"Numb" [PG-13] (Short-fic)

[clana4ev3r]

A/N: Don't worry I haven't abandoned my fics don't worry. :D And I won't abandon this either. :D

This is a simple 4 part fic that I came up with.

Everything from "Reckoning" to "Hypnotic" to "Fade" has happened. Takes place a few weeks after these episodes...if that makes any sense...

Okay on to the story! :)


PT. 1

It was amazing how four words can hurt someone so badly. But to be the one to say it is probably even worse. Or maybe it’s the same amount of pain to endure. It’s like murder, the killer and the victim. The killer is the one that inflicts the pain and the victim is the one that feels the pain. But who’s behind the mask murderer is what was important. Did they have a soul to care? Or did they just didn’t care at all?

For Clark Kent, he did have a soul, a pure-hearted soul in fact. But did he inflict pain? Yeah, or so he thinks so. Whether it was intentional or not, he did and he regrets it, regrets it all. To know, he hurt the ones he loved, intentional or not, was a weight on his heart and mind. More things added to it because of the decisions he made, but it was for a good cause. As long as the people he cared about walked the earth alive and well, he would make sure they would keep walking the Earth. He would do anything to make sure they were okay. Sacrifice anything to know they were okay.

Sacrifice. That was a word that was used to explain what happen in the past few weeks. It all started with his relationship with Lana that was bound to go in ruins if he didn’t do anything about it. One fateful day, he did do something about it. It started with a phone call to bring a pair of gloves and scarf; it was cold that day yes, but where they were about to go was even colder. He brought her to the infamous Kawatchee Caves where from there; he led her to his Fortress of Solitude, his real one.

He told her of his origins, his powers, and who he really was. Everything that she had questions about was all answered on this one time and place. What was even more eventful of all this, was the proposal. If there was one thing he was surer about was that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with his beautiful angel.

Granted, she said yes, it wasn’t immediate, but she said yes. It was perfect; he would be spending the rest of his life with her, his dad won the senate race against his ex-best friend, Lex Luthor, and the parents couldn’t have been happier for them.

But as soon as it all came together, it all fell apart. It was funny how everything started with a phone call and ended with one. He went to go do a photo-op, it couldn’t have been more than 10 minutes until he received a phone call from his fiancée.

There was urgency in her voice and also fear. He could sense she was in trouble. But it was all a blur because no later than three minutes, he heard a fearful scream and a dead line. He super sped to the scene, not caring about who saw him; his senses blocked them out and focused on the broken figure under a car.

Blood. There was so much of it, on her face, her hands, on the ground, it was everywhere. It was shear torture, pain, anything agonizing to describe that scene was there.

In a broken and painful state he begged his biological father to do something, anything to bring her back to him. His plea was granted as he turned back the day to the time where it all started.

It was the best thing that ever happened the first time around but the worse thing that happened the second time around. Instead of being a happily engaged couple, they were the couple that took a ‘break’, instead of telling the secret, he lied, instead of receiving a phone call that ended with a dead tone, he received nothing, instead of watching the love of his life shattered on the ground, he watched the man that he looked up to everyday crumble to the ground. But through all the madness, she was still safe and sound. Still walking and caring on the outside, but broken on the inside.

He watched in pain as his father was buried six feet under and felt empty as he let her fingers slip through his grasp.

He knew life would never be the same without him in his life and he didn’t know how to deal with it. He thought that at that very moment, standing in the snow and watching the coffin go down, that cruelest thing in world, was that.

But he was proven wrong in the coming weeks, watching his father being buried was only the half of it. They drifted apart everyday, they both knew it and he decided it had to come to an end. End all the secrets, end all lies, and end all the pain.

He needed her to let go, he needed to cut the rope. So he told the most regrettable lie to her and watched as she stumbled back and spoke the final words that would put an end to them…forever.

He then thought at that moment, that that was it. That was the full extent of pain he could be given. But again, he was proved wrong. For as he let her go to protect her and keep her safe, she falls into arms of danger itself. He tried to warn her, but she didn’t listen and told him that she didn’t need protection.

She didn’t need protection . It was like saying she didn’t need a hero to save her. Then he listened and watched as she told him that it was his decision that they were over.

Then perhaps, it was his fault that she fell into the arms of him, then perhaps it was his fault that he had to make that decision, perhaps it was his fault that she didn’t turn to her roommate and best friend Chloe for comfort instead of turning to the lying scumbag Lex and perhaps that it was his fault that she kissed him.

The pain was everywhere, his heart, his mind, his soul. He hated the pain, he hated that coldness, he hated the emptiness, and he hated the loneliness. He closed himself out from the world in his fortress of solitude, his loft. He kept himself up there for weeks on end until he felt numb to everything around him. His mother would come up the loft stairs and try to comfort him but he wouldn’t budge. Chloe would try to talk to him but he wouldn’t speak.

Clark Kent was numb.

Images of her bloody face and the forgotten day flashed through his mind but he had no care for them because none of it mattered anymore. Nothing mattered.

He wanted to be selfish but he didn’t have the heart to be that kind of person. He wanted to inflict pain on the people who inflicted pain on him. But he couldn’t do it without consequences and regret.

He couldn’t do anything but sit on his old, red, battered couch in the loft with his legs up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them and his face buried in them.

Out of all the days he has been up here, this day was going to be different. He was going to get rid of the pain, the suffering, and the emptiness.

And all of it involved a little red rock that was hidden in a closet of a room at Metropolis University.

Once darkness fell, he heard his mom drive away to the airport to fly to Topeka for her Senator business but of course, not before checking in on Clark. But like always he was in his same stature.

He got up from the couch for the first time in many weeks once his mom was gone. He looked at his surroundings like he was Kal-el again, but this time, he was only a shell of what Clark Kent used to be.

In only two minutes, he was already in front of the destination he was going for. Nobody seemed to notice him as they went about their own business. He x-rayed the room to see if anybody was there. Nobody was home. Chloe was probably working an all nighter at the planet and Lana, he didn’t know where she was and at the moment he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything but his goal.

He gave the doorknob a quick jerk and the door broke open. He let the door swing open and he step inside. He looked behind him before closing the door.

He did another x-ray to find what he was looking for and once he spotted it, he walked over to the closet where it was hidden and opened it.

