Make up a type of Kryptonite!

[A.G]

I just heard that there might be a new type of kryptonite. It will be known as grey kryptonite. It's effects will be very unique, and will be discovered by Clark somewhere in season 8.

When exposed to grey kryptonite, Clark will look something like this;

http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q138/amardip3000/kryptonite-740732.png

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:: rotfl:

[Jephael]

OMG, that is priceless!!!

[Jade4813]

Not sure if anyone's come up with this one yet...

Chartreuse Kryptonite - once touched by Clark, has an eternal effect. Gives him a debilitating stab of pain when he utters certain overused phrases. Like, "It's all my fault..."

[Hopefulsuicide]

Mauve kryptonite. It only affects roosters, and it makes them bark instead of crowing.

Floral-print kryptonite. It looks just darling with the curtains, don't you think?

New Kryptonite. Tastes awful, and after a marketing disaster, this kind of kryptonite is discontinued, and the Kryptonite Korporation brings back the original, calling it Kryptonite Klassic.

Kryptonite Lite. Half the kalories of regular.

:rotfl:

pastel kryptonite - makes clark grow ten times bigger (in all areas)

[Randy G.]

[Mod Note:] Please remember to keep all games in the KryptonSite Culture section.
I'll go ahead & move this one there now. ;)

[xrayvision]

ThisAintYo-nite: This type of kryptonite is bad luck to all straight males of every species.

[pizzahead2490]

orange k: makes every kripotnian crave turkey!!!!

[SuperKyptonGirl13]

orange k: makes every kripotnian crave turkey!!!!

what about gobble-onite

[pizzahead2490]

^^^ good one. lol

[xrayvision]

ClarkIDon'tB-ite: This type of kryptonite removes Clark's reservations of hooking up with random girls.

[Glove]

Plaid Kryptonite: It makes whoever comes into contact with it
wear plaid. Unbeknownst to Clark...Zod slipped some into his
spaceship at birth and Clarks been wearing plaid ever since.

[xrayvision]

HoldOnT-ite: This is the kryptonite that makes Clark fly & take "passengers" with him

[xrayvision]

Anti-pink kryptonite: Erases memories of Lana from the minds of anyone exposed to it (also known as America'sMostWanted-onite)

----- Added 2 Minutes later -----

Don'tLetTheBedBugsB-ite: This type of kryptonite is used by Kryptonians living in barns & other places crawling with insects.

YeahR-ite: This type of kryptonite is needed to make 99.9% of Lana scenes believable by someone with half a braincell.

----- Added 43 Minutes later -----

Ostroff-onite: This is the kryptonite that shrinks budgets & bankrupts companies like Luthorcorp while transferring said money to slutty/trashy causes.

[Krypto~Luan]

Small-ite...makes kryptonians small


Avis-ite... gives mortas ability to fly for short period of time

Ingnus-ite.. allows kryptonians to breathe fire.

[green_arrow_girl358]

easywayout-ite, when in contact with it, writers make huge inconsistentsy mistakes. guess this is what they made the employee paper weights out of this season

[xrayvision]

Frightn-ite: Turns Kryptonians into vampires.

[super_j_man]

easywayout-ite, when in contact with it, writers make huge inconsistentsy mistakes. guess this is what they made the employee paper weights out of this season

:rotfl:

[xrayvision]

Dy-nom-ite: Makes Kryptonians talk like Jimmie JJ Walker from Good Times.

[Welling_is_pretty]

Dy-nom-ite: Makes Kryptonians talk like Jimmie JJ Walker from Good Times.

Heh. And suddenly I'm flashing back to Season 1 of Scrubs (where Jimmie Walker always seemed to pop up in JD's fantasies)...

[targis]

monk-ite

Makes Kryptonians have all kinds of phobias

[xrayvision]

F-ite!: Helps Kryptonians get an edge at the arcades when playing fighting video games like Mort-El Combat

[rebecavaldez]

Purple K
Makes Clark read minds

[Jephael]

Purple K
Makes Clark read minds

Now that's a good one!

[targis]

Blue-k Makes a Kryptonian freeze

[xrayvision]

OutOfS-ite: Makes Kryptonians go blind when placed near them.

[ywm]

LOL bring it on !!!!!

[xrayvision]

PerryWh-ite: A type of kryptonite that turns Kryptonians & humans into drunks who like calling people Kansassians and take nosedives into gorges while expecting others to dive in after them.

HannahM-ontonite: Turns Clark into a singing version of Superman whose hair turns blond and who saves people through "the power of song".

HaveSomeSpr-ite: A type of kryptonite brought to Smallville by Pete in a product placement attempt. Clark starts to use it to prevent various people from drinking alcohol, like Lois, Perry, Chloe, and others so that while he has his "Coke straight up on the rocks", they have Sprite.

Wr-ite: Improves the writing of Smallville. This type of kryptonite has been completely used up.

[HeroesUnlimited]

PerryWh-ite: A type of kryptonite that turns Kryptonians & humans into drunks who like calling people Kansassians and take nosedives into gorges while expecting others to dive in after them.

HannahM-ontonite: Turns Clark into a singing version of Superman whose hair turns blond and who saves people through "the power of song".

HaveSomeSpr-ite: A type of kryptonite brought to Smallville by Pete in a product placement attempt. Clark starts to use it to prevent various people from drinking alcohol, like Lois, Perry, Chloe, and others so that while he has his "Coke straight up on the rocks", they have Sprite.

Wr-ite: Improves the writing of Smallville. This type of kryptonite has been completely used up.

:lol:

[xrayvision]

El-ite: This type of kryptonite makes Clark act like a snob & talk down to everyone around him. He praises his own heritage & makes fun of humans while being affected and has to be reminded that his very own race destroyed itself.

HenryJames-onite: This kills its holder and magically creates a sibling of the same gender to take the place of its holder.

Ostroff-onite: Magically makes the money of everyone around it disappear while trashy sluts magically acquire more money.

[HeroesUnlimited]

El-ite: This type of kryptonite makes Clark act like a snob & talk down to everyone around him. He praises his own heritage & makes fun of humans while being affected and has to be reminded that his very own race destroyed itself.

HenryJames-onite: This kills its holder and magically creates a sibling of the same gender to take the place of its holder.

Ostroff-onite: Magically makes the money of everyone around it disappear while trashy sluts magically acquire more money.

:rotfl:

[xrayvision]

IKnowYouAreButWhatAm-ite: This type of kryptonite gives Clark the most annoying comeback line ever & the power to make movies like Clark-ee's Big Adventure and Big Top Clark-ee. It also replaces the red jacket with a white shirt with gray sports coat and a red bow-tie. It also causes Clark to make his own kids show called Clark-ee's Lofthouse. Unfortunately, it also causes him to expose himself later on at adult theaters.

Entertainment-onite: The type of kryptonite has no effect on humans or Kryptonians but instead transforms TV signals across the country to report on Smallville's wardrobe malfunctions and the Talon Awards. It also reports on who among Lois, Chloe, Lex, Clark, and Lana wears and doesn't wear underwear.

WonderfulTo-nite: This type of kryptonite plays Eric Clapton songs instead of eerie music when Lex & Lana have sex. Unfortunately they are caught in the act In Lex's Father's Eyes and are subject to hours of electroshock therapy.

Unfortunately, the possibility of introducing WonderfulTo-nite also disappears thanks to Ostroff-onite.

