Quotes you "wish" were in Blue

[xrayvision]

Lara: Hello son.

Clark: Hey mommy.

Lara: Who's this?

Clark: It's Lana, my girlfriend.

Lara: No playing with filthy, disgusting girls.

Clark: Yes mother.

Lana: But Clark...

Clark: You heard her.

<Clark puts on a dress and kills Lana>

Lara: That's a good boy Nor...I mean Clark.

Clark: Thank you mother.

<Later>

Lex Luthor: Don't cry poor to me Clark. With that big piece of real estate...why you can just sell an acre. Yeah!!

<Clark breaks a guitar over Lex's head>

Clark: You think I'm stupid Lex. Even if I gave you money, you'd still tell about mother and no one must know about her or what she's done.

[superhippie2000]

Clark: Lana im sorry but im leaving you for Smurfette.
Lana: Thats fine for me Brainy is more my type.

[Alexander III]

Clark: Hi mommy!
Lara: Kal-El, there's something u need to know about Lana.
Clark: Wut is it, mommy?
Lara: Lana is your kryptonian sister. She lost her power by accident. Now I will restore her power.
Clark: She's my sister? Oh snap!
Lana: NOO! (And she kills herself)

The end. Wut a happy ending!

[xrayvision]

<This one's based off a recent Supernatural episode>

Lara: Hello Kal-El.

Clark: Hi mommy.

Lara: Is everything alright?

Clark: Yes mommy. I love you mommy.

Lara: I have to go to the bathroom.

Clark: Mommy! Let me in mommy! Let me in!!!

<Lex comes in>

Lex: It's a changeling!!

Lucas: How do we kill it?

Lex: What does dad's journal say?

Lucas: It says to use flame kryptonite.

Lex: Go to the Porsche and get me some.

Clark: Mommy!!! Are you gonna let these strange men get me Mommy??!?!?!!

<Lucas returns with the flame kryptonite>

Lucas: Die you Big Dumb Changeling!!!

Clark: Mommy!!!! Arrrhhhh!!!!!!!! Raaaaahhhhhrrrrr!!!!!

[superhippie2000]

Mommy lol. that was so creepy and annoying in that episode. mommy this mommy that lol.

[xrayvision]

That reminded me of Halloween 6 and how that kid was screaming "Mommy...scary man out to get me!!!!" after he practically jumped into Michael Myers' arms. That had to be one of the dumbest kids in any movie I've seen. I wonder if he's Lana's true brother?

[prometheus04]

Clark (Pinky): What are we going to do next week Chloe???

Chloe (Brain): Same thing you do everyweek clark... You'll make a really stupid dicision and put everyone in danger!!

Cue music....

[xrayvision]

Lara: What are you doing Kal-El?

Clark: I'm not Kal-El.

Lara: Oh no. You've been possessed!!

Clark: By the greatest member of the House of El. The King.

Lara: The King?

Clark: Yes. El-Vis.

Lara: Don't you mean Vis-El?

Clark: No, I'm dislexic.

Lara: Why are you here? What do you want with my son?

Clark: I wanna sing. I'm the King. Where's my pink Cadillac?

Lara: Some crazy b*tch named Lana was driving it.

Clark: That makes me so blue, Priscilla darling.

Lara: Get your hands off me. I'm your mother.

Clark: You are one hot mama, P baby!!

Lara: Why don't you leave. Knowing that crazy Lana, I doubt you'll ever see your pink Cadillac again in one piece.

Clark: Oh, mama, I'll miss my pink buddy.

Clark (singing): I'll have a blue Clarksmas without you...

Lara: Oh dear!!

Pete: Yeah, El-Vis!!!

[Twitch]

Originally posted by xrayvision
Lara: What are you doing Kal-El?

Clark: I'm not Kal-El.

Lara: Oh no. You've been possessed!!

Clark: By the greatest member of the House of El. The King.

Lara: The King?

Clark: Yes. El-Vis.

Lara: Don't you mean Vis-El?

Clark: No, I'm dislexic.

Lara: Why are you here? What do you want with my son?

Clark: I wanna sing. I'm the King. Where's my pink Cadillac?

Lara: Some crazy b*tch named Lana was driving it.

