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  • #16
    Absolute PERFECTION!!!!

    WOW!!! I'm totally blown away right now!! All I wanna do is prance around with a giddy smile on my face and imagine what would've happened if TPTB had had you on their creative/writing team way back at the beginning of it all. Seriously, this story is made of awesome!

    Have I mentioned how much I love young!Chloe, because she is not only adorable, she's incredible. I just love how, even in the face of such terror and confusion as the meteor shower, she was pretty calm, cool and collected. Sure, she had her moments, but I know a few adults that wouldn't have handled the situation as well as she did. I simply love that, after Moira left to check on the Kents, Chloe was almost instantly concerned about the whereabouts of her library book. I mean, talk about priorities! The kid has just been through a natural, or unnatural as the case may be, disaster, and she's thinking about her book and how she has to find it so she doesn't get in trouble and so she'll be able to borrow more books from the library in the future. Sounds like Chloe to me.

    What really made it special was her thinking back on what Gabe used to tell her whenever she'd lose something. I know he wasn't actually in the story, but it was nice to see the connection Chloe has with him and that he was a good father before he disappeared from Chloe's life years later. Plus, I just love seeing how Chloe's mind, even as a child, works, so logical and matter-of-fact. Also, I love how she keeps fighting back her instinct to cry because she doesn't wanna be a baby. She seems rather obsessed with being a grown up, which seems fitting for her personality.

    Anyway, as Chloe's journey for her book continues, I love how she has highs and lows, first when she thinks she's found the book only to realize that it's just the plastic cover, and again when she actually finds the book lying in the dirt path cut by Clark's ship landing in the field. Her joy and excitement at finding her book was breathtaking in it's purity and scope. It felt like she'd found her long lost friend or something. Of course, her moment of joy was fleeting, and the reason behind it was where things really started to get interesting.

    I was so not expecting Jor-El to reach out to Chloe with his disembodied voice. At first, I was wondering why he'd do that, since, on the show, Clark got out of his ship just fine and found the Kents like he was supposed to. Still, I was intrigued, and I love that Chloe was also intrigued rather than frightened that some strange voice was calling to her, telling her things she had no business knowing. What I find most curious is the connection she seemed to feel for Clark, even though she'd never met or even seen him. Jor-El obviously told her about Clark, but there had to be something more going on for her to run toward the ship and be so anxious to open it, to save Clark, that she almost couldn't wait for Jor-El to make the ship safe for her to touch. I wonder if Jor-El forged some kind of bond between Chloe and Clark, or if, like the Kents, she was chosen to play an important role in Clark's life before he was ever sent to earth. The whole destiny thing on SV makes it possible for Chloe to have always been chosen for Clark, long before either of them even existed. After all, the Kawatche people had painted the story of Clark and Lex on the cave wall centuries before either of them existed.

    Anyway, I love Chloe's enthusiasm about getting to Clark and helping him and the way she just knew she was meant to be the one to save him, almost like he belonged to her and her to him. Of course, after Chloe opened the ship, my heart began to sink, because something was clearly wrong, and Chloe knew it. It never occurred to me that there was kryponite in and around the ship that was killing Clark. I would've thought that the ship would've neutralized any kryptonite in the immediate area in order to protect Clark. Still, I gotta give Chloe credit for refusing to give up, and I really loved it when she actually got mad that Clark wasn't waking up, that it seemed like she was losing him. She may act like an adult most of the time, but she's still a child. I'm curious to know if the reason she started throwing the meteor rocks away was because she instinctively knew they were hurting Clark or if Jor-El told her. Either way, her tenderness and care toward Clark was 'aww' worthy. I swear, it felt like she'd already fallen in love with him.

    My heart absolutely broke when, after Chloe got rid of the kryptonite, Clark still didn't wake up. I just knew he didn't make it, that he'd been exposed too long. Moira's confirmation of it made it hurt that much more. Still, I love how Chloe stubbornly refused to give up, that she'd done what she was meant to do and he was supposed to wake up no matter what. I especially love how Chloe clung to him even as her mother tried to pull her away. That's the kind of love and loyalty we've come to expect from Chloe with regards to Clark, and I loved seeing it so early on in her and their relationship. One huge question I have is how did Chloe know she could heal Clark? I get that Jor-El must've said something to her, but how did he even know? Is it the whole destiny thing, or did the ship detect the kryptonite in Chloe and know that kryptonite causes mutations that carry with them certain abilities? Regardless of how she found out she was capable of healing/reviving Clark, how did she know how to actually do it? Was it simply her wishing him to be healed/revived, or was it some instinctual thing where she just knew she had/wanted to help him, and her power took care of the rest?