----- Added 3 Minutes later -----


Mauve kryptonite. It only affects roosters, and it makes them bark instead of crowing.

Floral-print kryptonite. It looks just darling with the curtains, don't you think?

New Kryptonite. Tastes awful, and after a marketing disaster, this kind of kryptonite is discontinued, and the Kryptonite Korporation brings back the original, calling it Kryptonite Klassic.

Kryptonite Lite. Half the kalories of regular.

I can only imagine new Kaffeine Free Kryptonite Zero for your average Kalorie Kounting Kryptonian.

----- Added 6 Minutes later -----


for which Wimpy Kryptonite will gladly pay you Tuesday.

Spinach kryptonite: makes the effects of Popeye kryptonite stronger.

K-Mart's store brand imitation kryptonite: according to the package, supervillains can't tell the difference between how it and "the national brand" will weaken Superman, but we all know it's not the same. The only reason to buy it is you save 50 cents.

Kryzzle-to-the-ite: simply another name for regular kryptonite. Just a lame attempt to boost kryptonite's "street cred" among the young urban set.

Or will Wimpy Kryptonite pay you Dark Thursday?

I'm still waiting for a Green light special to buy the K-Mart brand Kryptonite.

----- Added 16 Minutes later -----

Shakespear-onite: This type of kryptonite makes Smallville characters except Clark talk like 1500's Elizabethan characters. Clark gets pissed why nobody talks normal anymore and burns down Smallville with his heatvision.

----- Added 19 Minutes later -----

Rupaul Kryptonite: The kryptonite that wasn't happy with the way it was born and had to "change" itself

[SmilerTyler]

Krypto-bite: Arguably the worst type of Kryptonite... Forces its victims to watch Thirst over and over again.

Fl-ite: Arguably the best type of Kryptonite... Allows Clark to finally break the laws of gravity and fly.

Twil-ite: Whoever uses Twil-ite will be instantly pummeled by hoards of teenage girls.

Dw-ite Schrute: Makes you lose any respect you have gained from your peers.

[Canary]

Night-ite : Make's every Kryptonian sleep for longer periods of time.

Gold Kryptonite: Anyone who comes in contact with it will turn essessivly smart..

[xrayvision]

Sh-*te: This type of kryptonite only works on Luthors. It gives them their Scottish accent back and they use 1 particular word to cuss out their enemies.

----- Added 2 Minutes later -----


I just heard that there might be a new type of kryptonite. It will be known as grey kryptonite. It's effects will be very unique, and will be discovered by Clark somewhere in season 8.

When exposed to grey kryptonite, Clark will look something like this;

http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q138/amardip3000/kryptonite-740732.png

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:: rotfl:

Also known as WhereTheHellIsPeteToDoSomeJustForMenProductPlaceme nt Kryptonite, CallDrKevorkianToKillMe Kryptonite, Zeus Kryptonite or Whippersnapper Kryptonite. :D

[HeroesUnlimited]

I just heard that there might be a new type of kryptonite. It will be known as grey kryptonite. It's effects will be very unique, and will be discovered by Clark somewhere in season 8.

When exposed to grey kryptonite, Clark will look something like this;

http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q138/amardip3000/kryptonite-740732.png



:rotfl:

[wickedwango]

retcon-ite: The power to.....well u know

[xrayvision]

Swine Flu Kryptonite: Makes Clark squeal like a pig when he goes to the backwoods & complains about his Lana problems.

[ClubXerxes]

Low carbon-ite:

1) Reduces Clark's heat vision to 1/10 of its power, reducing his carbon footprint
or
2) developed by the evil Dr. Atkins, it causes Clark to lose weight, though his cravings for bacon and pork rinds increase exponentially

[HeroesUnlimited]

Video Break-up - ite:

Anyone holding video break-up - ite will see a vision of their current significant other on a television screen, sobbing and breaking up with them.

Stay Away From My Family - ite:

Anyone holding Stay Away From My Family - ite will see an image of Jonathan Kent lecturing them for some bad decision they made recently.

[SuperFat]

A-ite / Aight : Makes Kryptonians agree to everything they hear.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Don't give up without a f - ite" - Gives passive Kryptonians the courage to fight to the death.

----- Added 6 Minutes later -----

"By the Dawn's Early L - ite" - overcomes Kryptonians with an extreme sense of patriotism.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Term - ite" - instantly turns Kryptonians into wood-eating insects.

"Ign - ite" - causes Kryptonians to spontaneously burst into flames.

[HeroesUnlimited]

Sleep T - ite - causes instant drowsiness in Kryptonians.

Too T - ite - instantly causes Kryptonians to become obese so their clothes will no longer fit.

[xrayvision]

Virgin kryptonite: Makes Kryptonians unable to lose their virginity. Summons parents in their bedroom just before they're about to do it with some hot chick. Makes them unable to perform. Makes their girlfriends not in the mood. Makes their girlfriends start talking about something new called secrets & lies. Summons their girlfriend's father with trusty krypto-bullet filled shotgun. Makes their black books fall on their girlfriends' heads just as they're starting to make out. The moral of the story is, you touch this & you ain't ever losin' it.

Popeye kryptonite: Grows in the presence of spinach after getting pulverized by a fat, bearded rock.

Gilligan's kryptonite: The type of kryptonite you take on a 3 hour tour.

----- Added 6 Minutes later -----


Sleep T - ite - causes instant drowsiness in Kryptonians.

Hehe, SleepT-ite goes together with Don'tLetTheBedBugsB-ite:


Anti-pink kryptonite: Erases memories of Lana from the minds of anyone exposed to it (also known as America'sMostWanted-onite)

----- Added 2 Minutes later -----

Don'tLetTheBedBugsB-ite: This type of kryptonite is used by Kryptonians living in barns & other places crawling with insects.

YeahR-ite: This type of kryptonite is needed to make 99.9% of Lana scenes believable by someone with half a braincell.

----- Added 43 Minutes later -----

Ostroff-onite: This is the kryptonite that shrinks budgets & bankrupts companies like Luthorcorp while transferring said money to slutty/trashy causes.

Also present around Kryptonians shortly after getting action in the sack. Does not go with Virgin kryptonite.

[HeroesUnlimited]

Virgin kryptonite: Makes Kryptonians unable to lose their virginity. Summons parents in their bedroom just before they're about to do it with some hot chick. Makes them unable to perform. Makes their girlfriends not in the mood. Makes their girlfriends start talking about something new called secrets & lies. Summons their girlfriend's father with trusty krypto-bullet filled shotgun. Makes their black books fall on their girlfriends' heads just as they're starting to make out. The moral of the story is, you touch this & you ain't ever losin' it.

:lol:

"Afternoon Del - ite" - causes Kryptonians to drop what they're doing and have intercourse with the first female they encounter.

"Social - ite" - causes Kryptonians to suddenly behave in a snobish, superficial way.

[xrayvision]

:eek: :rotfl:

so now we also need ReachOutAndTouchSomeone-onite: kryptonite that takes away Kryptonians superspeed so they actually have to use a FRICKIN' PHONE for conversations that last less than 10 minutes!

hee.

I think this type was finally featured in Stiletto & Doomsday.

----- Added 11 Minutes later -----


Crips-tonite: This type of kryptonite makes Clark go gangsta and freaky with his ho's. He be spray paintin' CKU & addin' lettaz to da sign to makes it mo' appropriate. This also makes him pop a bunch of caps in Cueball's rich ass. His street name would change to BDA---Biggity Dawg Annihilator and would take weekly trips to the Fortress of Shizzle for some Kryptonian bling. He C-walks all ova Lana's ass when he hears talk of C-crets-n-Lyz (which becomes another street name for him).

