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  • Originally posted by BabyDee
    I've just read chapter 1, and I must say this is a brilliant start to this story. My heart broke for Chloe when Hawkman was telling her that Clark was dead. As for Lois, I was hoping she'd end up under the wheels of the truck, but hey...we can't have Chloe lose 3 people she loves in one day now, can we?

    Great start, Mel. Can't wait to read Chapter 2!
    Just noticed today that you had commented on this. Thank you for the review. I might have been fine running Lois over with the truck but Chloe would have not liked that too much. She can be such a spoilsport.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by BabyDee
      And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is why I'm a Chlarker.

      The deepest relationship in the show is Chloe & Clark's, no question. I know TPTB threw it all in the bin, but that doesn't change what was shown. Chlark = Lurve.

      Well done, Melissa. I'm really loving this story!
      It's no surprise I'm sure that I agree 100% about Chlark being the deepest relationship on the show. No one else can touch their level of friendship, trust, caring and history. Everything else IMO comes off as shallow and trite next to the untampered with Chlark.

      I'm really pleased that you got a chance to read it. Writing it purged a great deal of the poison Smallville left in my soul.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by BkWurm1
        Just noticed today that you had commented on this. Thank you for the review. I might have been fine running Lois over with the truck but Chloe would have not liked that too much. She can be such a spoilsport.
        Hee! Besides, she's been hurt enough, I think. Chloe, that is.

        I'm extremely busy with RL, work and my Big Bang fic, so I've had to put fic reading on hold for a bit. I'll likely be very sporadic on catching up until the New Year, but rest assured I've subscribed to this Thread and will be back one day with a cup of tea and a biscuit to deal with it in detail!

        Beautiful story, Mel. Well done!

        Comment


        • Originally posted by BkWurm1
          It's no surprise I'm sure that I agree 100% about Chlark being the deepest relationship on the show. No one else can touch their level of friendship, trust, caring and history. Everything else IMO comes off as shallow and trite next to the untampered with Chlark.
          I know, right? Both Clana and Clois were glitter, in my opinion; shiny and flaky, with not much substance. Chlark, on the other hand, was pure GOLD - valuable, beautiful, and enduring.

          I'm really pleased that you got a chance to read it. Writing it purged a great deal of the poison Smallville left in my soul.
          Season 9 was absolutely vile and disgusting, and just like you, writing my own endings has been my therapy!
          Last edited by BabyDee; 10-18-2011, 04:58 PM.

          Comment


          • BabyDee
            I'm extremely busy with RL, work and my Big Bang fic, so I've had to put fic reading on hold for a bit.
            I understand where you are coming from. I have had to do the same with several Chlark and Chlollie fics that I want to read. Too busy trying to finish writing to read much, plus, while I won't speak for you, but I find it hard to read other people's stories when writing my own, totally can take me out of that space in my head. Sometimes that can be a very good thing though.

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            • *bump*

              I'll be back to finish reviewing this, hopefully very soon!

              Comment


              • Thank you for the 'bump' Dee!
                I didn't realize that I'd never finished reading this...
                Will have to come back.

                Comment


                • Don't know if I ever reviewed this story, but I loved it!

                  Keeping everyone in character and with a nice resolution; I just this is how things had actually gone. Great job!

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Darkfirelight
                    Don't know if I ever reviewed this story, but I loved it!

                    Keeping everyone in character and with a nice resolution; I just this is how things had actually gone. Great job!
                    Thanks! I think story stands as my best written opening. It's just action, action, action in the beginning before getting to the heart of the story. I think it stands up to rereading fairly well (unlike some stories of mine that cry for some reediting - though I might just bring my own harshest critic)

                    Anyway thanks so much for having taking the time to share my end of season 9 fix. The show made me do it. Surprisingly, it wasn't very hard to get it back on track. Chlark cries out for satisfaction.

                    Comment


                    • For chapter 1

                      A very enjoyable chapter

                      Which can I just say that you basically ripped my emotions out because, um ouch to say the least when watching Chole deal with well everything and also realizing the state of Clark's injures but then refusing to just stand by and let him well stay dead.