He reached in the back and pulled out a familiar blue box. He was about to close the closet when something caught his eye. He studied the picture that hanged out of an old Nike shoe box. It was a picture of him and Lana at the barn raising last year. She was on his back and they were both smiling at the camera like they didn’t have a care in the world.

He had a sudden urge to burn a hole through it with his heat vision because he knew that life he had was over and one that he could never have again. But instead he ignored it and started to get up from the floor with the blue box in his hand.

As soon as he turned to leave, the door opened and the two people that he used to care about stood in front of him.

“What the hell are you doing here Clark?”

Lana.

“I hope you didn’t break in.”

Lex.

Clark looked at them with the same cold empty eyes he has been having for the past few weeks. Lex and Lana. Together. He looked between them and looked down at their joined hands.

He felt nothing.

[maitriniazngurl]

Great Story!! Clark didn't feel nothing?? He's not in love with Lana?? What??

Anyways can't wait for more!! Update soon!! :D

[Nemu]

ah so thats how you are called here... well then... one more person tracked down and identified...

this is a very well written story... and poor Clark...

[*#~ ClAnAfAn99210~#*]

well writin i just want to know what the hell he is thinking and why the hell is he aciting like that??!!

[clark&lanafan06]

Great start ! Please post more soon . PPMS!!!!

[emsfan]

Awesome! update soon!

[clana1fan4ever]

Great!!
Update soon!!

[happycamper]

Something really terrible seems to have happened to Clark's mental state.

Is there anything that can break through? ;)


:D :D

[clana4ev3r]

PT. 2

Lana was beyond pissed and shocked to see Clark in there, in her dorm room. He was the last person she wanted to see at the moment. It had been weeks since she’d last seen him and then all of sudden he shows up in her dorm room looking through her closet. She reflected his eyes but his emptiness and coldness had overpowered her coldness toward him.

She couldn’t help but scan his appearance; he looked horrible to say the least. His dark curly hair was messy and greasy, his red shirt was wrinkled, and he had dark circles under his eyes. His figure seemed smaller from not eating anything for weeks and a small beard formed over his chin and jaw.

He didn’t answer her question as he just stared at them with cold eyes; almost as he was examining them like a robot.

He breathed heavily and walked passed them to the door until Lex’s hand caught his arm.

Bad idea.

“I believe she asked you a question, Clark.”

He looked at Lex and back at the hand that was on his arm. Lana noticed his eyes going back a forth between Lex and his hand that was on his arm. It looked like Clark was going to rip it off if he didn’t let go soon and she was probably right too.

“Clark.” Lana slowly pulled Lex’s hand away from his arm and looked up at him with worried eyes. Something was wrong with him. He snapped his eyes toward Lana before glancing down at Lana’s hand that was about to come in contact with his that was on the doorknob. It was like slow motion and Clark jerked his hand back before she could touch it.

She felt a pull at her heart when Clark jerked his hand back. It was clear he didn’t want to be touched, especially by her.

“Clark, what’s wrong with you?” He clenched his jaw at her question. What was wrong with him? Everything was wrong with him. He couldn’t do anything without hurting anybody that’s what’s wrong. He couldn’t make anybody happy no matter what decisions he made, that’s what’s wrong. He was turning to the only thing that could free himself of everything, that’s what’s wrong. He was taking the easy way out, that’s what’s wrong.

And he couldn’t give a damn about what he was doing.

He touched the doorknob and twisted it, jerking the door open causing Lex and Lana to jerk back.

With one last look at them, he left.

He made it outside the university before he heard with his super hearing footsteps following him. Footsteps that were probably Lex and Lana’s.

With the blue box grasped in his hand inside his pocket, he super sped back to the farm.

Lana and Lex came out of the university slightly breathless from jogging down the hallway and coming down the stairs.

“Where’d he go?” Lana looked around for any sign of his red truck but found nothing.

“I don’t know I don’t see his truck.” Lex glanced around in the distance. “Where could he have gone?”

~!

Clark made it back to his loft in the same amount of time it took him to reach the dorms. He robotically walked to his desk and opened one of the drawers and pulled out a small chain necklace that was made out of lead. He took the box out of his pocket and opened it. He felt the effects of the red kryptonite pull at him, begging him to put it on.

He took the ring out and slipped the necklace through it and snapped it together. He used his heat vision to meld the metal together to fortify its strength. He held it up and looked at it with interest. This, this was the key to his freedom from the pain.

He put it on and immediately the effects started taking over. His veins glowed red along with his eyes and a slow smile crept across his lips as he felt relief all over.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath of relief.

“Free at last.”

Kal was free once again.

~!

Chloe was confused to find the doorknob to their dorm was shaky, like someone broke in. When she walked in, she was surprised to see Lana sitting on her bed cross legged. Chloe hadn’t seen her in the room in a while. They hardly say hello or good-bye anymore. Lana was always out with Lex and Chloe was always at the planet. They hardly crossed paths.

“Well, look who it is. It’s nice to know you still live here.” Chloe set her keys and purse down on her desk and turned to her friend.

“Yeah well…I’ve been…busy.” Lana shrugged.

“With what?” Chloe lifted her eyebrows slightly. “Or should I say with whom?”

Ever since Chloe heard Lana was going out with Lex, she hasn’t been exactly hunky dory about it. That was part of the reason why Clark was in his broken state. He was trying to protect her from Lex by breaking up with her but that didn’t turn out well, obviously.

“With Lex, but I have a feeling you are already know that.”

“Of course.” Chloe turned back and opened her laptop up while muttering, “It’s not like you’ll be hanging with your ex.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” Chloe forced a smile.

Lana sighed. “Uhm…have you seen Clark lately?”

“Yeah why?” Chloe turned around in her chair to face her.

“Have you noticed his…strange attitude?”

“More than you know.” Chloe scrunched her eyebrows together. How did Lana know about Clark’s state? As far as she knew, Lana didn’t want to see Clark anymore and Chloe sure didn’t tell Lana about him because she and Lana haven’t spoken until now.

“What do you mean?” She asked. Anything about Clark’s attitude would be really helpful. She had been sitting on her bed after Lex left an hour ago trying to figure out why Clark was acting the way he was. He was so…cold. His eyes that used to show comfort and love were now replaced with coldness and emptiness. That scared Lana.