In the spirit of Crips-tonite & South Park's cripple fight comes:

Crip-tonite: causes Clark to lose his mobility and get into a major fight with WheeLex from Labyrinth like Roddy Piper & Keith David in They Live:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsZpdUUdd3I

[Baldbillionare456]

Crap-tonite: doesn't Take away any powers, It adds the power of a super speedy digestive system. Usually found in polluted lakes.

[xrayvision]

LOL, your Craptonite would come with the warning of not to drink the water. Mon-El Zuma's Revenge. Mine is not that different.


Craptonite: This type of kryptonite makes Clark sh*t his pants in the most untimely circumstances.

Braindead-onite: This type of kryptonite is spied on by farmboys and complains about secrets & lies. It's life is also jeopardized many times and gets knocked up by Cueball-onite. It has no clue why it needs to be protected. Very harmful to plaid wearing Kryptonians.

Cueball-onite: This type of kryptonite is responsible for torturing fish people on tables, fast guys in cells with jolting floors, and was known to have been through a session of radical electroshock therapy. It also has the tendency of giving its holder the former girlfriends of their former best friend. And it gives the holder the ability to be possessed by an alien, trapped criminal and impale the above mentioned girlfriend's hand.

----- Added 2 Minutes later -----

Hmm, I see I also did a CrappedOn-ite:


TalesFromTheCrypt-onite: This type of kryptonite causes episodes of Smallville to turn very morbid. Such effects include Jonathan Kent returning as the Storm Cellar Keeper and telling tales of BDA's, Secrets, Lies, Pies, and Billionaires with skeletons in their closets.

CrappedOn-ite: This type of kryptonite summons hordes of various birds and rats with wings (not the superhero type) to their location. Its result is Smallville meets The Birds where the season finale is about Clark having to save Smallville from becoming bombed and sinking to hell from the overwhelming weight of bird sh*t.

[Baldbillionare456]

Those are way better the mine, especially the last one!

[xrayvision]

Haha, this gave me an idea:

Mood ring kryptonite: Causes humans & Kryptonians to change color after every mood swing. We find out that Lana Lang is really the Chameleon. Marvel then sues DC. :)

Mood ring kryptonite: Causes everyone to think Clark is Papa Smurf (especially with that red jacket).

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[HeroesUnlimited]

Can-you-hear-me-now Kryptonite - Allows Clark to talk to Jor-El in the FOS without yelling


Kryptons-ite: This type of kryptonite makes Clark, Chloe, Lana, and Lois go onto message boards to find out what the latest spoilers are for their TV shows and to debate how one female character from their shows will assume the identity of the female character who will in the future end up with the male star of their favorite show.


NoFl-ite: This is the type of kryptonite that is invisible and prevents Clark from flying. It is believed the inventors names are Millar & Gough.


Adam-nite: This type of kryptonite causes once normal boyfriends to turn crazy and die. This spontaneously forms when pink princess types date too many guys.

NotT-onite: This type of kryptonite makes Kryptonians be not in the mood for certain activities ranging from being "too tired" for having sex with their spoiled, one track minded girlfriends to not wanting to play basketball with their friends who they stole a car for to get out of trouble.


Dy-nom-ite: Makes Kryptonians talk like Jimmie JJ Walker from Good Times.

:rotfl:

[xrayvision]

Those are way better the mine, especially the last one!

Jonathan Kent as the Stormcellar Keeper, telling morbid tales of Lana, and other characters with a lesson would be hilarious.

----- Added 41 Minutes later -----


Neon Kryptonite- Makes Clark sing in an 80s Rock Band and wear sweatbands and cut sweatshirts! Rock on CK!

That would be funny. I could imagine the name being Van Kal-en. :D

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Urban Bl - ite" - causes Kryptonians to run around big cities at superspeed, spray painting gang symbols all over buildings and setting random fires.

"Inv - ite" - causes Kryptonians to hold huge bashes at their parents' home while they're away celebrating their anniversary.

----- Added 5 Minutes later -----

"Are you all r - ite" - Causes Kryptonians to become overly paternal, tending to even the most minor injuries and soothing hurt feelings.

[Baldbillionare456]

Let's-Groove-to-nite: Takes away dancing abilities from any Kryptonian it is near. Clark Kent's shampoo holds a type of this kryptonite. The pro's of this Kryptonite it makes your hair luscious and shiny!

Medieval Kn-ite: Any Human or Kryptonian that touches it becomes under the influence that they are a Knight protecting a Prince or Princess from a Dragon.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Pol - ite" - causes Kryptonians to be EXTREMELY courteous to others.

[Baldbillionare456]

"Pol - ite" - causes Kryptonians to be EXTREMELY courteous to others.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::lol::lol::):lol::D:rotfl: Why I laughed at this one so hard I don't know!

L-ite: Causes Kryptonians who come in contact to become almost weightless, also cases of Kryptonians to be able to change light-bulbs even faster than they could before

[xrayvision]

Let's-Groove-to-nite: Takes away dancing abilities from any Kryptonian it is near. Clark Kent's shampoo holds a type of this kryptonite. The pro's of this Kryptonite it makes your hair luscious and shiny!

:lol:

Another effect:

-Causes Kryptonians to gather their friends and form an 70's & 80's style R&B band called Krypton, Superbreath & Heatvision

[Baldbillionare456]

Crepe-tonite: Makes any Kryptonian near it crave crepes,and will do anything to get them. Unfourtunatley nobody makes crepes anymore so the Kryptonian affected goes insane. And No pancakes won't do!

[xrayvision]

TonightTonight-tonite: The kryptonite that turns Kryptonians' voices to have British accents, thus explaining why Jor-El went from having an American accent to a British one. It also causes them to worship Genesis and sing songs about how tonight they will make things right.

----- Added 1 Minutes later -----

TakeMeHome-tonite: Turns Kryptonians into fans of Eddie Money.

[HeroesUnlimited]

TakeMeHome-tonite: Turns Kryptonians into fans of Eddie Money.

LOL!

[xrayvision]

Peg Kryptonite: Formerly known as red hair kryptonite but was sued by the makers of red-k. This type of kryptonite is known to cause certain parasites' hair to turn red. Works great on parasites who stole $10 million from their former husbands. Unlike other companies like Clairol, one time does the trick.

[Baldbillionare456]

to-nite: Causes people close to become Narcoleptic

Spell-r-ite: Causes people with close contact to have the spelling ability of a Kindergardener

Nick-At-N-ite: Anyone in close contact becomes obsessed with 90's comedy shows such as Full House, The Cosby Show, George Lopez, Frasier, and Home Improvement

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Reun - ite" - compels Kryptonians to run around at super speed looking for ex-girlfriends to hook up with again

"Rec - ite" - gives Kryptonians temporary total recall ability.

"Ludd - ite" - gives Kryptonians a temporary aversion to all technology.

"Web s - ite" - compels Kryptonians to surf the web for hours at a time.

"Infin - ite" - forces Kryptonians to keep doing whatever activity they were doing at the time of "infection" continuously.

"Appet - ite" - compels Kryptonians to eat continuously until appet - ite rock is removed from vicinity.

"Camps - ite" - compels Kryptonians to continuously sing camp songs and eat smores.