Clark: That makes me so blue, Priscilla darling.

Lara: Get your hands off me. I'm your mother.

Clark: You are one hot mama, P baby!!

Lara: Why don't you leave. Knowing that crazy Lana, I doubt you'll ever see your pink Cadillac again in one piece.

Clark: Oh, mama, I'll miss my pink buddy.

Clark (singing): I'll have a blue Clarksmas without you...

Lara: Oh dear!!

Pete: Yeah, El-Vis!!!
Omg xray I'm dying here! :lol: ProductPlacementPete coming in at the end made it so perfect lol

[noblue4u]

<Clark> Mommy?

<Lara> Yes dear?

<Clark> Why do most of the people I know have L.L. as initials? Lionel, Lana, Lex... even YOU have an "L" name!

<Lara> I don't know, honey. It's a mystery, I guess.

--Clark sits in silence, looking down at his coloring book.---

<Clark> Mommy?

<Lara> Yes, precious?

<Clark> I ate a crayon.

[TWLOVER03]

i ate a crayon hahahaha and PPP (product palcement pete) and the dislexic comment i love it!

Clark: Okay so I'm supposed to be the last Kryptonian, the Kara #1 comes but it's really just some girl named lindsey, then milton fine, Bizzaro, Zod, Real Kara, Raya, you, Zor-EL I mean jeez, was the whole damn race saved except for Jor-El??

Lara: What can I say, we're kryptonians, we're just screwed up.

[CK4eva]

Clark: Lana, its over. I can finally see the true you. You are nothing but evil. I am leaving you for someone else.

Lana: Who is this, someone else?

Clark: Take a wild guess?

Lana: Is it Wonderwoman?

Clark: No Lana, don't be stupid. It's Chloe.

Lana: No come on, you must be joking about this whole thing.

Chloe walks in

Lana: Oh, you weren't kidding. Oh well, I'm off to see Aunt Nell.

Just wanted to make up anything. Not necessarily for this episode.

[TWLOVER03]

Originally posted by CK4eva
Clark: Lana, its over. I can finally see the true you. You are nothing but evil. I am leaving you for someone else.

Lana: Who is this, someone else?

Clark: Take a wild guess?

Lana: Is it Wonderwoman?

Clark: No Lana, don't be stupid. It's Chloe.

Lana: No come on, you must be joking about this whole thing.

Chloe walks in

Lana: Oh, you weren't kidding. Oh well, I'm off to see Aunt Nell.

Just wanted to make up anything. Not necessarily for this episode.
Umm i nominate you to write smallville during the writers strike!

[outsyder]

(I have a lot on my mind after this *excellent* episode, sorry)

Clark: Jor-El- please tell me where Kara is at!

Jor-El: You have forsaken me, my son, I have warned you, time and time again about your destiny-

Clark: OH SHUT THE F*CK UP JOR-EL

Jor-El: O_O....... Congradulations son, your final test was to stand up to the hypocracy of my mindless rambling.

Clark:....what?

Jor-El: Yes... That was the test all along, for you to-

Clark: I've been sticking to my destiny for the past 6 years-

Jor-El: Kara is in Michigan.

Clark: MICHIGAN?! WHAT?!

Jor-El: Yes, and she has Amnesia.

Clark:....Huh?

Jor-El: But Beware, BrainIAC has returned-

Clark:...How???

Jor-El: Through particles in the air suppressed by Kryptonite.

Clark: When did that-

Jor-El: And Grant Gabriel Is Lex Luthor's dead younger Brother!!!!

Clark:................................Lame.

Jor-El: Eh, it's sweeps.

Clark: Eh.... So now what?

Jor-El: OH- cliffhanger- uhhh, you will serve some sort of consequence for your actions!

Clark: So since I didn't take my training and I've been avoiding it for over a year, you're going to punish me for not taking the training by sending me on some random task that's going to increase my avoidance of the training. How about forcing me to train or... you know...teaching me how to fly-

Jor-El: OH- THERE'S THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER LINE- TOO LATE-

Clark: NUUUUUU-

[Billy Jor-El]

Zor-El (in the full length leather coat): "OK, now where's Joan Jett?"

