Quotes you wished were in "Beast"

[justme_007]

Post them here :D

[Supsfan]

person X to Davis: "Dear God can't you just morph into Doomsday already so we don't have to deal with this stupid running off and hiding storyline"

[Violet-Shadow]

Chloe: Clark, I have to be honest with you about something. I've been hiding Davis in my basement for several weeks now because I thought it was the only way to prevent him from destroying you and the rest of the world.

Clark: *starts laughing* Chloe, that's really- *stops in midsentence at the look on her face* You're serious? Well, that was a stupid decision to make. But it's probably all my fault somehow...

- - - - - -

Chloe: Jimmy, I know that our relationship was pretty messed up near the end there and it seems like all chances of happiness between us are gone. But...you were right about Davis...I was wrong and I just wanted to say I am sorry. I don't know if you can forgive me...but perhaps one day you will be able to and we'll be friends.

- - - - -

Jimmy: I was doing drugs to ease the pain of everything I've been going through but I've decided to give them up. CK, man, will you help me out?

Clark: Of course, Jimmy. Of course.

[Davis Bloome]

Chloe: "I'm not going to justify my actions about Davis, I just thought what I felt was right."

Clark: "You should have known better, Chloe!

Chloe: "Oh boohoohoo! Why don't you deal with him then and get off my back.

Clark: "I swear if he kills me I'm going to haunt you!"

Chloe rolls her eyes.

Clark: "What about Jimmy, are you going back to him now?!"

Chloe: "What? Are you kidding me?! There's no way in hell I would go back to that guy!"

[RedKalEL]

Clark breaks the phone

jimmy: hey CK you know that's was lois's phone right

clark: Ah son of a.......
.................................................. ........................................

davis singing in a whisper as him and chloe leave town: Beauty and the beast

chloe: what are you singing?

davis: NOTHING!

[beatles4]

Chloe to Davis: I think we should go hide in the tunnels under NYC, where that other TV show Beauty & the Beast live! He's really scary to most, yet very hunky to fans and he's got claws!

[nightshadz]

http://www.totalrocky.com/archive/photos/prop_beast.jpg

Director: Beast Aftershave - Take 1
Doomsday: In the morning I splash it on and it makes me smeel manly
Director: CUT!

[Jill]

http://www.totalrocky.com/archive/photos/prop_beast.jpg

Director: Beast Aftershave - Take 1
Doomsday: In the morning I splash it on and it makes me smeel manly
Director: CUT!

:rotfl:
good one :lol:

Well, something I really would LOVE to hear is...:

Chloe to Davis: "I love you too!"
I know, I'm asking a lot, but a girl can dream, can't she? ;)

[ZODisGOD]

Ash Ketchum: What kind of Pokemon is that? O_o
Doomsday: ROOOAAARRRRR

[chlo-el]

Clark breaks the phone

jimmy: hey CK you know that's was lois's phone right

clark: Ah son of a.......
.................................................. ........................................

davis singing in a whisper as him and chloe leave town: Beauty and the beast

chloe: what are you singing?

davis: NOTHING!

:lol:I like it!

----- Added 5 Minutes later -----


:rotfl:
good one :lol:

Well, something I really would LOVE to hear is...:

Chloe to Davis: "I love you too!"
I know, I'm asking a lot, but a girl can dream, can't she? ;)

I'm right there w/ you!;)

But what I would love for her to say to Clark: "Clark, I love Davis."

[smallville_is_awesome]

http://www.totalrocky.com/archive/photos/prop_beast.jpg

Director: Beast Aftershave - Take 1
Doomsday: In the morning I splash it on and it makes me smeel manly
Director: CUT!

Haha :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:


Clark breaks the phone

jimmy: hey CK you know that's was lois's phone right

clark: Ah son of a.......
.................................................. ........................................

davis singing in a whisper as him and chloe leave town: Beauty and the beast

chloe: what are you singing?

davis: NOTHING!