"oppos - ite" - forces Kryptonians to do the opposite of what they would normally do in particular situations (the Bizarro effect).

"limel - ite" - compels Kryptonians to become the center of attention.

"sattel - ite" - compels (flight capable) Kryptonians to put themselves in orbit around the earth.

----- Added 23 Minutes later -----

"Grave s - ite" - causes instant death to a Kryptonian.

"Gigab - ite" - gives Kryptonians super computer abilities.

"Frostb - ite" - compels Kryptonians to go around freezing people with their super breath.

"Bud L - ite" - compels Kryptonians to get drunk.

"sound b - ite" - compels Kryptonians to seek out reporters to make provocative statements to.

"over b - ite" - does serioius damage to a Kryptonian's teeth.

"ghost wr - ite" - compels Kryptonians to write stories and then submit them anonymously to publication companies.

"under wri - ite" - compels Kryptonians to get into the mortgage business

And perhaps my favorite of all time...

"hermaphrod - ite" - causes a Kryptonians to spontaneously develop the gentitals of the opposite sex (*Note: Although not seen on screen, it is very likely that Shelby was exposed to "hermaphod - ite" offscreen).

:) :) :)

[xrayvision]

I think Lex was exposed to hermaphrod-ite & became Tess. :)

----- Added 4 Minutes later -----

GoFlyAK-ite: A type of kryptonite that censors foul-mouthed Kryptonians, especially when they tell someone to f off or to go f themselves. It was used by Late Night With Conan O Brien:

http://www.nbc.com/Late_Night_with_Conan_O'Brien/video/clips/batman-obscenities-91808/668585/

[KaraClarkfan]

coffee-cream kyptonite-turns clark into workalcohlic..lol

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Up All N - ite" - gives Kryptonians insomnia

"Halloween N - ite" - gives Kryptonians a serious craving for candy.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Favor - ite" - causes Kryptonians to become obsessed and to stalk others (the Alicia effect).

[Baldbillionare456]

Rainbow B-rite: Causes kryptonians to become obsessed with colorful and girly cartoons.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Lite Br - ite" - a Kryptonian child's toy which utilizes several different colors of Kryptonite to create colorful pictures.

----- Added 5 Minutes later -----

"sp - ite" - causes Kryptonians to behave in a mean, hurtful way.

----- Added 26 Minutes later -----

"Fist F - ite" - compels Kryptonians to start bar room brawls.

----- Added 26 Minutes later -----


:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::lol::lol::):lol::D:rotfl: Why I laughed at this one so hard I don't know!

:D:D

[Baldbillionare456]

A'ight-onite: makes Kryptonians agree to everythign by yelling A'ight!

Nicholas Cage-onite: Makes Kryptonians says cheesy one liners and express emotion from their brow

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Copyr - ite" - compels Kryptonians to sue any persons who use their likeness to sell products, services, etc.

[Baldbillionare456]

Bill of R-ite- causes Kryptonians to to randomly quote the Bill Of Rights

[xrayvision]

Disney-onite: No, this type of kryptonite has nothing to do with Ice Capades or anything similar. Instead, it warps the cartoon world as Kryptonians & human watch. Its effects include Meteor Mouse whose reporter identity is Donald Dork, Krypto Pluto the unfed dog, Minnie "Dear John" Mouse, and Hoofy (the Hyuck'ing Horse). The largest building is a big skyscraper called MoneyBinCorp.

----- Added 1 Minutes later -----

AfraidofH-ite: This type of kryptonite makes Kryptonians afraid of flying. It is very, very abundant.

[xrayvision]

KITT-onite: a type of kryptonite that is self-mobile. It glows red from side to side every now & then & actually protects Clark and sacrifices itself. When Clark holds it, it gives him extra powers like Turbo Roost, which allows him to leap & clean the rooster & chicken feces. It also gives him "Super Her Suit" mode which allows him to make out with Lana without being affected by her suit. "Ski Mode" allows Clark to deal with Lana on 2 legs instead of grovelling on all fours.

KARR-tonite: The prototype version of KITT-onite. Its primary objective is self-preservation. It ditches Clark in the middle of "Super Her Suit" mode and leaves him defenseless against Lana's suit. It also shuts down its "Ski Mode" to save itself. It was believed to have exploded on a beach, but returned with a yellow side-to-side glow. Very, very dangerous.

Crabs-tonite: The type of kryptonite that's guaranteed to give Clark VD.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Oh Holy N - ite" - causes Kryptonians to behave in a very spiritual way.

[xrayvision]

Seven Eleven kryptonite: Kryptonite that isn't as strong as your average green-k since it's past it's expiration date. Allows Clark to krawl and pick it up if placed on or around him & throw it away.

TMZ kryptonite: Kryptonite that makes Kryptonians act like self-absorbed Hollywood airheads.

----- Added 22 Minutes later -----

Mac-tonite: Causes Kryptonians heads to turn into a crescent moon and gives them cravings for Big Macs while they sing about their love for them on a piano on the clouds high above Metropolis. For those who have no idea what I'm talking about:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZgCs0YoF4M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oqq-x1SYzo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCtndp3bUZc

[HeroesUnlimited]

Seven Eleven kryptonite: Kryptonite that isn't as strong as your average green-k since it's past it's expiration date. Allows Clark to krawl and pick it up if placed on or around him & throw it away.

I thought for sure this was going to have something to do with Kryptonite Slurpees, lol

[xrayvision]

Nah, I wanted to associate it with expired milk (even though my local Seven Eleven doesn't carry expired milk).

[HeroesUnlimited]

I see the video break up thread is gone. Can't say I'm surprised. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. ;) No biggie

[xrayvision]

DearJ-onite: This kryptonite removes a human's or Kryptonian's balls like a Dear John video sent to them by their vengeful, emasculating girlfriend.

GreerJ-onite: This is the most sought-after kryptonite by Kryptonians & humans. This leaves a Kryptonian's or human's balls intact after their girlfriends break up with them, since this type of kryptonite makes their girlfriend turn out to be a shapeshifter version of them instead of the real girlfriend, who was actually kidnapped by the shapeshifter, who has a sexual attraction of them.

[HeroesUnlimited]

DearJ-onite: This kryptonite removes a human's or Kryptonian's balls like a Dear John video sent to them by their vengeful, emasculating girlfriend.

:rotfl::rotfl:

[xrayvision]

DeerJ-onite: Causes bucks who are about to have their balls ripped off by their doe girlfriends (who are about to break up with them) to get hit by the cars of fat-sucking teens instead of being emasculated.

[HeroesUnlimited]

DeerJ-onite: Causes bucks who are about to have their balls ripped off by their doe girlfriends (who are about to break up with them) to get hit by the cars of fat-sucking teens instead of being emasculated.

:lol::lol::lol:

[xrayvision]

ThePriceIsR-ite: Makes Kryptonians & humans underbid each other when they go shopping. Also forces them to spay or neuter their pets. [cough, Shelby, cough]

[HeroesUnlimited]

ThePriceIsR-ite: Makes Kryptonians & humans underbid each other when they go shopping. Also forces them to spay or neuter their pets. [cough, Shelby, cough]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[KaraClarkfan]

Elivis-nite: turns clark into Elvis Presley..lol

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Stalagt - ite" - gives Kryptonians a temporary phobia of caves.