[MRluvr]

Grant: Lionel is my father, you are my brother. I am Julian Luthor.
(pause)
Lex and Grant both break out laughing uncontrollably.
Lex: HA HA HA HA!! That'll be the day!

[pleasenoclois]

You guys are all hilarious. I actually cried I laughed so hard.

[DarkChilde]

Ben Hubbard: Hi-de-ho neighbor


Originally posted by Alexander III
Clark: Hi mommy!
Lara: Kal-El, there's something u need to know about Lana.
Clark: Wut is it, mommy?
Lara: Lana is your kryptonian sister. She lost her power by accident. Now I will restore her power.
Clark: She's my sister? Oh snap!
Lana: NOO! (And she kills herself)

The end. Wut a happy ending!
another Star Wars refence...
Zor-El: Kal El I am your Father
Clark: Nnnnnnnoooooooooo!
Clark: I'll never rule Earth with you.


Originally posted by noblue4u
<Clark> Why do most of the people I know have L.L. as initials? Lionel, Lana, Lex... even YOU have an "L" name!


You forgot Lois.

[Odysseus]

Originally posted by outsyder
(I have a lot on my mind after this *excellent* episode, sorry)

Clark: Jor-El- please tell me where Kara is at!

Jor-El: You have forsaken me, my son, I have warned you, time and time again about your destiny-

Clark: OH SHUT THE F*CK UP JOR-EL

Jor-El: O_O....... Congradulations son, your final test was to stand up to the hypocracy of my mindless rambling.

Clark:....what?

Jor-El: Yes... That was the test all along, for you to-

Clark: I've been sticking to my destiny for the past 6 years-

Jor-El: Kara is in Michigan.

Clark: MICHIGAN?! WHAT?!

Jor-El: Yes, and she has Amnesia.

Clark:....Huh?

Jor-El: But Beware, BrainIAC has returned-

Clark:...How???

Jor-El: Through particles in the air suppressed by Kryptonite.

Clark: When did that-

Jor-El: And Grant Gabriel Is Lex Luthor's dead younger Brother!!!!

Clark:................................Lame.

Jor-El: Eh, it's sweeps.

Clark: Eh.... So now what?

Jor-El: OH- cliffhanger- uhhh, you will serve some sort of consequence for your actions!

Clark: So since I didn't take my training and I've been avoiding it for over a year, you're going to punish me for not taking the training by sending me on some random task that's going to increase my avoidance of the training. How about forcing me to train or... you know...teaching me how to fly-

Jor-El: OH- THERE'S THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER LINE- TOO LATE-

Clark: NUUUUUU-

:lol:



Jor-El: My son, you will now witness the consequences of repeatedly defying me...*bright light starts to activate. Just then...*

Lara: JOR-EL! Don't you dare!

Jor-El: W-What? I-I thought you dissolved when the Blue crystal was destroyed. W-Where are you?

Lara: Now my essence is stored in the Fortress itself, just like yours. Now honey, I think you're being too harsh on Kal-El.

Jor-El: Lara, he needs to learn responsibilty...

Lara: Oh Jor-El, there's no need to be so heavy-handed.

Jor-El: Lara, you don't understand. First he blew up the ship we built for him when I tried to talk to him with it and then he ran off to Metropolis, then he refused to immediately find the Stones and Lex Luthor, Lionel Luthor, a football coach, and a French witch got their hands on them first...

Lara: Jor-El, to be a good parent...

Clark: Great, now I'm stuck with a schizophrenic Fortress. *turns around and leaves the Fortress arguing with itself*

[NoSupeForYou]

Clark: If the Blue K ring vanished because I destroyed the Crystal, how am I going to defeat Bizzaro again?

Lex: You think you have a problem. This tool Grant is Julian.

Clark and Lex: Where the hell are the writers? ... Stirke? Jokes on us? What are you talking about?

[Jephael]

This is a parody of a Robot Chicken skit!

CLARK: "Lionel, are you all right?"

LIONEL: "Ow, my motherf***ing KNEE!!! Aw, f**k it all to hell! That hurt like a mother-"

CLARK: "Guess I'll have to ask my mom what that means."