Chloe sighed. “I’ve been visiting him lately and…he isn’t doing so well. He’s been stuck up in his loft for weeks and hasn’t eating anything. He won’t sleep, He won’t talk, he won’t blink, it’s like he’s not there.”

Lana felt a pull at her heart. What was going on with Clark? “He came here though.”

Chloe looked a little shock. “He was here? Walking and talking??”

“Walking yes, talking no. He was looking in the closet when Lex and I came in here.” Lana pointed to the closet to the left of her.

Why was Clark rummaging in the closet? Clark hasn’t been moving for weeks and all of a sudden he’s in the closet? What was in the closet that was so-

“Oh my god.” Chloe put a hand to her forehead. She got up from her chair and went to the closet and searched for the blue box that was supposed to be hidden in the back but came up empty handed.

“What? What is it Chloe?”

“Lana when did he leave?”

“Just an hour ago why?”

Chloe quickly got up from her spot and grabbed her keys and purse. “I got to go.”

“Chloe what’s going on?”

“I have to get to Clark.”

“Let me come too.” Lana wanted to know what was happening to Clark and why he was acting the way he was earlier when she saw him.

Chloe stared at her. It would be a risk to bring Lana along but she would probably need the help if Clark turned to red kryptonite.

“Alright come on let’s go.”

~!

Kal stepped out of the bathroom refreshed from his long hot shower with a towel wrapped around his waist. It felt so good to have a decent shower. He walked into his room and picked out a black button up shirt and dark blue jeans. By the time the emerged out of the room, his super hearing kicked in and picked up on an automobile being parked in front of the house.

Kal smirked. It seems play time was here.

“I’ll go check in the house, you check the loft.” Chloe walked over to the Kent house as Lana made her way to the barn.

As Lana made her way up the familiar loft stairs, she couldn’t help but feel guilt. Clark was…well she didn’t know how Clark was or if he was okay. She just knew that he was in trouble from Chloe’s worried voice back at the dorm. But her words echoed through her head. …He isn’t doing so well. He’s been stuck up in his loft for weeks and hasn’t eating anything. He won’t sleep, He won’t talk, he won’t blink, it’s like he’s not there. That scared Lana more than anything. Sure she hasn’t seen him or talked to him in weeks but it didn’t mean that she didn’t care. Lana almost laughed.

Weren’t her actions showing that she didn’t care? Actions speak louder than words, wasn’t that the saying?

Suddenly, Lana felt even guiltier. He was going through god knows what and she’s been going out and having fun with Lex and making Clark think that she didn’t care.

Once she reached the top, she stopped and examined the loft. Nothing has changed except for the telescope that used to sit by the window. She felt a little hurt when he told her it was broken; she used to look through that telescope with Clark when they were together, just watching the stars as he held her.

She walked over to his desk and noticed an empty blue box open. Whatever was in there was gone now. There were piles of papers on his desk that were unorganized. She started collecting the paper together and started putting it in a nice pile so that it was a bit cleaner.

When she removed the last paper a broken picture frame presented itself to her eyes.

~!

The door of the house was left unlocked, leaving Chloe with an easy task of just walking inside. She looked around the house to see if there was any sign of Clark but didn’t find anything.

“Clark?” Her voice bounced off the walls of the house, showing that it was empty. She was about to walk back out of the house until blackness overcame her.

Kal caught her after he tapped her head enough to knock her out. He picked her up and put her on the couch.

“Sorry Chlo, you’re not the one I want.” He looked toward the direction of the loft. “She is.”

~!

Lana’s heart started to ache as she picked up a broken picture frame of her. She was wearing a blue shirt and smiling brightly at the camera. The glass of the frame was broken like it had been dropped. She remembered seeing that picture on his desk, just standing out from all the rest of things that were on it. Now it was…broken.

“You know its funny how that thing broke.” Lana jerked from the sudden voice in the room and turned to see Kal standing on the top stair with his arms across his chest.

“Clark, you scared me.” Kal just shrugged as Lana put the picture down and nervously rubbed her hands against her jeans. “How did it break?”

He smirked as he made his way over to Lana and picked up the picture. “I believe I threw it.”

Kal enjoyed the hurt look on Lana’s face as he put the picture back down. He made his way over to the couch and propped his legs up on the table and put his hands behind his head.

Lana looked down at her shoes and ignored the knife in her heart.

“So, what are you doing here?”

Lana looked back at Kal with concerned eyes. Kal had to fight the urge to roll his eyes when he noticed it. “Chloe seemed a little worried about you when I told her that you had come to the dorms earlier looking for something in the closet.”

Kal put his feet down and leaned on his knees. “Okay, that explains why she’s here…now why are you here?”

Lana couldn’t believe her ears. Why was he being so rude? “I was worried about you Clark. But it seems my worries were for nothing.” She turned to leave but Kal’s laughter rang through her ears.

“You worried about me?” Kal chuckled. “Wow, that’s something new.”

Lana turned to him with a mean look. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Kal sighed and got up. “You know damn well what it means. You don’t need me to spell it out for you.”

“What’s gotten into you Clark?!”

“Nothing.” Kal shrugged and got up. “I’m perfectly fine.”

“Yeah well you didn’t seem that way when Lex and I found you in my dorm.”

“Lex.” Kal brushed off his sleeve like Lex’s dirty hand still lingered on it. “How did you end up with him anyway?”

“What do you mean? I thought we’ve been through this.”

Kal walked toward the loft window. “Okay, let me rephrase the question…what the hell was going through your head when you kissed him?”

Lana felt her blood boil. Who the hell did he think he was talking to her like this? What happened to the caring farm boy she knew? Suddenly Lana realized what he just asked. “When I kissed him? You never saw me-“

“Oh that’s right…you were too busy with his lips to even noticed that someone was in the room, huh?” Kal grinned as he turned around.

“You saw that?” Lana then started to wonder if that was the reason why Clark was acting the way he was. “Wait then that means…”

“Yep.” Kal started walking toward her until he was only a few feet away from her. “At the hospital when you told me you went to the mansion to return some books…” Kal mocked her from that day. “I already knew. So there was pretty much no point in telling me then.”

“I’m sorry you had to find out that way.”

Kal let out an airy laugh. “Are you? Are you really sorry? Or are you just saying that?”