[Welling_is_pretty]

TMZ kryptonite: Kryptonite that makes Kryptonians act like self-absorbed Hollywood airheads.
:rotfl:


Mac-tonite: Causes Kryptonians heads to turn into a crescent moon and gives them cravings for Big Macs while they sing about their love for them on a piano on the clouds high above Metropolis.
:rotfl: :rotfl:
Actually when I first read it I thought it was going to be a "Mac and Cheese" joke but this is even better! Ahhh, the memories!

[xrayvision]

FightForTheR-ite: The type of kryptonite with one of the most embarassing & awkward effects on Clark. Placing it near him makes him spontaneously start singing Hulk Hogan's ring entrance music. It's especially funny when he's out on a date with a girl, at the movies, at work in the basement of the Daily Planet, or at a funeral.

[HeroesUnlimited]

FightForTheR-ite: The type of kryptonite with one of the most embarassing & awkward effects on Clark. Placing it near him makes him spontaneously start singing Hulk Hogan's ring entrance music. It's especially funny when he's out on a date with a girl, at the movies, at work in the basement of the Daily Planet, or at a funeral.

Beastie Boy Kryptonite? lol

"Stage Fr - ite" - causes Kryptonians to panic during television interviews.

[xrayvision]

Overb-ite: Gives Kryptonians dental problems. Especially damaging to Doomsday.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Reun - ite" - compels Kryptonians to run around at super speed looking for ex-girlfriends to hook up with again

"Rec - ite" - gives Kryptonians temporary total recall ability.

"Ludd - ite" - gives Kryptonians a temporary aversion to all technology.

"Web s - ite" - compels Kryptonians to surf the web for hours at a time.

"Infin - ite" - forces Kryptonians to keep doing whatever activity they were doing at the time of "infection" continuously.

"Appet - ite" - compels Kryptonians to eat continuously until appet - ite rock is removed from vicinity.

"Camps - ite" - compels Kryptonians to continuously sing camp songs and eat smores.

"oppos - ite" - forces Kryptonians to do the opposite of what they would normally do in particular situations (the Bizarro effect).

"limel - ite" - compels Kryptonians to become the center of attention.

"sattel - ite" - compels (flight capable) Kryptonians to put themselves in orbit around the earth.

----- Added 23 Minutes later -----

"Grave s - ite" - causes instant death to a Kryptonian.

"Gigab - ite" - gives Kryptonians super computer abilities.

"Frostb - ite" - compels Kryptonians to go around freezing people with their super breath.

"Bud L - ite" - compels Kryptonians to get drunk.

"sound b - ite" - compels Kryptonians to seek out reporters to make provocative statements to.

"over b - ite" - does serioius damage to a Kryptonian's teeth.

"ghost wr - ite" - compels Kryptonians to write stories and then submit them anonymously to publication companies.

"under wri - ite" - compels Kryptonians to get into the mortgage business

And perhaps my favorite of all time...

"hermaphrod - ite" - causes a Kryptonians to spontaneously develop the gentitals of the opposite sex (*Note: Although not seen on screen, it is very likely that Shelby was exposed to "hermaphod - ite" offscreen).

:) :) :)

I think "Over B - ite" is somewhere in this list. Bright minds think alike, eh?

[xrayvision]

I should have known this one was covered. Nice. :)


OutOfS-ite: Makes Kryptonians blind.

TerraB-ite: The upgrade of GigaB-ite. Gives them computer abilities at Brainiac's level.

DarkKn-ite: Makes any movie written by a human or Kryptonian become a blockbuster hit.

BugL-ite: Allows Clark to go camping without having to explain why he has no mosquito bites when everyone else does.

MosquitoB-ite: Has the opposite effect of BugL-ite.

Mesqu-ite: Makes Kryptonians become masters of grilling & barbecues. Side effects include loving barbecues so much that steak, pork, burgers, hotdogs & the like replace pie and keep them from their destinies.

[HeroesUnlimited]

MosquitoB-ite

Mesqu-ite: Makes Kryptonians become masters of grilling & barbecues. Side effects include loving barbecues so much that steak, pork, burgers, hotdogs & the like replace pie and keep them from their destinies.


:lol:

[xrayvision]

FogL-ite: Reduces car accidents caused by Clark at night by 75%. Also gives Clark a huge insurance policy discount.

----- Added 1 Minutes later -----

Aud-ite: Summons the phantoms of the Kryptonian IRS from the Phantom Zone & sicks them on Clark's ass.

----- Added 8 Minutes later -----


TonightTonight-tonite: The kryptonite that turns Kryptonians' voices to have British accents, thus explaining why Jor-El went from having an American accent to a British one. It also causes them to worship Genesis and sing songs about how tonight they will make things right.

OneMore-nite: This is a smaller piece of TonightTonight-tonite that decided to break off & start its own career. Improves Clark's singing ability so he can sing love songs for his pies.

Starl-ite: Makes Kryptonians addicted to Starlight mints. Causes Clark to make nightly raids of restaurants & fast food joints so that they run out of mints to give to patrons. Comes in wintergreen or peppermint flavors and a nice plastic wrapper. One per customer.

[HeroesUnlimited]

Aud-ite: Summons the phantoms of the Kryptonian IRS from the Phantom Zone & sicks them on Clark's ass.


:rotfl:

----- Added 24 Minutes later -----

"Marlboro L - ite" - causes Kryptonians to become addicted to nicotene and start chain-smoking cigarettes.

[xrayvision]

TalkingAllN-ite: Turns Clark into a phone junkie. Causes the Red-Blue Blur to call Lois so much that Lois blocks his number & gets a restraining order.

[9-SOSIHTWB]

"Marlboro L - ite" - causes Kryptonians to become addicted to nicotene and start chain-smoking cigarettes.

:rotfl:How do you come up with these things!!!

----- Added 2 Minutes later -----


brown kryptonite

gives kryptonians explosive diarhea

:rotfl:That's made my day!!! (It's only 8.05am so something better could happen, but I doubt it!!!

[xrayvision]

NotQu-ite: Makes Kryptonians like Dr. Watson where they come up with all the wrong explanations while their friends like Sherlock come up with the right ones based on their wrong ones.

[Tompouce]

"Oh Holy N - ite" - causes Kryptonians to behave in a very spiritual way.
Excellent:rotfl:
Orange K (my favorite color) : give the power to Kryptonians to speak French fluently (if there is only Clark, this is not a problem:D):p

[KaraClarkfan]

lois-nite(violet): makes clark super crazy for lois..lol

[xrayvision]

OffS-ite: Reimburses Kryptonians for business travel.

LastR-ite: The type of kryptonite used for Kryptonian tombstones/headstones.

MirandaR-ite: Gives Kryptonians & humans the right to remain silent. It doesn't work on those who run or used to run the Isis Foundation as they refuse to shut the hell up.

[HeroesUnlimited]

MirandaR-ite: Gives Kryptonians & humans the right to remain silent. It doesn't work on those who run or used to run the Isis Foundation as they refuse to shut the hell up.

:lol:

"Cellul - ite" - gives Kryptonians fat folds and man boobs.

[xrayvision]

^^:lol:

Good-nite: Gives Kryptonians happy dreams.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Snow Wh - ite" - compels Kryptonians to dress in drag and parade around with a group of "little people".

[KaraClarkfan]

computer-nite: makes kryptonians computer nerds
kung fu-nite: makes kyrptonians use kung fu

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Transvest - ite" - compels male Kryptonians to dress up in women's clothing.

[xrayvision]

UpAllN-ite: Gives Kryptonians a bad case of insomnia. Can be lethal if combined with DearJon-ite.