                      Also yea Hawkman is back since I always like that guy from Smallville and was very sad when he died on the show. Sorry Legends of Tomorrow but your Hawkman is way off for being anywhere lose to the Hawkman of Smallville.

                      Which I wish this how the episode actually went instead of what we actually got.

                      Good thing on Hawkman and Stargirl are going to help GA.

                      Also smart that Chloe knew Cyborg was going to Watchtower to help so she could leave to save Clark.

                      Oh Lois has found out well everything. Which Lois, Chole didn't fall in love with Clark just because of having powers. You might do that but that's not your concern.

                      For chapter 2

                      Another enjoyable chapter

                      First can I just say this feels like Smallville and your touches with keeping the characters in chracter is nice. Make it feel like the same show I started off watching.

                      I like how you have Chloe unwilling to give up on Clark which is very fitting to her chracter. Also I like Lois in this story of you don't shy away from the important stuff and her realizing a full on relationship with Clark would never work out because the thing of Clark keeping secrets is just like Oliver being the Green Arrow, is kept.

                      I't been so long since I've seen Smallville I can't remember if that was ever addressed but from what I can remember I don't think it was. So in the show it's kind of strange she went from "Can't be with secret keeping heroes" to now I can.

                      Also kind of have to feel sorry for Lois given how much she has been put under the last few hours or so.

                      Now Chloe is off to see Jor-el. Good luck, your going to need it.

                      Be back for more.

                      PS: Never read your works before but you are a very good writer.
                      Last edited by Haggard01; 07-10-2017, 04:01 PM.

                      Comment


                      • Now for Chapter 8

                        Yeah I decided to kind of skip ahead, at least reviewing wise. I've read all the chapters through.

                        Simply put a very enjoyable story.

                        First *smiles* can I just say I enjoy the twist of Jor-el basically brainwashed Clark? Like that explains a decent amount and is a good way to deal with the wonky 180 writing choices done by the Smallville team.

                        Seriously you guys I know you were the new writers through I can't remember if the new ones showed up in season 7 or 8, I think 8 but anyhow. You could have managed to salvage the situation of doing Clark/Lois but oh wait if you showed up in season 8 then why were you people so concerned about Clark/Lana? Never mind, bottom line it you guys did it kind of horribly.

                        Really the Smallville writers should have just done a time travel story and said the after effects made some changes like Flashpoint type of stuff. I would have bought that better, to explain the 180 type of stuff. On the bright side at least there would have been a reason.

                        I like the scene where Lois kind of has a realization of she's just copying Chloe and doesn't even like being a reporter. Because oh that was a for sure a whip lash in the show. They spent so much time thought they were being "cute" by having Lois mention how she didn't like journalism in her first seasons but like went "Oh crap, what do we now?" when they had to get Lois into a reporter.

                        Also they created Chloe to be a Lois stand in and spent so much time building that up well they wound up in a corner when they brought the real one in.

                        So Lois going off to live her own life and getting married to that guy in Africa with being a diplomat basically works. The pregnant thing made me go "Wait, what?" when I read that.

                        Chloe getting back into journalism and eventually taking Lois's name to publish articles was a nice touch. Also sticks more closer to Chloe's actual chracter when she was first showed up.

                        I like how you handled Darkside and all that, which works far better then the show's events. Cameo by a certain Batman, nice touch.

                        Oliver and Dinah Lance entering a relationship, is a nice nod to canon. So is the Mayor bit.

                        Clark has become Superman, yeah it's about time.

                        Also Clark and Chloe have gotten back together and are going to be married. I enjoyed their scenes all around and it's very nice to see them getting their happy ending.

                        Comment


                        • So Lois going off to live her own life and getting married to that guy in Africa with being a diplomat basically works. The pregnant thing made me go "Wait, what?" when I read that.
                          Lol, the getting pregnant thing was to be just as surprising to Lois as it was you. I liked the idea that her life had suddenly taken a turn she could not have and would not have ever planned for, but that as unexpected and out of the blue as it seemed, turned out to be more than she could have ever wished for. At heart, Lois was a very lonely character.