Lana glared at him. “How dare you-“

“No. How dare you. How dare you fall into the arms of a lying scumbag like him?!”

“You must be kidding yourself if you think Lex is a liar. He’s an honest guy that was my escape from you.”

Kal laughed. “Lex honest? Please don’t make me laugh.”

“And don’t make me laugh. It’s not like you know anything about honesty.”

“Ouch. I’m hurt.” Kal smirked. “But the truth hurts.”

“Yeah and here’s the truth Clark, I’ve moved on and you should too.”

“Is that really the truth, Lana? Have you really moved on? Or do you just tell yourself that everyday?”

She had a sudden urge to slap him. Who the hell did he think he was?! “You son of-“

“Ah. You really don’t want to finish that sentence.” Kal grinned.

She gritted her teeth and angrily stomped down the stairs. She has had enough of him. Kal watched her go with an amused expression on his face.

~
Chloe wobbly walked out of the house holding her head after waking up on the couch with a major headache. She looked up at the barn to see Lana walking back toward the car with a pissed off look on her face.

“Lana!” Chloe called out. Lana looked over and quickly ran over to her friend’s side to help her.

“Oh my god Chloe, what happened?!”

“I think I got knocked out.” Chloe gave the keys to Lana. “Here you drive. Did you find Clark?”

“Yeah, but he’s not acting like himself.” Lana helped Chloe into the car and went over to the driver’s side to get in.

Chloe sighed exasperatedly. “Damn.” It looked like Clark had already put on the red-k ring on himself.

Now she was going to need some serious help.

~!

Lex sat in his study with his laptop open to his business work. He was trying to make out Clark’s behavior earlier tonight. What had gotten into him? He was like a man possessed. Not to mention the look he gave Lana too. Lex never knew he would be capable of looking at Lana that way; so coldly. After all the years he’d been gushing about her to him he thought that Clark could never hate Lana even if he tried. He couldn’t forget about how he jerked away when Lana was about to touch him.

It looks like his plan to break them apart worked in more ways then one. He smirked.

The sound of commotion outside caught his attention as he glanced up from his work just in time to see Kal emerge through the doors with a smile on his face.

“Hey Lex.”

[happycamper]

Well, I guess the red-k broke through...not that it's a good thing.:(

Lana still cares for Clark, although pride won't allow her to show it. That's a good harbinger for the future, and very different from the show where she truly has switched her affections away from Clark. :mad:

It looks like Lex is in for a bit of - well deserved - trouble...:lol:


:D :D

[clark&lanafan06]

Awsome update ! I really like your story . PPMS !!!!!

[clana1fan4ever]

Great update!!
PPMS!!

[justsuper]

Excellent work! I am very intrigued!! PPMS!!

[clana4ev3r]

PT. 3

“Chloe, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Lana asked as she gave Chloe an ice pack for her head.

Chloe sighed. She didn’t know if she should say anything because if she told Lana one thing than it would raise more questions for her but she didn’t exactly want to lie to her either.

“Like you said, he isn’t acting like himself.” Chloe shrugged. That was some of the truth.

“So what he has like a split personality?”

“No, he doesn’t have a split personality he’s just…” Chloe groaned. It looked like she couldn’t tell Lana about Clark’s alter ego without bringing in the red rocks.

“It’s just what?”

“Okay, remember when he got infected by the silver meteor rock?”

“Yeah, he’s got paranoid and thought that everyone was after him.”

“Well, this is similar to that except he got exposed to red meteor rock.” Chloe prepared herself for the non-stop questions.

“So, this particular color makes him act…different?”

“Yeah, he’s Clark, but more of a freer Clark. He does what he wants and doesn’t care for the consequences.”

“Can we get him back?”

Chloe looked down at her hands. “Maybe. I don’t know. We have to call Mrs. Kent and tell her what’s going on. But…”

“But what?”

“Even if we do get Clark back, he won’t be the same. He’ll probably just revert back to the same broken guy we saw but probably ten times worse depending on what he does when he’s on red meteor rock.”

~

“Clark, what a surprise to see you here.” Lex leaned forward as he studied his attire. “Last time we met you were a walking shell.”

Kal smirked. “Yeah, well I’m not a shell anymore.”

He walked over to the refreshments and poured liquor into a glass. “I never knew you drank, Clark.”

Kal lifted the glass up and looked at it before turning around and sliding it toward Lex. “I don’t. Have a drink Lex.”

“Look, if you’re here because of Lana then I suggest-…”

Kal laughed as he made his way over to the recliner by the door and sat down. “Do you really think this is about Lana? If I wanted to talk about Lana I would talk to her myself. But in this case, I’m here to talk about you…to you.”

“Me? Why do you want to talk about me?” Lex got up from his seat and took a seat on the couches adjacent to Kal’s seat.

“You’re dirty.” Kal was amused by Lex’s confused expression. “Lana may not see it, but I do.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Clark.”

“Really? So, Victor Stone doesn’t mean anything to you? Or hey what about those three people you help set free from Belle Reeve? Any of those ring a bell?”

“Clark, I assure you I had nothing-…”

“Oh don’t even try to deny it Lex.” Kal got up from his seat and made his way over to Lex. He picked him by his collar until Lex’s feet hung off the ground. “You can lie to anyone you like but you can’t lie to me.” Kal lifted him up higher. “I violently dislike you.”

Kal threw him toward the book shelf and he was knocked out unconscious. “And I just wanted you to know that.” He couldn’t even handle two minutes with the man and already he was pissing him off. He dusted his hands off and walked toward the laptop. Kal searched through his email and found very interesting messages.

“You sent Simone to hypnotize me so you could break me and Lana up. You’re really pathetic. You don’t even have the balls to do things yourself.” Kal took out a blank disk out from his back pocket and inserted it into the laptop and saved the files.

Before he left the room, he walked over to Lex, who was unconscious by the book shelves with a gash on his head, and kicked him in the stomach. “But I have to say, you succeeded in that.”

He stood outside the mansion and looked around before super speeding toward Metropolis.

~!

By the time Chloe and Lana got back at their dorms it was almost 1:00 in the morning. Chloe decided to call Martha in the morning since it was really late anyway. They were both tired from the day’s events and so they cleaned up and went to bed still thinking about what to do with Clark.

