He's Just Not That Into You?

[Jade4813]

He's into her, but not that into her. And being a little into her isn't enough

I agree. I think when you're THAT into someone, you fight hell and high water to be with them. One little problem doesn't have you running for the hills or - as in this case - just deciding not to take action.

He will one day be THAT into her, where he'd do anything to overcome any obstacle to be with her. He's just not there yet.

[miks]

I don't think he's into her at all. The end scene was him feeling sorry for her because she showed up and was waiting for him yet lied in her text. I think he knows how she feels, he just doesn't want to let her down because she hasn't told him how she feels.

[Clana4Life]

I see what you're saying, but I disagree. I think BECAUSE Lois didn't know what had happened recently, she had cause to have higher expectations than she otherwise would. If you think about it, last time she saw Clark at the wedding, he danced with her. He almost kissed her. And before she left, he held her while she was scared and seemed to care about her.

Now she's back a few months later, and all she knows in that intervening time is that Lana was around and now she's gone again. So the automatic presumption would be "the two of them decided it wouldn't work out." Not "Lana attached herself to a supersuit and is now poison to Clark because of the green meteor rocks that I didn't know affected Clark anyway."

Of course, she didn't remember what happened earlier in the episode but she DID know that she brought up the kiss and then essentiallys said, "If you wanna pursuit it, come for coffee. If not, stay home and I'll get the message." So he doesn't show, and her automatic thought was that he's, as the OP said, just not that into her.

Of course she'd be disappointed. I don't expect her to be mad at Clark, but I think it's natural any time you're into someone and you find out they're not into you back, to feel disappointed. Particularly since I'm sure she'd have played that near-kiss in her mind a hundred times, trying to figure out his feelings and trying not to be overly optimistic but not being able to suppress the hope that perhaps he does have feelings for her. It's clear she's got feelings for him; I think it's perfectly natural in this situation for her to feel disappointed. If she knew everything that had happened and THEN knew he hadn't shown up, I think she'd have had cause to feel LESS disappointed. But knowing as little as she did, I think her disappointment was perfectly natural. I'd have felt that way too, I think.

Great posts Jade! It's hard to disagree with you, that's why I usually don't. You bring up something I wondered about. Does Lois know that Lana is gone. She didn't even ask. And yes, you're right, anyone watching from the outside (and Lois) would view Clark's actions as "not being that into her" and you bring up a good example with Lana and how he acted toward her all the while still really caring for her. It's the depth of Clark's feelings that I'm still unsure about. I think he cares for her, but much in the same he cares for Chloe. I think there's interest, but there's very little I get to see (besides the almost kiss) that shows he's considering...But it may be like you said - it's too soon and things are muddled.

----- Added 2 Minutes later -----

This is why I thought the scene at the end seemed overly dramatic. Lois didn't know about any of that stuff that happened, so she should not have been disappointed. It's pretty much like her being away from Clark for a month or so, coming back and then being severely let down that he didn't show up.

I posted something about this yesterday or earlier today:

http://www.kryptonsite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=4598327&postcount=212

Pretty much, it was overly dramatic because TPTB derailed everything between Clark & Lois with the last few episodes & felt that they had to come on strong to reverse the tide. And if you analyze the episode as a whole & Lois' expectations, it doesn't make sense.

I agree. I was so proud of how breezy Lois was when they were at the DP (during the second timeline). She seemed sort of indifferent. "Meet me at the coffee shop or not. It's cool either way." But then at the end, that all got erased.

[xrayvision]

I see what you're saying, but I disagree. I think BECAUSE Lois didn't know what had happened recently, she had cause to have higher expectations than she otherwise would. If you think about it, last time she saw Clark at the wedding, he danced with her. He almost kissed her. And before she left, he held her while she was scared and seemed to care about her.

Now she's back a few months later, and all she knows in that intervening time is that Lana was around and now she's gone again. So the automatic presumption would be "the two of them decided it wouldn't work out." Not "Lana attached herself to a supersuit and is now poison to Clark because of the green meteor rocks that I didn't know affected Clark anyway."

Of course, she didn't remember what happened earlier in the episode but she DID know that she brought up the kiss and then essentiallys said, "If you wanna pursuit it, come for coffee. If not, stay home and I'll get the message." So he doesn't show, and her automatic thought was that he's, as the OP said, just not that into her.

