Lois' need to have a 'purpose' and bit more Lang than Lane?

[Dyanara]

Lois Lane has never nor will ever on this show define herself by her relationships. That is one of the reasons why she was such a favorite character, she always knew who she was and didn't need a man to define her. So this excuse that all of a sudden the last 5yrs dont matter and now all of a sudden Lois doesnt want to be defined by her man when she never was defined by him does not sit well with me. This is a major light switch moment.

[BackToTheLies]

Lana Lang always defined herself through her relationships with men and derived purpose through others. When Lois broke up with Clark, it was because he was not supporting her need to find purpose for herself outside of any relationship whether it was The Blur or Clark. By the end of the episode, Lois found what she was looking for within herself. Like Dorothy The Wizard of Oz, Lois didn't need a wizard or any person to give her purpose because she had that power all along.

It's the fact that she got her lines crossed in the first places, and did something as high-school-ish as breaking up over it, that is disappointing.

When you have a base level of convinction about who you are you don't suddenly questioning whether you are living through your partner or the Blur just because you lost your job.

I don't think it was a good enough excuse to drag out over an episode. That's how I feel. It wasn't Lois in this episode, it was some sort of rehashing of Clark's old ghosts with Lana.

[hellokitty]

My main problem with this damn issue is that there are a lot of people who want a purpose in their life. They go volunteer, they become an organ donor, or they change their career; they don't break up with their boyfriends whom they said they loved just because their dual relationship with a supehero ended and as a result said girlfriend no longer feels special enough.

She didn't break up b/c he would hold her back from finding her "higher calling". She broke up as a result of everything that was going on that we saw and heard from the beginning of the episode. She was taking a step back, and that's perfectly acceptable for her to do that. It doesn't mean she doesn't love him, and, from my perspective, she is now in a better place with herself, to be able to be a better girlfriend to him, should they reunite (and we all know eventually, they will).

If this were a working mother with a family who all of a sudden decided to bail just so she could find her purpose in life would people be defending it?

No and yes. If she were to up and leave said family just to travel the globe or whatever, no, I would not defend her. If she sat down with said family and discussed the matter and they worked together, like through volunteering, yeah, that's the way to go. Everyone needs some kind of purpose, to know that their life will leave some kind of mark. Everyone finds it in different things...big or small.

And that is not the same as what Lois did. She and Clark are not married, they are not tethered to each other, there are no children involved or a mortgage. Completely different situation.

And since when has Lois been defined by Clark? Get your damn job back or get a different job with a different paper; but don't take your semi-mid life crisis out on Clark. I think it makes Lois look fickle and reminds me a lot of Lana leaving in season 7 so she could find her purpose, ala become a superhero.

That's exactly what she was trying to do. She was trying to get both their jobs back. She wasn't taking anything out on Clark, and I don't think she was fickle in this. There was a lot more than just what occurred in this episode. By seeing that he had no interest in getting his job back, by closing her out of whatever he was doing, by telling her she was overreacting in her ambition to do something important with her life, when he lied to his mother, when he asked for her to lie to Mrs. Kent, a woman she loves and admires...that's what she was dealing with, that was her breaking point.

I didn't see Lois wanting to put on her Stiletto costume and go be a superhero. It seemed to me, especially in the given conversation with Perry at the Planet, that she realized her purpose, her inner hero was her reporting. She was ecstatic at getting her job back...and for Clark to have his back. Lana ran away, Lana built herself up with her kung fu and her training out of a sense of rage and fear, Lana went about finding her "inner superhero" by finishing her task of revenge on Lex and fundamentally changing herself. Lois did what she does best, she delved into investigating, she looked inside herself and found what was always there and found how to use it for good. There's no comparison, IMO. None at all.

----- Added 10 Minutes later -----

It's the fact that she got her lines crossed in the first places, and did something as high-school-ish as breaking up over it, that is disappointing.

When you have a base level of convinction about who you are you don't suddenly questioning whether you are living through your partner or the Blur just because you lost your job.