    Anyway, the emotion of this piece is truly spectacular. I could really feel what Chloe and Moira were feeling. Plus, their reactions to their circumstances felt very real and true to who they are. Moira, being a mother, was concerned only for her daughter's welfare, and her actions showed that. I mean, I know she had to go to Chloe when she heard her calling, but a small part of me was upset that she just left the Kents in their overturned truck. But, Moira did what any good mother would do, so I can't fault her. Of course, Moira's reaction to the ship and Clark and Chloe's fascination with them was...interesting. I get that, as an adult who doesn't believe in aliens, she was having a hard time reconciling what she was seeing with her own two eyes, but it was still kinda funny watching her try to deny what she was seeing. Also, I can't blame her for not wanting Chloe anywhere near the ship or Clark and for worrying that the whole mental illness thing might be hereditary, especially if Chloe was really hearing voices. However, as a mother, I was a bit disappointed that she simply left Clark there and didn't even try to get him help. Yes, she figured he was dead, but if Chloe had been lying there 'dead', Moira would've taken her and rushed to the nearest hospital not simply left her there. Still, Moira was clearly afraid for Chloe and for her entire family's welfare should it be discovered that she'd seen a spaceship and alien up close, so I can't be too hard on her. Plus, Chloe screamed and collapsed, so her instincts told her to get Chloe away from there and get her help. Family first is a very human instinct, and you can't fault anyone for choosing their family over a stranger.

    Oddly, I wasn't concerned with Chloe's welfare after she healed Clark. I mean, if this is a revised beginning of Smallville, then there's no way she would be permanently dead. Plus, you aren't partial to the angst like me. In any event, it was intriguing to see the origin of Moira's power. It makes perfect sense that Moira, wanting to protect Chloe, ordered her to obey her and do whatever she told her to do from then on. Of course, I didn't think that extended to forgetting things that had happened. Then again, now that I think of it, Chloe had no memory of what she did on the show when under Moira's control, but that was while she was performing a task. I didn't think ordering her not to remember something constituted an actual task. Anyway, I fully bought Moira's power origin, but what really surprised me was that she was capable of using her power on herself. I didn't think such a thing was possible. Then again, Chloe can heal herself, so I guess it is possible.

    In any event, I love the way you so neatly wrapped things up with Moira and Chloe and their part in Clark's arrival on earth. It fit perfectly within the mythology and yet it added something completely new and so very wonderful that enriched it greatly. The best part is that you didn't change any of the events that happened afterward and yet you showed us something new that could've easily happened during the time-frame in which you've set the story. In other words, you are a genius. Oh, and I adore the little epilogue where we see Clark wake up. It's so great that Clark remembered Chloe, even though he'd never actually met her. It's gotta be destiny. And I love, love, love that the reason he was smiling is because he knew that Chloe was in this new world and that he'd meet her some day, and because she was in this new world, it was now home. As the title of this post says, Absolute PERFECTION!!!!

    Author’s note: I’m sure I left people with a few questions. So a few thoughts. Ok, more than a few.
    First off: My reasoning on how meteor powers form.
    Exposure is the first part. Since Chloe had such a pure concentration in her heart, it seemed logical that she was more than just exposed to it, but that she breathed it in right from the source and it got into her blood stream.
    After exposure, the second part of acquiring a meteor power comes from something around the subject or on their mind. Surroundings, location, activity, a fear, a great need, a lingering thought- there is always some kind of connection. It seemed logical to me that Moira’s ability was triggered when she desperately needed Chloe to obey her. So what would trigger Chloe’s ability to heal even death? Someone had to need healing, even from death. That brings us to Clark and his ship.

    We know the ship could be harmed by kryptonite (a kryptonite key would make the whole thing explode) and a ton of the rock came down with the meteor shower so it made sense that it would harm the ship’s systems, in this case, the life support. The ship didn’t wake him from his induced slumber and then to make matters worse, chunks of green rocks actually fell on him. I theorized that at that stage – before the yellow sun had time to fully charge up his cells, Clark would be extra vulnerable to the rocks, hence the kryptonite out and out killed him rather than just making him sick and hurt and therefore it took Chloe’s special intervention to revive him, not just the removal of the green rocks.