Awesome :lol:!!

[Raine]

Davis: What if the world ends tonight?
Chloe: I wouldn't want to be with anyone else.

[jpfort1957]

Chloe: I'm sorry Lois, but I don't think I can ever do an earth man again, you'll see what I mean.

[jobookjunkie]

Chloe: I'm sorry Lois, but I don't think I can ever do an earth man again, you'll see what I mean.

:lol: Ollie's no competition then :lol:

[Jill]

Ash Ketchum: What kind of Pokemon is that? O_o
Doomsday: ROOOAAARRRRR

:rotfl:

[xrayvision]

[Clark's cellphone rings]

Clark: Hello?

Lois: Clark? What are you doing on the Red Blue Blur's line?

Clark: Que?

Lois: Don't try that with me Smallville. I know it's you. I already heard your voice.

Clark: Who gave you this number Lois? The Blur told me he called you on a payphone.

Lois: He did, but I had it traced.

Clark: Son on a b...

Lois: Why do you have his phone?

Clark: Let me give it to him. He's here.

Lois: Wait, you're next to him? You've seen his face? That lying bastard!!

Clark (plugging in the voice disguiser): Yes Miss Lane.

Lois: You told me that I would be the first to know your secret, you lying sleeze.

Clark (as the RBB): Hold on Miss Lane, this Kent kid is one hot piece of ass---more whipped cream Clark. Yeah, that's the s--t I'm talkin' about.

Lois (horrified): What the hell?

Clark (as the RBB): Slower Kent, take your time. Yeah...get the fluffy handcuffs...I've been a very naughty Blur.

Lois: Put Clark on the phone.

Clark (removing the voice disguiser): Yeah Lois?

Lois: This is why you flaked on me at the coffee shop?

Clark: Well, sorry Lois, it's just that I've been lonely since Lana left. The Blur was a "quick" fix. Hold on---did I give you permission to get up Mr. Blur? No I didn't. So you just sit your ass down and be ready for Clarky boy!!

Lois: What the hell's going on in there?

Clark: He's being even more naughty. Hold on---Mr. Blur, you will take it & like it!!!

Lois: I've had enough. Bye Clark, have a nice life on that farm.

Clark: Oh well. Now I have to come up with another hero identity so I can convince Lois I'm straight again. Next time, no more phonecalls at phonebooths. But how will I disguise myself with this red jacket? Maybe I can smear pie all over my face and call myself the Pie Man. Or get a robber's skimask and call myself the Man of Steal. Yeah, that's good!! No wait---what about Pies of Steal? Yeah, we have a winner!!

[Davis Bloome]

[Clark's cellphone rings]

Clark: Hello?

Lois: Clark? What are you doing on the Red Blue Blur's line?

Clark: Que?

Lois: Don't try that with me Smallville. I know it's you. I already heard your voice.

Clark: Who gave you this number Lois? The Blur told me he called you on a payphone.

Lois: He did, but I had it traced.

Clark: Son on a b...

Lois: Why do you have his phone?

Clark: Let me give it to him. He's here.

Lois: Wait, you're next to him? You've seen his face? That lying bastard!!

Clark (plugging in the voice disguiser): Yes Miss Lane.

Lois: You told me that I would be the first to know your secret, you lying sleeze.

Clark (as the RBB): Hold on Miss Lane, this Kent kid is one hot piece of ass---more whipped cream Clark. Yeah, that's the s--t I'm talkin' about.

Lois (horrified): What the hell?

Clark (as the RBB): Slower Kent, take your time. Yeah...get the fluffy handcuffs...I've been a very naughty Blur.

Lois: Put Clark on the phone.

Clark (removing the voice disguiser): Yeah Lois?

Lois: This is why you flaked on me at the coffee shop?

