What will Clark write in his new journal?

[Miss L]

May 8th

Put some finishing touches on my loft since I finished repairing it again yesterday. Think I need more mirrors in here so I can check out my hair.

Can't decide if it's too long. Looks a little scruffy. Scruffy could be good. Wonder what the heck Lana could possibly see in a guy with no hair. Especially when my hair is so nice. And thick. But scruffy. Maybe I should cut it. Can't decide. Cutting it is such a chore. Harder than milking cranky cows. Think I'll leave it alone.

But it is so scruffy!

Should cut it.

No. I'll ask Mom. Oh, wait, I see Lionel's car. His hair is scruffy. Maybe scruffy is good. Dad's hair was kind of scruffy. Scruffy could be good. Oh, hey Shelby! Shelby's hair is scruffy. Wait, Shelby's a dog. Note to self: Probably not a good idea to take grooming advice from dog.

Can't decide. Need more mirrors in the loft.

[xrayvision]

Entry #Iamamoron (hmm, I wonder if that's really a number):

Lately, Shelby has been going around town and spreading his "seed". Mom told me to go take him to be neutered. I didn't want to do this, so I went to see Jor-El at the FOS. He gave me a special 1-time power. So I went with this power to the Luthor mansion and poof, Cueball turned into the Shaggy Lex, just like that movie that Lana and I saw. So we took Shag Doggy Lex to the vetinarian, and had him fixed. We brought him home to show my mom that the job was done, and luckily she bought it. So Shelby still has his, but Lex---well, let's just say after we turned him back into a human, he won't be getting any more action from Lana other than the accessorizing the 2 of them will be doing together.

What a day it was. It was the bestest ever!!!!!

[GottaLoveHotSuperHeros]

a little risque, but

[Welling_is_pretty]

funny stuff gang!
if no one minds me taking a nother crack at it:

Dear Diary,
Lois said this was where I could write all the stuff I could not tell her about (well, I don't actually know what she said really; I mean, who listens to Lois?) so here goes.
I think it's time I own up. There's a reason I love Lana and it's not what people think. Really, I'm jealous of her clothes and her cute little girl body. WHy oh why oh why do I have to be this big strapping farmboy when I really want to be a cute, pert llittle pink dress wearing girl? How else am I going to get Lex to notice me? Why couldn't that stupid body switching thing have happened between me and Lana instead of me and Lionel?
I'm sorry, Dear Diary, I'm starting to cry and I'm getting very emotional so I think I'll have to write more later.
Love and kisses,
Clark

[Miss L]

^^^^^^^^^^^^
That might also explain the fascination with the hair!

[xrayvision]

Tuesday:

I rented Cheaper by the Dozen 1 & 2. Man those movies sucked. I thought they were only worth a dozen cents. There's even a goofy looking guy that looks somewhat familiar. I think he's gay. I also bought some Dukes of Hazzard DVDs. Man, those 2 guys also seem familiar. I wonder if I'll ever have a car that flies---oops, my truck has flown & rolled a trillion more times than the General Lee. I also rented Cursed and saw something that made me choke on my juice. This dude named Michael Rosenbaum who looks so much like Lex had hair. I wonder if he is Segeeth. Only time will tell. I'm glad I never saw some Snow White TV movie that Chloe told me about. I heard bad things about that one. I think instead of Ebert & Roper, it should be Kent & Luthor. Me and my daddy Lionel, we're so awesome. I think next week I'll rent this strange movie called Superman. I wonder what it's about?

[TalkinMac]

Dear Diary,
You know you wont be around long cuz I will have to burn you after I get all my thoughts laid out. I caught a bullet last night and Lana thinks Lex saved her life, I wish I could tell her its me who did the saving but no I am just a pansy and would rather pint for her the rest of my life. My daddy visited me, how I miss him! I went to visit chloe to get some information, she is my dictionary. And Lionel Luthor knows my secret I fear he may tell Lex. I miss Lex we had some good times, sword fights, yelling matches, he bought me things, and he used to let me rub his head for luck....
ZOD is coming, I dont know who zod is but he must be bad.
I wonder when another meteor freak will cross pathes with me?
Soon I will embrace my destiny, no tights please, they chaf.

Lois bought me this thing, she is mean but just a secret between you and me I kinda like her.
Mom is calling, gotta go.
Love always
CK

[overman504]

Dear Diary

You suck. Thank you Louis for a glorified notebook that I will probably never use.

PS I need more friends. You'd think with all the people I've saved there'd be more people at my surprise birthday party. Ungrateful bastards!!! Ughh I hate my life.. shut up Clark... They probably couldnt make it to my party cause they were busy or something yea thats it... whew for a second there I thought I was a loser writing in a diary... wait a minute... NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! -CK out

[Baron Karza]

Dear Diary

I saw Lois naked again. Who needs x-ray vision with this girl around?

I milked the cow at super speed this morning. The vet says she may never walk again.

I'm too old to be sponging off my mom. I was thinking of getting a job. Maybe a paper route? If I run faster than the speed of light I can get the morning paper delivered last night. That should give me plenty of spare time to whine about Lana.