                          I never liked Lois in Smallville as Lois Lane, she didn't measure up to what I needed the character to be, but if I took the character without the comic history, then I found her somewhat sympathetic and pitiable. She never really had anyone that could love and put her first. Her mother died, her father was too busy being a General and because he forced a young Lois to grow up and be in charge of her sister, he ruined any chance of a close sisterly bond, one that Lois seemingly tried to find instead with Chloe.

                          She was a character very much alone and clinging to the people that she met through her relationship with Chloe. But even then, everyone kept leaving her. She semi-adopts the Kents as family, but first Jonathan dies, then Mrs. Kent moves to D.C. She falls in love with Oliver but he never has time for her and later she finds out that he's never going to be ale to put her happiness first, just like dear old dad. She falls in love with her editor but when she wanted to fight for their relationship, he just ends things and vanishes with never another word (she doesn't ever seem to find out that he died, oops)

                          Eventually after a lot really scary thing happen, including her beloved cousin almost dying (end of season six) vanishing for months (end of season seven) being attacked and kidnapped on her wedding day (season eight). Lois then loses six months of time. How terrifying is that? And even though a few months before Clark wasn't intersted, suddenly after all the scariness, seemingly simple, rock solid Clark now IS interested in her. But he's not enough and when she loses her job, she breaks up with him, realizing she was fooling herself about him.

                          Lois was unhappy in her career, unhappy with Clark, feeling like her life was going nowhere. All this was canon in show at the end of season nine. And from her perspective, Clark wasn't even trying to get back together with her, even when she told him she might be moving to Africa!

                          In the show, she finds out Clark it the Blur and that changes everything for her and fixes the problem of Clark not being enough on his own. But on the show, it completely ignores that she's right back to where she was with Oliver. She loved Oliver but knew because of who he was (and the life he led) he could never make her happy. At least with Oliver, he'd have had to eventually retire from life behind the mask. Clark was so much worse an option than even Oliver.

                          I felt that the show wasn't being genuine in Lois's response when she found out the truth about Clark being the Blur. When she was working with Zod and thinking he was the Blur, she didn't want to be in a romance with him, she just liked feeling important that she was helping him. Lois rebuffed Oliver's ovetures at rekindling their romance when she found out the truth about him. I think she would have done so even more with Clark and have been even more disillusioned since at least Oliver had that flashy playboy thing going on. So Clark being totally not what he said he was would have been an even bigger betrayal.

                          Anyway, that's where my head was with Lois, not sure why I went on so long, lol. I guess I wanted to fix her life as well as Clark and Chloe's.

                          A very enjoyable chapter

                          Which can I just say that you basically ripped my emotions out because, um ouch to say the least when watching Chole deal with well everything and also realizing the state of Clark's injures but then refusing to just stand by and let him well stay dead.

                          Also yea Hawkman is back since I always like that guy from Smallville and was very sad when he died on the show. Sorry Legends of Tomorrow but your Hawkman is way off for being anywhere lose to the Hawkman of Smallville.

                          Which I wish this how the episode actually went instead of what we actually got.
                          I should have said it right away, but thank you for your fantastic feedback! I loved Michael Shanks here as Hawkman and I think this whole story came about because I was thinking about how they squandered his guest shot in the season 9 finale, just having him and everyone else as floating heads. I wondered what would be different if they'd actually been IN the episode and POOF, that whole first chapter came spewing out of my head. I literally jumped out of bed at night to start writing it, lol.


                          First can I just say this feels like Smallville and your touches with keeping the characters in chracter is nice. Make it feel like the same show I started off watching.

                          I like how you have Chloe unwilling to give up on Clark which is very fitting to her chracter. Also I like Lois in this story of you don't shy away from the important stuff and her realizing a full on relationship with Clark would never work out because the thing of Clark keeping secrets is just like Oliver being the Green Arrow, is kept.

