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What will Clark write in his new journal?

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  • #31
    Dear Diary,

    I can't believe Chloe got me such a crappy gift! I mean,what else would i write in it other than" I'm a superfly alien who's saved my airhead (now ex) girlfriend more times this year than i have attended classes?" Didin't Chloe realize that this diary could be more of a danger than the key(which went where?) and any other concrete proof that could be traced back to me? Damn Chloe,your reporter instincts were WAY off on this one.What's that? You figured i'd write it in Kryptonian so nobody could understand it? What a great idea!! That way,if Lex or somebody finds it,they won't be able to tell what i wrote it ! They'll just wonder how the hell i was able to write in Kryptonian! Grrrrrr.....Don't worry Chloe,i know about a certain mole on a certain persons cheek that could use some removing ala heat vision.Thanks for the craptastic gift!
    CK

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    • #32
      Entry 1

      Lois gave me this cool journal for my birthday. There are times I think she doesn't know me at all. And then there are times I think she knows me better than anyone.


      Entry 2

      Lionel makes a really good Pete. I wonder if he's any good at basketball.


      Entry 3

      I saved Lex again today. Or did I? I'm not sure. It was really confusing in that lab.


      Entry 4

      I gave Chloe another project today. I let her figure out the code from Zod. She loves it when she thinks she's smarter than me. I can't believe she fell for it. Like I can't read Kryptonian. LOL.
      Last edited by Watching Smallville; 05-07-2006, 05:14 PM.

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      • #33
        Originally posted by Watching Smallville
        Entry 1

        Lois gave me this cool journal for my birthday. There are times I think she doesn't know me at all. And then there are times I think she knows be better than anyone.


        Entry 2

        Lionel makes a really good Pete. I wonder if he's any good at basketball.


        Entry 3

        I saved Lex again today. Or did I? I'm not sure. It was really confusing in that lab.


        Entry 4

        I gave Chloe another project today. I let her figure out the code from Zod. She loves it when she thinks she's smarter than me. I can't believe she fell for it. Like I can't read Kryptonian. LOL.
        LMAO...

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        • #34
          Journal Entry #1 (cause "dear Diary" would be way too girly and I have enough problems with that sort of thing as it is!):

          Well, another fun filled day in Smallville and Metropolis. Pissed Lana off (good! Little pink wearing, squirrely can't talk above a whisper two timing dating my former best friend tramp!), made Chloe do all my work for me again, blamed Lionel and Lex for everything, made up with Lionel, met my Dad--actually it was Professor Fine pretending to be my Dad which I should have been suspicious of; I mean, how many times have I encountered a shapeshifter? Tina Greer , anyone?, had a fight with Lex (bald jerk, see if I ever flirt with him again!), and Lois came on to me.

          Why do I stay in this hick town? Ah, the good old days of being Kal, now that was fun. Marrying crazy chicks (Alicia, Alicia, Alicia!), working for evil guys, flirting with Lex....those were the days.

          I need to go find some Red K. And then find Chloe. Or Lois. Or Lex. Or Lionel. Or maybe all of them.

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          • #35
            lol you guys are hilarious

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            • #36
              May 7th
              Just finished fixing the barn again. Seems like every time I turn around someone’s been thrown through something or something’s been thrown through someone. Maybe I should schedule my next fight scene for a big open field and save myself some work.

              Speaking of saving myself some work, I’ve finally got Chloe doing all of my brain work. I knew eventually I could manipulate her into that. Now I don’t have to think for myself at all. I should have stayed in school. I could be sneaking all my papers into her workload. She’d never notice!

              Next I think I’ll try to train Milton Fine to do all my farmwork. Then I can just sit up here and brood all I want. Mom can bring me food and I’ll never have to move again.
              Yeah.
              That’s the plan.

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              • #37
                Sunday:

                Today I went hunting with my new dad, Lionel. We went to our cabin and got our rifles, courtesy of Luthorcorp security. Damn, where's that Pete with the Lemon Pledge.

                Anyway, I saw a deer and aimed, but suddenly Lana popped out of nowhere and decided to go frolicking in the forest with her animal friends. What the hell? She's supposed to play with horses, not deer. Anyway, I realized that she hadn't been in mortal danger yet, so I decided to pull the trigger and save her by catching the bullet, but before I could do it, I was already beaten to the punch by the vice president. At least I stopped the bullet. Let's see your Lex do that Lana. The cool part was that she pissed herself and I stole her clothes before she had a chance to change. I'll have to thank Daddy Lionel for that one later.

                Daddy Lionel took me to a special horticulture course that taught us how to successfully grow Nicodemus flowers. I grew one for Chloe, so once I get access to some red-k, the 2 of us will take a long vacation.

                I got a good idea to open up a Starbucks right next to the Talon. Lionel & I hired some cheerleaders whose parents just missed getting hit by meteors to run it. Long story short, our Starbucks is expanding and taking over the Talon. That's what you get Lana for bothering me with secrets & lies accusations all those years.

                After lunch, Lionel & I put stolen license plates on Lana's car. We got popcorn and candy while we watched Lana mop the hospital floors in a dark blue jumpsuit. It was even funnier than usual since Lana was crying that the jumpsuit wasn't pink.

                I just wish my previous dad did all these fun things with me. Too bad I was an idiot and destroyed the ship since I didn't want it to take me away from Lana. It could have saved him. I'm just too stupid though.