Kal walked silently through the halls of Met U until he came upon the same familiar door that led to Chloe and Lana’s dorm.

He x-rayed the room and found that the two girls were asleep. He also saw a chair in front of the door; probably to serve as a lock since he broke the doorknob.

He turned the knob and gave the door and slight push and super sped inside just in time to catch the chair before it fell. He quietly closed the door and put the chair back in its place.

He took the disc out of his pocket and placed it on Lana’s desk. Kal didn’t know what possessed him to do all these things. But he knew it probably had to with the necklace itself. It was made out of lead. It was probably protecting him from the full exposure of the red-k making Clark have some control over his actions. If the necklace wasn’t made out of lead, he would’ve been half-way around the world right now. If he was in complete control, he would’ve killed Lex instead of just knock him out and Kal would’ve hurt Lana deeper than that if Clark weren’t in some control. But no, Clark didn’t want to hurt anyone, Kal did but Clark didn’t.

He shook out of his thoughts and made his way toward the door until Lana mumbled incoherent things in her sleep.

“Same…handsome…guy…always…known.” Kal looked over at Lana, recognizing the same words from the forgotten day.

He shook off the feeling and probably thought she was dreaming of Lex.

“Yes Clark….marry…you…”

’No, she can’t remember. It’s all just a dream…a distant memory. She’s just cooking this up with her mind.’ Kal didn’t believe it. He wouldn’t believe it.

“…Knows…secret…didn’t tell…Lex…angry…drunk…Didn’t say anything…After me…” Lana mumbled some more while Kal stood frozen in his place.

No…it couldn’t be. She couldn’t be having dreams of that day. There couldn’t be anyway…Nobody knew but him and Chloe.

“She dreams about that day every night.” Chloe’s low whisper caught his attention as he turned to her.

“You told her.” Kal excused.

“I didn’t tell her anything. She dreams it.” Chloe didn’t know what he was doing here but she was pretty sure it had everything to do with Lana. She slowly got herself out of bed while Kal was busy staring at Lana. She glanced down at his hands and frowned when she didn’t see a ring.

“Why’d you do it Clark? Why turn to red-k?” Chloe knew the answer to that but she just needed to stall. She slowly reached for the lead box that she brought out earlier when Lana was asleep.

Lana slowly awoke from voices in the room. She slowly got up and was shocked to see Clark in the room and Chloe awake.

“Clark?” Kal snapped his head toward Lana and started to back away toward the door.

“She dreams Clark. She dreams of that day. Every night.” Chloe stated. It looked like talking about that day was breaking through Clark, red-k or not.

“NO….no…she makes it up.” Kal held his head as images of the day ran through his mind. Blood. So much blood. “I don’t love her.”

Lana’s heart shattered as she pieced together the things Chloe and Clark were talking about. “You lied.”

“No! Stop it.” Kal wanted to super speed away but the pain was too much. The pain Clark was feeling were now flowing through him. “I don’t care about you.”

“No. You do care about me.” Lana voice cracked as she continued talking. They were getting through to him, but the words coming from his mouth were so hurtful.

“Clark, your mom loves you. People still care about you. You’re a hero.” Chloe walked closer to Kal with the closed lead box behind her back.

Kal dropped to his knees. So much pain. So much guilt. He ripped open his shirt to reveal the red kryptonite glowing bright red. “Blood…so much blood.” He started staring at his hands as if Lana’s blood was stained on them.

The blood was everywhere. On her face, dripping down her hands. He was afraid to touch her, afraid that he would break her even more. He said her name, over and over again. He whispered it, yelled it, and screamed it. Two arms pulled him back and braced him tightly. The pain wouldn’t stop. He wanted to scream and yell until his throat was hoarse. Why did the world have to be so cruel to him? He finally had everything and it was taken away from him so quickly. Her blood was on his hands. He was in pure shock. Her blood on his hands. He looked at the broken figure under the SUV on the pavement covered in crimson red. Guilt consumed him whole.

It was his entire fault. He killed her. He did it. He was the murderer.

“What is he talking about Chloe?” Lana asked as tears threaten to fall from her eyes. Seeing him in so much pain tore at her heart.

“The forgotten day.” Chloe replied without thinking.

Kal screamed out in agony as he ripped the red-k from his chest and threw it across the room. He hurt her. Again. Even if it was for a good reason, he hurt her. He couldn’t forget the look in her eyes when he told her the white lie. Pain, agony…it was everything he felt. It didn’t matter anymore if it was to protect her. He shattered her heart. He broke her. He wanted to take it all back but he couldn’t…because it was over…forever. No more chances. That was it. That was the last time he would break her heart and she would make sure of it. He knew it.

Clark sobbed uncontrollably as he shook. He looked up from his hands and at Lana with red eyes. “L-Lana?” There was no limit to pain. He knew that now. He thought the most pain he could endure was watching his father be lowered to the ground, but he was wrong, he thought that the most pain was telling his angel that he didn’t love her anymore and knowing it was a lie, but he was proved wrong. He watched as she kissed him…his ex-best friend, his enemy. Betrayal. Pain. He had to accept it but couldn’t…it was his fault that she was in the arms of danger. It was his fault again. He couldn’t do anything right. He wasn’t a hero. No matter how many times he saved her and protected her, the one thing he couldn’t protect her or save her from, was himself.

He wasn’t a hero. She didn’t need his protection.

“Clark?” Lana started to make her way over to him but in a blink of an eye, he was gone.

[clana1fan4ever]

you could have just let Clark kill Lex :)
Awsome update though!!!
PPMS!!!

[clark&lanafan06]

Great update ! Please Post more soon I really want to find out what happens next .

[happycamper]

Now something like this is what should have happened - what could still happen - on the show.

I've disliked Clark near the end of the season because he ignored the pain he caused Lana - so much pain she almost killed herself and the the cause of what ultimately drove her to Lex. I didn't think Lana was blameless, but I felt fixing the situation was entirely up to Clark. You showed this all very well in your story.

Even if by accident, Clark has now taken that first step necessary to repair their break. I just hope the last part of your story fixes the situation in a way I would like it to be... :\

Kudos and thanks!


:D :D

[clana4ev3r]

Originally posted by happycamper
I just hope the last part of your story fixes the situation in a way I would like it to be... :\

Kudos and thanks!
:D :D

Well, I hope so too. This is the last part, hope you guys enjoy!

