Things lionel probably didnt write down at the end...

[neilmajithia]

A bit like the "lines you will not hear on smallville" thread, what do u think he probably didnt write down at the end of the episode. Ive seen some people write them in other threads so thaught id make a dedicated one. The funnier the better!

Heres one of my suggestions one:

"Shopping list:
Milk, Eggs, Cheese, Bread etc......"

[angelfire east]

"Martha looked so hot all wet"

"Note to self: first thing I do when I'm Clark new daddy is buy him better clothes"

"MUST CUT HAIR!"

[MuchaLana]

Yo Mamma jokes for Clark

[Tequila]

"Clark made me **** my pants"

[Spoon AZ]

Lionel makes a list because he always thinks of a good response after it's too late....

"TOP 5 COMEBACKS NEXT TIME CLARK PUNKS ME DOWN"

5. "So you can bend steel and break hearts...sniffle..."
4. "Yeah...well...I'm rich b*tch"
3. "You're not the boss of me. I'll say what I want. Son, son, son....sonny son son...Sonny McSonerson, son-a-lam-a-ding-dong...."
2. "What was that? Sorry I zoned out. I was fantasizing about your mom."
1. "No, you'll wish yoooou'd never been saved! Ooo burn!"

[Metropolis Hero]

"Dear Martha,

I like you. Do you like me? Any chance we can go get a ice cream cone later? Please circle Yes or No at the bottom of this page and send this note back as soon as possible" :)

[crzyeyez1345]

To Clark,
Who's ya daddy!

[sv addict22]

Originally posted by Spoon AZ
Lionel makes a list because he always thinks of a good response after it's too late....

"TOP 5 COMEBACKS NEXT TIME CLARK PUNKS ME DOWN"

5. "So you can bend steal and break hearts...sniffle..."
4. "Yeah...well...I'm rich b*tch"
3. "You're not the boss of me. I'll say what I want. Son, son, son....sonny son son...Sonny McSonerson, son-a-lam-a-ding-dong...."
2. "What was that? Sorry I zoned out. I was fantasizing about your mom."
1. "No, you'll wish yoooou'd never been saved! Ooo burn!"

thats stinkin hilarious!i definitily like #2

[Pal-El]

Originally posted by Spoon AZ

3. "You're not the boss of me. I'll say what I want. Son, son, son....sonny son son...Sonny McSonerson, son-a-lam-a-ding-dong...."


Genius.:cool:

[clarksmuse]

"Note to self: Locking up Martha until she gives in is NOT the way to win her."

[The Tommy]

What lionel wrote at the end of this episode really was the whole script for Ageless.

[SnarkMasterJ]

"Hey Foil Face! Your mask was stupid and you hold hostages like a GIRRRLLL!!...Love, Lionel.

P.S. -- That floor wasn't that hot. I coulda done a whole GD Viannese waltz on that thing."


Spoon AZ - BWAAAHH! Richness on a stick, man. My favorites are #1 and #2.

[Deia]

"Clark! I am your father!"
"Lex, two words: Kryptonite Condoms"
"Martha and Lionel sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G"
"Note to self: Buy more hair product. Flaunt it in front of Lex."
"Clark, I left the keys to the limo at the fortress. Can you pick them up for me next time you head north?"
"I lubb0rz Martha Kent"

[Superboy2]

"Go to Fortress of Solitude, get my powers back and kick Clark around because he still won't believe me."
"Tell Lex I love him..............Nah"
Martha, I saved your life, now let's go ****
"It's banana time in the monkey cage when I see you Martha Kent."

[Batman_Beyonder]

1.Note to self, don't tick off Clark Kent...
2. Dear Diary,
My day started off a bet vague, though I mananged to groop Martha a little bit, I take it Clark did not like it?

[charmedchick]

1. Martha looks good in red.
2. take white shirt to the dry cleaner

[clarkkent100]

"Oh my god, another headache again!? I cant stand that anymore. I'm leaving the show."

[Crazy4Smallville]

Originally posted by Spoon AZ
Lionel makes a list because he always thinks of a good response after it's too late....

"TOP 5 COMEBACKS NEXT TIME CLARK PUNKS ME DOWN"

5. "So you can bend steel and break hearts...sniffle..."
4. "Yeah...well...I'm rich b*tch"
3. "You're not the boss of me. I'll say what I want. Son, son, son....sonny son son...Sonny McSonerson, son-a-lam-a-ding-dong...."
2. "What was that? Sorry I zoned out. I was fantasizing about your mom."
1. "No, you'll wish yoooou'd never been saved! Ooo burn!"

Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,!!!!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :lol: :eek: :rotfl: :\

[last man of krypton]

Back in an hour, going to Fortress of Solitude so I can get Jor-El's powers back and kick Clark's ass so I can go after Martha again.

[Welling_is_pretty]

Originally posted by Metropolis Hero
"Dear Martha,

I like you. Do you like me? Any chance we can go get a ice cream cone later? Please circle Yes or No at the bottom of this page and send this note back as soon as possible" :)
OMG!!! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:


"Note to self: forget Clark as a son; he looked so hot threatening me I want him for my boyfriend! No wait, I like Martha. Oh snap, why not both?"

[watcher4]

I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business again
I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business again
I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business again
I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business again
I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business again
I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business again
I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business again
I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business again
I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business again
I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business again
I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business again
I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business again
I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business agai
I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business again
I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business again
I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business again
I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business again
I will not cheat in business again I will not cheat in business again

....I'd rather go back to my contemplative repose that finish writing this one hundred times!

[farmboy20]

Mrs. Martha Luthor.... Mrs. Lionel Luthor... Mrs. Martha Clark-Luthor.... Mrs.....

Child Names: Luke Luthor. Larry Luthor. Lenny Luthor. Lucky Luthor....

Memo to self: When I marry Martha, I will adopt Clark and change his name to Luke because Clark Luthor just doesn't work.

Memo to self: Talk to lawyers about who I can sue for the obvious "Saw" rip-off.

To do list:
1. Take over Luthorcorp.
2. Create some twisted game with Lex.
3. Get hair washed.
4. Teach Clark to fly.

[beefywellingtom]

Originally posted by farmboy20
Mrs. Martha Luthor.... Mrs. Lionel Luthor... Mrs. Martha Clark-Luthor.... Mrs.....

Child Names: Luke Luthor. Larry Luthor. Lenny Luthor. Lucky Luthor....

Memo to self: When I marry Martha, I will adopt Clark and change his name to Luke because Clark Luthor just doesn't work.

To do list:
3. Get hair washed.


Hil-freakin-larious!!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[kismet]

Originally posted by Metropolis Hero
"Dear Martha,

I like you. Do you like me? Any chance we can go get a ice cream cone later? Please circle Yes or No at the bottom of this page and send this note back as soon as possible" :)

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[Turb0]

Originally posted by Spoon AZ
Lionel makes a list because he always thinks of a good response after it's too late....

[b]"TOP 5 COMEBACKS NEXT TIME CLARK PUNKS ME DOWN"

4. "Yeah...well...I'm rich b*tch"
/B]



HAHAHAHA thats fu*king GOLD! ... brilliant stuff there man.. they could use some of your comedy in smallville

[Timester]

He wrote a full book called "How to be a rich MB in 101 steps!"

[Rozq]

he wrote:
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful Clark

[Red K 5]

Note too self: Cut Clark's hair when he's sleeping

[ClLaLeChFAN01]

(vision Lionel going valley girl)

Dear Martha,
Hey how are you like doing? I am doing like tons better. That was like some totally crazy **** we like went through uh? Perhaps we could like try it again sometime. But instead of the crazy game and that crazy guy that was like totally trying to kill us, we could uh.....subsitute it with a dinner. Like totally give me a ring on my cell when you have free time. It is totally ok if you are like really busy. Because you are like a senator now. No biggy. Alright so I better get back to you know like work, totally. Hope to see you like really soon.

Like Lots of Love,
Lionel

[tjpw fanatic]

Note to self: make Clark angry as much as you can! He looks so sexy like that

[Red K 5]

Kryptonite is green
I eat with a fork
Clark Kent is a great big DORK!

[LionelLuthor]

*Jor- El in Lionel's Head: "Ooh Johnny Glover !!I'm a big fan! Can I have your autograph? Make it out to Joe!!!*

JG then writes:
'To Joe, keep on....well, whatever it is you do. Lots of love, John Glover <3 xxxx P.S Get out of my head you nutter!!!'

[Red K 5]

cockroaches are black
and so is rot
Clark sure does wine a lot!

[Soline Yayire]

Originally posted by Spoon AZ
Lionel makes a list because he always thinks of a good response after it's too late....

"TOP 5 COMEBACKS NEXT TIME CLARK PUNKS ME DOWN"

5. "So you can bend steel and break hearts...sniffle..."
4. "Yeah...well...I'm rich b*tch"
3. "You're not the boss of me. I'll say what I want. Son, son, son....sonny son son...Sonny McSonerson, son-a-lam-a-ding-dong...."
2. "What was that? Sorry I zoned out. I was fantasizing about your mom."
1. "No, you'll wish yoooou'd never been saved! Ooo burn!"