                          I't been so long since I've seen Smallville I can't remember if that was ever addressed but from what I can remember I don't think it was. So in the show it's kind of strange she went from "Can't be with secret keeping heroes" to now I can.

                          Also kind of have to feel sorry for Lois given how much she has been put under the last few hours or so.

                          Now Chloe is off to see Jor-el. Good luck, your going to need it.

                          Be back for more.
                          I take it as highest praise when the character feel true to themselves and even ones like Lois come off sympathetic. I never loved Lois on the show but I could never hate her when I was writing her. She's surrounded by so many awful things that make no sense that she's not equipped to handle. She should be allowed to freak out or be afraid and confused.
                          PS: Never read your works before but you are a very good writer
                          Thank you very much, though more accuratly I'd say I'm a very good rewriter. I edit and reedit and adjust and come back to this stuff over and over before is becomes anything close to being good.
                          Last edited by BkWurm1; 07-11-2017, 12:01 AM.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by Haggard01
                            Now for Chapter 8

                            Yeah I decided to kind of skip ahead, at least reviewing wise. I've read all the chapters through.

                            Simply put a very enjoyable story.

                            First *smiles* can I just say I enjoy the twist of Jor-el basically brainwashed Clark? Like that explains a decent amount and is a good way to deal with the wonky 180 writing choices done by the Smallville team.

                            Seriously you guys I know you were the new writers through I can't remember if the new ones showed up in season 7 or 8, I think 8 but anyhow. You could have managed to salvage the situation of doing Clark/Lois but oh wait if you showed up in season 8 then why were you people so concerned about Clark/Lana? Never mind, bottom line it you guys did it kind of horribly.

                            Really the Smallville writers should have just done a time travel story and said the after effects made some changes like Flashpoint type of stuff. I would have bought that better, to explain the 180 type of stuff. On the bright side at least there would have been a reason.

                            I like the scene where Lois kind of has a realization of she's just copying Chloe and doesn't even like being a reporter. Because oh that was a for sure a whip lash in the show. They spent so much time thought they were being "cute" by having Lois mention how she didn't like journalism in her first seasons but like went "Oh crap, what do we now?" when they had to get Lois into a reporter.

                            Also they created Chloe to be a Lois stand in and spent so much time building that up well they wound up in a corner when they brought the real one in.

                            So Lois going off to live her own life and getting married to that guy in Africa with being a diplomat basically works. The pregnant thing made me go "Wait, what?" when I read that.

                            Chloe getting back into journalism and eventually taking Lois's name to publish articles was a nice touch. Also sticks more closer to Chloe's actual chracter when she was first showed up.

                            I like how you handled Darkside and all that, which works far better then the show's events. Cameo by a certain Batman, nice touch.

                            Oliver and Dinah Lance entering a relationship, is a nice nod to canon. So is the Mayor bit.

                            Clark has become Superman, yeah it's about time.

                            Also Clark and Chloe have gotten back together and are going to be married. I enjoyed their scenes all around and it's very nice to see them getting their happy ending.
                            Thank you for reading and reviewing and I like that you felt compelled to keep reading instead of stoping to review each chapter. Getting caught up in the story is a good sign.

                            Yep, season eight is when 4 producers on the show took over and by season nine we were down to just 2. There are aspects of Smallville I'll never get over. Thank goodness for fan fic.

                            It's funny, I was reading this story for the first tim I think since watching Arrow and I was struck by how much I liked my Dinah here. I say my Dinah cause I don't think the show ever did much with her characterization and I drew heavily from the animated series, the actress (who I liked on a different show) and from reading about BC's leadership skills in her wiki page.

                            I suspect my disappointment in Arrow's Dinah Laurel Lance had in part to do with the idealized version I'd already settled on in this story. Also really surprising to me is I kept seeing the new Dinah on Arrow when I read her in this story. It's funny cause I had no trouble still envisioning JH's Oliver in the role.

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