PT. 4

It had been three days since Clark disappeared from the dorms. But it was enough time for them to recover from only a day worth of events. Clark started walking again, but not a peep came from him. So when Martha came back, Chloe had to fill her in with the events that happened. He still hanged out at the farm stuck up in his loft but it wasn’t as bad as before. He only left the loft when it was necessary; like for food and doing the chores around the farm. He did everything but not a peep came from him. He only nodded and shrugged.

Chloe came to visit the farm like she did before to check up on him and make sure he wasn’t trying to kill himself. He didn’t have to say anything but Chloe knew from the look in his eyes that he wanted to know how Lana was doing. So every time she would visit, she would mention Lana’s condition. Chloe even told him that she explained the kryptonite to Lana. But that was all, just the kryptonite and nothing more and rest was up to him.

She was still confused and shocked from the things that happened in the dorm that night but she couldn’t bring up the courage to see Clark. Even though Chloe explained the rocks to her…she still had questions but didn’t have the guts to ask him. She was scared. Not of him, but scared of what she would see in his eyes. Just before Clark had super sped out of the room, she caught a glimpse of his eyes and saw so much vulnerability in his eyes. So much pain and guilt. She just wanted to hold him and never let go. She didn’t care about the secrets and lies anymore; she wanted to hold him and protect him, just like he did her.

Lana found the disc lying on her desk the day after Clark fled. She was in shock and tears when she read what Lex had been doing behind her back. Simone, the three meteor freaks, Victor Stone, the list went on. After she had had enough of the dirty things Lex had been doing, she realized that Clark was right, Lex was a lying scumbag. She ended things with him not long after she pulled herself together. She told him that it was over and said that they weren’t friends or partners anymore. She wanted nothing to do with him. He tried to win her back by telling her what Clark did to him and she couldn’t care less. He deserved what he got after what he did to her and Clark. He even asked why but she never revealed what he knew about him, instead, she just slammed the door in his face on her way out of the mansion.

Before she headed back to Metropolis though, she dropped by the Kent Farm. She never made herself known because she parked her car out of view from the house and walked the rest of the way. She stood behind the fences by the entrance to the driveway and watched as Clark did farm work.

Though she was far away, she could see that he was lost. He hardly looked where he was going and his head was always low. A glimpse of his eyes confirmed her thoughts. She had a lot of unanswered questions but that didn’t matter; what mattered was helping Clark find himself. She had to help him find the light again, help him out of the darkness and loneliness and help him find the caring, loving, farm boy that she fell in love with.

More importantly, she had to help him find the hero in him again.

And this is what drove Lana to Smallville three days later after she figured it out.

She checked her appearance in the visor mirror in her car one more time before she got out. She only walked a couple of feet until she was at the bottom of the loft stairs.

This was it, once she climbed these loft stairs; she was never going to turn her back on him again. Never.

No matter how hard he pushed her away, she would come back.

Lana reached the top of the stairs and was relieved when she found him on the couch staring at his hands.

He stared at his hands like the blood was still there. Like he couldn’t get rid of it no matter how hard he tried. Her blood would always haunt his dreams. That’s why he hardly slept. He ate and everything but the one thing he didn’t do was sleep. Memories of his mistakes would haunt his dreams and he would wake up covered in sweat. He would sob quietly for hours and would just stay up until the sun would come up in the morning.

“Clark.” Her voice was barely above a whisper but he heard her. He heard his angel. His angel that he didn’t deserve.

He turned his attention to her but didn’t say anything. Lana took a breath and made her way over to him on the couch and sat down next to him.

She licked her dry lips. “How are you?”

He looked from his hands and back at her. Why was she talking to him? Shouldn’t she hate him right now? After what had happened, he expected not to see her again.

“I saw the disc.” That got his attention because she could see the question in his eyes. Not questions of confusion, but questions of curiosity. “You were right; Lex…wasn’t the guy I thought he was. I broke up with him.”

Clark gulped. He remembered what he did to Lex and that was the one thing he didn’t feel guilty about. Lex deserved what came to him. He was a sick liar that needed to be put away for his dirty dealings. In fact, Clark wanted to expose him for the scumbag he was for a long time. It seems Kal fulfilled that for him.

He glanced down at Lana’s hands. They looked so soft. He wanted to touch them. He missed her touch so much. It seemed like eternity from the last time he touched her. He was about to touch her hand but pulled back when he remembered that she wasn’t his anymore. She would never be his again, even if she broke up with Lex, she needed to remain protected from himself. He didn’t want to hurt her anymore…He couldn’t. No matter how lost and empty he was, he had to protect her from himself.

“Clark…it’s okay.” Lana slowly reached for his hand but he moved it away. He didn’t deserve her touch. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

Clark felt tears in his eyes as he put his legs up to his chest and stared at his hands. He didn’t know who he was anymore. He wasn’t the caring, loving farm boy anymore. He wasn’t the hero that he used to be anymore. He knew it. He felt it because inside…he felt nothing. Nothing but emptiness.

Her hand came in contact with his and he felt shockwaves go through him. She wouldn’t give up on him. He felt it. A flash of light…a light of…hope? He turned to her with his lost eyes and he saw it. Determination, resolve, hope and…dare he think it, love.

He looked back at their joining hands. She was grasping it like she wasn’t going to let go. He slowly and very carefully grasped her hand and felt her warmth. Warmth that he needed to fight the cold away. He looked at her angelic face as he started to caress her hand that was in his.

Lana felt like she was going to cry. Not out of sadness but out of happiness, she was getting through to him.

He lightly started bringing his hand slowly up to her arm; feeling the light with every touch. He reached her shoulder before he brought his hand to caress her cheek. She leaned into his touch and brought her free hand up to hold his in place on her cheek.

“Clark…” She pleaded. But what was she pleading for? Pleading for Clark to keep touching her or pleading him to come back to her, come back as the caring, loving farm boy she loves.

Whatever she was pleading for seemed to have broken his spell as he withdrawed back into his shell. He wrapped his arms around his legs and buried his head in between them.

“Don’t do this Clark…Don’t pull away.” She tried to touch him again but he wiggled away.

He lifted his head up to reveal his red eyes and for the first time in a while he spoke.