:lol: :rotfl: :lol: :rotfl: :lol: :rotfl:

[Red K 5]

Note to self: tell Lex I love him

[godsmack23]

You quiero Taco Bell...

[muffinpeddler]

Originally posted by clarksmuse
"Note to self: Locking up Martha until she gives in is NOT the way to win her." :lol: :lol: awesome!

Lionel wrote: "Mrs. Martha Luthor", which is written over semi erased "Mr. lionel kent" and a half dozen "Martha"s, surrounded by little pink hearts.

[aoa4life]

Dear Penthouse.........

[SadaBeem]

"Martha,
I know you want me.

P.S. I saw up your dress today. *thumbs up*"

[xrayvision]

I will acquire Lana like I did Lexcorp. Viva Liona!!

[AverageJoe]

Originally posted by SadaBeem
"Martha,
I know you want me.

P.S. I saw up your dress today. *thumbs up*"

:rotfl: Fan-freaking-tastic :D

Note to self: Get jiggy with Martha...perhaps Clark if there's time.

[xrayvision]

Martha......dunk-tank.......jello.....hot-tub........pillows......waterbed

[watcher4]

You guys are getting a little off color!

[xrayvision]

Martha, I'll bring the wine and you bring 3 of your closest friends and Twister.

[ZoZo]

He was blatently writing invitations for his birthday party... "hey this is lionel and im going to be 109 on monday!, you are invited to my fantastic birthday party, it starts at 8. please call my office if you can't make it asap :)"

[MamaK]

Originally posted by godsmack23
You quiero Taco Bell...

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

BRILLIANT!!!


Originally posted by Spoon AZ
Lionel makes a list because he always thinks of a good response after it's too late....

"TOP 5 COMEBACKS NEXT TIME CLARK PUNKS ME DOWN"

5. "So you can bend steel and break hearts...sniffle..."
4. "Yeah...well...I'm rich b*tch"
3. "You're not the boss of me. I'll say what I want. Son, son, son....sonny son son...Sonny McSonerson, son-a-lam-a-ding-dong...."
2. "What was that? Sorry I zoned out. I was fantasizing about your mom."
1. "No, you'll wish yoooou'd never been saved! Ooo burn!"

MORE :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

"son-a-lam-a-ding-dong"!!!LMAO


Originally posted by Metropolis Hero
"Dear Martha,

I like you. Do you like me? Any chance we can go get a ice cream cone later? Please circle Yes or No at the bottom of this page and send this note back as soon as possible" :)

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

I love this thread! These are all AMAZINGLY funny!!

And now, here's my own feeble attempt!

Must...make....pee-pee. (Sorry, this is probably only funny in my house but I'm gonna get a big laugh from my kids when I show them this!!)

[Kel-El]

To whom it may concern:

Things are getting too complicated: A real life version of "Saw," strange visitors from other planets who are too protective of their mothers. I can't take it anymore. By the time you read this, I will have jumped out of this window, plunging to my death. I leave my entire fortune to Martha Kent.

P.S. To Clark: Jor-el says, "Hi!"

[tjpw fanatic]

Dear Diary:

I love Martha. *bats eyelashes* Hm maybe i should ask her to be my wife? Martha Luthor! Wow that has a nice ring to it, but that will break the little LL thing we have going in our family. And clark will most likely kill me but its worth a shot! Well I'm going to go I'll write later diary.

Love,
The MB

P.S. I'm sick of this stupid Jor-El guy being inside of me!

[crzyeyez1345]

Note to self:
Send Martha diamond earrings and a thank you note for last night

[Happy Random]

Originally posted by Kel-El
To whom it may concern:

Things are getting too complicated: A real life version of "Saw," strange visitors from other planets who are too protective of their mothers. I can't take it anymore. By the time you read this, I will have jumped out of this window, plunging to my death. I leave my entire fortune to Martha Kent.

P.S. To Clark: Jor-el says, "Hi!"

:rotfl: :rotfl: :lol: :lol: I love it!!!

"I leave my cat to Martha, my millions of dollars to Martha, my spinning chair to Martha, my hot pink limo to Martha, my summer home in Hawaii to Martha, and I leave my account on I'm-a-happy-person.org to Martha (username: money_makes_me_happy password: martha). *thinking* Hmm, I guess I should leave something to Clark... And I leave my large vault of shiney green rocks to Clark. I think that about covers it....."

:D

[tjpw fanatic]

:lol::lol:

[myankskent]

To Clark,
If I should die, you get nothing but I expect you to transport me to the fortress immediately so JorEl can bring me back to life.
Lionel
PS. If you cut my hair while I'm dead I'll get my team of specialists to fry your brain when I get brought back to life.