    When the ship came down and the kryptonite exposure started to harm it, I figure Jor-El AI would come on line . He reaches out and his plea for help and glimpse into Clark’s mind affects Chloe in a deep and profound manner. She has no self-serving (or self-protecting) barriers. She’s completely open and in an instant, a powerful connection between she and Clark is made. Jor-El doesn’t trigger her powers but her need to save Clark at all costs does. Speaking of her power.

    Between the two times Chloe used her power on the show to revive first Lois and then Lex, the toll on her jumped exponentially. So working backward, I calculated that the very first time she used her power she would have only been “dead” for a few minutes.

    Then Moira activated her power and buried that ability and everything connected to it. And yes, Moira used her power of persuasion on herself as well so neither Chloe nor Moira remember what happened, but nothing was ever the same again. Moira leaves her family for the first time about a year later when Chloe is five. (Then came back until she committed herself when Chloe was eight, but she must have stayed in some kind of contact since Chloe said she last saw her mom when she was 12.)

    So that’s what was going through my mind. I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments.
    Thanks
    All of this makes perfect sense! You've thought of everything, which means you've thought about this a lot, and I'm so glad you did, because this is one of my favorite stories EVER.

    Thank you so incredibly much for writing and sharing this with us, Mel!!!! You are so frickin' awesome, babes!!!! *smishes you*

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    • #17
      BabyDee Wow. Absolutely stunning piece of work here, Mel. I'll have to come back and leave a detailed review, but I just had to come and doff my hat to you for giving us the true origin of Chlark in all its glory. This is my canon from now on!

      Well done, babes. Loved it; Chlark at their absolute best View Post
      Aww, thank you my dear. I am kind of happy with how the action/disaster stuff turned out. The whole idea is a little off my normal range but the quoted that I quoted about "why was I chosen" to have such a power has always stuck with me and one day the answer jumped in my head and took over from there. I really enjoyed going back and making everything still fit. So glad you enjoyed it.


      Jlvsclrk

      Absolutely delightful, not to mention a great explanation of the origin of Chloe and Moira's meteor abilities
      Thank you! Moira was very interesting to write, we know so little about her except for her desire to protect her daughter, but Chloe, she was fun because even shrunk down to her wee self, her personality still was there, just distilled down to its more basic form.

      Comment


      • #18
        The Fallen Sky
        WOW!!! I'm totally blown away right now!! All I wanna do is prance around with a giddy smile on my face and imagine what would've happened if TPTB had had you on their creative/writing team way back at the beginning of it all. Seriously, this story is made of awesome!
        Sits back and beams. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. I have to wonder though if the show had at some point planned something kinda like this, maybe not the Chloe saves Clark but certainly Chloe and Moira caught in the Meteor Shower. ALl the pieces were right there.

        Have I mentioned how much I love young!Chloe, because she is not only adorable, she's incredible. I just love how, even in the face of such terror and confusion as the meteor shower, she was pretty calm, cool and collected. Sure, she had her moments, but I know a few adults that wouldn't have handled the situation as well as she did
        .

        I have to confess, in your prior review of chapter 1 when you praised Chloe for keeping her cool, I wondered just a bit if you were mocking me. I did spend some time rethinking if I found Chloe's reactions believable or not. In the end, I did throw in the scene with Moira offering Chloe some comfort after the meteor hits but otherwise, I think there are some kids that would react rather unfazed. Actually, I think I was kind of that kid.

        Can't say I ever found an alien ship or hid when the sky was falling, but I remember being in a mild car accident like Chloe and her mom around that age and my dad asked if everyone was ok, my brother and I looked at each other and said yes and no one got upset. It was cool when the police showed up.

        My parents weren't the type to freak out and we followed their lead at least about the big stuff (I remember throwing fits if I lost my fav stuffed animal). If something went wrong I grew up just assuming everything would eventually work out since it always did. Sure, bad stuff happens, and not everything can be fixed but all you can do is move forward. I didn't even realize other people didn't think exactly like that until years later. When I was about 18 my dad had a real terrible infection in his foot. They ended up taking half his leg. Friends of my parents started worrying about my brother and I cause they didn't think we understood the seriousness of the situation. (aka we weren't crying or upset or mad) It never occurred to me to get upset. Hey, the choice was keep the leg and dad will die or ditch it and he lives. Not a hard choice for anyone in the family.

