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  • #16
    Friends

    Chandler: Why yes, a piece of gum would be perfection.

    I love Lucy

    Ricky: Lucy, in the fifiteen years we have been married, this is the craziest stunt you've ever pulled!

    George Reeves(Superman): Wait a minute. You're telling me you've been married to this lady for fifteen years?

    Ricky: Yes we have been married for fifteen years!

    George Reeves: And they call me Superman!
    Last edited by VersesBatman; 05-06-2004, 06:33 AM.

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    • #17
      I love that last one, Verses. (Very appropriate for this board, too!)

      I could quote from "MASH," "Monk," and "MST3K" all day long! Here are some from each (hope it's not an overwhelming amount).

      From "Monk" (the show about the obsessive-compulsive detective, for those who haven't seen it):

      Monk (explaining why he won't sit on the ground): "Animals do things on the ground. Terrible, terrible things."

      Monk (trapped in a cave and answering his cell phone): "Hello? Can't talk now, I'm trapped in a cave."

      Sharona, Monk's assistant: "You know when you can drive? When hell freezes over, then you can drive. No, you know what? Even if hell does freeze over, you can't drive, because I don't want you driving on the ice."

      Police captain: "We'd like permission to search your pie."
      Suspect: "What?"
      Captain: "Please, don't make me say that again."

      Psychiatrist: "The answer is inside of you."
      Monk: "No, the answer isn't inside of me. It's inside of you. If you told it to me, I would hear it, and THEN it would be inside of me."

      From "MASH":

      Henry: "Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank."
      Hawkeye: "Well said, Henry."

      Henry (after someone tries to blow him up): "BOOM!"

      Radar: "Ah, Bach!"

      And I can't remember the exact lines, but I love the scene where Hawkeye teaches the Korean kids to call Frank "Ferret Face."

      From "MST3K":

      Mike: "Okay, hold it. Everyone go up a shirt size."

      A guy in a Japanese movie is dressed like a lounge singer.
      Mike (singing): "When I was Japanese, it was a very good year. . ."

      Guy in movie: "Come back here! I'll kill you!"
      Mike: "Actually, that's more of a disincentive."

      Guy in movie: "What happened to [the co-pilot of the space shuttle]?"
      Mike: "He kept babbling about truth and beauty, so I shot him out the airlock."

      From the blooper video --
      Joel: "Kind of makes you wonder what the next line is, doesn't it?"

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      • #18
        MST3K

        A woman speaks Spanish: Por Favor?

        Crow: *snickers* Yeah right!

        Another woman starts to speak in a very bad English accent

        Mike: Oh cut it out you two. You're both from Nebraska.
        Last edited by VersesBatman; 05-07-2004, 10:59 AM.

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        • #19
          The Amanda Show at Nickelodeon:

          Foreighn video rental manager: This movie better.

          FVRM´s children: MUCH BETTER!!


          Penelope: I need to see Amanda, please!


          Kyle: Totally!


          Tony Pyjamas: I´m stah-ving ova´ he´e!


          Courtney: Mwa-haa!

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          • #20
            Originally posted by VersesBatman
            MST3K

            A woman speaks Spanish: Por Favor?

            Crow: *snickers* Yeah right!

            Another woman starts to speak in a very bad English accnet

            Mike: Oh cut it out you two. You're both from Nebraska.
            Oh, yes, I love those!

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            • #21
              More quotes from MASH, when Frank gets really drunk.

              Frank: (singing) A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I ... I got a gal from Kalamazoo.
              Hawkeye: Frank!
              Frank: Zoo.

              Hawkeye: Frank, you do requests?
              Frank: Yep
              Hawkeye: Shut your cakehole!
              Frank (sings): Oh shut your cakehole...

              Frank: I've got brains as big as hers are!
              (to which Hawk opens his eyes and you have to see the look on his face )

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              • #22
                MST3K

                A villian gives an evil laugh

                Joel: Ohhhhhhh, observational humor! God I love Seinfeld!

                A heroine is locked in a cage and looks for a means to escape.

                Joel: A paperclip, string and coal. What would Macgyver do?

                Some cavemen are eating in a cave.

                Tom Servo: See Grog throw bone in air. Watch it turn into spaceship.

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                • #23
                  Oh, you just reminded me of another "MST3K" line (though I forget who said it):

                  "Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"

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                  • #24
                    Married with Children

                    Al: I'm gonna hate these people.
                    Peg: You will not hate them, they are very nice.
                    Al: If they were nice, they'd be dead and I'd be at the game

                    Al: Who called Vancouver? Peg, did your mother get so fat she spread across the border?