Of course she'd be disappointed. I don't expect her to be mad at Clark, but I think it's natural any time you're into someone and you find out they're not into you back, to feel disappointed. Particularly since I'm sure she'd have played that near-kiss in her mind a hundred times, trying to figure out his feelings and trying not to be overly optimistic but not being able to suppress the hope that perhaps he does have feelings for her. It's clear she's got feelings for him; I think it's perfectly natural in this situation for her to feel disappointed. If she knew everything that had happened and THEN knew he hadn't shown up, I think she'd have had cause to feel LESS disappointed. But knowing as little as she did, I think her disappointment was perfectly natural. I'd have felt that way too, I think.

So you don't think all that time she had would have diffused things, but instead allowed her to think about what happened in Bride on an ongoing basis & increased her expectations? I always thought that her expectations would have lessened because the moment where she was more emotional (due to the events in Bride) had passed and that she would have been more level headed. In fact, during the break after Bride, I read many posts here by people saying when Lois returns she will be hiding her feelings again. But the exact opposite of that happened.

[Dyanara]

I don't think he's into her at all. The end scene was him feeling sorry for her because she showed up and was waiting for him yet lied in her text. I think he knows how she feels, he just doesn't want to let her down because she hasn't told him how she feels.

Once again, if he's not into her at all why did he show up in the first place?

----- Added 1 Minutes later -----

So you don't think all that time she had would have diffused things, but instead allowed her to think about what happened in Bride on an ongoing basis & increased her expectations? I always thought that her expectations would have lessened because the moment where she was more emotional (due to the events in Bride) had passed and that she would have been more level headed. In fact, during the break after Bride, I read many posts here by people saying when Lois returns she will be hiding her feelings again. But the exact opposite of that happened.

I was one of the one's who hoped that when she came back she wouldn't give a crap about Clark. There are many fanfics of her coming back giving him the cold shoulder. True all of us know wth he was doing during the abscence and thats why we want her to be pissed; but either way after what happened I am stunned that any woman would put herself to be treated that way again!

[-Nora-]

I don't think he's into her at all. The end scene was him feeling sorry for her because she showed up and was waiting for him yet lied in her text. I think he knows how she feels, he just doesn't want to let her down because she hasn't told him how she feels.

He shows up to just....watch her? Er....okay. And she doesn't have to officially tell him how she feels in order to let her down. If he wasn't interested, he could've gone over there and told her, "Hey...about that thing that almost happened between us... I guess we were just caught up in the moment and I hope we're still friends." There. And he didn't let her down. Because he'd be lying if he did.

[Jade4813]

I'm sure she knows Lana's gone, but I doubt she knows much more. I've wondered whether Chloe would say anything, but I think if I were in Chloe's place, I'd figure less was more. Being in the middle isn't entirely great. So I'd probably say, "Well, Lana's back and they're thinking about starting things up again," so that my cousin was prepared and wasn't blindsided. But I wouldn't probably offer too much more in explanation, and I doubt Lois would ask. Particularly since there's so much she CAN'T tell Lois, even if she wanted to, she'd probably decide to let Clark explain whatever and however he saw fit and go with it from there.

I would think she'd mention when Lana left, though. It didn't come up, but Lois didn't ask either. I think if I liked a guy, I'd try to work, "So is your ex that I don't know if you're still hung up on or not still around and are you dating and if not is it because you maybe like me?" into the conversation at the earliest opportunity. Perhaps not in those words. Maybe more like:

Guy: You need me to take those bags?
Me: That'd be great. And speaking of bags, I loved the one Lana was carrying when I saw her last! Is she around so I can ask her where she got it? And if not, why not? And are you maybe into meeeeeeeeeeeeals that involve seafood because I'm hungry..."

Yeah, I'm often a case of mouth moving before brain can have its say in what's going to come out.

As for whether it's how he cares for Chloe...hmmm...I'll have to think about that. It's certainly different than the way he cares about Chloe, but even if you're talking romantically, I'm not sure that I'd agree. I think he's mentally closed that door and isn't really considering it at this point. Maybe where he was with Chloe several seasons ago, like when he went to Lex and said, "I know these two girls..." Back then, he KNEW he was interested in her, he just didn't know how much and to what degree and what he wanted to do about any of it.

I think his feelings for Lois are rather like his feelings for Chloe were at that point. Uncertain and not terribly well defined. He's still trying to sort things out in his head.

[Clana4Life]

Once again, if he's not into her at all why did he show up in the first place?