        Anyway, I've wandered down this odd tangent long enough, I just meant to say that I do think there are real kids out there that would react without much drama. Either they have something uniquely special about them or they just are too ignorant to know they should be freaking out. I think Chloe is a combo of both (my brother and I were mostly the later).


        I simply love that, after Moira left to check on the Kents, Chloe was almost instantly concerned about the whereabouts of her library book. I mean, talk about priorities! The kid has just been through a natural, or unnatural as the case may be, disaster, and she's thinking about her book and how she has to find it so she doesn't get in trouble and so she'll be able to borrow more books from the library in the future. Sounds like Chloe to me.
        Hey, library books are HER responsibility. They are a privilege that can be taken away so while her mom was off doing mom things, a girl does have to get her priorities in order.

        What really made it special was her thinking back on what Gabe used to tell her whenever she'd lose something. I know he wasn't actually in the story, but it was nice to see the connection Chloe has with him and that he was a good father before he disappeared from Chloe's life years later. Plus, I just love seeing how Chloe's mind, even as a child, works, so logical and matter-of-fact.
        She had to have been trained (even if it was unintentional) from a very young age to be methodical and dogged about any kind of research for her to be so awesome at it later.

        Also, I love how she keeps fighting back her instinct to cry because she doesn't wanna be a baby. She seems rather obsessed with being a grown up, which seems fitting for her personality.
        A strength and a fault, always trying to push back and control her emotions. A case of sometimes too much of a good thing.

        Anyway, as Chloe's journey for her book continues, I love how she has highs and lows, first when she thinks she's found the book only to realize that it's just the plastic cover, and again when she actually finds the book lying in the dirt path cut by Clark's ship landing in the field. Her joy and excitement at finding her book was breathtaking in it's purity and scope. It felt like she'd found her long lost friend or something. Of course, her moment of joy was fleeting, and the reason behind it was where things really started to get interesting.
        Does it show that I love books too? I had another sneaky purpose in showing how much Chloe loved her book and that came when she got the call from Clark and just dropped the book and forgot about it. Yep, she has her priorities perfectly straight.

        I was so not expecting Jor-El to reach out to Chloe with his disembodied voice. At first, I was wondering why he'd do that, since, on the show, Clark got out of his ship just fine and found the Kents like he was supposed to
        .
        On the show we saw Clark find the Kents and then the Kents find the spaceship. We never saw how Clark got out of the ship. Once the AI Jor-El recognized something was wrong (probably as the ship and the other meteors hit the atmosphere and started to get too close to each other) he would have started making contingency plans. I mean, don't you think it was odd that if Jor-EL planned for his son to go to the Kents that his ship goes down in the middle of a cornfield? Add to the coincidence that the Kents were coming on down the road just at the right time. Wouldn't a better flight plan have been for the ship to land in the Kent's back yard, quietly when they were home? Perhaps the whole meteor shower was an unexpected side effect of Krypton exploding too soon and all the poisoned pieces getting sucked up in the path of the escape ships. Kara's ship crashed too. Neither ship were immune to Kryptonite.

        The Kryptonite heavy meteors that surrounded the ship would explain a more random crash (but still targeted near the Kents- maybe the best Jor-El could do) But Clark needed help sooner than the Kents and actual destiny steps in and gives them Chloe as a solution, his destined and true one (I mean is it really destiny that he ends up with the Kents if his dad pre-picked them out and his mom even made trips to check out the house ahead of time?) Chloe being there was the perfectly unexpected gift that made her Clark's true one, always there when he needs her most. But I get ahead of myself.


        Still, I was intrigued, and I love that Chloe was also intrigued rather than frightened that some strange voice was calling to her, telling her things she had no business knowing. What I find most curious is the connection she seemed to feel for Clark, even though she'd never met or even seen him. Jor-El obviously told her about Clark, but there had to be something more going on for her to run toward the ship and be so anxious to open it, to save Clark, that she almost couldn't wait for Jor-El to make the ship safe for her to touch. I wonder if Jor-El forged some kind of bond between Chloe and Clark, or if, like the Kents, she was chosen to play an important role in Clark's life before he was ever sent to earth. The whole destiny thing on SV makes it possible for Chloe to have always been chosen for Clark, long before either of them even existed. After all, the Kawatche people had painted the story of Clark and Lex on the cave wall centuries before either of them existed.
        In my mind, Jor-El explained who and why Clark was in his ship and then formed a mental bridge between Clark and Chloe, maybe even accidentally since Jor-El would have until that time been the voice teaching Clark and keeping him company. When Jor-El reached out to Chloe, her mind formed a connection to Clarks and they both felt each other from the inside. As pure a connection as possible.