“I-I…can’t.” It was barely above a whisper but she heard him.

“Let me in…I just want to help you Clark.” Tears started to build up in her eyes and Clark noticed. He couldn’t see her like that so he buried his face back between his knees.

“I’m weak…” He admitted in his hoarse voice. “I don’t want to fight anymore.”

“You’re weak…everybody’s weak. Everybody fails. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get back up and fight again. Every hero has a right to fall and every hero has a right to get right back up. You can’t let your guilt consume you Clark.”

He took in every word and realized something that he was not, “I’m not a hero.”

“And what makes you think that?” He lifted his head and looked her in the eye, almost telling her the answer was right in front of his eyes.

”I know you think your some kind of hero Clark, but the truth is, I don’t need you to protect me.” The memory hit her like a ton of bricks.

“Me?” Her voice cracked and Clark winced when he saw the pain in her eyes. He put his head back down to his knees. All he did was cause pain, she wasn’t with him for more than three minutes and he was already hurting her.

She realized at the moment that he was only withdrawing when she was in pain. She had to stay strong and show him that she wasn’t hurting. “Look at me Clark.”

He couldn’t look at her. It was going to hurt, he was almost sure of it. But her angelic voice caused him to just peek out behind his arms.


“You have the power to do real good Clark. But if you give up now all that you’ll ever be was a Kansas farm boy.” Lana looked away for a moment trying to will the tears away but it was no use. They were coming and she didn’t know if they’ll stop. “Clark please…I am trying to get through to you but you keep blocking me out. I know what I said hurt you but you have to understand-”

“You were hurt and angry.” He interrupted quietly. He had to be strong. If not for himself, then for her. “I don’t blame you…I blame myself.”

Lana listened intently to his words. He was opening up, that was a good sign.

He slowly looked up and stared at the broken picture frame that was on the table in front of him. “All you ever wanted was the truth. To know what goes on inside and to know what secrets I’ve hid from you…and I couldn’t give you that…because it was too dangerous.”

Just as Lana was about to ask how he began to explain, “I knew it was dangerous because I’ve witnessed it.” Lana’s look urged him to go on. “You may not believe this but…That day when I asked you to bring a pair of gloves and a scarf…I actually told you my secret.”

“I don’t understand.” If he had told her his secret surely she would remember.

Clark sighed heavily. He didn’t know if he could tell her without breaking down. “There were two realities…one where you asked for a break and one where I asked you to marry me. In the reality where I…asked you to marry me, I told you my secret.”

“What was it?” she asked in a whisper. She tried to wrap her mind around the fact that he asked her to marry him. But that begs the question; did she say yes?

“I’m not just some normal farm boy you think I am. In fact, I’m not normal at all. You told me that you discovered something in the first meteor shower that didn’t crash like the other meteors…instead it landed. You said that what if there was someone in there that had been living with us this whole time…Well, you’re looking right at him.”

Suddenly everything made sense to her. The way he always seemed to disappear, the way he always was there to save someone in trouble…it all made perfect sense.

He kept his eyes on the broken picture frame of Lana as he waited for her to say something. They had a lot to talk about, but he could be patient.

“You have special abilities…like they do?” He nodded. He didn’t need to know who she was referring to. “You’re from the same…place they are?” Again he nodded. “But you’re not like them.”

He glanced over at her in confusion.“Yes I am.”

“No you’re not. You may have abilities like they do or have the same home like they do but you’re like them. Because…you have a heart. You were raised by loving parents and were loved by friends. You were kind, caring, and loving…they were uncaring and bent on destroying the world. That’s what separates you from them; you have humanity in you…they don’t.” If he’d kept on staring at her than he would’ve of seen the caring and love in her eyes as she said those words.

He heard her words loud and clear and it was obvious that she accepted him for who he really was. That was a weight off his soul, but that still didn’t change the fact that she was in danger around him.

“So…can I hear the rest of this reality where you proposed to me?”

He gulped and nodded. “Well…I asked you to marry me…the answer wasn’t immediate because I knew I had to give you time to just wrap your mind around my secret…Later that day…my dad won the Senate election. I was on my way to the party when you came to the house.” He unfolded his legs and put them on the floor, but still kept his distance from her. “You said yes.”

“As in…?” She scooted a bit closer to him but he tensed up and looked out the loft window. It seemed that coming out from the red-k didn’t affect him just emotionally but physically too. He was afraid of contact for the past few days.

“As in you would spend the rest of your life with me.” He already started to feel the lump in his throat forming. He knew what was next. “So, we were engaged. We attended to party together and told my parents…they were happy for us…we were happy.” His face contorted in pain before he continued. “I…was gone for no more than…ten minutes until I received a phone call from you.”

“Clark, I'm so sorry…” He heard her breathing heavily. He sensed the fear in her voice. “I went to see Lex, and he was really drunk.”

“What happened?” His voice was filled with worry and fear. He feared the worse may have come to pass.

His voice was cracking, tears were waiting to just fall from his eyes. “You said that somehow…he knew…you knew my secret. He was after you.”

“Oh god…Oh god he’s coming after me.” Her breathing increased as she started to become scared.

“Lana?” There was no answer but a faint honking in the background. He needed her to say something…anything. Anything to know she was okay.

His eyes became wide with fear as if the scene was happening right in front of him. “The line went dead…I panicked so I ran to the place where you told me you were at… I saw…I s-saw…you t-there…”

The tears were streaming down his face just like that day. “The car flipped over…Blood.”

She didn’t notice her own tears until she felt a wetness drop on her hands. He turned to her with the tears streaming down his face. “On your face…your hands…the ground…It…was everywhere.”

Lana bit her lip to hold in a sob. It was too much. He couldn’t have been in this much pain. He was Clark Kent, strongest person she knew on the face of the Earth. But like she said, every hero had the right to fall.

He broke down completely…and he had nobody to lean on because he knew that nobody would understand him. He kept it inside until it ate him up.

But she understood. She understood his pain of losing someone you love. He’s been through with her and she’s been through it with him. She lost Clark at one time. When he got shot and flat lined after she had spoken to him in the hospital she felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest. It was the worst pain in the world when losing someone you love.

They both knew what if felt like to lose someone you love. But even though they were given a second chance, the dead body still lingered in their consciousness.