I do think he cares for her, but not much else beyond that at this point, but bring up a possible answer to your question - it's almost a catch-22. You show up because you don't want to be indifferent and rude - and she is his friend. Not showing up would automatically hurt her feelings. But then if you do show up, you might further her expectations of a possible romance. And since he doesn't seem ready or possible interested in this at the moment, he can't very well show up either. So he essentially showed up without showing up. A sort of cop out - but not many options left on the table for him. I have to cut him some slack in this. It might have been better for Lois to wait and see if he ever brought up the possible kiss. I don't think he would have.

[Jade4813]

I agree. I was so proud of how breezy Lois was when they were at the DP (during the second timeline). She seemed sort of indifferent. "Meet me at the coffee shop or not. It's cool either way." But then at the end, that all got erased.

Well, one thing to remember is that in the first scene, she was putting on an act. If you were going to ask out someone you weren't sure was going to reciprocate your feelings, would you blurt it all out there - "I'm crazy about you. Have coffee with me" - or would you try to be like, "So, you wanna grab a cup of coffee?" so that if he said "With you? No." you weren't completely humilated? I'd definitely do the latter.

In the latter scene, she THOUGHT she was alone and unobserved. I bet if Clark walked up to the table and said, "I'm sorry, Lois, but I don't think this is a good idea. I just thought I'd tell you that to your face," her reaction would have been, "Okay, no big deal! It was just coffee! See you tomorrow!"

It's perfectly natural to hide your pain, I think. And I think it's natural to try to hide it the most from the person who inflicted it upon you. We see that all throughout the series - Chloe cries when Clark isn't there to see her; Lana runs out of the barn before collapsing in tears. But in front of the person who hurt them, which is ALWAYS Clark isn't it (), they put on a brave face.

[Clana4Life]

I'm sure she knows Lana's gone, but I doubt she knows much more. I've wondered whether Chloe would say anything, but I think if I were in Chloe's place, I'd figure less was more. Being in the middle isn't entirely great. So I'd probably say, "Well, Lana's back and they're thinking about starting things up again," so that my cousin was prepared and wasn't blindsided. But I wouldn't probably offer too much more in explanation, and I doubt Lois would ask. Particularly since there's so much she CAN'T tell Lois, even if she wanted to, she'd probably decide to let Clark explain whatever and however he saw fit and go with it from there.

I would think she'd mention when Lana left, though. It didn't come up, but Lois didn't ask either. I think if I liked a guy, I'd try to work, "So is your ex that I don't know if you're still hung up on or not still around and are you dating and if not is it because you maybe like me?" into the conversation at the earliest opportunity. Perhaps not in those words. Maybe more like:

Guy: You need me to take those bags?
Me: That'd be great. And speaking of bags, I loved the one Lana was carrying when I saw her last! Is she around so I can ask her where she got it? And if not, why not? And are you maybe into meeeeeeeeeeeeals that involve seafood because I'm hungry..."

Yeah, I'm often a case of mouth moving before brain can have its say in what's going to come out.

As for whether it's how he cares for Chloe...hmmm...I'll have to think about that. It's certainly different than the way he cares about Chloe, but even if you're talking romantically, I'm not sure that I'd agree. I think he's mentally closed that door and isn't really considering it at this point. Maybe where he was with Chloe several seasons ago, like when he went to Lex and said, "I know these two girls..." Back then, he KNEW he was interested in her, he just didn't know how much and to what degree and what he wanted to do about any of it.

I think his feelings for Lois are rather like his feelings for Chloe were at that point. Uncertain and not terribly well defined. He's still trying to sort things out in his head.

Hey, you're not alone, because I sure as heck would have asked about that too. It would have come out of my mouth long before talking about an almost kiss would have. Yep, I agree, his feelings are uncertain and not really defined. He hasn't defined anything. Perhaps that's coming. But he doesn't seem particularly interested at this time in exploring the feelings or defining them. It's not at the top of his list right now. So maybe it boils down to him not really being open to being just that into her. I think he could be interested if he allowed himself to be, but he isn't and therefore, he's just not there.

[Jade4813]

So you don't think all that time she had would have diffused things, but instead allowed her to think about what happened in Bride on an ongoing basis & increased her expectations? I always thought that her expectations would have lessened because the moment where she was more emotional (due to the events in Bride) had passed and that she would have been more level headed. In fact, during the break after Bride, I read many posts here by people saying when Lois returns she will be hiding her feelings again. But the exact opposite of that happened.