I don't think it was a good enough excuse to drag out over an episode. That's how I feel. It wasn't Lois in this episode, it was some sort of rehashing of Clark's old ghosts with Lana.

Lois said herself in this episode to Clark: "Overreacting to what? To my life falling apart?" She does have a base level of conviction of who she is...but that was all thrown for a loop in the span of 24 hours.

She felt a sense of duty with the Blur, that was taken away. Per Plastique, last year, when she told Clark that finding the truth with him felt better than just getting a front page byline. All season long, even before then, she's been doing her own investigative work (Sachs, JSA), it's not about that. So yeah, losing her job and losing that partnership with the Blur was bound to throw her for a loop and cause her to want to look in on herself to find what she had lost...that purpose that her job and working with the Blur had made her feel.

[ginevrakent]

When you have a base level of convinction about who you are you don't suddenly questioning whether you are living through your partner or the Blur just because you lost your job.

The thing is: Lois didn't have that level of conviction about who she was. Her existential crisis wasn't sudden. Lois has been wrestling with these issues for awhile. Recall this exchange from last season's Stiletto:

Lois: There is when you don't know who you'd be without it.
Clark: Something tells me you know yourself better than you think. Lois, you're a great reporter -- all on your own. You don't need a hero or some gimmick to make a headline.

This theme continued in Rabid, when Lois revealed this to Clark:

Lois: Last year, when I was talking with The Red-Blue Blur, for the first time in my life, I was doing something that mattered.

Lois' identity crisis and search for meaning, therefore, is a pretty consistent theme for the character. A theme that has been linked to her relationship with Clark's alter ego from the beginning, in fact.

I don't think it was a good enough excuse to drag out over an episode. That's how I feel. It wasn't Lois in this episode, it was some sort of rehashing of Clark's old ghosts with Lana.

Lois didn't break up with Clark because he didn't provide her with the purpose she needed or because she lost her sense of purpose. She broke up with Clark because he was being insensitive and unsupportive. I don't think that's a rehashing of Clana's ghosts at all.

[Dyanara]

[/COLOR]

and leave said family just to travel the globe or whatever, no, I would not defend her. If she sat down with said family and discussed the matter and they worked together, like through volunteering, yeah, that's the way to go. Everyone needs some kind of purpose, to know that their life will leave some kind of mark. Everyone finds it in different things...big or small.

The last part of this statement is not what Lois did. She sat down with Clark and when he didnt respond how she wanted him to she bolted. And just because she isn't going to the extremes as Lana or Martha did doesnt mean that once again a person whom Clark depended on got a taste of the magic that is his super powers and saving people and decided that they wanted that as well.
I am not saying that Lois should put Clark's needs ahead of hers nor is her job to serve her man; my point is that this entire debacle is a light switch that seemed to come out of nowhere. She is so dedicated to the Blur and feels so good helping him that she isnt smart enough to realize when he is being impersonated. Lois has never in the entire series felt that she was defined by a man or needed to do something drastic to find her purpose in life. Its like all of a sudden in this episode, oh wait Lois is now in fear of becoming a Stepford Wife. It doesn't sit well and it makes very little sense, if any at all.

[ginevrakent]

The last part of this statement is not what Lois did. She sat down with Clark and when he didnt respond how she wanted him to she bolted.

I'm curious, do you think what Lois wanted from Clark--honesty, sensitivity, understanding, and support--were unreasonable demands on her part?

----- Added 32 Seconds later -----

That's exactly what she was trying to do. She was trying to get both their jobs back. She wasn't taking anything out on Clark, and I don't think she was fickle in this. There was a lot more than just what occurred in this episode. By seeing that he had no interest in getting his job back, by closing her out of whatever he was doing, by telling her she was overreacting in her ambition to do something important with her life, when he lied to his mother, when he asked for her to lie to Mrs. Kent, a woman she loves and admires...that's what she was dealing with, that was her breaking point.