[Chloe>All]

Lara: Oh, it's so wonderful to see you, Kal-El!

Clark: *sobbing* I'm glad you're here, mother.

Lara: Now I can be the mother to you that I wanted to be.

Martha: Like hell you will!

*Martha releases a ton of green kryptonite that falls on and kills Lara*

Lionel: (walking in) Wow, Martha, I am so attracted to you right now. Killing gets me so aroused.

*Lionel and Martha make out*

Clark: Looks like I'll have another new daddy. Hurray!

[imafan411]

Originally posted by MRluvr
Grant: Lionel is my father, you are my brother. I am Julian Luthor.
(pause)
Lex and Grant both break out laughing uncontrollably.
Lex: HA HA HA HA!! That'll be the day!

Okay, this one made me laugh!!!
:rotfl: :rotfl:

[NoSupeForYou]

Brothers don't shake, brothers gotta hug!

[kryptonaidxh]

:D :cool:
Clark: "Lana, I´ve rialized that all the love for you it´s gone, now I can see you just as you really are, and I don´t like you anymore".:p

Lana: "Oh Clark , why? I know I´ve been an evil b**ch, but I can change one more time for you".

Clark: "but I don´t want to be with you anymore, please don´t beg me, it´s better you pack your stuff and leave my house, I received a letter from Pete, perhaps you should move and marry him":p :D.

Lana: "Oh Clark, don´t you love me?

Clark: "Not anymore, sorry, but I think I´m starting to falling in love with someone else, I started to love Lois":D

Lana: "Oh I understand, she´s far better than me, and also she´s honest and a good girl, not like me"

Clark: "yes , I think she´s wounderful, goodbye forever Lana":D

[svtwamedfan05]

Clark: Lois I would like you to meet Kara my cousin
Lois: Hi Kara, I'm one of Clark's friends
Kara: Wow Clark this is Lois. This is the hottie you should be dating.

Clark: Lois I would like you to meet my mother Lara
Lois: Hi Lara, I'm one of Clark's friends
Lara: Jor-El you're right. She is amazing. Definitely the best woman for Clark.

[CK4eva]

Originally posted by TWLOVER03
Umm i nominate you to write smallville during the writers strike!
Thanks!!!!

[NoSupeForYou]

Clark: How was Krypton destroyed Jor-el?
Jor-el: Well, as you know it was mostly made of crystal and ice, and... uhm, welll... somone got this tuning fork and...

[MetroGirl06]

Clark: I can't get the frigging ring off!

Chloe: Clark, its a stupid ring, not rocket science! You just need to pour some canola oil on that junk. Maybe some butter. If that dont work we'll just have to cut your finger off.

[STFanatic]

Jor-el A.I. all alone in the fortress:

"Dang, I thought they would never leave, now I can watch Heroes in peace."

And:

"Now that that shrew Lara is gone, I can get back to work on the female A.I. I have been building."

Lara's voice:
"Jor-el! What have you been up to? Nothing good I'm sure... Have you been drinking again you miserable sot ... Staying out all night and then giving me some silly story!"

(Star Trek fans would know that one :p )

[last man of krypton]

Originally posted by MRluvr
Grant: Lionel is my father, you are my brother. I am Julian Luthor.
(pause)
Lex and Grant both break out laughing uncontrollably.
Lex: HA HA HA HA!! That'll be the day!

Dammit, I was gonna do a joke along those lines, but you did it far better than I was going to. :D

[svtwamedfan05]

Chloe: Ok why do I always walk in when my friends are making out?

Lara to Lana: Lana you need to stay away from my son. I have a feeling you are bringing him down.

Lex: You better stay away from Lois, I want her.
Grant: Wait I thought you liked Lana
Lex: Lana Lang? You have got to be getting me if you want her you can have her but Lois is all mine.

Shelby: Someone please get Lana off my farm so I can come home, where it used to be safe.

[Jephael]

LARA-EL: Lana, for all that is good in your heart, don't feel ashamed to seek professional help. Maybe if Jor-El and Zor-El had done so, Krypton would never had exploded.

LANA: Right, but then your son would never have arrived here, and the Kents would've remained a childless couple! Then again, if Krypton hadn't blown up those meteor rocks would never have fallen to Smallville and my parents would still be alive!

