SmallvilleMan
01-31-2008, 07:21 PM
I'll get rid of the particulars first:
PG-13
I own Nothing.........
This will be the morning after the episode tonight(Persona)
Hello, again, it's me your favorite clana shipper or least favorite clana shipper. I've started and not finished a lot of stories, mostly because my motivation has been lacked, because of the show. I apologize to people who have read them and wanted them finish, but I've always been ruled by emotions and the show made me upset, which killed anything I could do. It's sad, because I had a lot of good ideas and I missed coming on here with the good clana fans of past and present, who I would appreciate if they read this one last story of mine. Although, I must say I don't miss going outside these boards, for obvious reasons. The biggest one being that I don't have the heart to defend my ship against billions of people. I feel like the Greeks in 300........Anyways, I'll post my one-shot very shortly.
Thank you,
HTD
----- Added 1 Hours and 45 Minutes later -----
Looking into the Mirror
Clark hesitantly made his way up to the loft. He had heard Lana roll out of bed hours ago. He knew she had come up here, because afterall he did know her or at least that's what he thought. After these past weeks nothing she had done had reminded him of her and nothing bothered Clark more.
Throughtout Clark's entire life, everything seemed to be a mystery, from who he was, to how he could do the things he could do or why he was sent here. The only thing besides his parents that made sense to him was Lana and how he felt about her. Every time he was down, there she was, bringing him back up, even when she didn't know it. She was his light and now that light was suddenly growing dim. Of course, he blamed himself for putting her in his situation, all the lies, the “I don't love you” and every other time he couldn't be there for her when she needed him the most.
But then there was that little voice in his head that whisepered, 'maybe she's changed, maybe she isn't the girl I love anymore. How could she not know it was me?'. All the questions that cloud people's minds during times of doubt and the only way to get rid of them was to confront them, head on.
As Clark stood on the last step on the stair case he noticed Lana staring intently at the mirror in front of her. “It's funny how you can look the mirror every day, to do your hair, to put on make-up and never really look in the mirror at yourself.” Lana said, having heard Clark come up the stairs.
“Lana..........” Clark began to say.
“I've been up here all night, just looking into the mirror. Just trying to figure out who the person is that I'm looking at, because I really don't know anymore, because she isn't the Lana I know or at least not the one I want to be.” Lana closed her hands, lightly putting her hands on the mirror and turning it away. “But after a while, you just can't look anymore. It just hurts too much to see the person on the other side. It hurts too much to keep looking at the truth that's right in front of your face. How you've continually hurt the man you love and pushed away the friends who were always there for you, even when you told them not to be.” Lana's head dropped slightly, refusing to look up at Clark who had now approached him. His face was now softened by her words.
“He was exactly like me Lana. It wasn't your fault, if I had only listened to Jor-el none of this would never have happened.” Clark tried to tell her, but Lana shook her head violently.
“DON'T DO THAT! DON'T TAKE THE BLAME FOR MY MISTAKES.” Lana yelled, filled with anger. “You would never have let some fake Lana come in her, then would have slept with her. That's not you Clark, don't you understand, I didn't know the man I loved. You could have been in trouble and I wouldn't have known. What if you needed me? But no, I was too stupid, yet again to see what was right in front of my face.” Lana paused to look up at him. “Look at you, I can see the hurt in your eyes. The pain that I've caused you, just like so many times before when I've come up here and scorned you for keeping secrets or trying to protect me.” Lana put her hands through her hair as her anger boiled over.
Clark was at a loss for her words as he began to see the pain in her eyes. He wanted to say something, but Lana slowly opened her mouth again. “Look at me Clark, I was so obsessed with vengence that I kidnapped Lionel and spied on Lex. Not even thinking about what it could have done to us. Not even thinking about how it would make you feel or how it could affect the people around me. It was like nothing meant more to me than hurting them, not even us and I just can't accept that. I just can't accept this person I am and not for me, but for you. You deserve so much better than me.” Lana looked broken heartedly into Clark's eyes.
Clark gently reached for Lana's hand, taking it into hers and lead her to the couch. “Please sit.” Lana sat at Clark's request as did Clark himself. “Do you remember when I told you about what really happened the day of the election?” Lana nodded sadly, yet another reason for her to hate herself. “For the next week after that day, I became a different person. You don't know this and neither does he, but I would run to Lex's mansion. I would stand in the shadows of the mansion, hatred inside my heart, trying to stop myself from going in the mansion and killing Lex. I knew what he did, even though he didn't. I know that he was the reason you died that day and the reason my father died. I thought that if I killed him, everthing would be ok, that we could now be together and I wouldn't have to worry about losing you again. I wanted to kill him.” Clark opened up to her as she looked on.
“But you didn't.” Lana replied and Clark nodded.
“No, because my mother sat me down and told me that the only way to get rid of the darkness was to fill it with light. You can't get rid of the darkness by filling it with darkness of your own.” Lana looked away at his comments and shook her head slowly.