I didn't see Lois wanting to put on her Stiletto costume and go be a superhero. It seemed to me, especially in the given conversation with Perry at the Planet, that she realized her purpose, her inner hero was her reporting. She was ecstatic at getting her job back...and for Clark to have his back. Lana ran away, Lana built herself up with her kung fu and her training out of a sense of rage and fear, Lana went about finding her "inner superhero" by finishing her task of revenge on Lex and fundamentally changing herself. Lois did what she does best, she delved into investigating, she looked inside herself and found what was always there and found how to use it for good. There's no comparison, IMO. None at all.

This.

[Dyanara]

I'm curious, do you think what Lois wanted from Clark--honesty, sensitivity, understanding, and support--were unreasonable demands on her part?

----- Added 32 Seconds later -----



This.

To get it you have to give it. And not run away when something doesnt go your way. She is not a 16yr old and this is not a highschool relationship, if she were married (hypothetical) would it be ok for her to bail out on the relationship because husband didnt come home and give her honesty, sensitivity, understanding and support? Wanting that is not unreasobale, its how you react if you don't get it that is.
And I have stated already that just because one part of your life is sinking doesnt mean you dump other aspects of your life. But I am really sick of going around in this circle and I will leave others to continue this debate.

[velocity]

Lois + Inferiority complex = True

[ginevrakent]

To get it you have to give it. And not run away when something doesnt go your way. She is not a 16yr old and this is not a highschool relationship, if she were married (hypothetical) would it be ok for her to bail out on the relationship because husband didnt come home and give her honesty, sensitivity, understanding and support? Wanting that is not unreasobale, its how you react if you don't get it that is.

Right, but while Clark wasn't physically running or cutting ties, he was withdrawing emotionally. In my view, Clark was running away from his problems because, as he said in the episode, he wanted to "pretend" that everything was okay and he couldn't stop lying to Lois. Lois shouldn't have to put up with that, so I think she made the right decision for her at the time. I, however, did appreciate that by the end of the episode she had reevaluated her bolt reflex and seemed determined to move forward in a more constructive way.

Lois + Inferiority complex = True

Yep. According to psychologist Alfred Adler, it's natural for human beings to have inferiority complexes which drive them to better themselves--to find self-actualization (Carl Rogers). It's not necessarily a bad thing, especially when, as in this episode, it drives someone like Lois to do the psychological work necessary to become a stronger person, which is not only good for her, but also good for the people in the world she wishes to help with her talents.

[velocity]

Right, but while Clark wasn't physically running or cutting ties, he was withdrawing emotionally. In my view, Clark was running away from his problems because, as he said in the episode, he wanted to "pretend" that everything was okay and he couldn't stop lying to Lois. Lois shouldn't have to put up with that, so I think she made the right decision for her at the time. I, however, did appreciate that by the end of the episode she had reevaluated her bolt reflex and seemed determined to move forward in a more constructive way.



Yep. According to psychologist Alfred Adler, it's natural for human beings to have inferiority complexes which drive them to better themselves--to find self-actualization (Carl Rogers). It's not necessarily a bad thing, especially when, as in this episode, it drives someone like Lois to do the psychological work necessary to become a stronger person, which is not only good for her, but also good for the people in the world she wishes to help with her talents.

Yup. Well after the happenings in "Hostage" Clark should realize he could give Lois that purpose again by telling her that he is infact the blur..it would make their relationship "complete". Then again that would put her in danger, so obviously it's quite a dilemma..but I guess he made up his mind since he sent her that note.

Anyway, this storyline isn't quite going they way I want it to. I was hoping her relationship with the blur would continue and somwhere along the road she'd "end it" for the sake of Clark or something along those lines. It would be romantic and Clark would see that he, Clark Kent the mild-mannered reporter, comes first to her.

