Things Jonathan Kent Would Never Say

[sdogg1m]

Grrr. I was going to add the, "Lionel you can have Martha when I am dead."

Oh well, Jonathan wouldn't say:

Clark go ahead and deal with the crisis; I am going to relax on the couch.

[Green-Arrow28]

*Clark just comes out the shower with a towel round his waist*
*jonathan walks in*

JK: Hey babe,

CK: Hey dad *thinks WTF*

JK: son i know its been a hard few weeks for you...

CK: Tell me about it! Lana turns out to be a Self hearted *****! Lex sends me notes saying he loves me and Lionel aparently has photo's of me on his PC!!

JK: I know son, but i guess theres only one thing you can do....

CK: whats that?

*JK gets a camera out and starts taking photo's of Clark*

JK: thats it work it baby, OMG Clark your so good at this!!

*JK runs off. Clarks left there in shock thinking what the F**K!*

*minuets laterJK is on the phone*

JK: Lionel how are you?....yes yes i got the photo's.... no not Marther this time no its Clark... yes i thaught you'd like that!
so the usual $10,000 ok... see ya sug's

*END*

yea i know what your all thinking WTF right? HAHA

[sdogg1m]

Yes that is pretty far out their. Martha would kick his rear end.

Jonathan wouldn't say: Clark love Lionel as if he were me.

[kp1984]

Clark i won't you to have sex with your mother tonight. I don't feel like doing this.

[Dark kalel]

Johnathan:"Ah screw it son! show the world what you got to give!"

Clark: "Seriously?" *Runs into the middle of Smallville and rips off his pants* "WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Pedistrian: What the ****!

[noblue4u]

Jonathan: "Poo."

Clark: "Huh?"

Jonathan: "Don't question me! Just bring me poo!!"

Clark: "B-But..."

Jonathan: "Poo, damn you, POO!"

[Dark kalel]

Jonathan walks in sweating
Martha:Where have you been and why are you so sweaty?
Jonathan: Mrs. Ross is an ANIMAL!!!

[Doomsday911]

Jonathan walks in sweating
Martha:Where have you been and why are you so sweaty?
Jonathan: Mrs. Ross is an ANIMAL!!!

[meteorfreak219]

*Clark just comes out the shower with a towel round his waist*
*jonathan walks in*

JK: Hey babe,

CK: Hey dad *thinks WTF*

JK: son i know its been a hard few weeks for you...

CK: Tell me about it! Lana turns out to be a Self hearted *****! Lex sends me notes saying he loves me and Lionel aparently has photo's of me on his PC!!

JK: I know son, but i guess theres only one thing you can do....

CK: whats that?

*JK gets a camera out and starts taking photo's of Clark*

JK: thats it work it baby, OMG Clark your so good at this!!

*JK runs off. Clarks left there in shock thinking what the F**K!*

*minuets laterJK is on the phone*

JK: Lionel how are you?....yes yes i got the photo's.... no not Marther this time no its Clark... yes i thaught you'd like that!
so the usual $10,000 ok... see ya sug's

*END*

yea i know what your all thinking WTF right? HAHA

^ that might not be what jk would say but thats what i would say

----- Added 1 Minutes later -----

oh wait i just read the rest of it. i wouldnt say the last line although it does make me giggle...

[marcella]

Let's steal the bank,Clark!

[jpfort1957]

Clark son............have you been hittin that?

[pizzahead2490]

"Clark...you remind me of Lex"

[CloisShipper]

"Lex is like the son I never had"

"I would love to be more like Lionel Luthor"

"If only there were more Luthors in the world"

"Martha, Im leaving you. I've fallen in love with Lionel Luthor"

"If only Clark was more like Lex"

[Aparna]

"Clark, go spend the night at Lex's. Your mother and I are going to, uh... do some stuff..."

[Elacey]

"Son,I don't know how to tell you this but,uh....Shelby had a sex change."

"Martha,Lex and I are going to the strip club.Don't wait up."

"Clark,Jor-el and I are going to party hard at your fortress.Don't wait up."

"Son,I might have purposely slipped some RedK in your pocket because you are more fun when you're on it."

"Lois,can you make me pancakes?"