“That doesn't change what I've done. You can't sit here and tell me that what happened hasn't hurt you.” Lana responded with pain in her eyes.
“You're right, it did hurt me. It did hurt to know that some other guy could have had your heart and it did hurt for you not know it was me. Just as I'm sure it hurt to be told by the one you love that he doesn't love you anymore. We have to learn to forgive ourselves, otherwise we can never move on. We can never be what we've always wanted like we are right now.” Clark said in hopes of relieving her pain.
“I just can't Clark...........I just can't.” Lana put her face in her hands. Clark suddenly got up and walked to the mirror, bringing it directly in front of both of them.
“You know what I see?” Clark asked, but not waiting for her to answer. “I see the girl the saved Chloe and my father's life from a guy who had a shotgun to her chest. She was willing to sacrifice her life for the life of people she cared about. I see the girl who married someone to save my life. I see the girl who took my hands in hers and told me that everything was going to be alright. Most importantly, I see the girl that I've always loved and always will love, no matter what happens.” Clark sincerely said from his heart as Lana looked on.
“Is this how you felt, all these years?” Lana needed to ask him.
“All the time. It was never easy constantly lying to the girl I love and knowing that I pushed her away to someone who was going to hurt her.” Clark confessed the pain resurfacing into his eyes.
“Did you ever forgive yourself?” Lana wanted to know as Clark looked down into her red glazed over eyes.
“No, I never did.” Clark turned away, remembering all the times he spent up in the loft thinking about the decisions he had made that caused the people he loved to be hurt.
“What If I said that I forgave you for everything that you have ever done to me. What if I said that I love you and always loved you despite anything you've ever done? Would you forgive yourself then? Could you do that, for me?” Lana asked lovingly as she now looked into his eyes.
It had seemed as if all of a sudden the situation had changed. Clark had now found himself in the same situation as Lana was just in as memories streamed into his head about everything he had done to hurt he people he loved. Almost as if this was the exact moment two years ago when he had told Lana that he didn't love her anymore. “I..........don't know.” Clark said, loss in his memories.
“Then how can I do that myself? How I can forgive myself if you can't do the same thing?” Lana questioned him with sadness in her eyes as Clark looked down at her confused in pain.
“You're right, it's not fair for me to ask you to do the same thing.” Clark thought for a second. “How about we do it together?” Clark questioned her and Lana took his hands.
“I forgive you.” They both said at the same time, looking deeply into each other's eyes. Almost as if they are taking the pain from one another..
“Hey look......” Lana pointed out the sun rise.
“It's a new day.” Clark smiled.
PG-13
I own Nothing.........
This will be the morning after the episode tonight(Persona)
Hello, again, it's me your favorite clana shipper or least favorite clana shipper. I've started and not finished a lot of stories, mostly because my motivation has been lacked, because of the show. I apologize to people who have read them and wanted them finish, but I've always been ruled by emotions and the show made me upset, which killed anything I could do. It's sad, because I had a lot of good ideas and I missed coming on here with the good clana fans of past and present, who I would appreciate if they read this one last story of mine. Although, I must say I don't miss going outside these boards, for obvious reasons. The biggest one being that I don't have the heart to defend my ship against billions of people. I feel like the Greeks in 300........Anyways, I'll post my one-shot very shortly.
Thank you,
HTD
----- Added 1 Hours and 45 Minutes later -----
Looking into the Mirror
Clark hesitantly made his way up to the loft. He had heard Lana roll out of bed hours ago. He knew she had come up here, because afterall he did know her or at least that's what he thought. After these past weeks nothing she had done had reminded him of her and nothing bothered Clark more.
Throughtout Clark's entire life, everything seemed to be a mystery, from who he was, to how he could do the things he could do or why he was sent here. The only thing besides his parents that made sense to him was Lana and how he felt about her. Every time he was down, there she was, bringing him back up, even when she didn't know it. She was his light and now that light was suddenly growing dim. Of course, he blamed himself for putting her in his situation, all the lies, the “I don't love you” and every other time he couldn't be there for her when she needed him the most.
But then there was that little voice in his head that whisepered, 'maybe she's changed, maybe she isn't the girl I love anymore. How could she not know it was me?'. All the questions that cloud people's minds during times of doubt and the only way to get rid of them was to confront them, head on.
As Clark stood on the last step on the stair case he noticed Lana staring intently at the mirror in front of her. “It's funny how you can look the mirror every day, to do your hair, to put on make-up and never really look in the mirror at yourself.” Lana said, having heard Clark come up the stairs.
“Lana..........” Clark began to say.
“I've been up here all night, just looking into the mirror. Just trying to figure out who the person is that I'm looking at, because I really don't know anymore, because she isn't the Lana I know or at least not the one I want to be.” Lana closed her hands, lightly putting her hands on the mirror and turning it away. “But after a while, you just can't look anymore. It just hurts too much to see the person on the other side. It hurts too much to keep looking at the truth that's right in front of your face. How you've continually hurt the man you love and pushed away the friends who were always there for you, even when you told them not to be.” Lana's head dropped slightly, refusing to look up at Clark who had now approached him. His face was now softened by her words.