[hellokitty]

The last part of this statement is not what Lois did. She sat down with Clark and when he didnt respond how she wanted him to she bolted. And just because she isn't going to the extremes as Lana or Martha did doesnt mean that once again a person whom Clark depended on got a taste of the magic that is his super powers and saving people and decided that they wanted that as well.

No, I'm saying that a married mother with children and things of great responsibility in their life must do this. Lois did...to an extent with Clark, in the beginning, and even as far back as Charade. He blew her off. Being Lois Lane, I'm actually surprised she kept her silence for as long as she did, honestly.

And, like I said, this isn't the same as the "taste of magic" that some have gotten. This isn't about wanting what Clark has. It was his Blur persona's inspiration that drew out that part of Lois that was always there.

I am not saying that Lois should put Clark's needs ahead of hers nor is her job to serve her man; my point is that this entire debacle is a light switch that seemed to come out of nowhere. She is so dedicated to the Blur and feels so good helping him that she isnt smart enough to realize when he is being impersonated.

It didn't come out of nowhere though. Libby's post above indicates several other instances where this was touched on with her character. She's trying to find her way just as Clark and Chloe and several others have in the series.

Lois has never in the entire series felt that she was defined by a man or needed to do something drastic to find her purpose in life. Its like all of a sudden in this episode, oh wait Lois is now in fear of becoming a Stepford Wife. It doesn't sit well and it makes very little sense, if any at all.

I respectfully disagree. I don't see this as her being defined by a man or needing to do something drastic. She was adrift and if she felt that way, then she wasn't going to be able to be the person that Clark himself, in the conversation with Martha, said was a part of who he fell deeper in love with.

[BackToTheLies]

The thing is: Lois didn't have that level of conviction about who she was. Her existential crisis wasn't sudden. Lois has been wrestling with these issues for awhile. Recall this exchange from last season's Stiletto:

Lois: There is when you don't know who you'd be without it.
Clark: Something tells me you know yourself better than you think. Lois, you're a great reporter -- all on your own. You don't need a hero or some gimmick to make a headline.

This theme continued in Rabid, when Lois revealed this to Clark:

Lois: Last year, when I was talking with The Red-Blue Blur, for the first time in my life, I was doing something that mattered.

Lois' identity crisis and search for meaning, therefore, is a pretty consistent theme for the character. A theme that has been linked to her relationship with Clark's alter ego from the beginning, in fact.

Lois didn't break up with Clark because he didn't provide her with the purpose she needed or because she lost her sense of purpose. She broke up with Clark because he was being insensitive and unsupportive. I don't think that's a rehashing of Clana's ghosts at all.

Fair points. When you and others put it in context, it makes more sense to me. I didn't like this episode when I first saw it, especially not the dinner table scene but maybe I need to watch it again.

[SnowBird]

Since Lois has seemed to figure herself out and maybe will want to go back with Clark as her boyfriend, will Clark want to? It seems like he enjoyed the Lois that shared herself with the Blur. This Lois made his love go deeper. It will be interesting to see what Clark wants for Clark.

[Bizarrolover]

Since Lois has seemed to figure herself out and maybe will want to go back with Clark as her boyfriend, will Clark want to? It seems like he enjoyed the Lois that shared herself with the Blur. This Lois made his love go deeper. It will be interesting to see what Clark wants for Clark.

The problem is, Clark enjoyed his relationship with Lois both as Clark as the Blur because he could have both. But when he had to give up one of those relationships, he realized what he lost and how much it affected her. I think they are both mourning that and they need some time off to figure out their feelings as Lois Lane and Clark kent.

[SnowBird]

The problem is, Clark enjoyed his relationship with Lois both as Clark as the Blur because he could have both. But when he had to give up one of those relationships, he realized what he lost and how much it affected her. I think they are both mourning that and they need some time off to figure out their feelings as Lois Lane and Clark kent.

The triangle for two is going to still get in the way until the truth surfaces. Clark will have a relationship with Lois one way or another. I don't think he can distance himself from Lois on the sidlines. Even though there may not be physical contact, I believe there will be an emotional one.