Well, she was kind of hiding her feelings. She didn't go right up to him and lay one on him or anything. She was simply feeling out the territory, seeing whether he returned her feelings. I don't think it's a matter of her expectations getting heightened while she was away; it seems to me though that you were expecting them to be completely deflated. And I don't think that would have necessarily happened. I think she'd have spent a lot of time going, "Hah! Nothing happened between us! And it doesn't mean anything anyway! I don't care about Clark; he doesn't care about me. And I'm perfectly fine about all of that." But hoping she was wrong. Another part of her was saying, "Clark, won't you come over here and make a liar out of me?" (Paraphrasing HJ's line from Someone Like You)

So when she came back, she didn't grab him and lay one on him. But she did feel out the territory - because a part of her did hope that perhaps, given everything that she KNEW had happened between them - he could have felt the same way about her. And at the end, when she found out he didn't...I read disappointment there, and a little heartache at thinking the man she loved didn't love her back. Not crushing disappointment, like you would expect if she'd come back thinking that he absolutely without a doubt loved her and then found out she was wrong.

She cares about him; it's natural for her to hope that he feels the same about her. And he leaned in for the kiss; there's cause for her to not completely feel her hope is unjustified. But she wasn't going to just throw herself out there. That's why she did something that was non-aggressive and played it all off. "Come for coffee if you're interested; if not, that's cool." And as I said in the above post, if she'd realized she wasn't alone, she'd likely have played off the text as, "Okay, no big. It was just coffee." I expect we only saw that she was disappointed BECAUSE she thought she was alone.

[geminis]

I think Clark's realizing that he IS into Lois; before the date stamp got set backward again, he called Lois special. He also showed up, dressed up, albeit to hide in the shadows. He had to go to the cafe to see if Lois had showed up, a sign that she cared, and lo and behold, there she is! A ha! An answer to Committed. But because he has just seen yet again that bad things can happen to people who know his secret, he won't approach her, because it wouldn't be just two friends having coffee. He is opening up to the idea of a relationship with Lois, but he's also very protective of friends and family and at the moment he thinks her knowing his secret and possibly having a romance is too dangerous for her.

[Clana4Life]

What I think will happen is that Lois will fall for the Blur without knowing it's Clark. And we will have an early version of the classic Superman situation. And this will end up with Clark being more comfortable because Lois won't be after Clark Kent, but his hero persona instead. So Clark Kent will have nothing to hide---hence the beauty of the Superman schematic.

I don't know how this could happen unless Clark starts donning a mask and changing his voice when he's the RBB. Otherwise it will be impossible for him to fool Lois. I really don't want to see this faux-Superman suit. I wouldn't really care for the storyline because he still wouldn't totally be being honest with her. I hope they don't do this triangle without Superman.

[Jade4813]

Once again, if he's not into her at all why did he show up in the first place?

Voyeurism?

I was one of the one's who hoped that when she came back she wouldn't give a crap about Clark. There are many fanfics of her coming back giving him the cold shoulder. True all of us know wth he was doing during the abscence and thats why we want her to be pissed; but either way after what happened I am stunned that any woman would put herself to be treated that way again!

I was hoping - because I know what had happened - that she'd give him the cold shoulder. But I wasn't particularly surprised - because she didn't know what had happened - that she didn't. I thought it was interesting (and rather sad) that so much of her interaction with Clark had to do with her trying to find out whether or not she was important to him. I think that's significant; because she spent the time away not knowing if she was or not.

I'm sure now she feels like she has her answer and she WILL be cold to him. But up until this point, I don't think she knew one way or another, so she didn't want to make assumptions until she found out for sure.

BTW, you've got a lovely avi. And thank you, Clana4Life, for your kind words!

[Clana4Life]

I think Clark's realizing that he IS into Lois; before the date stamp got set backward again, he called Lois special. He also showed up, dressed up, albeit to hide in the shadows. He had to go to the cafe to see if Lois had showed up, a sign that she cared, and lo and behold, there she is! A ha! An answer to Committed. But because he has just seen yet again that bad things can happen to people who know his secret, he won't approach her, because it wouldn't be just two friends having coffee.

But Lois was going to be there anyway. It was never a question of whether she showed up. She said she would be there drinking coffee to get over jet lag and left the ball in his court after that. It was really about him showing up. So he couldn't be going to see if she showed up. I think had he done it via text (as he did) or face to face, he would have let her down and played down the kiss. I agree he doesn't want to hurt her, but I also don't think he's there yet.