        Anyway, I love Chloe's enthusiasm about getting to Clark and helping him and the way she just knew she was meant to be the one to save him, almost like he belonged to her and her to him. Of course, after Chloe opened the ship, my heart began to sink, because something was clearly wrong, and Chloe knew it. It never occurred to me that there was kryponite in and around the ship that was killing Clark. I would've thought that the ship would've neutralized any kryptonite in the immediate area in order to protect Clark.
        Once it occurred to me, I couldn't believe that there wasn't Kryptonite everywhere around the ship.

        Still, I gotta give Chloe credit for refusing to give up, and I really loved it when she actually got mad that Clark wasn't waking up, that it seemed like she was losing him. She may act like an adult most of the time, but she's still a child. I'm curious to know if the reason she started throwing the meteor rocks away was because she instinctively knew they were hurting Clark or if Jor-El told her. Either way, her tenderness and care toward Clark was 'aww' worthy. I swear, it felt like she'd already fallen in love with him.
        No, she didn't know about the rocks past knowing they were leaving dirty marks on his skin. Yes, I think in a very pure and innocent way, she did fall in love with him and I would say he with her (but he got confused early on and focused all his feelings in the wrong direction, dying will do that to you)

        My heart absolutely broke when, after Chloe got rid of the kryptonite, Clark still didn't wake up. I just knew he didn't make it, that he'd been exposed too long. Moira's confirmation of it made it hurt that much more. Still, I love how Chloe stubbornly refused to give up, that she'd done what she was meant to do and he was supposed to wake up no matter what.
        Chloe never gives up. She believes in Clark even when he won't believe in himself. She holds on even when everyone else scatters. A disembodied voice that brought her to this special boy told her he was going to wake up, so dog gone it, she was going to wait until he did.


        I especially love how Chloe clung to him even as her mother tried to pull her away. That's the kind of love and loyalty we've come to expect from Chloe with regards to Clark, and I loved seeing it so early on in her and their relationship. One huge question I have is how did Chloe know she could heal Clark? I get that Jor-El must've said something to her, but how did he even know? Is it the whole destiny thing, or did the ship detect the kryptonite in Chloe and know that kryptonite causes mutations that carry with them certain abilities?
        None of the Kryptonians seemed surprised that humans exposed to Kryptonite could develop powers. I guess I'm assuming that they probably understand how they are triggered better than anyone and perhaps with such a high concentrate and in such a pure and uncomplicated mind such as Chloe, Jor-El could help influence the nature of her ability.

        Regardless of how she found out she was capable of healing/reviving Clark, how did she know how to actually do it? Was it simply her wishing him to be healed/revived, or was it some instinctual thing where she just knew she had/wanted to help him, and her power took care of the rest?
        She still had to want it to work to activate it but she wasn't holding anything back so when she knew she COULD save him, that was all it took for her to trigger her power.

        Speaking of destiny, this moment could also tie in nicely to that scene that prompted Clark blew up his space ship - that one that said these people had served their purposes and it was time to leave them behind. Yeah the scene where Lana and his parents where pictured but not Chloe. (insert smug smile)


        Anyway, the emotion of this piece is truly spectacular. I could really feel what Chloe and Moira were feeling. Plus, their reactions to their circumstances felt very real and true to who they are
        .