[Happy Random]

^^lol! :lol:

[xrayvision]

To Martha:

Please meet me for dinner tonight. I'm going on Oprah to make an ass out of myself for you and convince Clark that I am worthy of you.

PS: Tell Lex, Clark, and Lucas that I'm bringing them 2 chicken wings back for them to fight over.

To Ms. Lang,

Here are 20 pairs of diamond earrings that should last you for your entire short life. Your Lexy-poo says hi.

Lex,

Sorry for not getting the brakes on the Porsche fixed that day.

You're loving father,

LL

[tjpw fanatic]

:rotfl: good one xrayvision!

[Welling_is_pretty]

"Dear Martha,
Your son was mean to me today, after i was really, really nice to him. He made me want to cry. Please tell him we are bestest friends and not to be mean to me!
Love,
Lionel"

[xrayvision]

Lex,

I switched Henry Small's DNA sample with mine...you know, with the cost of child support these days...plus I never was interested in watching equestrian shows or anything pink. Aren't you glad you never went for it now Lex?

-LL


Shelby,

Here is a bunch of money for your doghouse. This means you get to be indoors now. I'll send some more later so I can buy Jonathan's side of the bed.

PS: There are plenty of treats for you in the backyard of the Luthor mansion should you get hungry.

Woof woof, and lots of love,

LL

[muffinpeddler]

Originally posted by xrayvision
To Martha:

Please meet me for dinner tonight. I'm going on Oprah to make an ass out of myself for you and convince Clark that I am worthy of you.



Genius! Pure Genius! :lol: :rotfl: :lol: :rotfl:

[xrayvision]

Lex,

It's about time you knew the truth about your grandparents. They weren't killed by me or Morgan Edge in a tenement fire. They were killed in a slum robbery of another city. The truth is... I'm Batman!!

[Happy Random]

^^ :rotfl: :rotfl: That's awesome!! :D

[xrayvision]

Thanks. Congrats on the recent Forum Whiz status.

[Happy Random]

Thank you! :D

"Dear world, Clark Kent is really faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! He is a strange visitor from another
planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities
far beyond those of mortal men. He can
change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel in
his bare hands; and who fights a never ending battle for truth,
justice, and the American way." *passes out* :D

[LuckyKrypto]

Aluminum foil mask $1.29

Crummy Elevator with no brakes $560

Seeing the look on Clark's face when he saves his mother and me.......Pricless

:)

[SirJono]

Originally posted by xrayvision
Lex,

I switched Henry Small's DNA sample with mine...you know, with the cost of child support these days...plus I never was interested in watching equestrian shows or anything pink. Aren't you glad you never went for it now Lex?

-LL


:rotfl: good one there!

Dear other Milton Fines:
Please send another Lionel clone. I have made considerable progress with the Senator, but have managed to tick off Clark Kent, and now he knows that we know everything, and this is endangering our entire operation. I must be terminated according to Section 44.7 Article 198.7 of the KryptonAI constitution.

[Batman_Beyonder]

AHHH THESE DAMN LAXATIVES ARE AT IT AGAIN!!!!


~Sincerly,
Lionel

[tjpw fanatic]

:lol: these are awesome!:lol:

[Daphne]

[i]3. "You're not the boss of me. I'll say what I want. Son, son, son....sonny son son...Sonny McSonerson, son-a-lam-a-ding-dong...."[/B]

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[Soline Yayire]

Dear everyone
I leave my entire fortune to Mr. Bunnybuns.
Lex can have all my hair styling products.
Haha! Get it? Oh, the Irony...

[nightshadz]

|------
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------------------



_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


Then shouts,

"Clark, come back! Lets play a game! Like father and son?"

[Happy Random]

Originally posted by LuckyKrypto
Aluminum foil mask $1.29

Crummy Elevator with no brakes $560

Seeing the look on Clark's face when he saves his mother and me.......Pricless

:)

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: That's great!!! I love it! :lol:


Dear Santa,

I was wondering if for Christmas, you could get me more money? And a date with Martha Kent. Also, if you could send Clark Kent some of those shiney green rocks that are found in this area, I know that both him and me would love it. Thank you!!

~Lionel Luthor

[Red K 5]

Dear Clark,

I don't love Martha. I love you

~Lionel Luthor

[tjpw fanatic]

Dear Clark,

You are so beautiful. I only pretend that I love your mother so I can be closer to you! Lex likes you too, but I told him you were mine. That is really why we are in a huge fight, not because I despise him. You are so wonderful.
Love,
Lionel

P.S. Don't tell your mother or Lex, but meet me at the mansion at 8:00 for a special dinner;)

[Crazy4Smallville]

Son, (Not you Lex)

I'm proud of you. You did the right thing.