Clark: Well, sorry Lois, it's just that I've been lonely since Lana left. The Blur was a "quick" fix. Hold on---did I give you permission to get up Mr. Blur? No I didn't. So you just sit your ass down and be ready for Clarky boy!!

Lois: What the hell's going on in there?

Clark: He's being even more naughty. Hold on---Mr. Blur, you will take it & like it!!!

Lois: I've had enough. Bye Clark, have a nice life on that farm.

Clark: Oh well. Now I have to come up with another hero identity so I can convince Lois I'm straight again. Next time, no more phonecalls at phonebooths. But how will I disguise myself with this red jacket? Maybe I can smear pie all over my face and call myself the Pie Man. Or get a robber's skimask and call myself the Man of Steal. Yeah, that's good!! No wait---what about Pies of Steal? Yeah, we have a winner!!
Is this stuff permitted on this forum? lol. Anyway I was in tears laughing my 'you know what' off. Good one!:D

[Chloe Bloome]

[Clark's cellphone rings]

Clark: Hello?

Lois: Clark? What are you doing on the Red Blue Blur's line?

Clark: Que?

Lois: Don't try that with me Smallville. I know it's you. I already heard your voice.

Clark: Who gave you this number Lois? The Blur told me he called you on a payphone.

Lois: He did, but I had it traced.

Clark: Son on a b...

Lois: Why do you have his phone?

Clark: Let me give it to him. He's here.

Lois: Wait, you're next to him? You've seen his face? That lying bastard!!

Clark (plugging in the voice disguiser): Yes Miss Lane.

Lois: You told me that I would be the first to know your secret, you lying sleeze.

Clark (as the RBB): Hold on Miss Lane, this Kent kid is one hot piece of ass---more whipped cream Clark. Yeah, that's the s--t I'm talkin' about.

Lois (horrified): What the hell?

Clark (as the RBB): Slower Kent, take your time. Yeah...get the fluffy handcuffs...I've been a very naughty Blur.

Lois: Put Clark on the phone.

Clark (removing the voice disguiser): Yeah Lois?

Lois: This is why you flaked on me at the coffee shop?

Clark: Well, sorry Lois, it's just that I've been lonely since Lana left. The Blur was a "quick" fix. Hold on---did I give you permission to get up Mr. Blur? No I didn't. So you just sit your ass down and be ready for Clarky boy!!

Lois: What the hell's going on in there?

Clark: He's being even more naughty. Hold on---Mr. Blur, you will take it & like it!!!

Lois: I've had enough. Bye Clark, have a nice life on that farm.

Clark: Oh well. Now I have to come up with another hero identity so I can convince Lois I'm straight again. Next time, no more phonecalls at phonebooths. But how will I disguise myself with this red jacket? Maybe I can smear pie all over my face and call myself the Pie Man. Or get a robber's skimask and call myself the Man of Steal. Yeah, that's good!! No wait---what about Pies of Steal? Yeah, we have a winner!!

*blinks* If I dream about this tonight, you're in trouble! Gross! :lol:

[SandyV]

[Clark's cellphone rings]

Clark: Hello?

Lois: Clark? What are you doing on the Red Blue Blur's line?

Clark: Que?

Lois: Don't try that with me Smallville. I know it's you. I already heard your voice.

Clark: Who gave you this number Lois? The Blur told me he called you on a payphone.

Lois: He did, but I had it traced.

Clark: Son on a b...

Lois: Why do you have his phone?

Clark: Let me give it to him. He's here.

Lois: Wait, you're next to him? You've seen his face? That lying bastard!!

Clark (plugging in the voice disguiser): Yes Miss Lane.

Lois: You told me that I would be the first to know your secret, you lying sleeze.

Clark (as the RBB): Hold on Miss Lane, this Kent kid is one hot piece of ass---more whipped cream Clark. Yeah, that's the s--t I'm talkin' about.

Lois (horrified): What the hell?