        I'm really pleased to hear that.
        Moira, being a mother, was concerned only for her daughter's welfare, and her actions showed that. I mean, I know she had to go to Chloe when she heard her calling, but a small part of me was upset that she just left the Kents in their overturned truck. But, Moira did what any good mother would do, so I can't fault her. Of course, Moira's reaction to the ship and Clark and Chloe's fascination with them was...interesting. I get that, as an adult who doesn't believe in aliens, she was having a hard time reconciling what she was seeing with her own two eyes, but it was still kinda funny watching her try to deny what she was seeing.
        When Moira realized the harm she could do to Chloe, she made the problem go away by making herself go away, a very extreme action, so I thought her wishing very hard that she could just make this thing that she instinctively knew would change everything go made sense for her. Plus I suspect that her flower child aunt was also a bit of a conspiracy theorist nut.
        Also, I can't blame her for not wanting Chloe anywhere near the ship or Clark and for worrying that the whole mental illness thing might be hereditary, especially if Chloe was really hearing voices. However, as a mother, I was a bit disappointed that she simply left Clark there and didn't even try to get him help. Yes, she figured he was dead, but if Chloe had been lying there 'dead', Moira would've taken her and rushed to the nearest hospital not simply left her there. Still, Moira was clearly afraid for Chloe and for her entire family's welfare should it be discovered that she'd seen a spaceship and alien up close, so I can't be too hard on her. Plus, Chloe screamed and collapsed, so her instincts told her to get Chloe away from there and get her help. Family first is a very human instinct, and you can't fault anyone for choosing their family over a stranger.
        The right thing to do probably would have been to go back for Clark or take him and rush to get help but like you said, those instincts kicked in and it is hard to know what we would do in her circumstance.


        Oddly, I wasn't concerned with Chloe's welfare after she healed Clark. I mean, if this is a revised beginning of Smallville, then there's no way she would be permanently dead. Plus, you aren't partial to the angst like me
        . Ha! So true. In the end, that scene was more about establishing Moira's mindset than provide real drama over Chloe's condition, cause like you said, we know she's not permanently dead.

        In any event, it was intriguing to see the origin of Moira's power. It makes perfect sense that Moira, wanting to protect Chloe, ordered her to obey her and do whatever she told her to do from then on. Of course, I didn't think that extended to forgetting things that had happened. Then again, now that I think of it, Chloe had no memory of what she did on the show when under Moira's control, but that was while she was performing a task. I didn't think ordering her not to remember something constituted an actual task.
        I'm not sure either, but at that young of an age, I'm not sure Chloe would know what was real and what wasn't. She goes into her "nap" thinking she dreamt everything, the kind of dream you don't really remember when you wake. When she wakes up again, how much would she really remember? And with your mom absolutely positive it was just a dream, (and she doesn't want to hear about it at all) how would you really know for sure? The confusion and conflict would only IMO serve to bury the has to be impossible memory deep down, but it would form an everlasting desire to explore the unexplained and impossible.

        Anyway, I fully bought Moira's power origin, but what really surprised me was that she was capable of using her power on herself. I didn't think such a thing was possible. Then again, Chloe can heal herself, so I guess it is possible.
        Nothing said she couldn't, plus even without her power, the mind is capable of doing amazing things. Denial can run very deep. I like to think that she was able to use her power on herself but that it only lasted for a while and then she had to do it again and again and that it was Moira's repeated attempt to make herself forget that eventually put her mind into a permanent haze. It wasn't just aliens and spaceships and Chloe almost dying she wanted to forget, it was the guilt she felt in not doing something to save that boy.

        In any event, I love the way you so neatly wrapped things up with Moira and Chloe and their part in Clark's arrival on earth. It fit perfectly within the mythology and yet it added something completely new and so very wonderful that enriched it greatly. The best part is that you didn't change any of the events that happened afterward and yet you showed us something new that could've easily happened during the time-frame in which you've set the story.
        Making things work so I can call it head cannon was half the fun. Having the established details just made the direction of the story more and more clear.

        In other words, you are a genius.
        No, just a glutton for punishment. I hit Wikipedia and rewatched a lot of episodes trying to track down the details, but finding them brought me to my happy place.

        Oh, and I adore the little epilogue where we see Clark wake up. It's so great that Clark remembered Chloe, even though he'd never actually met her. It's gotta be destiny. And I love, love, love that the reason he was smiling is because he knew that Chloe was in this new world and that he'd meet her some day, and because she was in this new world, it was now home. As the title of this post says, Absolute PERFECTION!!!!
        I love his happy little boy smile! The crash, not speaking the language (an oversight since Jor-EL knew English) wandering naked and alone in a field...there had to be a good reason for why Clark was so happy and confident.



        Thanks All of this makes perfect sense! You've thought of everything, which means you've thought about this a lot, and I'm so glad you did, because this is one of my favorite stories EVER.
        You know me, I have to have it make sense in my head or I can't write it. I'd start a self help group called Over Thinkers Anon except there are too many details to cover.

        Thank you so incredibly much for writing and sharing this with us, Mel!!!! You are so frickin' awesome, babes!!!! *smishes you*
        Smishes you right back!! You know I kind of live for your review. It doesn't feel like I've really posted a story until I get your feedback.