----- Added 1 Minutes later -----

Appet-ite: Gives Clark an endless hunger for pie.

[9-SOSIHTWB]

Mall-ite: Used to knock sense into Kryptonians!!!

[xrayvision]

CrystalL-ite: Quenches the thirst of Kryptonian women after workouts or if they're kalorie kounting.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Flashl - ite" - gives off light so Kryptonians can see in the dark.

[xrayvision]

Granola Kryptonite: For those Kryptonians who get hungry in the morning & don't have time to eat breakfast.

Creamy Kryptonite: For Kryptonians who like a smooth kryptonite to down with some juice for lunch.

Chunky Kryptonite: For Kryptonians who like the extra effort of having to chew and drink a lot more juice to down their lunch.

Jeannie Kryptonite: Rub it & it'll give you 3 wishes & a sexy female genie. Very rare.

Bewitched-onite: The rival of Jeannie Kryptonite and along with Jeannie Kryptonite is the subject of a decades-long debate.

eV-ite: Kryptonite gone digital. This is the most advanced form of kryptonite there is. You can email it to Clark or a Kryptonian and hurt them at their computer screen. Also has the powers to invite Kryptonians to parties.

Tripart-ite: Can split a country or territory into 3 regions, each controlled by its own Kryptonian dictator.

[HeroesUnlimited]

eV-ite: Kryptonite gone digital. This is the most advanced form of kryptonite there is. You can email it to Clark or a Kryptonian and hurt them at their computer screen. Also has the powers to invite Kryptonians to parties.

:lol::lol:

Alex Trebeck - ite: Summons a doppleganger of Alex Trebeck to follow you around and fine you every time you say something that isn't phrased in the form of a question.

[xrayvision]

:lol:

That would be so damn annoying. Clark would probably choke him & drag his body around like Bernie in Weekend at Bernie's as his Uncle, Strang-El.

----- Added 57 Seconds later -----

Patric-ite: Makes Kryptonians & humans kill their fathers. Unusually common in Luthor households.

[HeroesUnlimited]

his Uncle, Strang-El.

:rotfl:

----- Added 1 Minutes later -----

Regis - ite: Summons a doppleganger of Regis Philbin to follow you around and tell you that you still have three lifelines every time you're faced with a difficult decision.

[xrayvision]

FinalF-ite: The first ever videogame based on kryptonite. The player controls a kryptonite infected mayor, Mr. Lang, whose daughter, Lana, is kidnapped and has to go through the various sections of Metropolis acquiring new krypto-powers and kill the various Boss Rosses of each area. The final fight takes place on the 60th floor of Luthorcorp.

[HeroesUnlimited]

Polycarbon - ite: A kryptonite suitable for making prescription glasses out of for near-sighted Kryptonians.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Mr. R - ite" - Turns any man into the perfect mate. So perfect that Lana Lang will forget she even owns a camcorder. ;)

"A Midsummer's N - ite" - compels Kryptonians to quote Shakespeare

"M. N - ite" - compels Kryptonians to go around quoting lines from M. Night Shyamalan movies like "I see dead people" (from The Sixth Sense)

"Silent N - ite" - complels Kryptonians to go around singing Christmas carols, even during the summer months.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Yeah, Riiiiiii - ite" - Causes Kryptonians to doubt anything they're told.

[xrayvision]

Ah, I see you added extra i's to avoid having it spelled the same as my YeahR-ite. Different effects too. Those effects would be funny.

Tess: The sky is clear & blue now Clark. I think you can go outside without getting all wet.

Clark: Yeah right. I don't think it's blue. It looks red to me. Red is the color of death you know.

Tess: Get your Death-Blue Blur ass outside now or you're fired!!

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Cowbell - ite" - Causes Kryptonians to act out SNL skits involving Will Ferrell and the Blue Oyster Cult. :)

[Welling_is_pretty]

Jeannie Kryptonite: Rub it & it'll give you 3 wishes & a sexy female genie. Very rare.

Bewitched-onite: The rival of Jeannie Kryptonite and along with Jeannie Kryptonite is the subject of a decades-long debate.
:lol: Oh that is clever!

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Seacrest out - ite" - makes Kryptonians behave like metrosexuals.

----- Added 47 Seconds later -----

"The tribe has spoken - ite" - compels to Kryptonians to vote in elections they otherwise might have ignored.

----- Added 1 Minutes later -----

"So easy, a caveman could do - ite" - makes difficult tasks seem super easy.

lol :) :) :)

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Buy -ite Now" - compels Kryptonians to shop on Ebay

"Just Do -ite" - compels Kryptonians to purchase and wear Nike brand products

"Do -ite yourself" - turns Kryptonians into handymen.

"Forget about -ite" - gives Kryptonians temporary amnesia

"Rumor has -ite" - compels Kryptonians to go around spreading rumors

----- Added 42 Minutes later -----

"Bronch - ite" - makes Kryptonians vulnerable to respiratory infections, coughing, sore throats, etc.

"Gingivit - ite" - like "Overb - ite", Gingivit - ite has a catastrophic effect on a Kryptonian's teeth and gums.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"I don't get - ite" - Make Kyrptonians temporarily unable to "get" the punchline of jokes.

[KaraClarkfan]

michael jackson-ite: turns kryptonians into Michael Jackson..lol

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Frank Caliend - ite" - Gives Kryptonians the temporary ability to impersonate others, especially John Madden.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Brett Favre - ite" - Makes it so that Kryptonians will never retire. They will hold press conferences each year, give teary good-byes, then announce they're coming out of retirement the following year.

----- Added 32 Seconds later -----

"John Madden - ite" - Makes a Kryptonian obsessed with Brett Favre.

[Saph]

"So easy, a caveman could do - ite" - makes difficult tasks seem super easy.

lol :) :) :)
:lol:

HU, you seem to be on a roll with these :p

Pity I'm not witty enough to make these up otherwise I'd help contribute. I love reading them though :)

[HeroesUnlimited]

Yeah, XRayVision is pretty clever with these too. I wonder where he's been!

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Suburban - ite" - Compels to Kryptonians to fight crime in the suburbs rather than in big cities.

[KaraClarkfan]

Vampire-nite: turns kryptonians in vampires

[deathwish2120]

I cant beleive its not Krypto-nite - Nope, just a simple rock.

[HeroesUnlimited]

Ed McMahon - ite: turns Kryptonian super heroes into sidekicks for the duration of the exposure.

[KaraClarkfan]

math-nite: makes kryptonians good in math..lol..(i need that)

[HeroesUnlimited]

"headl - ite" - makes Kryptonians preoccupied with breasts.

[KaraClarkfan]

farmer-nite: makes kryptonians great farmers..lol

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Billy Mays - ite" - Turns Kryptonians into great salesman.

[RobMcC]

Snob - ite - Turns Kryptonians into upper-class British people who sit are drinking Tea all day eating Cucumber sandwiches without the crusts.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"That was bloody awful - ite" - Turns Kryptonians into music critics.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"John and Kate plus - ite" - Causes Kryptonians to reproduce out of control, sign on for a reality show, and leave their spouses in a very public break-up

[Syn]

Clear Kryptonite; lets kryptonians walk through walls.

[xrayvision]

SpiderB-ite: This type of kryptonite summons Spider-Man to the DC Universe, turns him gay, and makes him give Clark several hickeys.

[HeroesUnlimited]

Hey XRayVision!! It's nice to have you back man!