                Just before dinner, I went to do some karaoke and set up a nice playlist of songs with an alien theme to sing (from Starship and Foreigner), but Lana was oblivious to the theme I was getting at, as usual.

                After dinner, I realized I could finally fly, so I grabbed Pete and we took a nosedive and pulled out of it just before hitting the ground. He got a bigger rush than any other stunt he pulled. He was sweating so much that I gave him some Red Zone, and then a bar of Ivory to hose himself down with. Chloe stopped by, and I took her up for some nosedives & loops too. Unfortunately, Lana also showed up in the middle of all the action and found out my secret, but the best thing ever was the look on her face when she found out what she will be missing out on. I told Lana not to worry since she can always fly in Lex's Porsche.

                It was a great day in Smallville. Tomorrow, Lionel will teach me how to use heat vision in conjunction with my telescope to turn it into a heat cannon. Lionel also plans to show me where he's been hiding Julian all along. I can't wait to see the look on Lex's face when he sees me hanging out with his long lost brother before him. We also plan to rename Luthorcorp to Kent Korp. CK out.
                Last edited by xrayvision; 05-07-2006, 08:03 PM.

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                • #38
                  All of ya'll are hysterical. LOVING it!!! MORE MORE MORE!
                  shirkie

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                  • #39

                    You guys are wild!

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                    • #40
                      This has been my favorite thread to date. I like to look at the lighter side of things to keep my mind off of the things I don't like about the series.

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                      • #41
                        Entry 5

                        Even though Lana and I broke up, I know she's going to send me a birthday card. Can't wait to find out what it says.


                        Entry 6

                        Lana's card is late. I'm going down to the Smallville post office to make sure they didn't deliver it to the wrong address.


                        Entry 7

                        It's been two days, and I still haven't gotten Lana's card. I bet Lex bribed one of the Smallville postal carriers. That guy can be so competitive sometimes.


                        Entry 8

                        I asked Chloe to ask Lana when she sent my card, and Chloe said Lana didn't send me a card this year. I wonder if Chloe still has feelings for me. I just can't trust anyone these days.


                        Entry 9

                        I went to the Luthor mansion to warn Lex about bribing the postal carriers, and Lana was there. When I told her Lex had stolen her card, she said she didn't sent me a card this year. Sometimes I think we 're not meant to be together after all.

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                        • #42
                          Entry xxxx:

                          Today I saw Lex & Lana in his Porsche ready to leave. I told Lana my days of saving her are over. She s--t herself instantly and got out of the Porsche. Boy did it stink. My lovely, stinky Lana!!! The funniest thing was that Lex gave me his Porsche for free. What a deal. I bet Jor-El can give it a supernatural cleaning.

                          Entry 8888888:

                          Today I went shopping at the Supermarket. I saw Lex there, and we got into an argument after I found him in the feminine products isle. He tried to throw something at me, but I sprayed him in the eyes with girly fizz. The best part was that when he went back home, Lana thought he was cheating on her and yelled at him. Woohoo, I loved it!!!!! So much fun in Smallville!!
                          Last edited by xrayvision; 05-07-2006, 09:35 PM.

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                          • #43
                            Dear Diary:

                            Got a phone call from some kid that works at the Planet, calls himself "Big Jimmy" He said he got my message and was returning the call. That's weird, usually when people get my messages they drive three hours to come up to my loft for two minutes. He might not have a car, he sounded like he was twelve, but that's no excuse, he should have walked. It's only a three hour drive.

                            Anyway he said he wanted to know what "Big alien freak story" Chloe was working on and wanted some money to keep quiet. When I asked him how he knew what we were talking about he just laughed and said "An 'ace' reporter, a 'cow farming' politician's son, and a 'successful' billionaire. I would have thought the three of you together would have been at least smart enough to not talk about an alien language in the middle of the Daily Planet's basement press room!" I don't know what that kid was talking about, we were being totally discreet AND quiet.

                            Anyway I'll just go over to Lex's mansion and guilt him into giving me money . . . again. What a sucker! My dad would be so proud of me!

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                            • #44
                              Entry 1: Man I shouldn't have broken it off with Lana

                              Entry 2: Whats up with Lana, she's like mad at me or something

                              Entry 3: Sometimes I feel like Lois knows me better than anybody.

                              Entry 4: Wait, who's Lois? She's the blonde, right?

                              Entry 5: Chloe is smart, just yesterday she taught me to tie my own shoes.

                              Two bee contenued...

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                              • #45
                                Originally posted by Watching Smallville
                                Entry 5

                                Even though Lana and I broke up, I know she's going to send me a birthday card. Can't wait to find out what it says.


                                Entry 6

                                Lana's card is late. I'm going down to the Smallville post office to make sure they didn't deliver it to the wrong address.


                                Entry 7

                                It's been two days, and I still haven't gotten Lana's card. I bet Lex bribed one of the Smallville postal carriers. That guy can be so competitive sometimes.


                                Entry 8

                                I asked Chloe to ask Lana when she sent my card, and Chloe said Lana didn't send me a card this year. I wonder if Chloe still has feelings for me. I just can't trust anyone these days.


                                Entry 9

                                I went to the Luthor mansion to warn Lex about bribing the postal carriers, and Lana was there. When I told her Lex had stolen her card, she said she didn't sent me a card this year. Sometimes I think we 're not meant to be together after all.


                                LMMFAO!

                                This one was genius!

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