        Thanks again!

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        Today, 11:37 PM
        #17


        BkWurm1








        BkWurm1 is online now
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        Last edited by BkWurm1; 03-15-2014, 12:54 AM.

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        • #19
          Just a bit of random information I had meant to mention about the banner picture. Not sure if it is obvious or not but the picture of the little girl is actually Allison Mack.

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          • #20
            Let me just say I am loving this. I try not to crowd myself with other stories while deep in writing, but the idea of (excuse my crass term, it's the only one that fits) infoporn on Chloe's early years was too good to pass up.

            I love that you've chosen to look into a time that's largely unexplored and a character that isn't often looked into in Moira.

            I also really liked the glimpses into her relationship with Ella and the budding dynamic between Chloe and Lois as little partners in crime.

            She and Gabe had always talked about having another child but what if that meant not being able to give Chloe the kind of attention she needed?
            It's funny as Chloe did end up, through circumstances as a self-raising child in a lot of ways and not getting the attention other children did. I sometimes wonder what Chloe might have been like, having had both parents and more attention and boundaries and... well, curfews.

            “I can get you a book about them from the library if you like.”

            Chloe frowned and stopped wiggling around. “Oh. Ok.”

            Moira focused on the road in front of her and repressed her smile. That should keep Chloe from chasing butterflies half way around the world. For Chloe, the excitement came from the finding out. She much preferred to learn than to be taught
            I love that distinction. I definitely see even a young Chloe as being one to get her info from various sources before deciding if it was enough for her.

            As for the ending, it was quite action-packed!

            I'll be back to read the next chapter when I've "earned it" (I have a complicated list/reward system in place. Won't bore you with the details.)

            But I'll be back!

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            • #21
              The Amazing Ape
              Let me just say I am loving this. I try not to crowd myself with other stories while deep in writing, but the idea of (excuse my crass term, it's the only one that fits) infoporn on Chloe's early years was too good to pass up.
              Infoporn, hee!

              An advantage to a story set pre-Smallville (that stays within cannon boundaries that we know of) is that it shouldn't mess with the characters as you know them in your own works. See, this it guilt free reading! Lol,

              I love that you've chosen to look into a time that's largely unexplored and a character that isn't often looked into in Moira.
              I was on the Smallville Wiki, trying to track some obscure bit of info down for another fic when I wandered past the quote from Chloe wondering why she was given such an amazing power and like always, I again bemoaned the waste of setting such an interesting question up and the show never answering it.

              Not for the first time, I started wondering about what could have been which prompted me to wonder how she got her power in the first place which I really didn't have an answer for so I switched to how Moira got her power and that answer - she needed to control Chloe - immediately popped into my head. The rest all kind of followed.
              I also really liked the glimpses into her relationship with Ella and the budding dynamic between Chloe and Lois as little partners in crime.
              We don't know a lot about Moira but we do know little tidbits about other characters that she would have had in her life, like her sister and her children and I really wanted to touch on some of that.

              Ella soon develops terminal cancer, so Ella right now is always tired. Lucy grew up spoiled and treated as "special" so I tried to explain where her personality came from. Same with Lois. I was surprised how naturally her mix of bravado, independence and loneliness came up. ( It is soooo clear that Lois would never be happy in the long run with Clark. What she needs is something Clark can never give.)

              She and Gabe had always talked about having another child but what if that meant not being able to give Chloe the kind of attention she needed?
              It's funny as Chloe did end up, through circumstances as a self-raising child in a lot of ways and not getting the attention other children did. I sometimes wonder what Chloe might have been like, having had both parents and more attention and boundaries and... well, curfews.
              The sad irony honestly escaped me before. I tend to think that Chloe would have still grown up to be the Chloe that we knew but I wonder if she might have had an easier time finding herself along the way. Curfews just would mean doing a lot of the work she did at the Torch out of her room (plus a lot of sneaking out for her other research) but having the attention of (let's assume) a stable and loving mother would have to have helped with her self esteem issues in her mid teens. Maybe it would have translated into Chloe not being tempted by Lionel's offer when she was 15. Maybe having Moira around would have translated into Chloe never coming to Smallville and only meeting up with Clark at the Daily Planet after she'd done her schooling. Interesting to think about.




              “I can get you a book about them from the library if you like.”

              Chloe frowned and stopped wiggling around. “Oh. Ok.”