Clark (as the RBB): Slower Kent, take your time. Yeah...get the fluffy handcuffs...I've been a very naughty Blur.

Lois: Put Clark on the phone.

Clark (removing the voice disguiser): Yeah Lois?

Lois: This is why you flaked on me at the coffee shop?

Clark: Well, sorry Lois, it's just that I've been lonely since Lana left. The Blur was a "quick" fix. Hold on---did I give you permission to get up Mr. Blur? No I didn't. So you just sit your ass down and be ready for Clarky boy!!

Lois: What the hell's going on in there?

Clark: He's being even more naughty. Hold on---Mr. Blur, you will take it & like it!!!

Lois: I've had enough. Bye Clark, have a nice life on that farm.

Clark: Oh well. Now I have to come up with another hero identity so I can convince Lois I'm straight again. Next time, no more phonecalls at phonebooths. But how will I disguise myself with this red jacket? Maybe I can smear pie all over my face and call myself the Pie Man. Or get a robber's skimask and call myself the Man of Steal. Yeah, that's good!! No wait---what about Pies of Steal? Yeah, we have a winner!!

I can totally see Lois' face :eek: I am laughing so hard, I think I'm about to cry. :rotfl: Very well done.

[green_arrow_girl358]

davis singing in a whisper as him and chloe leave town: Beauty and the beast

chloe: what are you singing?

davis: NOTHING!

So i'm assuming he's singing the Celine Dion line?

[tibbit78]

When Oliver Queen says to Clark about Doomsday, "Chloe likes tall, dark and Doomsday," I wished that Davis Bloome came along and said to Oliver Queen.

Davis Bloome/Doomsday: Just call me Doom & Gloom.

[SuperheroFan87]

Davis: Huh, I just noticed I'm a cheap Hulk-ripoff.........but wait, the Hulk is a superhero and I'm just a dude who is camoflague for an intergalactic serial killer.......whew! Thank God, I thought Marvel would sue for a minute there!

Clark: Uh huh, well, I promise I'll visit you whenever I can while you're in the PZ. Oh and when you get there its important to know that the bathroom is essentially all around you.......and the weather is nasty...........other than that, have fun!

[MetroGirl06]

Anyone: Shut up, Chole!

[Violet-Shadow]

Anyone: Shut up, Chole!

:lol:

[xrayvision]

Chloe: Where's Davis?

Clark: I gave him a ticket for a cruise I won on a radio contest. The dude needed to relax so he's not so angry.

Chloe: I tried calling him and he's not answering.

Clark: Hmm, I guess cell reception is pretty bad where he is now.

Chloe: What's that supposed to mean?

Clark: The Caribbean has many dead zones Chloe. You know like the Bermuda Triangle.

Chloe: You sent him there?

Clark: Cruise ships pass through there all the time. It's just a myth that bad things happen there.

Chloe: Why didn't you send me there as well?

Clark: I only got one ticket. Davis is having a lot of fun. The ship is making a stop on an island where he will be taken up in a plane by Helen Bryce Skydiving Ltd. and he will jump out with a parachute.

Chloe: Are you an idiot? He won't have a parachute!!!

Clark (acting like Urkel): Oops. Did I do that?

Chloe: Lies!!! Secrets & Lies!!!

Clark: He will also go swimming with the locals there. I saw pictures of them. I think they're aliens. They have triangle heads.

Chloe: Those are sharks you dumbass!!! You sent him swimming with sharks??!!?

Clark (acting like Urkel again): Did I do that?

Chloe: You're full of secrets & lies. Tell me your secret!!! Where is he? Take me to him now!!!

[Clark grabs Chloe & superspeeds her to the deck of the cruise ship in the Caribbean]

Clark: Here we are. He must be here somewhere. Maybe he's playing shuffle-ball. Trust me.

Chloe: What have you ever done to deserve my trust? Where is he Clark?

[Suddenly a freak wind sucks Clark's red jacket off him]

Clark: Hey, my red jacket!!