LARA-EL: Like I said, please seek professional help!

[xrayvision]

Kara: Hey, who are you?

Lindsay Harrison: Oh, my name is Kara. Who are you?

Kara: Let me see. My wallet says...my name is Kara too.

Lindsay Harrison: Some guy told me my name was really Lindsay, but the voice in the cave told me otherwise.

Kara: How long have you been here?

Lindsay Harrison: About 3 and a half years.

Kara: Bummer.

Lindsay Harrison: Hey, why were you sent here?

Kara: Because my moron cousin refused to listen to the voice in the igloo.

Lindsay Harrison: That's pretty much the same for me. How does your cousin look like?

Kara: Well, he's with this crazy, airhead bi-atch. And he loves eating pie for some reason.

Lindsay Harrison: Really? Same with the guy who got me a one way ticket to Detroit.

Kara: Here is a picture of him.

Lindsay Harrison: That's him!! That's the same dumbass Kal-El.

Kara: You mean to tell me he was just as stupid back then as he is now?

Lindsay Harrison: Well, not really. He was smarter then. At least back then he had a reason not to trust the voice in the cave.

Kara: Well if this crazy, evil bi-atch he's with is the only constant, then she must be rotting his brain.

Lindsay Harrison: Yeah, they say she's a horrible driver.

Kara: What say you & mean go get a job at the GM plant and build a car without brakes or airbags for her?

Lindsay Harrison: And lots of kryptonite so that dumbass can't save her!! You're on sis.

<At the GM Plant>

Kara: What car should we build for her?

Lindsay Harrison: A GMC truck would be perfect.

Pete: Yeah, GMC!!

Kara: Hey, do you think another Kara will show up here?

Lindsay Harrison: Probably in another 3 and a half years if we fail.

Kara: Yeah, the last thing I want to be the star of is a movie called Kara's...though I wouldn't mind dating Christian Slater.

Lindsay Harrison: Yeah, but don't forget, in Heathers the girls named Heather died, so the same would happen to the girls named Kara---us.

Kara: If we fail, I say our backup plan is to create a movie called Lanas.

<Back at the FOS>

Jor-El: You will obey me Karas!! My plan at the GM plant will have that annoying pest of a girl dead within minutes. My master plan of sending every Kara to Detroit is working!! Muahahahaha!!!!

[maryjanewatson]

Grant: I am Julian Luthor!

Lex: Who told you that? Thats impossible! You would have to be like 16. Whats wrong with you? Bringing up painful memories like that. Get out of my house.

[TWLOVER03]

Originally posted by svtwamedfan05
Chloe: Ok why do I always walk in when my friends are making out?

Shelby: Someone please get Lana off my farm so I can come home, where it used to be safe.

^^^^^:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: SHELBY IS THE ONLY ONE WITH A BRAIN! And I love Chloe's *conveinient timing* joke:rotfl: :rotfl:

[krpto]

Originally posted by maryjanewatson
Grant: I am Julian Luthor!

Lex: Who told you that? Thats impossible! You would have to be like 16. Whats wrong with you? Bringing up painful memories like that. Get out of my house.

Exactly I Was waiting for one of lex's gaurds to point this out but alas nothing.

Grant: I am julian Luthor
Lex: Not outside of here youre not
Guard number one: Excuse me Mr. Luthor There is something you should know.
Lex: What? You better not have let someone else break in here.
Guard number2: Even if we did we would still be the best security you have ever had. We just wanted to tell you he cannot be julian unless he randomly started aging twice as fast as normal humans and you found a way to revive him since your mother killed him.

[CeeJ]

Originally posted by STFanatic
Jor-el A.I. all alone in the fortress:

"Dang, I thought they would never leave, now I can watch Heroes in peace."

And:

"Now that that shrew Lara is gone, I can get back to work on the female A.I. I have been building."

Lara's voice:
"Jor-el! What have you been up to? Nothing good I'm sure... Have you been drinking again you miserable sot ... Staying out all night and then giving me some silly story!"