              Moira focused on the road in front of her and repressed her smile. That should keep Chloe from chasing butterflies half way around the world. For Chloe, the excitement came from the finding out. She much preferred to learn than to be taught
              I love that distinction. I definitely see even a young Chloe as being one to get her info from various sources before deciding if it was enough for her.
              I'm so glad that made sense. It is a fine distinction but Chloe was never just into gathering knowledge for knowledge's sake alone. It always factored into a greater purpose. If she was just after knowledge, she would have become a scientist or a scholar.


              As for the ending, it was quite action-packed!
              Hopefully that was a good thing. As you well know, action is hard!!

              I'll be back to read the next chapter when I've "earned it" (I have a complicated list/reward system in place. Won't bore you with the details.)

              But I'll be back!
              The good news is this story only has the two chapters so it shouldn't mess up your reward system too much and I get it. I've not been allowed to read your updates this month either though I think I'm finally at a point where I can. Now I just have to track everything I missed down.

              Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!!

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              • #22
                Um...yeah, everything Sky and April said.

                Still coming back to critique this! Many thanks for your patience, Mel.

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                • #23
                  This is delightful and well-thought-out, a great backstory. Excellent job!

                  (Now I just want a fic where somehow they actually remember all this. Not that that's likely.)

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                  • #24
                    Finally getting back to this one!

                    I love how much thought you put into Moira's family. I've rarely thought that far back in SV.

                    Originally posted by BkWurm1
                    Still in the process of waking up, she reached for the precious library book she’d checked out with her very own library card and cuddled it to her chest like a stuffed teddy bear.
                    Chloe would so cuddle a book. LOL

                    She wasn’t a bad child, there wasn’t a mean bone in her little body, but oh, when she wanted to know something, she wanted to know it now!
                    And some things never change.

                    She much preferred to learn than to be taught, so while Chloe’s curiosity would prompt her to read more about the secret life of bugs, knowing the mysteries were already solved would shift her fierce attention elsewhere.
                    I like that. Chloe definitely wants to be the first one there.

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                    • #25
                      Back again.

                      I loved all the descriptive detail in the middle of all this chaos.


                      Originally posted by BkWurm1
                      When the voice came again, she stopped and cocked her head to listen harder. The sound was funny; it was like when she played Grampa’s old harmonica with her teeth touching the metal, the sound bounced around in her head. The voice calling was deep and urgent and a little strange like the man talking had a…what was the word? The men on the funny show she watched with Daddy each had one too. Money Python. She heard the voice again. This time she understood what he was begging her to do.

                      “Come! Save my son!”
                      I love this! Love the idea that they were tied together from the moment he hit the earth.

                      Had other little boys rained down during the meteor shower? An army of naked alien children?
                      The image is certainly hilarious. Naked space children! A plague upon the earth!

                      Chloe didn’t seem to notice. She seemed pleased with the results. She leaned closer, patted his cheek and crooned, “It’s time to wake up now,” sweetly imitating the same sing-song voice Moira used each morning. There was no response.

                      “Honey, you have to stop.” She couldn’t watch Chloe go on like this.
                      Aw! So sweetly poignant!

                      Moira's telling Chloe to forget seem reasonable for a mother dealing with priority one: save child and sanity, don't want kid damaged by trauma. But it makes me think precisely these moments, while not remembered, might make Chloe want to help every being she's ever come across. Deep down, she doesn't want to forget about it, doesn't want to let anything go, not when there's something to know or someone to help.

                      I could see all this being a flashback on the show -- that is, if SV were a better show where things make narrative sense. I love the idea of Chloe's meteor mutation beginning and ending with Clark. Hell, I wish they'd done something real with the power while she had it rather than just having it explained away as "oops, gone now!"

                      Sorry. My ranting about the disconnect between Smallville and storytelling aside, your story was lovely. Isn't it funny how much care and detail we put into our fics when the people getting the big paychecks barely try? Wait, that's more ranting. See? This is why I have trouble writing and reading Smallville fic. It's a terrible show with almost no redeeming qualities, yet I watched it for years, hoping it would come to some kind of cohesive ending. Didn't happen.

                      In a better show, your fic would be the flashback and the payoff would come later, when Clark sees Chloe lay down her life for him and it triggers memories of this. Then he would save the day (some other way, sparing her all that messy death) and make out with her for like a decade in gratitude.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        I never saw that you commented Apey. What a lovely surprise! Feel free to rant away.

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