Chloe: Why don't you jump down in the water & get it?

Clark: Ahh, forget it. I'll get another one tomorrow. Strange though, the same thing happened to the other ticket I won.

Chloe: I knew it!!! You are nothing but a filthy liar. You were here with him before, weren't you?

Clark: Well, I've been lucky today. I won tickets from so many radio contests. I won tickets to meet Celine Dion, Kathie Lee Gifford, Barbra Streisand, Vince McMahon, Rosie O'Donnell, Tom Cruise, Dr. Phil, and Paris Hilton. I did just like my dad taught me & gave them all away...to Davis.

Chloe: You did what?

[All of a sudden a freak wind kicks up & starts pulling Chloe off the ship]

Chloe: Help Clark!!!!

Clark: Kelp? Yeah, there's plenty of kelp there!!

Chloe: I said help!!!!

Clark: Michael Phelps? Where? I'd love to share a joint with the guy. We're the fastest men alive, if you didn't know.

Chloe: HEEELLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!!!

[Clark pulls her back to the ship]

Chloe: What's the matter with you? Look into my eyes and tell me you don't have secrets & lies. Where the hell is Davis?!?! And that the hell's that wind?

Clark: We're in the Bermuda Triangle Chloe.

Chloe: Where is Davis? He's in the Phantom Zone, isn't he?

Clark: Why would he be in the Phantom Zone when he took a cruise to Bermuda. Hmm, come to think of it, I could have sworn I saw the QE2 in the Zone. I wonder how it got there?

Chloe: You wonder?

Clark: Hmm...and Richard Simmons was also there on the deck of Carnival Cruise Line sailing the Lake of Blood. I believe he was teaching aerobics classes to Zod, Faora, and some phantoms.

Chloe: You dumb son of a Kryptonian. The Bermuda Triangle has a portal to the Phantom Zone!! That's why there have been so many disappearances! Get Davis out now!!! I wanna be with Davis!!! I wanna be with him!!!

Clark: You wanna be with Davis. Fine, I can grant you that wish. Here.

[Clark throws her overboard and she gets sucked into the Phantom Zone]

Chloe: Where the hell am I?

Richard Simmons: Oh, come here miss!!!! We're gonna get you into spectacular shape!!

Chloe: But I'm not fat.

Richard Simmons: You're miserable. My aerobics will turn that frown upside down. Come, join us!! We'll make you feel beautiful again.

Chloe: But, I'm already beautiful. I'm the object of every man's desire.

Richard Simmons: No, no, no!! You're going to join me and my students for workout time.

Chloe: Where's Davis Bloom?

Richard Simmons: Oh Davis? He's trying on legwarmers and is getting ready to teach a class. I promoted him on his first day here. I've never seen someone as flamboyant as him. There he is.

Chloe: Davis, you're here.

Davis: I love this place Chloe. Isn't it awesome how we get to spend eternity here?

Chloe: Well as long as I'm with you.

Davis: Oh, about that. I discovered things about myself I never knew before in here Chloe. I don't really...have time for you. Sorry.

Chloe: Lies!!!! Secrets & lies!!!

[We go to Clark who is at home watching TV]

TV: In other news...Celine Dion, Kathie Lee Gifford, Barbra Streisand, Vince McMahon, Rosie O'Donnell, Tom Cruise, Dr. Phil, and Paris Hilton were all found brutally murdered earlier this afternoon. A trail of their pieces was found from their respective homes to the coast of Florida...

Clark: Thanks Dad. You always taught me it was better to give than to receive. I finally know why.

[Later at the Fortress]

Clark: Are you here Jor-El?

Jor-El: My son, what is it?

Clark: I just found out today that the Bermuda Triangle has a 1 way portal to the Phantom Zone.

Jor-El: Yes my son. It was a hotspot for many intergalactic criminals, so I opened a portal that sucked them all into the Phantom Zone.