My mom is trying to pass legislation to allow all the black people to come back to Smallville. I sure do miss beating Pete at B-ball.

[Welling_is_pretty]

Originally posted by xrayvision
Tuesday:

I rented Cheaper by the Dozen 1 & 2. Man those movies sucked. I thought they were only worth a dozen cents. There's even a goofy looking guy that looks somewhat familiar. I think he's gay. I also bought some Dukes of Hazzard DVDs. Man, those 2 guys also seem familiar. I wonder if I'll ever have a car that flies---oops, my truck has flown & rolled a trillion more times than the General Lee. I also rented Cursed and saw something that made me choke on my juice. This dude named Michael Rosenbaum who looks so much like Lex had hair. I wonder if he is Segeeth. Only time will tell. I'm glad I never saw some Snow White TV movie that Chloe told me about. I heard bad things about that one. I think instead of Ebert & Roper, it should be Kent & Luthor. Me and my daddy Lionel, we're so awesome. I think next week I'll rent this strange movie called Superman. I wonder what it's about?

I milked the cow at super speed this morning. The vet says she may never walk again.

OMG! Funny....wrong in so many ways....but funny!

[xrayvision]

Wednesday:

Daddy Lionel opened up a strip joint today and took me as his VIP. When I went in, I saw Lois. I was looking at photos of Lana rather than watching Lois dance. My Lana, my lovely Lana. I could have sworn Lois took off her clothes and started jumping up and down in front of me. I wonder if she meant something by doing this? Anyway, to my horror, I saw Lana there as well. This was a bad thing. Little Clarkie got too excited---and well, lets just say I'm lucky I have superspeed to have gotten out of there before anyone saw me. I believe the Smallville Ledger's headline read "Drive by shooting at Smallville Strip". Bad Little Clarkie, bad!!

Things went from hard to soft---Mr. Softee that is. Daddy Lionel took me to the truck and we got snow cones. I thought I saw a bald headed dude driving it. Anyway, I started choking on my lime flavored snow cone. I also could have sworn I heard Lana's voice saying "I knew it". Knew what? How did she know I was allergic to lime snow cones? I never knew it myself until today.

Finally, we ended up at the Wild Coyote where Lionel gave me some of his stash. I think they renamed that place the Wild Peyote after we were done. Lionel had a bunch of single malt scotch shots while I had my specialty---a coke straight up on the rocks. Ahh, it was refreshing.

When I went home, I was stuffed and mom was pissed since she baked fresh pies. Mmmm, pie!!!! So we put them to good use and had a pie fight. Just as I threw the pie with my super strength, the doop opened with Lana and Henry Small and the pie hit Henry in the head, breaking his neck and killing him instantly. I am so sorry for using another one of your parents as target practice Lana. That's 3 for Clarkie and 0 for Lana's parents. My poor Lana. Lana, Lana, Lana!!!! I guess I better not use the line "who's your daddy" to her because I will just kill myself.

The day ended with me going to Lex. He asked me how I got out of the strip joint in time not to be caught. I told him I was lucky. He replied, "I find it strange that someone so lucky hasn't gotten lucky for a long time". Man he laughed and laughed, and continued to laugh at me. Well guess what Cueball, I hope you will enjoy years of only talking with her since I killed another daddy of Lana's. HAHAHA, Clarkie wins again!!

[Sage]

I actually really doubt that CK is going to write anything in that diary . I thought it was more like a back-up plan by the makers ... just in case they need to show in the future that CK decides to log his days ...and they made a nice move with Lois presenting him that diary .

Of course it fits nicely if the story were to head into a relationship b/w Lois and Clark ...the diary would be the perfect place for Clarky to write his feelings down . ..

[Miss L]

May 9th

Zod is coming. I wonder if he'll have an entourage. Maybe there'll be a big festival in Smallville for his arrival. Oh! I hope there's a circus! No, wait, I'm afraid of clowns. I forgot about that. Too painful to remember. Maybe I should get him a welcome basket. Mom made some yummy preserves last fall, I could tie them with pretty ribbons, add some cookies and pie and present the basket when he gets here.

No. Wait. Something's wrong. I have a sense of...of...forboding.(Excuse me while I go look that word up). Back now. I think this Zod might be bad news. I...I have a strong urge to go out and buy some blue tights. And wear them for Zod's arrival.

But do blue tights look good with scruffy hair?

[mortalreckoning]

May 10th, 2006

Zod is coming...or so his advance people tell me
I want to see the good in everyone but rumor has it he's baaad...

I guess I should go tell Chloe and ask her what to do next
These days I just can't seem to do anything without her...she's such a pal!

Lois asked if she could come and meet Zod tomorrow...officially as Mom's chief-of-staff, she says, but I saw that twinkle in her eye

I told her it was for guys only and besides she has to fly with Mom to Topeka

anyway, I'll update tomorrow after Lionel, Lex and I see what this dude Zod wants

[lunarhythm]

XRAYVISION your posts are hilarious. Thanks for the laughs.