“He was exactly like me Lana. It wasn't your fault, if I had only listened to Jor-el none of this would never have happened.” Clark tried to tell her, but Lana shook her head violently.
“DON'T DO THAT! DON'T TAKE THE BLAME FOR MY MISTAKES.” Lana yelled, filled with anger. “You would never have let some fake Lana come in her, then would have slept with her. That's not you Clark, don't you understand, I didn't know the man I loved. You could have been in trouble and I wouldn't have known. What if you needed me? But no, I was too stupid, yet again to see what was right in front of my face.” Lana paused to look up at him. “Look at you, I can see the hurt in your eyes. The pain that I've caused you, just like so many times before when I've come up here and scorned you for keeping secrets or trying to protect me.” Lana put her hands through her hair as her anger boiled over.
Clark was at a loss for her words as he began to see the pain in her eyes. He wanted to say something, but Lana slowly opened her mouth again. “Look at me Clark, I was so obsessed with vengence that I kidnapped Lionel and spied on Lex. Not even thinking about what it could have done to us. Not even thinking about how it would make you feel or how it could affect the people around me. It was like nothing meant more to me than hurting them, not even us and I just can't accept that. I just can't accept this person I am and not for me, but for you. You deserve so much better than me.” Lana looked broken heartedly into Clark's eyes.
Clark gently reached for Lana's hand, taking it into hers and lead her to the couch. “Please sit.” Lana sat at Clark's request as did Clark himself. “Do you remember when I told you about what really happened the day of the election?” Lana nodded sadly, yet another reason for her to hate herself. “For the next week after that day, I became a different person. You don't know this and neither does he, but I would run to Lex's mansion. I would stand in the shadows of the mansion, hatred inside my heart, trying to stop myself from going in the mansion and killing Lex. I knew what he did, even though he didn't. I know that he was the reason you died that day and the reason my father died. I thought that if I killed him, everthing would be ok, that we could now be together and I wouldn't have to worry about losing you again. I wanted to kill him.” Clark opened up to her as she looked on.
“But you didn't.” Lana replied and Clark nodded.
“No, because my mother sat me down and told me that the only way to get rid of the darkness was to fill it with light. You can't get rid of the darkness by filling it with darkness of your own.” Lana looked away at his comments and shook her head slowly.
“That doesn't change what I've done. You can't sit here and tell me that what happened hasn't hurt you.” Lana responded with pain in her eyes.
“You're right, it did hurt me. It did hurt to know that some other guy could have had your heart and it did hurt for you not know it was me. Just as I'm sure it hurt to be told by the one you love that he doesn't love you anymore. We have to learn to forgive ourselves, otherwise we can never move on. We can never be what we've always wanted like we are right now.” Clark said in hopes of relieving her pain.
“I just can't Clark...........I just can't.” Lana put her face in her hands. Clark suddenly got up and walked to the mirror, bringing it directly in front of both of them.
“You know what I see?” Clark asked, but not waiting for her to answer. “I see the girl the saved Chloe and my father's life from a guy who had a shotgun to her chest. She was willing to sacrifice her life for the life of people she cared about. I see the girl who married someone to save my life. I see the girl who took my hands in hers and told me that everything was going to be alright. Most importantly, I see the girl that I've always loved and always will love, no matter what happens.” Clark sincerely said from his heart as Lana looked on.
“Is this how you felt, all these years?” Lana needed to ask him.
“All the time. It was never easy constantly lying to the girl I love and knowing that I pushed her away to someone who was going to hurt her.” Clark confessed the pain resurfacing into his eyes.
“Did you ever forgive yourself?” Lana wanted to know as Clark looked down into her red glazed over eyes.
“No, I never did.” Clark turned away, remembering all the times he spent up in the loft thinking about the decisions he had made that caused the people he loved to be hurt.
“What If I said that I forgave you for everything that you have ever done to me. What if I said that I love you and always loved you despite anything you've ever done? Would you forgive yourself then? Could you do that, for me?” Lana asked lovingly as she now looked into his eyes.
It had seemed as if all of a sudden the situation had changed. Clark had now found himself in the same situation as Lana was just in as memories streamed into his head about everything he had done to hurt he people he loved. Almost as if this was the exact moment two years ago when he had told Lana that he didn't love her anymore. “I..........don't know.” Clark said, loss in his memories.
“Then how can I do that myself? How I can forgive myself if you can't do the same thing?” Lana questioned him with sadness in her eyes as Clark looked down at her confused in pain.
“You're right, it's not fair for me to ask you to do the same thing.” Clark thought for a second. “How about we do it together?” Clark questioned her and Lana took his hands.
“I forgive you.” They both said at the same time, looking deeply into each other's eyes. Almost as if they are taking the pain from one another..
“Hey look......” Lana pointed out the sun rise.
“It's a new day.” Clark smiled.