Have you figured out my secret, yet?

LionEl

[watcher4]

Originally posted by LuckyKrypto
Aluminum foil mask $1.29

Crummy Elevator with no brakes $560

Seeing the look on Clark's face when he saves his mother and me.......Pricless

:)

I love it!!:lol:

********************

If A equals B and B equals C, then..............A equals C!!!

[Red K 5]

Dear Clark,

I hate you stinking guts
You make me vomit
You’re scum between my toes

~Lionel Luthor

[Happy Random]

Lionel: Must.... write.... million dollar check........ to Martha............. :D

A few days later, Martha opens her mailbox and opens a letter from Lionel Luthor.

Martha: Oh my..... *has a heart attack at the sight of so many zeros*

Lionel (watching from behind a cow): Well crap, that didn't exactly go as planned. :\ All I was hoping to do was flatter her. I guess I should have started smaller.... Maybe in the hundred millions rather than billions.

:D

[xrayvision]

To the coroner who will be handling Clark Kent's body after I'm done with him,

I have a hot date with Martha Kent & want to rock her world, so send IT to me, and by IT I mean the above average body part I x-rayed while the 2 of us switched bodies, wink wink. I want to update mine with a sleek Kryptonian model that'll drive them wild.

-LL

[Welling_is_pretty]

Originally posted by tjpw fanatic
Dear Clark,

You are so beautiful. I only pretend that I love your mother so I can be closer to you! Lex likes you too, but I told him you were mine. That is really why we are in a huge fight, not because I despise him. You are so wonderful.
Love,
Lionel

P.S. Don't tell your mother or Lex, but meet me at the mansion at 8:00 for a special dinner;)
:rotfl:
great minds think alike (I did something similar in one of my posts a bit back).

[tjpw fanatic]

:lol::lol:

[Daddylion]

Originally posted by tjpw fanatic
Dear Clark,

You are so beautiful. I only pretend that I love your mother so I can be closer to you! Lex likes you too, but I told him you were mine. That is really why we are in a huge fight, not because I despise him. You are so wonderful.
Love,
Lionel

P.S. Don't tell your mother or Lex, but meet me at the mansion at 8:00 for a special dinner;)

Ok, this one totally reminds me of a clionel fic i really love. :D

=========================

Note to self: Wear more sleeveless. I look sexy in them.

Dear diary, I've gotten to hug Martha again today and I've found that being that close to her was more... exciting when i was in her son's body.

Dear Diary, even though Martha and I have gotten closer since the departure of my dear jonathan, I still miss him so much, it's just not the same with only two people, i still miss his touch and I'm sure martha does too. I wish I'd never taken those pictures of the 3 of us together and tried to blackmail him with it, I was only wanting to play a little kinky game with him, who knew thathe wuld take it n a completely different way and have a heart attack...

[Welling_is_pretty]

Originally posted by Daddylion

Note to self: Wear more sleeveless. I look sexy in them.

Dear diary, I've gotten to hug Martha again today and I've found that being that close to her was more... exciting when i was in her son's body.

Dear Diary, even though Martha and I have gotten closer since the departure of my dear jonathan, I still miss him so much, it's just not the same with only two people, i still miss his touch and I'm sure martha does too. I wish I'd never taken those pictures of the 3 of us together and tried to blackmail him with it, I was only wanting to play a little kinky game with him, who knew thathe wuld take it n a completely different way and have a heart attack...

:lol: :lol: Lee!

[Daddylion]

:D I'll take that as a compliment

[Welling_is_pretty]

Originally posted by Daddylion
:D I'll take that as a compliment
I hope so, it was meant as one.
And I was surprised you didn't post something Clionel sooner, actually. I know how you like that pairing.

[Daddylion]

yeah but i saw the episode a week after everyone here did so i didn't check this board out till later and by that time someone already posted something clionel so i went with lionathan instead.

[psycosis]

| []<> [] | <> ii | []<> _. /8\ III.ii | | []<> [] <> []

~The truth is out there~


something that looked a bit like this no doubt.
(didn't work out too great but you get the idea)

[Red K 5]

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY and Z now I know my ABC's maybe Kal-El will play with me

[Daddylion]

:lol: I love that hehehhehe

[Welling_is_pretty]

Originally posted by Red K 5
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY and Z now I know my ABC's maybe Kal-El will play with me
:rotfl:
now I've got the alphabet song in my head!