Clark: Should I close the portal? I think it's fulfilled its purpose.

Jor-El: Didn't it help you as recently as today?

Clark: Yes. Very well, I'll leave it open.

Jor-El: Besides, I sent a madman named Saddam and a p---y named Chris tickets for a cruise there myself.

Clark: Hmm, so that's where I get my cruise ticket giving ways from. Nice to know we're more alike than I thought.

Jor-El: I'm proud of you my son. You are indeed a Big Smart Alien.

Clark: Thanks father.

Jonathan: I'm proud of you too Clark.

Clark: Dad, is that you? Wow, my 2 dads finally get along. What are you doing there anyway?

Jor-El & Jonathan: Louise McCallum & Mrs. Lang.

Clark: Where's Mr. Lang?

Jonathan: In the big fiery pit down below. He was caught saving Lana from drowning in calamine lotion when she was 2. Lana hit her head on the bathtub and knocked herself out when she was trying to hear some stuff her parents were whispering about in the bedroom with Henry Small. I believe it was the first time someone had to save her as a result of her obsession with secrets & lies.

Clark: Wait, if Mr. Lang went to Hell because he saved Lana, then...

Jonathan: You're going to SuperHell Clark. It's the 666th level of hell.

Clark: Noooo!!!!!!!!

Jonathan: You're only hope is to make it up by doing good deeds starting today. You will find a red, blue & yellow suit with a red cape, red boots, and a big S on the chest in the top level of the Fortress. Put it on and go save as many people as possible.

Clark: Should I kill Lana?

Jonathan: No, her kryptonite "suit" will cause massive cancer in her body and kill her in a few months.

Clark: Thanks Dad. I gotta go and save the world.

Jonathan: Give them hell son!!

[Welling_is_pretty]

Clark (as the RBB): Slower Kent, take your time. Yeah...get the fluffy handcuffs...I've been a very naughty Blur.

Clark: He's being even more naughty. Hold on---Mr. Blur, you will take it & like it!!!
I think you might have just inspired a new ship! Clark/RBB! Yum! (hey if we can have Clark/Bizarro...)

Great stuff!


Davis: Huh, I just noticed I'm a cheap Hulk-ripoff.........but wait, the Hulk is a superhero and I'm just a dude who is camoflague for an intergalactic serial killer.......whew! Thank God, I thought Marvel would sue for a minute there!
There's a moment where he was threatening Jimmy in the Talon basement where he says something like "you don't want to get me upset" and all I could think was "now he has to to say 'you wouldn't like me when I'm angry'!"

A few lines I would have liked to see:

Chloe: "Everything I have ever done, right or wrong, has been for you, Clark."
Clark: "That's so hot, Chloe. I've been an idiot, chasing after Lana and then Lois. You're the best ever and a cute, perky blond. Marry me?"
Chloe: "Sure, soon as I get back from hiding out with Doomsday here."

Clark, after pounding the file cabinet: "Frak! Now I have to fix this."

Oliver: "Time to step up Clark, that's what real heroes do."
Clark: "Yeah whatever Mr. I'm-a-cheap-knockoff-of-Batman."

[KneelBeforeZod!]

audience to Clark: Fly much?

Doomsday to Clark: Die much?

Clark to Chloe: Lie much?

Everyone to Lana: Cry much?

[Steve-El]

[extended scene]
Jimmy: You're the Beast. You're the one who went Cloverfield on my wedding reception and took Chloe.

[Jawth]

Chloe: I can't let you put Davis in that virtual hell forever. You'd never forgive youself.

Clark: He's killed like fifty people and put Jimmy in the Hospital. Are you ****ing kidding me?

Chloe: You caught me. I just showed up here to make Davis weak so you could toss his ass into the Phantom Zone easier.

*Clark superspeeds, breaks both of Davis' hands and throws him into the Zone.*

Davis: Noooo!