Being constantly reminded of that pain they felt at that very moment.

“…I-I begged my biological father to change it…that you didn’t deserve what came to you…it wasn’t your time. So he turned back time and I was back to where I started…the loft.” He pulled his knees up to his chest again and wrapped his arms around them. “So when you asked me what could be worst than losing the person you love…you had no idea how ironic that question was.” He let out a sob before burying his face in his arms again.

No, she wouldn’t let him go through this alone. She was going to be there for him, she was going to be his shoulder to lean on. She wouldn’t let him hide in his hole without accepting that fact.

She gently pried his arms away from his legs and spoke gently, “Clark…baby look at me.” She lifted his face up so that his eyes met hers. “I love you.”

He didn’t mean to say it – he shouldn’t have said it but he couldn’t lie again, it was too much. “I love you.”

“Listen to me…” They stared intently into each other’s eyes. “I’m not going to leave you. You’re not going to be alone. We’re going to get through this together…”

He jerked his hands away from her and moved away. “No! No, you need to stay away from me. You need to be safe. I can’t hurt you again. I won’t allow it. I’m going to hurt you again…I-I can’t do that…”

“If you don’t want to hurt me, then be with me.” More tears ran down her face as she grabbed his hand and held it in a tight grasp as he tried to pull away.

“Don’t you get it Clark? I’ll never be safe with anybody but you. Not Lex. Nobody. Because when I’m in your arms I’m safe as houses…You want to stop hurting me, be with me.”

“I…” Be with her. It was such a simple request yet so hard to do with the fear of hurting her again.

“Clark, I want you…to look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t love me.”

It was so hard for him to answer that and she knew it.

He painfully turned to her and looked her in the eye and instantly saw the fear in them. It was like she doubted he could do it and here he was looking at her eyes.

Suddenly, Lana was scared.

“I don’t love you.”

It hurt so bad just to lie about his feelings the first time around and he knew he couldn’t do it again. It was too much pain. He was in pain in a relationship with her because he knew he couldn’t tell the truth. But the truth was out and nothing was keeping him from being with her besides his insecurity of hurting her.

But wasn’t he doing just that? Hurting her by not being with her? He knew it hurt because he was feeling it too. The pain of being apart from someone you love. He couldn’t do that to her; he didn’t want her to feel the pain or the emptiness. He wanted her to feel happiness.

Lana watched him fight the battles inside himself and knew one thing was still bothering him. She gave a gentle squeeze to his hand to get his attention.

“You told me that you wanted me to be happy. I’m happiest with you.”

I’m happiest with you. The words echoed through his mind. How could he make her happy?

Lana saw that he was still troubled so she did the last thing that could be done.

She kissed him.

Her lips were heaven to him. It felt…so good…so….right. His legs slid down to the ground as his resolve started to fall. With her free hand she grabbed his other hand and pulled both of his hands and placed them on her hips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss.

He felt her love in their kiss. He felt the emptiness slowly start to fade. The darkness was lightening up. He found the light through the dark nightmare.
Clark pulled away and rested his forehead on hers. When he opened his eyes he saw that hers were still closed.

She licked her lips and savored the feeling of his lips on hers. It felt so good to feel them again; so soft and smooth. They were so kissable unlike Lex’s. They paled in comparison.

He grasped her hips lightly and lifted her up and placed her on his lap; making her straddle him. She gasped lightly at the sudden movement but as he layed his head on her shoulder she wrapped her arms around his neck even more. He hugged her like a lifeline.

They held on to each other like a lifeline.

He found the light. He found his hope. He found his angel and he held on to her and vowed to never let her go again.

He would never be alone again. She was going to make sure of it. Through thick and thin, they will be together.

This time, forever. And no matter what fate throws at them, they will go through it together. And no matter how bad things look for them, they will still have hope.

Because through hell, they will be together.

THE END

[*#~ ClAnAfAn99210~#*]

oh my god i cant stop crying its to much i have a jar of tears from stories that i have read its its almost full

[clana1fan4ever]

omg that was an awsome story i feel like crying right now!!!
Great work!!

[Jersey Girl]

ahhhh!!!....omg.....i was in my room balling!....i couldn't stop crying..!!!

the last chapter hit me so hard

[clark&lanafan06]

That was awsome story , I really liked the ending . You did a great job !

[happycamper]

A truly great story, clana4ev3r , and exactly the ending I wanted to see!!:) :)

I'm so glad that Clark never lost his love for Lana in your world, and that Lana never turned on him in pain and disgust. This is the way five seasons of Smallville should have turned out!

And instead of instantly regaining their love, they had to work their way through their own personal demons until each recognized that they were happiest with the other; that happiness was only possible with the one they truly loved.

And Clark is so lucky that he had found love with someone who could love him back, and who had the intelligence and internal fortitude to be able to bring him back from where he had lost himself.

Strength and strength. Even if the strength is manifested in different ways, they need and deserve each other.

Thanks for the story.


:D hc :D

[justsuper]

Excellent job! By the way, I think this is the first fic where Lana learning Clark's secret has been explained in a poetic - but realistic way. It's great that Clark keyed in to Lana's conclusions about the meteor storm, that something landed and that whomever was brought to earth was living among them all this time - and that he was that person. Excellent thinking and writing. And then Lana understanding that he had the same abilities as the aliens but that he was different than they were - because of his humanity. Very eloquent! So much better than having Clark say "I'm an alien from the planet Krypton and I can run really really fast and lift things and shoot heat beams from my eyes." Truly well done!

[*#~ ClAnAfAn99210~#*]

omg im crying again!!!

[hearmewhisper]

Man, this is brilliant writing you have here. This was really well done.

Excellent :)

[that girl]

I really liked this story. I'm glad Lana was able to get Clark to open up when no one else could, it was sweet. And, of course, I liked that she convinced him to love her again at the end.

Very nice work.

:D

[LovinMe210]

Ahhhh i'm crying oh my gosh what a great story!

[kewl]

great story! finally they both find the light which will brightly shine forever!

[clana_never_give_up]

Man, what a great ending to a great story.

It almost made me cry. :)

[#7superherofan]

I was just randomly looking for a new story to read and found this one. Oh my God! Wow! Tearjerking, heartbreaking, but with a happy ending. Thanks Clana4ev3r, for a great story.