probably has one of the most ridiculous Clark gets saved moments ever on the show. Honestly what exactly was the point of Chloe running to the FOS to pull a fricken rock off his chest, 2 seasons later Zor-El had 0 problems rolling out of the way in the exact same situation. This was a big moment for the episode and instead of letting Clark shine a bit they basically used it to tell us how useless Clark is and wonderful Chloe is(but hey they got to sip Coco infront of a fireplace so Chloe fans can care less about how bad Clark looks). Combine the 2 things(tie in to Jonathon dieing and terrible save) this episode squeaks into my worst 20 list, although of the 4 mentioned in this write up it's the best of then bunch.

Episode 9: Abyss

Rather pointless episode where anything of importance gets reversed within 2 episodes(ie Chloe loses brainiac out of her body and Clark mindwipes her). I have no idea what exactly the point of this episode was other then to do a homage to Chloe. they easily could have fit the FOS getting rebuilt into Bloodline and nothing from this episode would have changed anything. Honorable mention goes to Pandora here, I personally find time reversals or Alternate Timeline episodes a rather cheap way to try tell a story and many times it falls flat on it's face like this

Episode 6: I’m tempted to vote for “Harvest,” but I don’t think that would honestly be fair, considering I’ve never actually viewed that episode myself. So, to give it a better chance... hmm... what DO I choose? “Prey” is one of my least favorite episodes of Season 8, so it’s a contender. The mere idea of strippers on Smallville makes me almost gag at the mention of “Exposed.”

I am not sure how big you are on Chloe being a journalist, but Exposed was like one of a few episodes we actually see her go out and hunt down a story for more then 1 scene. This was the peak of her journalism career basically, then it all went downhill after it. lol

[jsm]

Episode 7: Ambush. Like all Season 10 episodes, I've only seen it once, but I still didn't care much for it.
Episode 8: Spell
Episode 9: Subterranean

[rockyshadow]

Episode 7: Magnetic
Episode 8: Static
Episode 9: Abyss

[super_j_man]

Episode 7: Wrath
Episode 8: Static
Episode 9: Subterranean

[LordOnox]

Episode 7: Wrath
Episode 8: Spell
Episode 9: Subterranean

[costas22]

Episode 7: Craving (Ugh)
Episode 8: Static (Not even Batista could save this )
Episode 9: Pandora (Didn't like Patriot either, but at least that one wasn't as hyped up as this)