[xrayvision]

Hey XRayVision!! It's nice to have you back man!

Thanks. That craphole of a finale really messed up my mood for the show. I completely missed the Episode Wars & I'm not happy about that. Screw it though. Maybe next year if I'm watching the show anymore by then.

[skully]

xray!!! Where ya been, buddy?? We've missed you. :D

[Ella]

SpiderB-ite: This type of kryptonite summons Spider-Man to the DC Universe, turns him gay, and makes him give Clark several hickeys.

That's hot. :cool:

Although can we somehow make it be Bruce and Clark instead of Clark and Spiderman? Peter Parker does NOTHING for me. :lol:

----- Added 45 Seconds later -----


I cant beleive its not Krypto-nite - Nope, just a simple rock.
:rotfl:

[HeroesUnlimited]

"College Football - ite" - draws unsuspecting Smallville fans away from K-Site on Saturday afternoons to watch endless hours of college football.

[Clana Kent]

Clarksonite, makes everyone sing Kelly Clarkson songs :D

[SGuthrie27]

"Thiiiiiisistheniiiiiiite," which causes you to want to watch "Lady and the Tramp" over and over, especially the spaghetti scene. :p

--SGuthrie ><>' :)--

[Clana Kent]

Einsteinite :p Makes you really smart!

----- Added 39 Seconds later -----

Flite :p Makes you fly. :lol:

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Fantasy football - ite" - Makes otherwise intelligent individuals "geek out" and pretend to be general managers of make-believe football teams.

[Clois4eva89]

white kryptonite makes you have the urge to watch episodes of Home Improvement nonstop.Despite the fact you know the show by heart and would rather do something else.

[xrayvision]

IfLovingPieIsWrongIDontWannaBeR-ite: makes Clark deaf to Lana's complaints & his love for pie eclipse everything else, meanwhile Lana continuously yells at him saying how she's always right & he's always wrong.

PutUpAF-ite: increases the amount of time elapsed until a Smallville character kneels before Zod.

[HeroesUnlimited]

Urban Bl - ite - causes Kryptonians to go around, burning their family crest into the sides of buildings.

[Welling_is_pretty]

IfLovingPieIsWrongIDontWannaBeR-ite: makes Clark deaf to Lana's complaints & his love for pie eclipse everything else, meanwhile Lana continuously yells at him saying how she's always right & he's always wrong.
:rotfl: :rotfl:

I like it!

[xrayvision]

BrightL-ite: kills Kryptonian Mogwai's/Gremlins.

PerryWh-ite: this rock magically edits Clark's article for him & submits them to be published to the Daily Planet.

[xrayvision]

Social-ite: This type of kryptonite destroys Smallville once and for all. It turns Smallville into a town where only uppity, trashy, spoiled brat women live. Lana's & Whitney's horses are taken over by "B**ches in Britches", the Isis Foundation is turned into a clinic where psychiatrists listen to "Confessions of a Backup Dancer", and Dawn Ostroff is worshipped as the almighty creator of the world. (Note: The quoted items are actually titles for shows in the works by Dawn Ostroff for the CW, no kidding)

----- Added 12 Minutes later -----

JohnnyAl-ite: a type of kryptonite that once aided John Gotti Jr. & now rats on him.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"It's all for the show - ite" - Causes mentally unbalanced fathers to pretend to send their six year old children up in hot air balloons shaped liked UFOs so that they can get their own reality TV show.

----- Added 2 Minutes later -----

"A-Rod - ite" - causes Yankees baseball players to grab their teammates butts on national television, following an exciting play. see also: "Derek Jeter - ite"

----- Added 3 Minutes later -----

"ESPN - ite" - causes broadcasters to talk about Brett Favre for hours at a time non-stop.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Brett Favre - ite" - causes people to retire, then unretire, retire, then unretire, retire, then unretire...

[xrayvision]

^^LOL, I could imagine Clark hanging up the Blur suit and then putting it back on and then giving it up again up to the point where Metropolis tells him to screw himself.

[HeroesUnlimited]

^^LOL, I could imagine Clark hanging up the Blur suit and then putting it back on and then giving it up again up to the point where Metropolis tells him to screw himself.

I think Oliver may have been exposed to some Brett Favre - ite, lol

[xrayvision]

Heck yeah

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Swine Flu - ite" - a type of Kryptonite used by the media (against the general public) in order to create panic and drive up their ratings.

[xrayvision]

ShyamanlanMN-ite: Turns Clark into a Yoda/Bizarro-like Kryptonian who jumbles up words and loves making horror movies based off his life with Lana

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Holiday commercialism - ite" - compels stores to put out displays for holidays which are still several months away (ie Halloween decorations in April, Christmas decorations in September)

[xrayvision]

Piel-ite: Makes Clark videotape himself eating pies and then hijack the national airwaves and broadcast his own lineup of TV shows, including Pielight Reels: Clark's Greatest Pie Moments, the Pielight Zone: All Out Of Pie, Bill Pie: The Secrets Guy, and Family Pies.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Vot -ite" - compells humans to conduct a poll to "vote" on every decision they'll ever have to make. Should I have a turkey sandwich for lunch or a hamburger combo? America, vote now! Should I get up and go to the bathroom during a commercial break, or should I try to hold it until the show is over? America, using your cell phones, please vote now!

[xrayvision]

^^
LOL. I have a joke about that, but I'll avoid saying it here.

ShopR-ite: Makes Clark win supermarket shopping sprees in every supermarket he goes to. But there's a catch. He has to first move into various supermarkets after becoming too cheap to pay for air conditioning at home & then cut in front of the person he's behind in line for the cash register after being forced to buy something by the manager. This then prompts an investigation that leads to a shopping spree competition that pits Clark against those he cut in line for his various shopping sprees, like Lex, Lois, Lana, Oliver, etc. Clark's signature move for the win is grabbing a frozen turkey & running down his competition as he goes for the touchdown. Unfortunately, before reaching triumph, he always gets sprayed in the eyes with kryptonite-laced douche. (This one's for any Married With Children fans out there).

By the way, I based this on a supermarket chain (Shop Rite) in the northeast & mid-Atlantic states. Here's the website in case people don't believe me:
http://www.shoprite.com

[HeroesUnlimited]

he always gets sprayed in the eyes with kryptonite-laced douche.

ha ha ha!!!!

----- Added 1 Minutes later -----

"Monday N - ite" - causes television broadcasters to become preoccupied by individual players during football games (ie Brett Favre, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady) and ramble on endlessly about them, meanwhile ignoring the game in front of them.

----- Added 3 Minutes later -----

"Twitter - ite" - compels people to share mundane details about their life with the entire world.

----- Added 4 Minutes later -----

"Idio - ite" - causes otherwise intelligent individuals to talk on their cell phones while driving and nearly cause traffic pile ups.

[xrayvision]

LOL, why does something tell me you experienced people who were on Idio-ite on your commute today?

[HeroesUnlimited]

LOL, why does something tell me you experienced people who were on Idio-ite on your commute today?

Sadly, just about every day.

[xrayvision]

I'llGet-onite: A type of kryptonite that makes Clark tells Tess or Randall the editor that he'll get on it when they ask him to do something, but then makes him just go back and play solitaire on his computer & bid on celebrities' pies on Ebay.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Left or R - ite?" - Gives Kryptonians a very poor sense of direction.