                    [Al comes in and bucket falls on his head]
                    Peg: Al, did you have to come home?
                    Al: Well, the summer house was closed up. The yacht was in dry dock. So I figured, what the hell, I'll go to the ghetto home.
                    Marcie: We're waiting for Steve.
                    Al: So the bucket of death wasn't meant for me.

                    MST3K

                    [When the eskimos' find out there could be a war]
                    Joel: There's nothing more tragic than a war in an Eskimo village.

                    [While opening theme is playing]
                    Crow: Music by the Edgar Allen Poe Marching Band!

                    [As Jimmy writes a farewell note to his mother]
                    Crow(As Jimmy): I'll just put this over here next to mom's suicide note.
                    Last edited by EmperorZoom; 05-08-2004, 01:24 AM.

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                    • #25
                      Spin City, the one where Christopher Lloyd had a guest appearance as Owen:

                      Owen: Micheal Flaherty!
                      Mike: Owen! Look at you. I'll tell ya, this is eeh, this is like stepping back in time.
                      Owen: The past was the prologue, Micheal. Men like us have to keep looking to the future.
                      Mike: What the heck are you talking about?

                      And ofcourse the quote from The Invisible man in my sig!

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by EmperorZoom
                        Married with Children

                        Al: I'm gonna hate these people.
                        Peg: You will not hate them, they are very nice.
                        Al: If they were nice, they'd be dead and I'd be at the game

                        Al: Who called Vancouver? Peg, did your mother get so fat she spread across the border?

                        [Al comes in and bucket falls on his head]
                        Peg: Al, did you have to come home?
                        Al: Well, the summer house was closed up. The yacht was in dry dock. So I figured, what the hell, I'll go to the ghetto home.
                        Marcie: We're waiting for Steve.
                        Al: So the bucket of death wasn't meant for me.

                        MST3K

                        [When the eskimos' find out there could be a war]
                        Joel: There's nothing more tragic than a war in an Eskimo village.

                        [While opening theme is playing]
                        Crow: Music by the Edgar Allen Poe Marching Band!

                        [As Jimmy writes a farewell note to his mother]
                        Crow(As Jimmy): I'll just put this over here next to mom's suicide note.
                        I love "I accuse my parents"!

                        [Jimmy walks into a chair]
                        Joel: Oo, my area!

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                        • #27
                          Married with Children :

                          Al : "Marcy, I'd call you a chicken but I don't see any breasts".


                          Bud : " Jeez Kel, do you remember when you were in that van with the bumper sticker "If this van's a rockin, don't come a knockin"

                          Kelly : "That can be taken a lot of different ways"

                          Bud : " Yeah, and so can you".

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                          • #28
                            MST3K

                            "...And the Lord said DIE CHILDREN DIE!!" -Joel

                            "Any similarity to actual persons would be really sad." -Tom Servo

                            "Can I show you something in a size *me*?" -Crow (as Jimmy).

                            "Help me, Obi Wan...oh, wrong movie." -Crow

                            "I'd rather share a needle with Keith Richards." -Tom Servo (as Ken).

                            "I'd slap this movie if I could." -Tom Servo

                            "I hate movies where the men wear shorter skirts than the women." -Crow

                            "I have the feeling *Satan* would regret making this movie." -Mike

                            "Let's crap in our hands and throw it at people! Heh heh... You know, no matter how much you evolve, that's still damn funny." -Crow (as Ape Lieutenant)

                            "Meanwhile, at Kurt Cobain's house..." -Tom Servo.

                            "Oscar Wilde only *wished* he were this gay." -Joel

                            "Outtakes from the Manson Family Christmas." -Crow


                            The Simpsons

                            "All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer."-Homer

                            "If he is so smart, how come he is dead?"-Homer

                            "Kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers."-Homer

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                            • #29
                              Another "Monk" line. . . .

                              Monk: "Are you trying to kill me? It's okay if you are. I just need to know."

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                              • #30
                                as soon as i saw this i thought of the "we were on a break!" line.

                                Friends

                                The thanksgiving/football episode. Chandler and Joey are fighting over the dutch girl.

                                Chandler: Joey, where are the dutch from?

                                Joey: Umm...

                                Chandler: Isn't it somewhere near the netherlands?

                                Joey: Oh no you can't trick me. I know that is wher Peter Pan lives.

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