(Star Trek fans would know that one :p )
then clark, who feels he must teach everyone, including jor-el, how to live their lives, activates the multiple AI's of Lara he and Braniac created in order to annoy Jor-el for all eternity and REALLY teach him a lesson!;)

[MRluvr]

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by MRluvr
Grant: Lionel is my father, you are my brother. I am Julian Luthor.
(pause)
Lex and Grant both break out laughing uncontrollably.
Lex: HA HA HA HA!! That'll be the day!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by last man of krypton
Dammit, I was gonna do a joke along those lines, but you did it far better than I was going to. :D

Thanx!

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by maryjanewatson
Grant: I am Julian Luthor!

Lex: Who told you that? Thats impossible! You would have to be like 16. Whats wrong with you? Bringing up painful memories like that. Get out of my house.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:rotfl:

[NoSupeForYou]

Originally posted by krpto
Exactly I Was waiting for one of lex's gaurds to point this out but alas nothing.


They don't really do much other than wave to people as they pass by so why would they start noticing anything now?

Actually, when I picture his guards I think of Peter Griffin from Family Guy when he was George Harrison's security guard. :D

[xrayvision]

<Martha in Washington looking up at the eclipse in the sky>

Martha: Oh no! What did that idiot do this time!

[TheANIMAL (marcus)]

^^ Aint that the truth.

[jesustlife]

(When Zor-el finds Lara and Lana. Zor-El grabs Lara and....

(Suspense heroic music)

Lana: (In a strong heroic tone) Let her go.

Lara: Lana, please. We are not doing "Wrath" anymore. That was last week. Please don't let the darkness blind your already blinded bra...

Zor-el: SILENCE!

Lana: I won't let you get away with this. You are going to PRINT THAT STORY!

Lara: Oh, Lana....

BAMM!!

(Zor-el throws her against the elevator).




Originally posted by krpto
Exactly I Was waiting for one of lex's gaurds to point this out but alas nothing.

Grant: I am julian Luthor
Lex: Not outside of here youre not
Guard number one: Excuse me Mr. Luthor There is something you should know.
Lex: What? You better not have let someone else break in here.
Guard number2: Even if we did we would still be the best security you have ever had. We just wanted to tell you he cannot be julian unless he randomly started aging twice as fast as normal humans and you found a way to revive him since your mother killed him.

As Grant enters Lex office to talk:

Grant Gabriel: I just came in to let you know that Lois and I are no longer doing the hanky panky. Are you happy now?

Lex: Believe me, is for your own good.

Grant Gabriel: Sure....... Are this for my own good too?

(Grant throws like a dozen pictures of Lex in compromising positions and using woman's clothing, and 2 or 3 sex toys)

Lex: (Silence. Slowly looks up to Grant's eyes.)

Grant Gabriel: I'm not your stupid lab rat!

Lex: (Starts laughing trying to control himself with hand on his mouth).

Grant Gabriel: I'm not afraid of Lionel Luthor.

Lex: (Continues to laugh but low).

Grant Gabriel: Lex? LEEXX?? I am Julia....

Lex: WROOOOOOOOONG!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Damn I got you good.

[Odysseus]

*The Daily Planet gang looks up at the eclipse in the sky*

Chloe: Does this mean "Heroes" is on?

[jesustlife]

Lara: Let Zor-el find me. I don't want any harm come to you.

Clark: You know what is the only thing I've been doing since I landed here?

Lara: (Oh, here we go.)

Clark: Wonder how my real mom looked like. And now that you are here....I don't want to loose you.

Lara: Son, you already lost me. When Krypton exploded.

Clark: I won't let anything happen to you.

Lara: You know what it feels like to have a 500 ton wall fall over your body all except my shoulders and my face? My guts splattered all over the place....

Clark: Mom, please....

Lara: Some of my remains fell on Jor-el's face. He then tripped and fell...

Clark: Mom stop, I don't want to hear it.....

Lara: And then, he stood up but tripped again, and you know those structures in your fortress, you know the ones with pointy crystals that look like the pit from Mortal Kombat?

Clark: Oh, please mom no...

Lara: Well your father tripped and was impailed from head to toe in that structure.

Clark: Mom, stop! I get it.

Lara: The Kents raised you well....