[HeroesUnlimited]

"Pants are too T - ite" - Causes people to over eat during the holidays, especially Thanksgiving

[xrayvision]

KaraokeN-ite: This type of kryptonite makes Clark & other Kryptonians who have no singing talent get up from what they were doing & start singing & making fools out of themselves.

BlackOrWh-ite: This type of kryptonite makes anyone's face morph like the end of that Michael Jackson video. It turns out that this is the type of kryptonite that turned Tina Greer into who she became.

TakeAB-ite: This makes Clark take bites out of various people's food, only for them to get pissed off at him.

----- Added 24 Minutes later -----

Spr-ite: The most deceptive type of kryptonite. Komes in a green kan, but is klear and looks like karbonated soda. Kryptonite Korp really did a good job hiding this one.

[xrayvision]

Twil-ite: This is very much like black-k, but rather than splitting Clark into his nature vs. nurture personas, it splits him into opposing personas that are pro-vampire and pro-werewolf. Or as Dean in Supernatural would say, pro-douchepire & pro-douchewolf. Unfortunately, the 2 sides attack each other like rabid fangirls and rather than becoming Superman, the 2 Clarks end up becoming the leaders of the opposing factions of fangirls as they take their enthusiasm to a new level.

[xrayvision]

BrightL-ite: Gives Kryptonians the same vulnerability that Mogwais like Gizmo in Gremlins have. It's highly suspected that Bizarro's phantom had absorbed a large amount of this before taking Clark's cells & getting his own body.

[Last Son of Vern]

Eggplant Kryptonite: Enhances Kryptonian health and powers, but generally overlooked as bland or distasteful.

Maroon Kryptonite: A variant of Red. Causes Kryptonians to develop a wisecracking trickster personality similar to Bugs Bunny.

K-64: An industrial bundle of various Kryptonite varieties, processed under contract by a division of Luthorcorp in partnership with Binney & Smith. Package includes free Kryptonite dagger sharpener.


And from my J.J. Abrams Superman fanfic spoof:

Chromatic Kryptonite: Has the power to affect reality, justifying timeline glitches and rendering the storyteller immune to continuity criticism.

[xrayvision]

iPod kryptonite: This type of kryptonite replaces every similar type of kryptonite there was before it when it becomes the kryptonite of choice due to brand loyalty.

TSA kryptonite: Once a Kryptonian is exposed to this, it won't let them fly for the rest of their life without being severely groped, strip searched, or having their body cavities checked first.

----- Added 1 Minutes later -----

Bieber kryptonite: A talentless kryptonite that sucks at doing what claims to be its job, which is draining Kryptonians of their power, but gets all the hype for some unknown reason. Very popular with young teenage girls especially with those who are meteor freaks.

[MannaBanana]

I havent been able to read them all so I hope I dont use somebody elses

Rainbow Br-ite: Causes Kryptonians to go color blind.

[xrayvision]

I think I did a version of Rainbow Br-ite (or was it Lite Br-ite). Either way it's fine since yours is different anyway. I've done multiple version of ones I posted. So it's no problem.

[LuthorKent90]

Bieber kryptonite: A talentless kryptonite that sucks at doing what claims to be its job, which is draining Kryptonians of their power, but gets all the hype for some unknown reason. Very popular with young teenage girls especially with those who are meteor freaks.

:lol: Good one.

[xrayvision]

:lol: Good one.

Thanks.

Kraft-onite: This type of kryptonite comes in a variety of forms, such as salad dressings, crackers, cheese singles, macaroni & cheese, chips, and all sorts of goodies.

Creep-tonite: This type of kryptonite turns Kryptonians & humans into Creepshow characters & alters their lives to those typical of Creepshow tales. Therefore Joseph Willowbrook & Jeremiah go rogue & kill that store owner who was attacked by Shelby's canine partner in Krypto after robbing his store & get scalped by a wooden Native American statue come to life. AC & Mera go to a lake where a sentient oil slick engulfs & dissolves them. Martha Kent accidentally kills a hitch hiker while on her way home from being unfaithful to Jonathan & is haunted by the hitch hiker. Lionel Luthor's million dollar apartment gets infested by cockroaches & all sorts of bugs summoned by the spirit of Greg Arkin who killed himself after being worked to the bone by Lionel. Oliver is approached by Clark at his house after having an affair with Lois, where Clark kidnaps her & buries her up to her neck in sand on his own private beach & takes Oliver to a different part of the same beach & does the same to him after pulling out a gun. He lets them drown by the high tides & is then attacked by their spirits in his beach house. Henry Small, who Lana killed years ago, rises from his grave demanding his father's day cake from her & kills her and her family members who are at a Father's Day gathering. Jonathan finds a meteor that landed outside his farm & turns into a plant-man after touching it.

[xrayvision]

Red Hair Kryptonite: This one's nothing like red-k. Instead, this type of kryptonite turns anyone's hair red, and you know what that means---they will have Lionel retconned to be their daddy! The main side effect is retroactive death as the person affected may not survive their retconned childhood. That's a 90% mortality rate there.

Retc-onite: This type of kryptonite is known for causing multiple explanations for things...such as reasons why Krypton was destroyed, the various Sageeths, the orb, Alia
s powers under both suns, the stones, and many more.

[Last Son of Vern]

Kryptonite Type 9 (K-9): This addictive mineral strain bonds with animal fossils, causing Kryptonians to behave like dogs as they hunt for and hoard the enriched bones. Enhances adrenal functioning in actual Kryptonian dogs.

[xrayvision]

Fr-ite: This is the kryptonite that literally scares the pants off someone & makes them naked.

[HopeforTomorrow]

Retc-onite: This type of kryptonite is known for causing multiple explanations for things...such as reasons why Krypton was destroyed, the various Sageeths, the orb, Alia
s powers under both suns, the stones, and many more.

:lol: Awesome!

I've got to read some more of these threads.

[HopeforTomorrow]

Alright I'll give this a try.

Chickenf-ite: a person under the influence of this rocks effects will eventually lose their sense of reality and begin to organize numerous chickenfighting rings in the town. Unfortunately for them, they don't understand the concept of "underground" and will usually stage these competitions in broad daylight and in plain view in and around popular Smallville landmarks - which is usually followed by arrest, rehab, and community service work.


Sidenote: This has the potential to be a huge problem in Smallville considering its high chicken population.

[Last Son of Vern]

Nth Metal: Yes, you heard me. I figure we may as well call it Kryptonite. We're watching Smallville here, so everybody knows Jor-El must have somehow invented the stuff. :p

[Last Son of Vern]

Lemon Kryptonite: Causes contortions of the mouth.

Neon Avocado Kryptonite: Makes one funky.

[xrayvision]

WKRP-tonite: A type of kryptonite that sends those who come into contact with it on a one way trip to the universe of WKRP in Cincinnati.

[skully]

Saw one on a repeat of The Big Bang Theory last night. Mustard Kryptonite - the only thing Kryptonian Hot Dogs are vulnerable to. :D

[xrayvision]

Bieber kryptonite: Makes the holder appear as Justin Bieber to those interacting with the holder.

----- Added 2 Minutes later -----

Mastercard kryptonite: Kryptonite in the form of a credit card that you can use now & pay later.

[Welling_is_pretty]

Adrienne Palicki kryptonite: where a woman who you thought was your cousin suddenly gets transformed into a certain Princess of Paradise, who a section of fans would love to see you have a romance with.


(ok, it's not that funny or clever but I just thought of it and thought I'd give it a whirl!)